The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People

by Deborah Stone

No one wants to think about getting older. It's true. At any age, when things are moving along normally day to day and everyone seems fit and well, there seems no reason to think about future problems that your friends and relatives might (and probably will) come across as they age. In fact, it might even seem a little morbid to think such thoughts, or possibly even tempting fate?

Yet there will come a time when you must raise these issues and, ideally, this should be before any problems arise. The Essential Family Survival Guide to Caring for Older People is the ultimate source of information and help for families with care responsibilities. Deborah Stone draws on her extensive experience working in elder care to offer practical advice on every aspect of the field indepth.

Topics range from how to get help immediately, legal information, care funding options, a guide to useful technology and advice on the main physical and mental health issues that affect older people. Plus guidance is given on dealing with social services and ensuring you choose the right care for your situations. Crucially, the book also offers help on how to cope as a carer with practical advice on juggling family, work and your caring responsibilities while looking after yourself.

Genres: Family

288 pages, Paperback

First published November 14, 2019

About the author

Deborah Stone is the best-selling author of four gripping psychological thrillers that keep readers turning pages late into the night. Her novels have won multiple awards and critical acclaim, establishing her as a standout voice in contemporary psychological suspense and thriller fiction.

Her latest release, Nowhere Man (October 3, 2024), is available in paperback, Kindle, and as an audiobook. It follows the success of Semi-Detached (April 3, 2023) which was recently honoured with the Chill With A Book Readers' Award.

Deborah’s second novel, Me and My Shadow, received the prestigious Chill With A Book Premier Award, given only to books that earn outstanding ratings across all reviewer categories. Her debut, What's Left Unsaid, won the Runner-Up Prize for Best Book of 2018 in the same awards and remains a reader favourite.

In addition to fiction, Deborah is the author of the highly respected non-fiction guide, The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People, a finalist in the Wishing Shelf Book Awards 2022.

A recognised expert on elder care, Deborah frequently appears on BBC, ITV, Sky, and Channel 5, offering expert advice on aging, care planning, and family support. She contributes regularly to national newspapers and lifestyle magazines, helping families navigate the complexities of caring for older relatives.

She lives in London with her husband and their delightfully mischievous golden retriever

Reviews

[Joanne Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a child you think your parents are going to around forever and have no idea that one day you will have to look after them just as they have looked after you. Recently, I’ve had to start thinking about my own family situation. My mother in law lives 200 miles away in Scotland and a recent fall at home gave us plenty to think about, especially as out of her 3 children The Grumpy Scotsman lives the furthest away and so we were the ones least able to help. And that makes us feel guilty we aren’t around to help more. My dad lives 200 miles away from us in the opposite direction and my mum lives in The Netherlands and as I’m their only child their care will fall to me when the time comes. And that’s why this book is already firmly placed on my bookshelf because I need to be prepared for when that time comes…as I know it will.

I really don’t think you will find a more comprehensive and relevant book about this subject than The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People. It’s packed full of every single piece of information you need such as Lasting Power of Attorney and why it’s so important to have it in place, help for carers, information on different medical conditions, keeping older people in contact with the outside world, dietary guidelines and so very much more. Everything has been thoroughly researched and is cross referenced with website addresses for a more comprehensive information on each separate issue. There are also top tips (such as freezing bread in smaller portions so an older person always has bread available but doesn’t waste a full loaf) and real life case studies to relate to.

I was also given food for thought about my own future regarding wills and our own finances in the long term. I’ve not even thought about my own retirement yet and how our financial situation will also be changing accordingly. My children may be older and have children of their own but I still don’t feel grown up enough to be a grandparent and be facing retirement! But I have to start facing facts that someday my children will need this information for me and my husband, and when they do I hope that an updated version of this book will be available for them. It’s an in-depth, inclusive guide that you don’t want to think about reading but please don’t leave it till you REALLY need it! Be prepared now and you will be able to handle anything life throws at you with this book by your side.

Very highly recommended by me!

[Tara Cowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very informative and helpful for a situation we all will face but never take the time to plan for. Particularly useful, I thought, were the sections on aspects of caring for older people which recommend taking care of you, something a lot of us don’t think of, but of course, we can’t be the best carers if we’re not mentally and physically healthy, too.

Stone also takes on the family drama which can arise during the on-going illnesses of our loved ones and gives useful tips on how to navigate that. She considers legal ramifications and gives you a roadmap for the health care system (the book is U.K.-specific, but a lot of it can be applied in the U.S. as well), discusses how important it is to plan ahead while the older relative is still healthy, and brings up important financial planning as well. The personal stories, too, were particularly meaningful, and will help carers feel that they are not alone.

