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The Red Ribbon: A Memoir of Lightning and Rebuilding After Loss
In the summer of 1994, a lightning accident on the coast of Maine leaves Nancy Bills’s husband dead and her younger son critically hurt. In this inspiring memoir, Bills captures the shock and grief that follow this unusual and devastating loss, and shares how she and her sons find the strength to recover from it.
In the summer of 1994, a freak lightning and thunder storm explodes on the southern coast of Maine, killing Nancy Bills’s husband and critically wounding her younger son. She promises her late husband that she will write their family’s story and bind it with a red ribbon of love and courage. In language alternately tender and gritty, The Red Ribbon documents the aftermath of Bills’s husband’s death. As a wife, she grieves and attempts to rebuild her life; as a mother, she strains to be the parent her young adult sons need. Then, one year later, she is faced with more loss—this time, the father whom she adores. After his death, other deaths, some anticipated and others unpredictable, follow. Meanwhile, the impending death of her aging mother is a particular challenge; Nancy struggles to be a good daughter, and on many visits to Montana, her home state, she tries to mend their painful history. Insightful, moving, and full of intelligence and humanity, The Red Ribbon is a story of surviving the many and often devastating lightning strikes of life, and a gift of compassion and wisdom for readers who are struggling with their own losses
In the summer of 1994, a freak lightning and thunder storm explodes on the southern coast of Maine, killing Nancy Bills’s husband and critically wounding her younger son. She promises her late husband that she will write their family’s story and bind it with a red ribbon of love and courage. In language alternately tender and gritty, The Red Ribbon documents the aftermath of Bills’s husband’s death. As a wife, she grieves and attempts to rebuild her life; as a mother, she strains to be the parent her young adult sons need. Then, one year later, she is faced with more loss—this time, the father whom she adores. After his death, other deaths, some anticipated and others unpredictable, follow. Meanwhile, the impending death of her aging mother is a particular challenge; Nancy struggles to be a good daughter, and on many visits to Montana, her home state, she tries to mend their painful history. Insightful, moving, and full of intelligence and humanity, The Red Ribbon is a story of surviving the many and often devastating lightning strikes of life, and a gift of compassion and wisdom for readers who are struggling with their own losses
- GenresEssays
216 pages, Paperback
Published May 28, 2019
2 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
About the author
Nancy Freund Bills
2 books5 followersNancy Bills is currently on the faculty of the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at the University of Southern Maine, OLLI/USM, where she facilitates the fiction writing workshop. She is also a retired clinical social worker; during her twenty-year-long career, she served both as a psychiatric social worker at Concord Regional Hospital in New Hampshire and Maine Medical Center in Portland, Maine, and as a psychotherapist at Green House Group, a group private practice in Manchester, New Hampshire. “The Myth,” Chapter 19 of The Red Ribbon, received first place in the memoir/personal essay category of the 83rd Annual Writer’s Digest Writing Competition. Her memoir, fiction, and poetry have been published in Reflections, The Maine Review, The LLI Review, The Goose River Anthology, and in The 83rd Annual Writer’s Digest Writing Competition Collection. A member of the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance (MWPA), she lives in Cape Elizabeth, Maine, with her two Maine Coon cats.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 21, 2019
A beautiful quote from Alfred, Lord Tennyson starts this novel-memoir: “Tho’ much is taken, much abides…” It’s a quote that frames the story beautifully, as author Nancy Freund Bills goes through memories of lives taken away from her, and reveals so much that beautifully abides. Unlike most memoirs, this story’s not a sequential retelling of events, but rather a drawing out of character shaped by events. It’s a story that starts with the terror of sudden storms in Billings, Montana, then follows through life’s horrific storms, literal and metaphorical: first of which—most haunting of which—is the storm that kills Nancy’s husband and critically wounds her younger son.
The writing is clear, evocative, and down to earth. The characters are all too real, and the terrors all too true. And the fact is, freak accidents happen, just as tragic illnesses do; but how do real people deal with the loss of those we love? And how do our flawed relationships affect our recovery?
