Married to Merlot: A Memoir With a Message of Hope

by Martha Louise

Married to Merlot is an inspirational read for anyone who is facing adversity. Through her unflinching narrative, Martha Louise pens a poignant and candid chronicle of her personal journey impacted by her Vietnam veteran spouse’s post-war stress, depression, and alcoholism. When her husband leaves her, Martha finds herself in deep grief with a desperate need for understanding. As she searches for answers, yet another tragic event ambushes her and forces her to a standstill. The author’s straightforward account illustrates her heartache as well as her determination to stay the course toward self-discovery and healing. Martha relies on her psychological background and education to weave self-help concepts and messages of hope into her storytelling. The compelling combination of the family’s perseverance and the author’s fortitude will encourage others in similar circumstances to find the strength to choose their own unique path to recovery and to a happier life.

306 pages, Paperback

Published January 19, 2019

About the author

Martha Louise had always been a writer, but she did not envision her first published book as a memoir about her life and the events that occurred while married to her Vietnam veteran husband. Her career had led her into several roles over the years: exceptional student education teacher, social worker, mental health therapist and school psychologist. She had multiple stories to tell; she had not planned to tell the story of her husband's post-war stress, depression, and alcoholism. But she knew it was a story she had to tell.

Her recognition that we all have something--multitudes of people face tragic events or encounter some type of adversity in their life situation--prompts Martha to continue to write to remind individuals they are not alone and to offer hope through shared stories. She strives to see and live life as reflected by her mother's motto, "We make the most of it."

Reviews

[Buns]

From the very beginning, Marti reins me in with her stories of life in Arkansas. At times, she is so brutally honest that I find her writing to be refreshing. She lays out her struggles page by page while attempting to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Through many of her heartbreaking stories, you may cry. Moreover, you might visualize yourself or someone you love in her words. I came away from this wonderfully written book assured that being broken is okay and even if you are lower than whale poop, you can eventually come back to the realization that eventually every will be okay.

[Tammy Horvath]

I can relate to Martha Louise and her inspirational story. I felt her pain—her heartbreak. The story was raw. Real. And too close to home. Unfortunately, we both had alcoholic fathers, which negatively influenced our life decisions. She made the same mistakes I did, trying to find love with an alcoholic. Married to Merlot is a great story and offers encouragement and hope to those who face life’s storms. Pick up a copy of this page-turner to find the strength you need as Martha Louise bares her soul. There is so much wisdom in this book.

[Barb Traylor]

Please read this book. It truly is a message of hope. Very well
written and thoughtful! I hope we see more from this author.

[Mr T]

Married to Merlot is a deep, emotional analysis of the author's relationship with a severe alcoholic. There is so much she loves about her husband, but so much more that breaks her heart. 


It is intimate, with an orchestra of emotions, expectations, devotion and disappointment. Martha shares her intense love for her husband and her deep, deep sadness that started from her wedding night when he was drunk and cut their honeymoon well short. 


This is a story of love lost to Merlot, to a man she had dreamed and wanted him to be, compared to the man he became and the destruction and spite that alcohol caused. Her inner need to be loyal, make it work and for them both to be happy, and the devastation of divorce after bearing the weight of it all for over thirty years. 


His inaccessibility caused her to crave more of what he would not, could not give and try as she might, she could never fully claim his heart, but she would have kept, and cared for him still.


The writing is intimate and poetic with beautiful prose. I love the analogy of pushing the gems up a hill on a cart, only to be pushed away after all the hard work, for another woman who was willing to hand him wine, without limit. 


This memoir provides an intimate look at the hope, guilt and pain of having a long term partner who is an alcoholic.

[Kathleen Van Lierop]

When reading the book: Married to Merlot, I immediately was impressed by
the honest writing of the author. I think it's very difficult to write down what
she had experienced.

I was directly into the memoir and I read it in one time, so I really wanted to
know what came next, the good and the bad.

I don't like flashbacks in a story, but here it was appropriate. The book cover
also was good and to the point.

That's why I want to give a 5* rating to this amazing memoir! I would
recommend this book to all who wants to know more about ptsd and
the effects of alcoholism. I think most people will think twice before they
drink another glass of wine or beer.

I would love to read more books of this wonderful author!

[Luisa Davis]

I found this a heart-wrenching memoir to read due to the descriptions of the struggling marriage. The author has to be praised for her steadfastness and resilience. As the book progresses the reader understands that her blind love at the start of the relationship blinkered her and she did not see the tell tale signs of traits that would only worsen over the years. I felt for Martha Louise as she was surely trying to keep the home fires burning and not end a marriage for the sake of the children but also she kept on believing that her husband could change. I was left wondering what was right? Did she do the right thing? Everyone is different and in the end the choice is personal. For me, a hard book, emotionally.

[Oona Sidoroff]

This memoir is a heart-wrenching story of love, marriage, family, and destruction which closes with hope and healing for the future. The complexity of the relationships is intimately related and analyzed by the author from the courtship to the tragic end of her marriage and into the healing process for her and her daughters. Alcoholism, emotional frailties, PTSD, spiritual pursuits, and family dynamics are all laid out in an honest approach. The poetry and pictures in the book and pictures further enhance the experience.

[Jim Dowell]

Amazing first book from exciting new author. Her story is so similar in many to many of ours. How she learns to deal with adversity and changing relationships. Very well written.

[Christie]

I highly recommend reading this moving book!!! It is emotional and uplifting for readers. I applaud the author for being brave enough to tell this story to help others going through heartbreaking, life changing events. It is important to read personal stories and accounts that help people to know they are not alone in their suffering. Thank you to the author for writing this and sharing this with the world! I think this book can help and give hope to many people who read it.