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128 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1997
I would tell you the safe procedure to avoid lightning while on an exposed ridge, but I see no reason you should not learn it as I did. If you get tweaked by God’s electric finger, I can hardly be to blame. You are a fat-assed nerd anyway, incapable of running more than three miles without the last rites. You, fart-brain, are a reader, and the only thing I despise more, is a writer, who simply ought to announce himself as a public masturbator and be done with it. But I am telling you my story, you are listening, so we have a truce, if not respect. I am a writer, you are a reader, and if there were a God, he might be amused to have mercy on our souls. Or piss on them. In long electric streaks.
When I am away from the mountains, I grow cross, and my dreams are populated by baleful images of prairie, or the suppuration of architecture. I can hardly sleep in my bed any longer, and long have up a tent for my wanderings except in the foulest of climes. I have slept in caves with some gladness, but only for short periods. They seem kin to my bivy sack. Some old memory of troglodyte or troll lingers in my blood, but my gods are fundamentally those of the sky, however profoundly otiose.