God-Confident Kids: Helping Your Child Find True Purpose, Passion, and Peace

by Cyndie Claypool de Neve

Today's children and teens are growing up more anxious, depressed, and fearful than previous generations. But if we help this generation, often called "Gen Z," to discover true God-confidence, instead of chasing the illusive self-confidence, we can empower them to embrace their uniqueness and find their purpose, passion, and peace as they grow into humble, compassionate, and resilient young people.

Cyndie Claypool de Neve, an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, shares her personal journey from feeling anxious and suicidal to learning God-confidence. She explains how parents and youth workers can use these principles to encourage this next generation to discover the purpose for which God created them. God-Confident Kids is filled with stories, Scripture, psychological insights, and practical tips to help families move from fear-based parenting to faith-filled parenting as we claim Ephesians 2:10 for our kids: "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Genres: Parenting, Spirituality

224 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2019

About the author

Cyndie Claypool de Neve, a former journalist with an MA in counseling psychology, is the coauthor of Unshaken, Start With Praise, and Raise Them Up. She has appeared on Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk Radio and has a growing speaking ministry. She is an associate marriage and family therapist and works as the senior director of creative and technical services at Emmanuel Faith Community Church in Escondido, California. As the former director of communications for Moms in Prayer International, she helped establish the international day of prayer, Bless Our Schools Sunday, and Scripture prayer emails sent to 14,000 people daily. She lives with her husband and their two children--plus two rambunctious rescue dogs--in Escondido, California.

Reviews

[Mischenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

If it's one thing I've learned since having children, it's that parenting isn't easy. Everything a parent says and does can affect their child's development. In God-Confident Kids, author Cyndie Claypool de Neve shares her journey to faith-filled parenting and how others can achieve success with raising confident children that trust in God.

This turned out to be really good. It was very eye-opening for me when reading statistics on how social media is affecting our children. I've seen them elsewhere now that more studies are being done, but other statistics on what children believe about the Bible and how they feel about God were shocking as well.

I resonated with the author having a son with a learning disorder because I'm in the same boat. It's horrible when a child thinks there's something wrong with them or they think they aren't good enough because they're different. It's books like this that remind us: we all have a purpose! The author doesn't talk down to readers and uses her own real-life experiences she's had with her own children to highlight their journey and then makes suggestions. She also often asks questions--I loved that.

The quick tips sections are super helpful and also the health suggestions as far as diet, sleep, and screentime. This book was a beneficial read for ME, and in my opinion, isn't just aimed at developing our children's confidence but OURS as parents too. Little reminders about what we should be doing (putting down our phones) can be helpful to any parent. With that said, I'm not sure this book would be as beneficial for non-believers as it is heavily faith-based.

Overall, I found the book insightful and inspiring. It's full of scripture and prayers, so I know I'll be referencing this one well into the future.

5****

I’d like to thank the publisher, author, and Goodreads for sharing this book in a giveaway that I recently won. This is my own, honest review of the book.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a young mom, I am always eager to learn from the wisdom and life experience of older women, and so I was curious to read and review God-Confident Kids by Cyndie Claypool de Neve, a marriage and family therapist and mom of two. Claypool de Neve discusses "faith-filled" (versus fear-based) parenting and "helping your child find true purpose, passion, and peace" in an unprecedented era of technological pervasiveness, instant news and social media, and rising rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide especially among youth. While this book seems mostly geared for parenting older children (grade school at least), I still appreciated a handful of insights and advice throughout, such as remembering "you're not your child's Holy Spirit" and not using "comparison" compliments, e.g., you're the smartest student in your class. Overall, though, I was underwhelmed. The writing is marginal; it is at times distracting (better editing could have helped) and rather redundant, especially among chapters. On a different note, the content is not particularly engaging (and, in my opinion, seems a bit unfocused, i.e., is this book about raising confident kids, or parenting courageously?), and it lacks nuance (a major caveat I would have expected to read about: the reality that many committed, dare I say "God-confident" Christians [still] struggle with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.).

Disclaimer: This book was received for free from BakerBooks, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my honest review.  Note as with all reviews and references, I do not necessarily agree with (or am even aware of) any or all of the beliefs, views, etc. of the author; please read my disclaimer here.

[Christen Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

God-Confident Kids: Helping your child find true purpose, passion and peace by Cyndie Claypool de Neve is the perfect remedy for a parent, grandparent, guardian, teacher, pastor of anyone with a heart to positively influence today’s youth.

Written by an associate marriage and family therapist, God-Confident Kids is packed with powerful, practical wisdom from a professional who encourages true God-confidence through one’s identity in Christ over the world’s false identity of self-confidence through self-help and things of the like.

God-Confident Kids is anchored in the Truth of Ephesians 2:10, which states, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The author uses Ephesians 2:10 as support of God-confidence which she defines as true confidence, humility and authenticity developed by knowing God has handcrafted each person with a unique and specific purpose. Moreover, God-confidence is having confidence that God will equip each individual with strength, courage and wisdom to utilize all of the gifts they’ve been given in order to fulfill God’s plans and purpose for their life.

God-Confident Kids tackles topics such as how to parent the diverse personality types of children in your family, how to combat people-pleasing, how to guide your children to discover their unique passions and purposes, how to develop and build confidence by each age and stage of life (my personal fave!), plus many more.

The stories shared throughout this book along with the author’s personal experiences provided practical advice and psychological insight backed by biblical Truth. I found this to be highly effective when communicating the message of obtaining confidence in God to uncover a child’s passion and purpose in order to receive an ultimate peace (Philippians 4:7). I also enjoyed the use of scripture as support throughout this entire book as well as the “quick tips” section at the end of each chapter which offered helpful, realistic, and doable suggestions to help guide your child to become God-confident.



*I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review

[Syncopated Mama · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helping your child find true purpose, passion, and peace!

This book grabbed my attention; after all, who doesn't want their kids to find true purpose, passion and peace?

I was intrigued by the title. I suspected it had something to do with self-confidence and I was hoping that the author had found a way for parents to instill positive self-feelings in our children without creating a house full of tiny narcissists in the process...

...and I was pleasantly surprised!

So much of this book is focused at deriving all of our feelings of worth and confidence from God and really directs our attentions to Him in all aspects of life, which is really what we should be doing as Christians, anyway.

For that reason alone, I think this book is great. But the text also spent quite a bit of time focused on helping our kids deal with fear and anxiety...which just happen to be two of my largest struggles in life.

This book is infused with dozens of Scripture verses that we can turn to for help. I found myself starting a list of verses to add to my "calming list" (verses that I've relied on to help get me through some of the toughest trials in my life) and I might be 80 before I've managed to memorize them all.

But that's a good problem to have, right?

Other helpful parenting topics this book touches on are: considering a child's personality type, encouraging children to discover their passions, the importance of fostering a community around your child, and how to ensure that our kids surround themselves with positive influences.

This book turned out to be so much more than I expected and I'm still processing all the notes I scribbled down while reading it!

If you're currently a Christian parent, I highly encourage you to read this book. And if you're not a parent, but happen to be a human, then I highly encourage you to read this book -- unless you happen to be laser-focused on Christ at all times and never struggle with any fear or confidence issues at all.

I received a free copy of this product from Baker Books Bloggers in exchange for writing a review. All opinions are my own.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most important goals in my life is to raise my daughter up to be a strong woman of God, who trusts in Him and lives her life in a way that pleases Him. Although she is only three years old, this goal is one that I have been working towards since her birth, and will continue throughout the rest of my life. When I had an opportunity to read and review God-Confident Kids, I knew that this was the perfect opportunity to put even more focus and effort into my daughter.

This book focused on helping children (from birth-young adult) grow into confident and productive individuals who rely on the Lord. The author talked about how to grow their confidence (without causing them to be over-confident), teaching them to please Christ instead of worrying so much about what others think about them, and how to use their passions to guide them towards their purpose.

My favorite chapter was the chapter entitled “Addressing the Fear of Terror That Defines This Generation”. Let’s face it, we live in a scary world, where our children are hearing about acts of terror and mass shootings on a daily basis. I also struggle with anxiety, and understand that emotion far too well. It was comforting to know that this is a challenge for others and it gave me ideas on how to address fear in my own life, as well as how to counsel my daughter in this area when she is older. “The best combatant to fear is prayer.” The author went on to discuss the four steps of prayer (Look up – praise, Look within – confession, Look around – thanksgiving, Look out – make requests). This model for prayer was a great example of how to combat fear through prayer.

I would recommend this book for anyone with children, or who counsel/work with children. It was thought provoking, and made me even more determined to raise up my sweet girl to be a caring and God-confident woman.

[Aminata Coote · Rating 4 out of 5]

As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children find and develop their true purpose and passion. We help them become the person God created them to be.

If we are to help our children become the best versions of themselves, we have to teach them about God so they can have a personal relationship with Him.

God-Confident Kids includes practical steps that parents can use to encourage children to know God for themselves. There is an emphasis on prayer and Bible study and learning how to be quiet in God’s presence.

A key element of this book is that each person has their purpose. While our children may have traits similar to ours, they are not us and they will need to find their way and live out their purpose.

Everyone was created on purpose for a good purpose. As parents, we need to encourage our children to run the race God has set before them. God-confidence will give us and our children the ability to be confident as we use our gifts for God.

Before we can be parents who encourage our children to live out God’s purpose in their lives, we have to be people who have acknowledged that God has a purpose for our lives. We have to embrace our God-confidence before we can show our children how to embrace theirs.

This book had a lot of valuable information for parenting our children in such a way they become the best version of themselves. I had hoped there would have been advice on parenting the strong-willed child as there was a section on parenting children who were people-pleasers.

Even without that information, this book is a good resource for teaching children how to have confidence in God. I received a review copy of God-Confident Kids as part of the Baker Books blogger review program; a positive review was not required.

[Ruth Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

The title alone was enough for me to pick up this book and read it. I am a Christian, and my daughter is 16. I am often caught in the middle between humanism (I'm also an educator) and Biblical principles, and this author has a perfect balance. I love the fact that she perpetuates the idea of "God-confidence" as opposed to "self-confidence." The world would have us believe that our kids need to believe in themselves and they can accomplish anything. However, that teaching is not in line with the Word of God teaches. Believing in yourself can only get you so far. I recognize the fact that many people in the world can accomplish great things on their own, but there's something about a Christian who relies on God when he/she comes to the end of himself/herself.

This book was a very easy read, and it is organized in a sensible way so that parents can find exactly what they are looking for. The author always brings us back to the Bible, and every good thing taught in psychology is always backed up with a Christian principle. The author also shares a wide variety of real-life examples, for which I am very gtateful. For Christian parents, I believe this is a must-read. I believe non-Christian parents could glean truth from the book, but without embracing all the truth of the Bible, it might be one that doesn't make a lot of sense.

[Danielle Hammelef · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of those "ah-hah" moments for me. For my entire life, I've been seeking confidence and approval in the wrong people--myself and others. Instead, I wish when I was a child that someone would have placed my focus on pleasing God and listening to God. This book showed me how to become God-confident through the power of prayer and scripture--through God I can do anything and endure everything.

The author provides practical advice and insight as well as personal experiences which she backs with biblical truth. I found this effective to helping me understand exactly what I needed to do, not only as a parent, but how I can teach these skills to my children. I enjoyed the use of scripture as support throughout this entire book as well as the “quick tips” section at the end of each chapter which offered helpful, realistic, and doable suggestions to help guide your child to become God-confident.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Every child...is handcrafted by the Creator for a specific purpose which He prepared in advance for them to do."

On suicide: "Who would fulfill my purpose if I took myself out of the human race?"

When we encourage others and celebrate their successes: "We stop comparing ourselves to others."

"Could the growth in anxiety and fear be directly related to this generation's lack of a relationship with God?"

On a parent's role: "God is the one directing their paths. I'm just here as the guide."

[Joel Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "God-Confident Kids," Cyndie Claypool de Neve combines Scripture, psychology, and personal narrative in order to offer beneficial instruction to parents who seek to raise their children in Christ. Claypool explores personality theory, Erik Erikson's developmental theory and other psychological ideologies and deftly combines them with Christian principles. Throughout the text, Claypool offers parents Scriptures they can specifically apply to their children along with prayers in which parents can add their children's names. These prayers will assist parents in seeking wisdom from God as they raise their children, helping them navigate anxiety, screen addiction, education, future career choices and other marks of journeying toward adulthood in our society. As a parent who desires to raise up my children in God's grace so that they might live in Christ, I found this resource encouraging and helpful. Unfortunately, I often come across one struggle when reading parenting books that use Scripture. Too often the author does not explore the context of the passage when applying that passage to the Christian life and family. I desire more depth and a deeper understanding of these Scriptures. I feel this will add to the wisdom of any such texts. This book was given to me by Baker Books blogging program.

[Travis Heystek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to any parents looking to raise their kids with purpose and confidence. Cyndie does a good job balancing her personal experiences, scripture, and numbers based research to support all the points she makes. As a youth pastor I see the negative effects of social media and technology on a regular basis in the lives of my students. I appreciate the ease of communication, ability to be connected, and ability to share pictures, but Cyndi does a great job framing proper use of technology.
Raising kids is something I have no experience with yet. We’re expecting our first child in the next 2 weeks, but I definitely plan to keep this book close. She doesn’t claim to know it all, or provide a one-size fits all solution, but provides some good guidance that is acceptable for many families. I think this book is also likely one that has a fair amount of application whether you’re Christian or not. Even though the book is about finding our purpose in Christ, it makes some string arguments about the cultural norm of developing kids with too much self-confidence. Self-confidence can lead to arrogance and a misinformed idea of what it means to have true purpose. I’d rate this book a 4 out 5 for parents. It’s not a perfect book, and not everyone will connect with it, but I do highly recommend it!

[Mary Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cyndie Claypool de Neve uses her journalistic skills to write insightfully about parenting and the “confidence crisis in a generation of hurting kids and confused parents struggling to guide them through an obstacle course of stressors unique to this generation” (Cyndie Claypool de Neve, God-Confident Kids, Helping Your Child Find True Purpose, Passion and Peace, Baker Books, 2019, p. 17). She remains true to her book’s title and has produced a very practical, wise guide to help parents develop God-confident kids of their own. Her wisdom stems from a thorough knowledge of Scriptures of promise and direction coupled with consistent application of principles from child psychology and training as a marriage and family therapist. As a parent of Gen Zers, she also speaks knowledgably about their issues of tech time, the constant fear students live in in terms of school shootings and terrorism, “the polished images they see on social media, which present images based on false reality” (p. 17) as well as empathetically about the continual dance parents must maintain in nurture, love, wisdom, accountability structures, and their own godly model of a God-confident life. 5 stars
M.L. Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 1 25 20

[Connie Saunders · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world filled with bullying, school shootings, drugs, and a constant barrage of unrealistic images from social media, it is our young people who are suffering. They are becoming depressed, anxious, and even afraid. Family therapist Cyndie Claypool de Neve believes that today's youth need to develop a confidence that comes from them knowing God personally and a belief that He has created each of them for a special purpose. In this new book she shares practical advice and professional knowledge to create a wonderful resource for parents. God-confident kids should be the goal of all Christian parents and the tips, stories, and Bible scripture found in this book are great tools to help achieve this goal.

I recommend God-Confident Kids to parents, grandparents, and anyone who works with young people.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher Baker Books but a positive review was not required and no monetary compensation was given. These are my own thoughts.

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any parent could benefit from reading this excellent book, if they are interested in parenting and helping their child. The title says it all: God-Confident Kids: Helping Your Child Find True Purpose, Passion and Peace, by Cyndie Claypool de Neve. Our children face so much - insecurity from comparison, fear for safety, etc. We ask for God's unlimited help and do not have to rely on our limited ability. This book helps give direction, and I highly recommend it.
I received this book as a result of a giveaway, and the views are my own.

[Reyna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some real-life stories are heartbreaking to me, that is why one of my goals is to read more about children and teens and to help parents to improve their relationship with them. If a person understands themselves and their unique design and purpose since they are little, and they embrace their identity in christ is less possible that they make bad decisions such as cut themselves, live licentious sexual lives, or suicide. If you are a counselor you will find it useful to find this kind of resource.

[victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books was power writing and compelling to read with also had a great tool that will help to all the parents raising and guiding their kids to being Christ-centered finding their true purpose, passion and peace giving them to develop their own confidence and be able to used the ability that God-given to all of us. I highly recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review”.

[Betsy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book right up until she promoted the Enneagram. That's a big no. She did offer some very helpful insights and many things that were helpful. And she's absolutely right about needing to rely on God and not self for who we are! Just proceed with caution and do not be caught up in the lie of the Enneagram nonsense!

[Emily Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in the giveaway! Despite my high hopes Cyndie did not disappoint. God-Confident Kids is filled with great advice that anyone who interacts with children will benefit from.

[Rissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a helpful read for parents of young kids!

[Ashley at Reading Themes · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Don't let fear of change snuff out the direction God is taking you,
your kids, and your family." p136

God-Confident Kids by Cyndie Claypool de Neve is a new Christian non-fiction book for parents. This book is not a book about dyslexia, but the author shares about her experience raising a son with dyslexia and I found it so encouraging. I have children with dyslexia and it brings a whole new dimension to parenting. This book was well written and timely discussing issues relevant to parenting today. Parents today face so many new challenges as social media plays a bigger part of our lives and in our kids' lives. It is so helpful and encouraging to read books like this one to help navigate parenting. Thank you to Baker Books for this review copy.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently got a chance to read God-Confident Kids by Cyndie Claypool de Neve. I’ve been on a journey to understand anxiety in kids, and I was hopeful when I picked out this book that it would help me better understand how to help kids move from self-reliance to reliance on God.

By taking a deep look at what Gen Z kids are facing today, Claypool de Neve sought to help the reader understand ways that we can help kids find their confidence in God instead of themselves. Claypool de Neve believes that when we can empower kids to embrace their uniqueness, then they will be able to find their true passion, purpose, and peace.

While I in theory wholeheartedly agree with the thesis behind this book, I struggled a bit. As I started reading, I was disappointed to find there was no definition for what she considers a Gen Z child. I turned to google for an answer to find the age range. And from that point on, I struggled with the premise of the book. According to the “all-knowing” google, Gen Z seems to start with kids who have grown up only knowing computers and smartphones.

While I agree that these children are facing new challenges in how they are growing, I think to leave the group of children you are talking about that broad has done a disservice. This stuck out to me mostly because technically, my five-year-old fits into the Gen Z stereotype. However, as a part of the first generation of Facebook users and social media, the way that I let (and will let) my child interact with social media is vastly different than the challenges that Claypool de Neve encountered with her own children.

Once I could take into account the fact that Claypool de Neve had written for such a small audience, I could better engage with the material in God-Confident Kids. The book was filled with practical tips and examples of how they played out in the Claypool de Neve home. Each chapter ends with a quick look back at some of the main tips/themes from the preceding pages.

It was helpful to read about how Claypool de Neve learned to turn control over her children over to God. Rather than holding things so tightly, she learned to embrace the mistakes and allow God to help direct the child as they grow.

Rather than reinforcing the culturally popular idea that we have to hover over our children, Claypool de Neve suggests we give children room to grow on their own. To embrace the mistakes made and use them as learning and growing opportunities. It wasn’t that Claypool de Neve had an entirely hands-off approach. But God-Confident Kids points out the need to trust God is directing our children and that should change the way we actively parent our kids.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.