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Nathaniel Brandens Self-Esteem Every Day: Reflections on Self-Esteem and Spirituality
A pocket-sized package of wise advice and persuasive prescriptions, this collection of inspirational quotations brings together reflections that refresh our appreciation of the good things in life.
Nathaniel Brandens Self-Esteem Everyday offers practical suggestions for renewing our commitment to the values, interests, and projects that bring us pure satisfaction and joy.
Nathaniel Brandens Self-Esteem Everyday offers practical suggestions for renewing our commitment to the values, interests, and projects that bring us pure satisfaction and joy.
416 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
About the author
Nathaniel Branden
165 books587 followersNathaniel Branden was a Canadian–American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. A former associate and romantic partner of Ayn Rand, Branden also played a prominent role in the 1960s in promoting Rand's philosophy, Objectivism. Rand and Branden split acrimoniously in 1968, after which Branden focused on developing his own psychological theories and modes of therapy.
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August 11, 2026
AN OPENING ESSAY (ACTUALLY DISCUSSING ‘SPIRITUALITY’!), THEN 365 BRIEF QUOTATIONS
Nathaniel Branden (1930-2014) was a Canadian psychotherapist and writer who was Ayn Rand's chief spokesman, until their break in 1968.
He wrote in the dedication, “this is for Devers Branden [his wife]---with special thanks for her care and patience in rereading almost everything I ever wrote and highlighting the sentences that became raw material for many of the passages in this book.”
He begins the introductory chapter of this 1998 book, “Four decades ago, when I began lecturing on self-esteem, the challenge was to persuade people that the subject was worthy of study. Almost no one was talking about self-esteem in those days. Today almost everyone seems to be talking about self-esteem, and the danger is that the idea may become trivialized. And yet of all the judgments we pass, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves: It touches the very core of our existence…
“Self-esteem is a particular way of EXPERIENCING the self. It is more complex than any mental picture of ourselves and more basic than any transitory feeling. It contains emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components. It ordinarily exists, in large measure, beneath conscious awareness, as context or contained for all of our thoughts, feelings, and responses, as the ground of our being… Self-esteem entails certain ACTION DISPOSITIONS to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than avoidance or denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite. These characteristics are difficult, perhaps impossible, to fake.” (Pg. 9-10)
He continues, “The essence of self-esteem is the experience that we are competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and that we are worthy of happiness. Thus, self-esteem is made of two intimately related components: (1) trust in our mind---in our ability to think and to respond effectively to challenges; and (2) confidence that success, achievement, friendship, love, respect, and personal fulfillment---in sum, HAPPINESS---are appropriate to us. Self-esteem is not a luxury but a vitally important psychological need. Its survival value is obvious.” (Pg. 12)
He outlines, “Self-esteem is built over time by the following practices: ‘choosing consciousness’ rather than unconsciousness; ‘self-acceptance’ rather than self-disowning; ‘self-responsibility’ rather than passivity, alibing, or blaming; ‘self-assertiveness’ rather than self-suppression; ‘purposefulness’ rather than drifting; ‘integrity’ rather than self-betrayal.’” (Pg. 14-15)
He clarifies, “When I use the world ‘spiritual,’ I do not intend any religious, mystical, or otherworldly meaning. By ‘spiritual’ I mean that which pertains to consciousness (as contrasted with ‘material,’ that which pertains to or is constituted of matter) and to the needs and development of consciousness. Now let me explain why I call the attainment of self-esteem a spiritual achievement. The foundation of the practice of living consciously is respect for the facts of reality, respect to truth---recognition that that which is, is. Such a practice reflects the understanding that to place consciousness in an adversarial relationship to existence---to evade or dismiss reality---is to invite destruction.” (Pg. 15-16)
He acknowledges, “To many, self-assertiveness might seem like the very opposite of a spiritual virtue. Yet, if the practice of self-assertiveness is considered, not in a vacuum, torn from all context, but as part of a network of virtues that include rationality, self-responsibility, and integrity, it may be viewed in a very different light, as an essential step toward the realization of our humanity. Self-assertiveness is not about running over widows and orphans to get to the front of the line or being rude to waiters or behaving as though no one’s needs existed but one’s own: it is, rather, the courage to treat oneself and one’s convictions with decent respect in encounters with other persons… Certainly spirituality is closer to openness than self-concealment, to candor than dissembling, to authenticity than its opposite.” (Pg. 19-20)
He continues, “To live purposefully is to think through and formulate one’s short-term and long-term goals or purposes, to identify the actions needed to realize them, to keep oneself on track, and to pay careful attention to whether the outcomes produced by one’s actions are the outcomes anticipated and whether one needs to go back to the drawing board... To remove oneself from the realm of purpose is to become a non-participant, to exist on the sidelines of life where no form of spirituality is possible…. If one is genuinely concerned with the growth and evolution of consciousness, which is what a spiritual quest or commitment entails, than a lack of integrity cannot be tolerated. It is a self-inflicted wound one must strive to heal.” (Pg. 21)