Author Nancy Freund Bills tells her story in well-formed essays, slipping through time between chapters in a very natural way, so the reader never feels lost in the transitions. Real lives slip through the author’s hands. And real storms terrorize the skies. A natural fear of thunder translates into background music to this beautiful book, and the red ribbon is a wonderful counterpoint to the lightning strikes of chance.
Customs, culture, regrets and promises; hopes dashed and dreams going forward; grief in all its all-encompassing shapes and sizes, all are here in a novel-memoir that is filled with compassion, strength and hope. It’s a beautiful story, terrifying, yet beautifully told, and it’s a book that I shall treasure. A powerful depiction of grief, compassion and hope.
Disclosure: I was given an ecopy and I really enjoyed it. Just wish I’d found time to read it sooner! A wonderful book.
The writing is clear, evocative, and down to earth. The characters are all too real, and the terrors all too true. And the fact is, freak accidents happen, just as tragic illnesses do; but how do real people deal with the loss of those we love? And how do our flawed relationships affect our recovery?
Author Nancy Freund Bills tells her story in well-formed essays, slipping through time between chapters in a very natural way, so the reader never feels lost in the transitions. Real lives slip through the author’s hands. And real storms terrorize the skies. A natural fear of thunder translates into background music to this beautiful book, and the red ribbon is a wonderful counterpoint to the lightning strikes of chance.
Customs, culture, regrets and promises; hopes dashed and dreams going forward; grief in all its all-encompassing shapes and sizes, all are here in a novel-memoir that is filled with compassion, strength and hope. It’s a beautiful story, terrifying, yet beautifully told, and it’s a book that I shall treasure. A powerful depiction of grief, compassion and hope.
Disclosure: I was given an ecopy and I really enjoyed it. Just wish I’d found time to read it sooner! A wonderful book.
April 24, 2019
Clear, incisive memoir about death, grief, and the power to survive, THE RED RIBBON is a tender and tragic exploration of one woman's experience.
Memoir has such power to shape and inform and this is why it's one of my very favorite genres. THE RED RIBBON opens with author Nancy Freund Bills's experience growing up in Montana--the rolling hills, the great expanse of sky, and yet, those out-of-the-blue tragic storms that swept in from the west.
And then, many years later, in 1994, Nancy, now a New Englander, is notified that her son, Teddy, and recently-separated husband, Geoff, are caught in a freak thunderstorm. They have both been hit by lightening, one survives. This staggering news shocks and makes its way throughout several newspapers, affecting locals and family alike.
But THE RED RIBBON isn't just about this horrific accident. It's about navigating the effects of grief. It's about family and culture, customs, and the past. Nancy not only loses her husband, but also her father, later her mother, and mother-in-law. She goes through a series of relationships, and struggles to find meaning in this seemingly senseless act--that is a true rare occurrence.
The writing is pellucid, uplifting, and healing. Many of the chapters are short, and gorgeously written, could stand alone (and some have--as award-winning essays in literary journals). Bills weaves that red ribbon throughout them all, tying together heartfelt reflection on bereavement, and also coming through on the other side.
As a reader, I was electrified by the sheer force of such a rare event, but wanted even more about the author's failing marriage--what exactly led to their discord and how exactly did she feel about that after Geoff died. [This was touched on briefly when she indicated her therapist referred to her grief as 'complicated.']. I also would have liked to have known more about her son, Teddy, who survived. In that sense, THE RED RIBBON is more a reflection grief than it is about the lightening accident.
Still, a fabulously written memoir with many lessons and kernels of wisdom.
I found similarities between THE RED RIBBON and MEMORIES IN DRAGONFLIES (Lannette Cornell Bloom) and maybe a touch of TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE (Mitch Albom).
For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see: www.leslielindsay.com|Always with a Book
Special thanks to Caitlin Hamilton Publicity for this review copy. All thoughts are my own.
Memoir has such power to shape and inform and this is why it's one of my very favorite genres. THE RED RIBBON opens with author Nancy Freund Bills's experience growing up in Montana--the rolling hills, the great expanse of sky, and yet, those out-of-the-blue tragic storms that swept in from the west.
And then, many years later, in 1994, Nancy, now a New Englander, is notified that her son, Teddy, and recently-separated husband, Geoff, are caught in a freak thunderstorm. They have both been hit by lightening, one survives. This staggering news shocks and makes its way throughout several newspapers, affecting locals and family alike.
But THE RED RIBBON isn't just about this horrific accident. It's about navigating the effects of grief. It's about family and culture, customs, and the past. Nancy not only loses her husband, but also her father, later her mother, and mother-in-law. She goes through a series of relationships, and struggles to find meaning in this seemingly senseless act--that is a true rare occurrence.
The writing is pellucid, uplifting, and healing. Many of the chapters are short, and gorgeously written, could stand alone (and some have--as award-winning essays in literary journals). Bills weaves that red ribbon throughout them all, tying together heartfelt reflection on bereavement, and also coming through on the other side.
As a reader, I was electrified by the sheer force of such a rare event, but wanted even more about the author's failing marriage--what exactly led to their discord and how exactly did she feel about that after Geoff died. [This was touched on briefly when she indicated her therapist referred to her grief as 'complicated.']. I also would have liked to have known more about her son, Teddy, who survived. In that sense, THE RED RIBBON is more a reflection grief than it is about the lightening accident.
Still, a fabulously written memoir with many lessons and kernels of wisdom.
I found similarities between THE RED RIBBON and MEMORIES IN DRAGONFLIES (Lannette Cornell Bloom) and maybe a touch of TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE (Mitch Albom).
For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see: www.leslielindsay.com|Always with a Book
Special thanks to Caitlin Hamilton Publicity for this review copy. All thoughts are my own.
February 2, 2021
In August 2019 my home was struck by lightning, causing substantial damage. I used to love storms and watched them with no fear. Now I endure them with trepidation. When I saw The Red Ribbon: A Memoir of Lightning and Rebuilding After Loss by Nancy Freund Bills, I had an instant connection, albeit on a different level.
Nancy Bills' life was altered when both her husband and son were struck by lightning in July 1994. Her son survived, but her husband did not. Grief affects people differently and Bills describes her methods of coping. She visited the site, moved several times, explored new relationships, and experienced more loss. She also wrote about her grief path, which she eventually compiled into a memoir.
Bills lost her parents, extended relatives, and companions in quick succession. Grief threatened to consume her existence if she didn't channel it or harness its energy, much like the lightning that struck her family. I liked how she wove parts of her history within the present to create a cohesive flow. I appreciated the chapters that dealt with her relationship with her aging mother and the difficulties of living halfway across the country. I did find a macabre streak of humor with the author's description of her mother-in-law's urn rolling around in her back seat. I also commiserated with her struggle to let go and move on with her life.
The one angle that I feel could have added context and depth to the book would have been to briefly address the cleavage in her marriage since she was separated from her husband when he died. While that wasn't the the focus of her memoir, its omission does leave a void since she discussed how they met and portions of their life together.
Bills' loss to such a freakish occurrence allows readers to ruminate on the perfidy of life. I saw the lightning flash across my living room and realized how easily it could have hit me. Staring death in the face is a surreal occurrence, but coping with the aftermath of loss for those who are left behind is a subject Bills grapples with, with erudition and grace.
Story Circle Book Reviews thanks Janilyn Kocher for this review.
Nancy Bills' life was altered when both her husband and son were struck by lightning in July 1994. Her son survived, but her husband did not. Grief affects people differently and Bills describes her methods of coping. She visited the site, moved several times, explored new relationships, and experienced more loss. She also wrote about her grief path, which she eventually compiled into a memoir.
Bills lost her parents, extended relatives, and companions in quick succession. Grief threatened to consume her existence if she didn't channel it or harness its energy, much like the lightning that struck her family. I liked how she wove parts of her history within the present to create a cohesive flow. I appreciated the chapters that dealt with her relationship with her aging mother and the difficulties of living halfway across the country. I did find a macabre streak of humor with the author's description of her mother-in-law's urn rolling around in her back seat. I also commiserated with her struggle to let go and move on with her life.
The one angle that I feel could have added context and depth to the book would have been to briefly address the cleavage in her marriage since she was separated from her husband when he died. While that wasn't the the focus of her memoir, its omission does leave a void since she discussed how they met and portions of their life together.