Stone also offers tangible advice on keeping older people engaged and occupied so they don’t feel bored or lonely, as well as an explanation of many of the ailments and diseases that often trouble older people and how to cope with them. The practical aspects such as the emergency care forms, tips on keeping your relative safe from accidental harm, and what to look for when scoping out a good care home will give carers real, viable help. Highly recommended for any family!!

[Matt Hutson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I wouldn't just go out and buy this book for the heck of it, it is a fantastic guide for those who do have aging people in their families who they dearly love.

Like I said above, it is a guide so it's the type of book you can dip in and out of going through the different specific needs you might encounter when taking care of your aging relatives. There is everything imaginable from Health, to happiness, to how to deal with death. Some of the things you wouldn't have even thought of if you had not read this book.

So I recommend reading it if you do have family members that you need to take care of. On a bonus, it does give you a good idea of how you can take care of yourself as you get older. It's always good to be prepared with this type of knowledge.

[Billy Buttons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People
Author: Deborah Stone

Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 17
Stats
Editing: 9/10
Writing Style: 8/10
Content: 9/10
Cover: 5/5
Of the 17 readers:
16 would read another book by this author.
17 thought the cover was good or excellent.
17 felt it was easy to follow.
17 would recommend this book to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 9 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge’.
Of all the readers, 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
Of all the readers, 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘clarity of message’.
17 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
17 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
“If you plan on being an elderly carer, this is the book for you. Comprehensive, factual, and packed full of common sense.” Male reader, aged 61
“If you worry about being a carer for an elderly parent of grandparent, this self-help book will assist with problems such as juggling your work/family responsibility, funding, and the importance of looking after yourself too! I thought it was well-written, accessible, and not filled with waffle.” Female reader, aged 52
“Practical advice for the caring of the elderly. I know we don´t want to dwell on such things, but when it happens – and it happens to many – this book might help you to keep swimming when the waters get rough.” Male reader, aged 48
“An excellent book to have on your shelf if/when you need to look after an aging parent.” Male reader, aged 56

To Sum It Up:
‘Practical, informative, the sort of book you don´t want to have but it´s important you do! A FINALIST and highly recommended.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards

[Anne Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book – it’s practical, it’s realistic both about what’s available and the hurdles along the way, and it presents a vast amount of usable information in a digestible and accessible format. I liked the way that information was organised: the first chapter, “What to do if you need help NOW” provides a quick gallop through the content, full of links to more in-depth information and relevant websites, and there’s also a comprehensive alphabetical index at the back of the book. I read the book from cover to cover, which others are unlikely to do – and the book really is designed as a resource for carers to dip into for key information.

The tone and voice of the author was spot-on – there’s a particular empathy with the carer and their need for personal support (and where to get it), the occasional anecdote (personal experience, and that of others), and an acknowledgement of the fact that some aspects will be difficult. Fair to say, I think, that there’s nothing particularly new here – all the information included is available via the plethora of websites out there targeted at the elderly and their carers, but this book would certainly make finding it rather less of an uphill struggle.

Do I have a criticism? I do think it maybe includes a tad too much information, particularly the substantial section covering health issues – but my perception of its usefulness might well have been influenced by my cover-to-cover reading. I also wondered about some of the detail included, and how quickly it might change, although perhaps not such an issue for the kindle version with its potential for updating.

But I’m happy to recommend this book, particularly to those with less established caring experience. Over the years, I’ve found the information I’ve needed through many hours of searching the internet, comparing sources of information, discussing issues in chat rooms and groups: anything that makes that quest rather easier, and holds your hand along the way, can only be commended.

[Mo Chapter · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a member of Love Books Group on Facebook I was given the opportunity to read and review this book. I was interested in this due to having been a full time carer to my mother and then having to deal with her passing. I did it all without much idea what to do next and I got through it. Now I have read this book I wish so much that I had something like this a few years ago as it would have made dealing with the practical side much easier. Following on from my mothers passing I was soon diagnosed with a brain tumour which is located deep within my brain and therefore I am learning to live with it knowing that any biopsy or treatment would do more damage than help me on my journey. This book is a godsend when I am therefore looking at my future options.

Okay, enough about me and why I wanted to read it... on to the book itself! I found the book to be very well researched giving an extensive thorough guide full of practical ideas and pointers.

I don't think there is any other book out there that contains as much relevant information on this subject. It is clear that everything in this book has been fully researched and there are even website suggestions for further information. As someone who is now living alone I found many on the top tips very helpful for me on a day-to-day basis and not just older people. I wish I could share this book with everyone - it is helpful for anyone facing ill health of themselves, their friends and families. Please go buy a copy - you will find so much useful information in this book.

[_sassy_39 · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Essential Family Guide To Caring For Older People written by the author Deborah Stone is a much needed book for me. I live in a joint family and seeing parents and grandparents aging is really painful. This book gonna help me as a carer. I should have knowledge to support my family and friends.

The best thing about this book is that the author has given practical advice in the book from her experience working in elder care. Proper financial planning is very important factor and one should definitely take advice from a financial advisor.

A-Z of Care Jargon will make you aware about the terminologies that is associated with old age.

The book is written in a simple language and is easy to understand. I would recommend this book to everyone who has older relatives and family members. It's really insightful. One can pen down important points in their diary for quick reference. I really appreciate the vast knowledge shared by the author. It gonna help a lot. This is a perfect guidebook.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People is a brilliant guide. As a teenager I watched my family try to cope with my grandmother's dementia and decline into Alzheimer's along with her physical decline. This is the type of guide that would have helped so much. From what to do if you need to act now, to planning ahead, to navigating the legalities and family dynamics, this book is comprehensive and easy to read. Even if you don't need to worry just yet, but have relatives who made need care soon, I would recommend this book to you.

[Sandy]

mychestnutreadingtree highly recommended this book ( review)

[J Fearnley · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5-5*

There’s lot’s of really good information and help in this book for those looking after older people or, indeed, if you are an older person or approaching that time of life. It signposts where to go to get help and support to make life as easy and fulfilling as possible. Detailing those important things that often get overlooked.

It was good to read about how important it is for family to talk to each other – about the needs of the older person, yes, but also and as importantly about how each of you, the family members now also the careers, feel. This is in order to ensure that everything gets done and that there is no, or very little, resentment over care responsibilities. This is so important as it can have such a long reaching impact.

There are anecdotes which really bring home the authors points in a thoughtful way.

It also takes you along all those steps that you need to know and do when a person dies – and they may not always be an older person for some of this to be relevant – bereavement is considered one of the most stressful experiences in life so this guide is invaluable in letting you know what you need to do.

I can’t concur enough with one premise of this book that it is so important not to leave putting your affairs in order. This is the book that will set you right and enable you to move forward with this and many other elements, needs and issues that you can come across when dealing with the care of older people. From finance to medication, from care at home to care in a home this is such a useful tool for older people, those approaching older life, their family and carers. It is a book every household should read.

It is clear, easy to read and an excellent guide which everyone should have.

Blog Tour

Oh! By the way, also reviewing today is Anne so do take a look at her thread.

Many thanks to Kelly @LoveBooksGroup for the invitation to this absolutely essential Blog Tour for The Essential Family Guide to Caring for Older People by Deborah Stone. Thanks go to Bloomsbury Green Tree publishers and Deborah Stone for an eCopy of this important book.

[Laura Nelson (Tangents and Tissues) · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those that don’t know me, I normally describe myself as bookkeeper by day, book blogger by night. But, for me, my most important role is that of daughter and full-time carer to my mum aka The Mommy. My mum has COPD and had a stroke back in February 2018 (admitted to hospital during the red weather warning no less – woman doesn’t do things by half! *snorts*).

As an only child, and with no immediate family close by, I’ve had to learn to traverse the role of carer mostly on my own as TM and I adapted to our new ‘normal’.

How I wish that I had had something like this guidebook to aide me at the time! Made all the more relatable by the fact that the author is speaking from her own experience – I felt a certain kinship. The role of carer can feel very lonely at times.

I wouldn’t say this was a manual you’d pick up and read from cover to cover. Some sections will prove to be more useful than others. The good thing is you can just zip to the section that’s relevant at any time (via the handy index) and you’re good to go!

With a list of useful contacts and a care jargon glossary at the end, my hope is some of the mist clears for my fellow carers.

Thanks to the author, Deborah Stone, for taking the time to help guide us through what can sometimes appear to be the maze of caring!

Lastly, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll always have a willing ear.

[Rochelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to thank LoveBooktours, the publishers and Deborah Stone for ARC copy of this for an honest review

I found this book very informative and helpful for a situation we all will face but never take the time to plan for. Particularly useful, I thought, were the sections on aspects of caring for older people, which recommend taking care of you, something a lot of us do not think of, but, of course, we cannot be the best careers if we are not mentally and physically healthy, too. I just wished I had known about this book before my mom passed.

Stone also takes on the family drama which can arise during the on-going illnesses of our loved ones and gives useful tips on how to navigate that.

I highly recommend this book to all families, I am giving this 5 stars.

You can follow Deborah Stone and Lovebooktours on social media.

www.maturethinking.co.uk

https://twitter.com/deborahstone_?lan...

https://twitter.com/LoveBooksTours

https://lovebooksgroup.com/

[Ani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Creo que para alguien que vive en el Reino Unido ha de ser el libro perfecto porque está lleno links a la nhs y guías de trámites burocráticos para recibir ayuda del gobierno. Fuera de eso no aporta mucho, ojalá existiera una versión por país.

[Tricia Hooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was fine. While there were some
helpful tips, lot of it was common sense or not applicable b/c it was written for a UK audience where they have universal healthcare.