Imagine you and some of your friends are getting together to play a game of basketball. As everyone is warming up and getting practice to play their best game, one of your friends, Eric, suddenly proclaims, “You know what? It’s really not important that we play basketball at all.” So he sits out.
But he’s not content to just not play basketball. Instead he has to talk about the wisdom inherent in not playing basketball and the various ways in which this is the wise and prudent approach. He acts like this is some kind of new and enlightened perspective on the world of sport. But in reality, Eric is really just irritating.
Interesting premise in this book, which is basically one long interview. It’s spotty and inconsistent. Sometimes the messages about acceptance and finding the answers within are insightful and inspiring. However, there is a fine line between acceptance of what is and defeatism. Aggressive and provocative in tone, the tone slowly became disappointing and banal.
Example:
“What does it matter if I am loved or not? When I am on my deathbed and someone is holding my hand and repeating “I love you,” what can that bring to me? It is pure fantasy. That person loves me until the moment she sees another dog and becomes infatuated with him. Nothing more. That love, she can keep. It has no substance.”
I’m sure the speaker wants to be provocative, but in this lens anyway, it feels like an overreaction and overshoots the issue. In fact, in multiple examples throughout the book when regarding love and intimate relationships, he shows a massive blind spot where he professes to understand something he clearly does not. So it’s frustrating to listen to someone fiercely ignorant of one issue and then have to try take their pronouncements seriously in the next.
For example, the messages about simplicity, the acceptance of what is and of non-attachment, of dropping the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”. Letting go of the story. Accepting things as they are instead of getting so invested in what emotions, people or events are supposed to mean for us. Letting the moon be free, not projecting meanings onto things. Also particularly meaningful was the story about the man imprisoned in Lebanon who was able to drop the narrative around the psychological pain of his imprisonment- wow. Hard to fathom, and I suspect it’s an exaggeration, but that’s only because I have enough maturity and life behind me to be a little suspicious of the claim.
“The true fast is the fast of the heart. Stop begging, demanding, requesting anything whatsoever. Stop wanting to be considered, to be treated in any special way. Do not ask for anything. And above all, stop imagining that you are being attacked or assaulted by a situation.” Good, right? And then “My body can be raped and I will not feel molested.” Huh? I’m just trying to illustrate some of the weird leaps he uses to get your attention that don’t work well.
Or “your health depends on your genes. You can’t help it. You are sentenced to be weak or strong your whole life. You must accept that.” Okay dude.
There are moments when he comes across as evolved, then in the next sentence he seems condescending. He’ll acknowledge the limitations of language and then butcher a meaningful pathway to understanding by expressing a limited perspective that comes across as angry and fairly black and white in thinking. It’s quite a dichotomy. Makes me wonder whether he’s spent any time around more evolved souls, and says what he thinks most people are thinking. Like the faux certainty of a Baptist preacher.
So in the end, there are plenty of insights here, but reader beware, and hold on to your own sense of knowing of what is true and meaningful.