He goes on, “if we run from honest self-examination while protesting that it is our highest concern---we cannot then renew our purchase on spirituality by studying the I Ching, the Kabbala, the Bible, or the scriptures of Buddhism. The issue is not so much whether we are perfect in our integrity but rather how concerned we are to correct any breaches in it. In the absence of such concern, whatever our life’s journey is about, it is not about spiritual growth.” (Pg. 22)
He recalls, “I began thinking about the relationship between self-esteem and spirituality some years ago when I was asked a provocative question by an elderly businessman. I was addressing a group of CEOs on the ideas I was writing about in ‘The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem’… At the end of my presentation, the oldest businessman in the group said to me, ‘Is this a religion---these principles?’ At first I was puzzled since I had made no reference to religion and no such thought was in my mind. Seeing the puzzled expression on my face, he corrected himself: ‘Perhaps what I mean to ask it, is this a code of ethics?’ I answered, ‘Well, I hadn’t been quite thinking of it that way, but now that you ask, yes, I would say that it is---or part of one.’” (Pg. 22-23)
He adds, “Afterward, I found myself reflecting on why he had first thought of religion. Was it simply that for many people religion and ethics are almost synonymous? Somehow, in this case, I did not think so. What I began to suspect much later was that he had been groping for the connection that I have made explicit in this essay; the connection between the six pillars and spirituality. For many people one of the commonest associations with the idea of spirituality is the longing to feel at home in the universe---to feel benevolently connected to all that exists and to the ultimate source, whatever that might be, of all that exists. We will not, in this context, raise the troublesome question of whether we wish to be benevolently connected to that which we regard as evil: instead, we will focus just on the longing for the experience of peace and harmony with existence, in the most profound sense imaginable.” (Pg. 23-24)
“Whatever else may be required for the fulfillment of this desire, inner peace and harmony with oneself are preconditions of peace and harmony with the external world. A spirit cannot be benevolently connected to the universe before being benevolently connected to itself. However, there is a sense in which the reverse is also true. The relationship is reciprocal. A spirit at loggerheads with reality cannot be at peace with itself. This is why the theme of respect for the facts of reality runs through my discussion of all six pillars. That which is, is; that which is not, is not. No truth is more fundamental. To embrace this truth is the beginning of self-esteem. It is also the beginning of spiritual development.” (Pg. 24)
Then he explains, “The purpose of the sayings that follow this essay---one for each day of the year---is not to serve as a substitute for a serious study of self-esteem. Rather, the sayings are offered as a point of focus to assist you in maintaining the consistency and discipline that healthy self-esteem requires. They can provoke, inspire, remind, and serve as objects of mediation. Their purpose is to help keep the fire lit.” (Pg 24-25)
Then the 365 brief sayings (selected from Branden’s other books by his wife) follow.
I don’t know that all fans of Branden will necessarily ‘read one saying each day,’ but his wife did a fine job in selecting them.
Nathaniel Branden (1930-2014) was a Canadian psychotherapist and writer who was Ayn Rand's chief spokesman, until their break in 1968.
He wrote in the dedication, “this is for Devers Branden [his wife]---with special thanks for her care and patience in rereading almost everything I ever wrote and highlighting the sentences that became raw material for many of the passages in this book.”
He begins the introductory chapter of this 1998 book, “Four decades ago, when I began lecturing on self-esteem, the challenge was to persuade people that the subject was worthy of study. Almost no one was talking about self-esteem in those days. Today almost everyone seems to be talking about self-esteem, and the danger is that the idea may become trivialized. And yet of all the judgments we pass, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves: It touches the very core of our existence…
“Self-esteem is a particular way of EXPERIENCING the self. It is more complex than any mental picture of ourselves and more basic than any transitory feeling. It contains emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components. It ordinarily exists, in large measure, beneath conscious awareness, as context or contained for all of our thoughts, feelings, and responses, as the ground of our being… Self-esteem entails certain ACTION DISPOSITIONS to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than avoidance or denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite. These characteristics are difficult, perhaps impossible, to fake.” (Pg. 9-10)
He continues, “The essence of self-esteem is the experience that we are competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and that we are worthy of happiness. Thus, self-esteem is made of two intimately related components: (1) trust in our mind---in our ability to think and to respond effectively to challenges; and (2) confidence that success, achievement, friendship, love, respect, and personal fulfillment---in sum, HAPPINESS---are appropriate to us. Self-esteem is not a luxury but a vitally important psychological need. Its survival value is obvious.” (Pg. 12)
He outlines, “Self-esteem is built over time by the following practices: ‘choosing consciousness’ rather than unconsciousness; ‘self-acceptance’ rather than self-disowning; ‘self-responsibility’ rather than passivity, alibing, or blaming; ‘self-assertiveness’ rather than self-suppression; ‘purposefulness’ rather than drifting; ‘integrity’ rather than self-betrayal.’” (Pg. 14-15)
He clarifies, “When I use the world ‘spiritual,’ I do not intend any religious, mystical, or otherworldly meaning. By ‘spiritual’ I mean that which pertains to consciousness (as contrasted with ‘material,’ that which pertains to or is constituted of matter) and to the needs and development of consciousness. Now let me explain why I call the attainment of self-esteem a spiritual achievement. The foundation of the practice of living consciously is respect for the facts of reality, respect to truth---recognition that that which is, is. Such a practice reflects the understanding that to place consciousness in an adversarial relationship to existence---to evade or dismiss reality---is to invite destruction.” (Pg. 15-16)
He acknowledges, “To many, self-assertiveness might seem like the very opposite of a spiritual virtue. Yet, if the practice of self-assertiveness is considered, not in a vacuum, torn from all context, but as part of a network of virtues that include rationality, self-responsibility, and integrity, it may be viewed in a very different light, as an essential step toward the realization of our humanity. Self-assertiveness is not about running over widows and orphans to get to the front of the line or being rude to waiters or behaving as though no one’s needs existed but one’s own: it is, rather, the courage to treat oneself and one’s convictions with decent respect in encounters with other persons… Certainly spirituality is closer to openness than self-concealment, to candor than dissembling, to authenticity than its opposite.” (Pg. 19-20)
He continues, “To live purposefully is to think through and formulate one’s short-term and long-term goals or purposes, to identify the actions needed to realize them, to keep oneself on track, and to pay careful attention to whether the outcomes produced by one’s actions are the outcomes anticipated and whether one needs to go back to the drawing board... To remove oneself from the realm of purpose is to become a non-participant, to exist on the sidelines of life where no form of spirituality is possible…. If one is genuinely concerned with the growth and evolution of consciousness, which is what a spiritual quest or commitment entails, than a lack of integrity cannot be tolerated. It is a self-inflicted wound one must strive to heal.” (Pg. 21)
He goes on, “if we run from honest self-examination while protesting that it is our highest concern---we cannot then renew our purchase on spirituality by studying the I Ching, the Kabbala, the Bible, or the scriptures of Buddhism. The issue is not so much whether we are perfect in our integrity but rather how concerned we are to correct any breaches in it. In the absence of such concern, whatever our life’s journey is about, it is not about spiritual growth.” (Pg. 22)
He recalls, “I began thinking about the relationship between self-esteem and spirituality some years ago when I was asked a provocative question by an elderly businessman. I was addressing a group of CEOs on the ideas I was writing about in ‘The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem’… At the end of my presentation, the oldest businessman in the group said to me, ‘Is this a religion---these principles?’ At first I was puzzled since I had made no reference to religion and no such thought was in my mind. Seeing the puzzled expression on my face, he corrected himself: ‘Perhaps what I mean to ask it, is this a code of ethics?’ I answered, ‘Well, I hadn’t been quite thinking of it that way, but now that you ask, yes, I would say that it is---or part of one.’” (Pg. 22-23)
He adds, “Afterward, I found myself reflecting on why he had first thought of religion. Was it simply that for many people religion and ethics are almost synonymous? Somehow, in this case, I did not think so. What I began to suspect much later was that he had been groping for the connection that I have made explicit in this essay; the connection between the six pillars and spirituality. For many people one of the commonest associations with the idea of spirituality is the longing to feel at home in the universe---to feel benevolently connected to all that exists and to the ultimate source, whatever that might be, of all that exists. We will not, in this context, raise the troublesome question of whether we wish to be benevolently connected to that which we regard as evil: instead, we will focus just on the longing for the experience of peace and harmony with existence, in the most profound sense imaginable.” (Pg. 23-24)
“Whatever else may be required for the fulfillment of this desire, inner peace and harmony with oneself are preconditions of peace and harmony with the external world. A spirit cannot be benevolently connected to the universe before being benevolently connected to itself. However, there is a sense in which the reverse is also true. The relationship is reciprocal. A spirit at loggerheads with reality cannot be at peace with itself. This is why the theme of respect for the facts of reality runs through my discussion of all six pillars. That which is, is; that which is not, is not. No truth is more fundamental. To embrace this truth is the beginning of self-esteem. It is also the beginning of spiritual development.” (Pg. 24)
Then he explains, “The purpose of the sayings that follow this essay---one for each day of the year---is not to serve as a substitute for a serious study of self-esteem. Rather, the sayings are offered as a point of focus to assist you in maintaining the consistency and discipline that healthy self-esteem requires. They can provoke, inspire, remind, and serve as objects of mediation. Their purpose is to help keep the fire lit.” (Pg 24-25)
Then the 365 brief sayings (selected from Branden’s other books by his wife) follow.
I don’t know that all fans of Branden will necessarily ‘read one saying each day,’ but his wife did a fine job in selecting them.
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