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Just As I Am
Benson
I was a man who had it all. The perfect wife, terrific children, a beautiful home and my own business. Em and I were on top of the world. Until...we heard the word inoperable cancer. My entire world came crumbling down around me. I was losing my best friend, the love of my life. My new best friend became a bottle of bourbon. I am now a shell of a man drowning in my pain.
Marley
Watching my best friend fade before my eyes is almost more than I can take. Em, and I have been friends since nursing school. I never dreamed when I received that call that I would be here taking care of her, watching her vibrance wither away before my eyes. We had to say goodbye way too soon, but I made her a promise and I intend to keep it. I refuse to let him drown in his sorrows. I only wanted to pull him from the darkness, keep my promise, but life has other plans.
Drowning In Total Darkness…..She Became My Light.
I was a man who had it all. The perfect wife, terrific children, a beautiful home and my own business. Em and I were on top of the world. Until...we heard the word inoperable cancer. My entire world came crumbling down around me. I was losing my best friend, the love of my life. My new best friend became a bottle of bourbon. I am now a shell of a man drowning in my pain.
Marley
Watching my best friend fade before my eyes is almost more than I can take. Em, and I have been friends since nursing school. I never dreamed when I received that call that I would be here taking care of her, watching her vibrance wither away before my eyes. We had to say goodbye way too soon, but I made her a promise and I intend to keep it. I refuse to let him drown in his sorrows. I only wanted to pull him from the darkness, keep my promise, but life has other plans.
Drowning In Total Darkness…..She Became My Light.
278 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 5, 2019
52 people are currently reading
179 people want to read
About the author
Lynn Jaxon
4 books267 followersLynn Jaxon lives with her husband and three children in Arkansas. She graduated in 1994 from the University of Central Arkansas. When she’s not writing, she is spending time with her husband, children and grandchildren, reading in a bubble bath or running with her crazy dog.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
March 31, 2019
WOW...What a very heartfelt debut book Lynn Jaxon!!
Ladies make sure you have those tissues handy!!!
"Don't ever forget the power of the daisy and our love!"
Swoonnn...soooo many feels you will have when reading Just As I Am...just posting that quote above gets my emotions going again!! Wahh lol
Great job Lynn Jaxon..blown away that this was your debut book!!
4.5 Emotional Stars from me!!!
Ladies make sure you have those tissues handy!!!
"Don't ever forget the power of the daisy and our love!"
Swoonnn...soooo many feels you will have when reading Just As I Am...just posting that quote above gets my emotions going again!! Wahh lol
Great job Lynn Jaxon..blown away that this was your debut book!!
4.5 Emotional Stars from me!!!
March 21, 2019
Just As I Am is the most emotional book I’ve read in a long time. I pretty much cried throughout the first third and then occasionally afterwards. I can’t imagine how anyone who has found the love of their life and/or has kids wouldn’t be a blubbering mess as they turn the pages and see grief from different perspectives.
What I love about this book is how Jaxon was able to show two very different relationships for Benson. Because I immediately fell in love with his wife Emily, I was worried I’d resent him when he inevitably moved on. I was pleasantly surprised when that didn’t happen. Marley is very different from Emily but equally loveable. And Benson never tried to turn his relationship with Marley into what he had with Emily. They both respected his past and developed their own relationship. One great example is Benson and Emily’s thing was Starbucks while Benson and Marley’s was running. Throughout the story, there are many little things like this that help the reader move on just as Benson does.
I’m very impressed by this debut author’s ability to draw out the tears. It’s not an easy task but she nailed it. If you’re looking for an emotional read that will take you from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, definitely pick this one up!
What I love about this book is how Jaxon was able to show two very different relationships for Benson. Because I immediately fell in love with his wife Emily, I was worried I’d resent him when he inevitably moved on. I was pleasantly surprised when that didn’t happen. Marley is very different from Emily but equally loveable. And Benson never tried to turn his relationship with Marley into what he had with Emily. They both respected his past and developed their own relationship. One great example is Benson and Emily’s thing was Starbucks while Benson and Marley’s was running. Throughout the story, there are many little things like this that help the reader move on just as Benson does.
I’m very impressed by this debut author’s ability to draw out the tears. It’s not an easy task but she nailed it. If you’re looking for an emotional read that will take you from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, definitely pick this one up!