Bills' loss to such a freakish occurrence allows readers to ruminate on the perfidy of life. I saw the lightning flash across my living room and realized how easily it could have hit me. Staring death in the face is a surreal occurrence, but coping with the aftermath of loss for those who are left behind is a subject Bills grapples with, with erudition and grace.
Story Circle Book Reviews thanks Janilyn Kocher for this review.
March 4, 2019
Nancy Freund Bills wrote "The Red Ribbon" as a tribute to her late husband. Through a series of essays, she tells the story of a lightning accident that claimed his life and injured her son in the summer of 1994. The book also describes the grief she felt about her husband's death and how she copes with the deaths of other loved ones, including her parents, in future years.
I enjoyed the author's honesty. She's fairly candid about her feelings as she copes with grief and adjusts to life after her husband's death. The chapters are a bit disjointed, though, since each one is an essay that's capable of standing on its own. In several places, I felt confused about the timeline and felt like I had whiplash as she swings back and forth between the present time and years in the past.
If you're looking for a traditional memoir that tells the author's story chronologically, this book isn't for you. However, "The Red Ribbon" can help readers navigate grief and remember that they are not alone as they mourn loved ones and face regrets. For this reason, I would give this book 3.5 stars.
I enjoyed the author's honesty. She's fairly candid about her feelings as she copes with grief and adjusts to life after her husband's death. The chapters are a bit disjointed, though, since each one is an essay that's capable of standing on its own. In several places, I felt confused about the timeline and felt like I had whiplash as she swings back and forth between the present time and years in the past.
If you're looking for a traditional memoir that tells the author's story chronologically, this book isn't for you. However, "The Red Ribbon" can help readers navigate grief and remember that they are not alone as they mourn loved ones and face regrets. For this reason, I would give this book 3.5 stars.
May 16, 2019
Using a lightening strike which killed her ex-husband and severely injured her son as a metaphor for facing the sudden, devastating losses in our lives, Nancy Bills has woven a poignant tale of loss and healing which hits a universal chord.
Her tender, raw and searingly honest voice draws the reader into her experience as she works her way through her grief and heartache. She then takes the lessons learned from this loss to find her way through other losses that arise in her life. It is in this years-long struggle that she finds meaning and peace in her own life. Those of us suffering losses will identify with her .The transformation she eventually experiences gives us all hope that healing after loss is possible.
This memoir shows us in graphic detail the depth of pain involved in the grieving process and the courage it takes to get on the other side of it. I highly recommend it as a good read and a compassionate guide for dealing with grief.
Her tender, raw and searingly honest voice draws the reader into her experience as she works her way through her grief and heartache. She then takes the lessons learned from this loss to find her way through other losses that arise in her life. It is in this years-long struggle that she finds meaning and peace in her own life. Those of us suffering losses will identify with her .The transformation she eventually experiences gives us all hope that healing after loss is possible.
This memoir shows us in graphic detail the depth of pain involved in the grieving process and the courage it takes to get on the other side of it. I highly recommend it as a good read and a compassionate guide for dealing with grief.
January 15, 2020
The unthinkable at its height happens to Nancy Bills. She learns in the middle of one dread inspiring night that her husband and one of her sons have both been struck by lightning.
How Bills weaves the past into the present and conveys the adrenalin and shock of that night in both herself and her other, healthy son remains a credit to her as a writer.
She speaks openly about her darkest times and demonstrates how through her choices as a therapist, through reaching out for her own therapy and through a family she is determined to keep together, she triumphs.
How Bills weaves the past into the present and conveys the adrenalin and shock of that night in both herself and her other, healthy son remains a credit to her as a writer.
She speaks openly about her darkest times and demonstrates how through her choices as a therapist, through reaching out for her own therapy and through a family she is determined to keep together, she triumphs.
December 30, 2019
Living with unpredictable and seemingly impossible loss: a true tale well told.
July 7, 2021
Interesting and insightful story of a family rebuilding after a tragic lightning strike.
July 9, 2024
Difficult but worth it
A journey through one woman's loss and darkness. The Red Ribbon is sincere and powerful, but nevertheless hopeful. Utterly without artifice.
A journey through one woman's loss and darkness. The Red Ribbon is sincere and powerful, but nevertheless hopeful. Utterly without artifice.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews