Beyond Messy Relationships: Divine Invitations to Your Authentic Self

by Judy K. Herman LPC-MHSP

Beyond Messy Divine Invitations to Your Authentic Self . . .  is not only an intense and dramatic memoir.  It is a mixture of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration. Judy K. Herman brings hope through her formula of breathing in fresh A.I.R. The acronym for  A wareness,  I ntentionality, and  R isks of growth.   Beyond Messy Relationships  helps you learn to  forgive and remember.  You'll see that relationships are mirrors to your soul. They show us our blind spots giving us the ability to courageously grow and grow up. Emotions are valuable messengers designed to move and flow.  Topics you'll discover include the messes   You'll learn to identify your own relationship dances (patterns) outlined in  Beyond Messy Relationships . More importantly, you'll be able to co-create a different dance for a more resilient and growing relationship.  Since the book was released in September of 2019, there is now a different epilogue that became catalysts for more resources.  To find out more about the story  Beyond Messy Relationships  get Judy's second book,  Relationships With Purpose  and tune into her podcast  Better Relationships, Better Life.  The books and podcast are great supplements to your own therapy if you are receiving psychotherapy. Both are also great book club discussions. Ask for the resource "Questions to Ponder."   Judy has a growing youtube channel with teaching videos and interviews to help you with gain relationship strategies, tips and tools. 

Genres: Relationships

252 pages, Paperback

Published September 10, 2019

Reviews

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the most wonderful highs and lows in our lives come from our relationships. Circumstances, betrayal, and stress invite those messy lows. Those lows have the ability to spark love, growth, and further intimacy if we would look at them as opportunities instead of insurmountable changes. Judy Herman invites readers to adopt her acronym, moved through during the book, of AIR; that is, being Aware of our patterns, Intentional of growth, and Riskier in how we relate to one another. These actions will shift our dance with our loved ones into a safer, more rewarding experience. She invites readers to live this truth as she has done by pouring her mind and heart into this book. Her mind delivers psychoeducation backed by research and her work as a mental health clinician, and her heart pours across the pages in the form of her courageous sharing of her hopes, fears, shame, struggles, and joy in her personal story. Judy is the little girl who lost her father, the young woman who struggling with the 'shoulds' and secrets and her shame from them, the mother who adores her children, the wife who loves her husband even as the marriage disintegrates, the adult student who molded her dreams and love of helping others into a counseling practice, and the counselor who is also a wife supporting others in her office at the same time she is helping her beloved through a crisis. Judy writes with a la Brené Brown vulnerability, conviction, and dignity as she recounts her life following excellent mental health and relationship information to open each chapter. Her writing is compelling, intriguing, and relatable. Those who are seeking deeper intimacy and meaning in relationships and relinquishment of the shame of past mistakes via self-compassion will enjoy and appreciate Judy's book.

[Angela Yeager · Rating 4 out of 5]

I resonated with the author’s upbringing and really appreciated her honestly! Great read!

[Anne Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally, someone who doesn't sugarcoat the hard things some people have to face. Once I picked this book up, I could not stop reading. Herman doesn't tell you a story she invites you into her life where you get a close-up view of some of the struggles marriage can have. It is authentic, and yet, her voice calmly takes you through her life. This book is an invitation for you to not only consider what your relationship is like, but to ask yourself hard questions. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has wondered why their marriage is sometimes hard. I'm so glad I read it. -Author of Broken

[Shani Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked the author's honesty and sincerity in writing about her life experiences. That must've been hard to do considering she has a clinical practice and may not want to expose all of her secrets. But I appreciated her authentic approach and really learned a lot from her experience. I believe this is the first time I've read an account like this, where a therapist shared the intricacies and struggles of her own relationships. I felt myself being in her shoes and learned how difficult it is to navigate a relationship with someone who is experiencing a different reality. I commend the author's patience, love and dedication towards her spouse and their continuing dance together. Very interesting read and very well-written book!

[Ashley Havard]

If you have any messy relationships (which most of us do) you should ABSOLUTELY read this book. This book is like non other I have read before! The author truly bears her soul. I feel like I got to go behind the scenes in the life of a therapist. I’ve gained perspective and knowledge through her story. Great read. This is one of those you want to come back to and read again, look at your notes and things you’ve highlighted. I’m inspired by your bravery, Judy!

[Cherlyn Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

While reading “Beyond Messy Relationships” I thought of my own journey and difficult choices along the way. This book will give you courage and inspire you to live your authentic life. It will help you recognize your “dances” in relationship. This is not a victim/blame type of book. Instead, the author’s experiences and expertise gives grace to us all in our struggles. I recommend it as a small group book study. It’s message will change you from the inside out.

[Doris Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Judy invites the reader into the most personal and vulnerable places of her marriage relationship so others can experience the freedom of moving beyond their own messy relationships. This book is a beautiful blend of memoir and professional guidance. It is a book that brings hope. It is a book that dares to illuminate the darkest of places. This is a dance of restoration through the divine invitation to your authentic self.

[Karen A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good Insights

Really appreciated the sharing of her story and valuable insights. But I would have liked it better if she would have told the rest of the story and how as a therapist she handled the difficulties of life.

[Alice · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lovely true tale of forgiveness and redemption, mixed with counseling jargon and biblical references that -- depending on your life experience -- can further enlighten or give some cultural context to this life story.