March 16, 2019
I really am not much of a reviewer, but I really feel the need to share a bit. I started this book last night and read for about an hour or so and but the book down to sleep...I woke up still with the characters in my mind, so I picked the book back up to read for about an hour before getting my busy day started...my hour turned into over an hour I was 1/2 way through the book...so I got on with my day and figured I would finish the book tomorrow, well the story and characters had other ideas and any minute I had I was reading it on my phone, I never read on my phone..I don’t like too... but the book kept calling to me...so back home I went to finish the book...when I finished my thoughts were simply OMG Beautiful!!
March 12, 2019
Amazing first book by the up and coming author. Talk about rollercoaster emotions. You will laugh and cry and feel good as you follow Benson and his family through his journey. This story makes you believe in love all over again!
April 4, 2019
I don't think my words can deliver my feelings that this book deserves. Just As I Am is wonderfully written, beautiful, totally soul shattering and breathtakingly to read.
The journey which this story takes you on is nothing less than amazing.
Their were many tears shed whilst reading this book. I virtually couldn't see the words, tissue's were strewn around me, my heart shattered into tiny pieces. I was on a roller coaster ride with so many emotions sadness, angry, loss, heart broken and happiness.
I absolutely love Benson, he just so swooning, Emily and Marley and all the others characters through the book and you can't help but fall in love with them and follow their journey.
I don't think I'll ever get over this book. This book is one that will stay close to my heart forever.
Amazing book Lynn Jaxon and looking forward to reading more books in the future.
Belinda, Book Haven Book Blog.
The journey which this story takes you on is nothing less than amazing.
Their were many tears shed whilst reading this book. I virtually couldn't see the words, tissue's were strewn around me, my heart shattered into tiny pieces. I was on a roller coaster ride with so many emotions sadness, angry, loss, heart broken and happiness.
I absolutely love Benson, he just so swooning, Emily and Marley and all the others characters through the book and you can't help but fall in love with them and follow their journey.
I don't think I'll ever get over this book. This book is one that will stay close to my heart forever.
Amazing book Lynn Jaxon and looking forward to reading more books in the future.
Belinda, Book Haven Book Blog.
March 17, 2019
This is a debut novel! Yes, take that in! This is the first ever book by this author! And it totally blew me away, reducing me to a tear stained, snotty mess by Chapter 23, although that wasn't the first time I cried whilst reading this book, nor was it the last. However that was the point my partner looked at me with concern in his eyes, whilst I lay my kindle down to dry my face. I literally could not see the words in front of me.
What a heartbreakingly, beautiful read. This author reduces you to an emotional wreck and then slowly puts you back together. This truly touched me and I connected with the characters immediately. Honestly, you need to read this!
What a heartbreakingly, beautiful read. This author reduces you to an emotional wreck and then slowly puts you back together. This truly touched me and I connected with the characters immediately. Honestly, you need to read this!
March 19, 2019
I was interested in this book from the very beginning. Let me fair warn you have a huge huge box of tissues on hand. You will definitely need them. This storyline brought me to tears more than once. Put me back together then brought me to tears again. So many different emotions are felt when reading this one. I absolutely loved Benson and Em. Their love is definitely one of a kind. But then Benson and Marley have something special too. So very well written amazing characters amazing chemistry amazing storyline. Lynn has gained a fan with this book. Highly recommend reading this one. Heart wrenching yes but I promise so worth it.
April 11, 2019
Still trying to find the words for this book.
Unbelievably heart wrenching, poignantly beautiful.
For a debut novel I am completely blown away. Everything about this book will stay with me for a long time.
Benson & Marley have a long story that is filled with grief, trials, but most importantly love. I loved them.
Well done, Lynn Jaxon. I was so excited to read this and I’m so happy that it was everything I wanted and more. I look forward to even more beautiful stories from you.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Unbelievably heart wrenching, poignantly beautiful.
For a debut novel I am completely blown away. Everything about this book will stay with me for a long time.
Benson & Marley have a long story that is filled with grief, trials, but most importantly love. I loved them.
Well done, Lynn Jaxon. I was so excited to read this and I’m so happy that it was everything I wanted and more. I look forward to even more beautiful stories from you.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
March 18, 2019
This was Lynn's first book and I have to say it was FANTASTIC!!!!
A beautiful heartbreaking love story with a 2nd chance at love. Benson has been head over heels in love with Emily since they were teenagers. They get married and have 2 wonderful boys. But fate had other plans for Benson and Emily. I also thought Marly was an amazing character, that poor woman had a lot of heart break herself. It's no wonder she and Emily became fast friends.
A beautiful heartbreaking love story with a 2nd chance at love. Benson has been head over heels in love with Emily since they were teenagers. They get married and have 2 wonderful boys. But fate had other plans for Benson and Emily. I also thought Marly was an amazing character, that poor woman had a lot of heart break herself. It's no wonder she and Emily became fast friends.
February 28, 2019
For this story to be this Author first book, boy did she do good. This is a Second Chance Romance. You get all the feels in this one. To see two people come together and find a true deep down love. Super Amazing Story. I love Benson.
March 24, 2019
Wow this book was amazing Lynn Jaxon is a new author to me this is her first book I'm so looking forward to reading Lynn future books if their like this one then I know they will be amazing if you love second chance romance then you will love this one it certainly is a must read
April 10, 2019
Great book
Wow...I found out about this book from one of my author groups. I'm so glad I got to read this authors first book. It was original and once I started I couldn't put it down. It had so much heart in there. I was crying on and off throughout the whole book. Some of the time it was with sadness and grief. Other times it was with pure happiness for this amazing group of characters. I won't spoil it but suffice it to say it's one of the most heartbreaking books I've ever read but at the same time uplifting ones too. I can't wait for 's Jaxon to write more.
Wow...I found out about this book from one of my author groups. I'm so glad I got to read this authors first book. It was original and once I started I couldn't put it down. It had so much heart in there. I was crying on and off throughout the whole book. Some of the time it was with sadness and grief. Other times it was with pure happiness for this amazing group of characters. I won't spoil it but suffice it to say it's one of the most heartbreaking books I've ever read but at the same time uplifting ones too. I can't wait for 's Jaxon to write more.
April 1, 2019
This is a really wonderful, emotion-filled story of love, loss and what happens when we stop letting grief take over and we take a chance on something new. A fantastic debut from Lynn Jaxon! Be prepared for this story to induce lots of tears and strong emotions, but don't fret because there are also many light hearted and funny moments too. Jaxon does a good job of telling the story from each of the main characters points of view, starting with Benson and Emily. The start of this story is full of feels as we see the deep, passionate love between this couple. When Marley comes into the story it is easy to see the friendship and care that she has for Emily as well as her children, then later the care she shows to Benson.
Watching them all dealing with Emily's loss was definitely emotional, especially with Benson. I just wanted to wrap him up in a fierce hug and shake him all at the same time; I think this is probably how Marley and his sons felt too. I thought Jaxon hit some great notes in making her description of Benson's grief so realistic. Marley was so amazing in the tough love she showed Benson as he struggled, but it also fueled them building a relationship together. Marley is smart, strong and independent. I was surprised by her backstory, but I think it also gave her layers. We saw a bit of Benson's alpha tendencies with Em, but they really come out with Marley. I kinda loved that!
All in all this was a fantastic debut story from this author! I will definitely read more from her, and would be happy if there were more from this world. So, I'm giving this one 4.25 Stars.
Watching them all dealing with Emily's loss was definitely emotional, especially with Benson. I just wanted to wrap him up in a fierce hug and shake him all at the same time; I think this is probably how Marley and his sons felt too. I thought Jaxon hit some great notes in making her description of Benson's grief so realistic. Marley was so amazing in the tough love she showed Benson as he struggled, but it also fueled them building a relationship together. Marley is smart, strong and independent. I was surprised by her backstory, but I think it also gave her layers. We saw a bit of Benson's alpha tendencies with Em, but they really come out with Marley. I kinda loved that!
All in all this was a fantastic debut story from this author! I will definitely read more from her, and would be happy if there were more from this world. So, I'm giving this one 4.25 Stars.
April 28, 2019
A MUST READ
Loved every bit of it. What an emotional ride. Love and lost. Em, Benson and Marley, loved them all. Especially Mitch and Henry. Hope they have a story too. This is a must read!
Loved every bit of it. What an emotional ride. Love and lost. Em, Benson and Marley, loved them all. Especially Mitch and Henry. Hope they have a story too. This is a must read!
April 9, 2019
Just As I Am is the most emotional book I’ve read in a long time. I pretty much cried throughout the first third and then occasionally afterwards. I can’t imagine how anyone who has found the love of their life and/or has kids wouldn’t be a blubbering mess as they turn the pages and see grief from different perspectives.
This book shows two very different relationships for Benson. Because you immediately fell in love with his wife Emily. Marley is very different from Emily but equally loveable. And Benson never tried to turn his relationship with Marley into what he had with Emily. They both respected his past and developed their own relationship. Throughout the story, there are many little things happen that help the reader move on just as Benson does.
If you’re looking for an emotional read that will take you from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, definitely pick this one up!
This book shows two very different relationships for Benson. Because you immediately fell in love with his wife Emily. Marley is very different from Emily but equally loveable. And Benson never tried to turn his relationship with Marley into what he had with Emily. They both respected his past and developed their own relationship. Throughout the story, there are many little things happen that help the reader move on just as Benson does.
If you’re looking for an emotional read that will take you from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, definitely pick this one up!
March 24, 2019
Just as I Am is an emotion filled story of love and loss and love a second time round. Benson and Em are a sickeningly happy couple who seemingly have it all, but their love is destined to be cut short. After 25 years of marriage, Em is diagnosed with inoperable terminal cancer which quickly takes her. In the wake of Em’s death, Benson experiences depression, loss and grief. His grief is holding him down, pulling him under and he’s drowning... Not even his own kids can reach him, but the one person who never gives up on him is Marley, his former wife’s best friend. She ends up making the hole in his life left by Em’s death smaller and more manageable. It also gives him a second chance at love.
April 17, 2019
A heart breaking and beautiful story of love after loss
I'm not one for sad books. Most of the time I avoid them but I'm so glad I took a chance on this story. Benson and Emily have the perfect life. A perfect house two beautiful sons and they love each other unconditionally. But when fate takes a turn and Emily is diagnosed with a brain tumor their life is thrown through a loop. Benson is falling apart, and the only one left to help him is his wife's best friend. Marley is mourning the loss of her best friend, and trying to keep her promise to watch out for him. Soon she realizes that she wants more from him. Can they get over the guilt they feel? Highly recommend and a great story from a first time author. I look forward to what she comes up with next.
I'm not one for sad books. Most of the time I avoid them but I'm so glad I took a chance on this story. Benson and Emily have the perfect life. A perfect house two beautiful sons and they love each other unconditionally. But when fate takes a turn and Emily is diagnosed with a brain tumor their life is thrown through a loop. Benson is falling apart, and the only one left to help him is his wife's best friend. Marley is mourning the loss of her best friend, and trying to keep her promise to watch out for him. Soon she realizes that she wants more from him. Can they get over the guilt they feel? Highly recommend and a great story from a first time author. I look forward to what she comes up with next.
April 22, 2019
A sensational first novel debut!! Wonderful character's and well written. Ben and Em have been married for 25 years. The day after their anniversary she's admitted to hospital tests are done cancer. I like how Em doesn't want to burden her family,spends her time left getting them prepared for what's to come and playing match maker. I loved the book.
April 10, 2019
Phenomenal
Lynn Jaxon took me by the hand and led me into the lives of incredible characters. In reading her words I fell in love with Benson and Em., I became engrossed in their lives, joy and love. My soul was shattered. I cried along with Em, Marley, Mitch and Harry, I sobbed with Benson. As I continued the journey my broken heart was sewn back together in life, love and the belief in new beginnings. Thank you Lynn, congratulations on a mind blowing first book. I’m gonna love you forever.
Lynn Jaxon took me by the hand and led me into the lives of incredible characters. In reading her words I fell in love with Benson and Em., I became engrossed in their lives, joy and love. My soul was shattered. I cried along with Em, Marley, Mitch and Harry, I sobbed with Benson. As I continued the journey my broken heart was sewn back together in life, love and the belief in new beginnings. Thank you Lynn, congratulations on a mind blowing first book. I’m gonna love you forever.
March 16, 2019
I absolutely loved this book from this new author. It definitely doesn’t read like a first book. I loved the pace that was set from the beginning. There’s no unnecessary filler, just a fast paced story of love, loss, and finding love again.
I laughed, cried, and fell hard for Benson. Emily was such a wonderful character, and I loved that she was my age. Marley deserves all the happiness in the world. And I’m definitely hoping that we see more of Mitch and Henry in the future.
I laughed, cried, and fell hard for Benson. Emily was such a wonderful character, and I loved that she was my age. Marley deserves all the happiness in the world. And I’m definitely hoping that we see more of Mitch and Henry in the future.
April 11, 2019
As a debut book for this author, I say she as a wonderful talent for writing. I loved following the characters of this story as they try to move on after the loss of a loved one. I look forward to more wonderful stories from this author.
April 11, 2019
As a debut book for this author, I say she as a wonderful talent for writing. I loved following the characters of this story as they try to move on after the loss of a loved one. I look forward to more wonderful stories from this author.
April 23, 2019
My soul broke into a million pieces. I am emotionally drained. What a heartbreaking, gut wrenching, raw tearjerker. This one shattered my heart. Then there was light in the darkness and all the pieces of my shattered heart were slowly repaired as Benson and Marley get a second chance at love.
April 13, 2019
So good
I really enjoyed this book. I had all the feels. The journey for Ben and Marley was just so real..I am sure others have been on that journey. Love never dies but our hearts can grow to let others in. Than you !
I really enjoyed this book. I had all the feels. The journey for Ben and Marley was just so real..I am sure others have been on that journey. Love never dies but our hearts can grow to let others in. Than you !
April 14, 2019
Such an emotional and beautiful read. Have tissues near and enjoy!
April 4, 2019
Just As I Am is a pretty solid debut from Lynn Jaxon. Benson and his wife, Em, have been together since they were teenagers, when she's diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Her decline is rapid, and leaves her family crushed. Benson loses himself in the bottle after losing his wife, and it's Em's best friend, Marley, who helps him claw his way out of the darkness. From beyond the grave, Em is playing matchmaker for her beloved husband and her best friend.
I really liked use of songs throughout the book to describe what Benson was going through, how he was feeling. The fact that Marley calls him "Ben" when nobody else did was a real turning point between his life pre-Em and post-Em.
There are some clunky passages in this story, and an overuse of descriptions when it comes to things like how what they were doing, what they were eating, what they were wearing... I think in time, Jaxon will be a more polished author and the inner dialogue of the characters will be more fluid. I much rather would have SEEN how Benson deals with his grief those first few months after Em dies rather than being told that he's in therapy.
Overall, Just As I Am is a wonderful story of finding love again after a loss. The romance kind of takes both Marley and Ben by surprise, and even though he's in a bad place, she's a friend who supports him, just as he is.
I received an advanced copy and voluntarily left a review.
I really liked use of songs throughout the book to describe what Benson was going through, how he was feeling. The fact that Marley calls him "Ben" when nobody else did was a real turning point between his life pre-Em and post-Em.
There are some clunky passages in this story, and an overuse of descriptions when it comes to things like how what they were doing, what they were eating, what they were wearing... I think in time, Jaxon will be a more polished author and the inner dialogue of the characters will be more fluid. I much rather would have SEEN how Benson deals with his grief those first few months after Em dies rather than being told that he's in therapy.
Overall, Just As I Am is a wonderful story of finding love again after a loss. The romance kind of takes both Marley and Ben by surprise, and even though he's in a bad place, she's a friend who supports him, just as he is.
I received an advanced copy and voluntarily left a review.
April 21, 2019
Broken and sweet.....
The first part of this book broke me...The love Emily and Benson had was an amazing thing to witness. And just a statement of fact DUCK CANCER!! Would of said the other word but didn't want the Zon to kick out my review.
I really liked Marleys character and the end of this book. Not going to give it away.
This book was done really well, it had a heartbreaking storyline, angst **need kleenex**, hot sex scenes and just a really good story.
I recommend this book.
Thanks Jamie Nibarger Ellis
The first part of this book broke me...The love Emily and Benson had was an amazing thing to witness. And just a statement of fact DUCK CANCER!! Would of said the other word but didn't want the Zon to kick out my review.
I really liked Marleys character and the end of this book. Not going to give it away.
This book was done really well, it had a heartbreaking storyline, angst **need kleenex**, hot sex scenes and just a really good story.
I recommend this book.
Thanks Jamie Nibarger Ellis
April 12, 2019
If I could give this book more than five stars, I definitely would. This beautifully written book tells the story of how a husband goes on, after losing his one and only love. Em and Benson have just celebrated twenty-five years of marriage, when they get devasting news. Em doesn’t want chemo or radiation because she wants to enjoy what little time she has left. I won’t tell you what happens after she passes, but I will say have tissues ready. This book will take you on a roller coaster ride, but even after you read the last page, you will remember Benson. I couldn’t believe this was Lynn Jaxon’s debut novel. She did an amazing job and the editing was outstanding.
April 14, 2019
Sweet
This is a sad but sweet story of a man who loves the love of his life but finds happiness. What I really, really love about is the fact that Arkansas is mentioned several times as well as Razorbacks 😊
This is a sad but sweet story of a man who loves the love of his life but finds happiness. What I really, really love about is the fact that Arkansas is mentioned several times as well as Razorbacks 😊
April 15, 2019
Wow this book was filled with emotions! I loved that you got to fall in love with both couples but life doesn't always turn out the way you planned & truly hope that if you lose your first true love that you can find it again
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews