Saying Goodbye To Daddy

by Judith Vigna

Frightened, lonely, and angry after her father is killed in a car accident, Clare is helped through the grieving process by her mother and grandfather

Genres: Picture Books, Death, Grief

32 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1991

Reviews

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”’سيزول الوجع‘ وعدها الجد قائلًا، ’لن يلازمنا الحزن إلى الأبد‘.“

كتاب عن طفلة تحاول فهم ما الذي يعنيه أن والدها قد توفي في حادث سيارة، أين ذهب؟ متى سيعود؟ هل أحتفظ بالطعام من أجله كي لا يجوع؟ ألن يشعر بالبرد هناك؟ وماذا يعني أن اودعه؟ كيف أفعل! تسأل الطفلة وتجيبها والدتها بصراحة بدت لي قاسية أحيانًا؛ كأن تخبرها بتفاصيل الحادث وكيفية موت والدها! ألا يكفي أن تقول "توفي بحادث سيارة" دون استرسال؟ بعض أجوبة الأم بدت حادة النبرة ولا أعتقد أن الكاتبة قصدت أن الوالدة في حالة غير مستقرة نفسيًا، بل بدت وكأنها مقتنعة بأن هذه هي الاجوبة المثالية، أحببت الهدف خلف كل إجابة، لكنني أرى أن عليها أن تكون ألطف كنبرة وأخف وأبسط كمعلومة.

الكتاب يأخذنا برحلة منذ وفاة والدها إلى حين أخذت خطوتها الأولى في تقبُّل الموضوع، تناولت الكاتبة الموضوع بالرهافة والحساسية المطلوبة، والرسومات كانت عذبة جدًا. وأما ما إذا كان هذا الكتاب يناسب الأطفال، فأعتقد أنه بالمجمل يفعل، لكن بعض الحوارات — كما قلت سابقًا — ليست ذات وقعٍ لطيف عليهم.

علاقة الأباء-الأبناء (حتى إن ماكان يربطهم دم) موضوع حساس جدًا بالنسبة لي، وأكثر شي ممكن يبكيني في أي نوع من الميديا سواءً دموع فرح أو وجع، وهذا الكتاب ماقصر بالنوع الثاني…

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve meant to write a review about this book for a very long time but, sadly, never had the time so I hope to make up for that now. But perhaps it was for the best because, in retrospect, this book was even more valuable than I thought it was when I first found it.

My husband died suddenly when our daughter was less than three years old and I was feeling my way around helping us best deal with our grief. While I had dealt intimately with the deaths of several friends after long-term illnesses, I had never before lost a spouse or dealt with the grief of a young child. I searched extensively for a book that dealt (at least broadly) with our situation while not coming across as a simple lesson plan or a bit sanctimonious with platitudes.

“Saying Goodbye to Daddy” was perfect for us. The story encompasses a lot of the issues we went through, from telling her about her father’s death to dealing with funeral choices. The book is elegantly understated yet bravely addresses what are very hard situations to live through, and does it with beautiful and touching illustrations. There is a very poignant scene where the mother brings the father’s wallet to the daughter and they go through it together, discussing the picture of the daughter, and an item from an event the daughter and her father shared together that were found in it. This opened the door for me to do the same with my daughter and her father’s wallet.

I’ve seen some reviewers recommend this book for children of kindergarten age and older but it was just as pertinent when my daughter was three. Although I tentatively read it to her one afternoon to see how she responded to it, it was her selection to read before bed every night for months. It was almost like she was fitting the pieces of her emotions into the context of the book’s topics. She gradually stopped selecting it but would revisit it frequently over the next couple of years.

If you’re in a similar circumstance and have sought out this book because of that (and, if so, my heartfelt condolences), I can honestly say you can’t go wrong with this book. It’s a gem and I’ll always have a warm spot for it in my heart and memories.

[Serena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tears are in my eyes as I type this review. This book is profoundly sad and touching as it deals with a topic too many young children experience firsthand-the death of a parent. My husband lost his father in a motorcycle accident when he was a child, so the circumstances in this book made me think of him.
In this book, young Clare discovers her father has died in a car accident when her mother picks her up early from school one day, and her mother and Grandfather help her navigate the emotions and experiences of handling grief.
This book would be appropriate for any child who is experiencing loss, either in their own family or in their friend group. In the elementary setting, this book would be a helpful tool in the event of a classmate undergoing grief, or even as a tool to navigate a loss within a school community. While no one ever wishes to need such books, it is good authors like Judith Vigna have written them to assist the grieving process.

[Gabriella · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and the message it brings to the table, death is such a scary and sad thing and I do not think parents/adults know quite how to talk about it. Judith Vigna did a great job with this book and the illustrations helped to bring the story to life; Clare is angry and sad when her father dies but she also does not really know what death is and I think a lot of children struggle with understanding what death is. This book I think can help explain to children the meaning of death but also that it is okay to not be okay, there is no perfect way in handling a death especially death of a parent. This book could help a child who has maybe lost someone important in their life, or even just give children a better understanding of what death itself is.

[Stay Fetters · Rating 3 out of 5]

" Dying was when petals fell from flowers, leaves fell from trees. When Claire fell and cut her chin, she didn't die."

Saying Goodbye to Daddy teaches kids about the death of a parent in a very interesting and 90's way. I know I shouldn't laugh at this book, but I did. The scenarios in the story were over the top and I couldn't stop myself.

As a learning tool, you won't find much here except awkwardness and hilarity. Trust me, there are better books out there to explain death besides "his/her body doesn't work anymore".

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would be a good book to use to explain death to a preschool age child especially if the child has lost a parent. I like how the mom in the story gives her daughter choices. Does she want to go to the funeral, or stay home with her aunt? Also, grandpa comes and stays for awhile to help out. The illustrations are lovely and go perfectly with the story.

[Madison Wyeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book pushed through my expectations, and the tears were completely worth the tale. The perfect book to help any parent and child dealing with loss. The tone is set by the neutral illustrations allowing the emotions to properly portray loss. This realistic story can easily assist children in learning how to cope with loss.

[Citlalli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book does a good job of explaining to children the concept of death. It explains a real issue that most children do not understand. This book is about a young girl who lost her father and is learning to cope with it.

[Becca Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important story for kids to relate to. It did a good job of introducing loss and going through the grieving processes for kids. It also clarified some important questions kids might have about death.

[Madison Hays · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is a children's story that brings up the topic of losing a parent. Clare is a young girl who got the news of her fathers death one day. She struggles to understand what "death" means and why she feels so angry at the world. Even though losing a parent is hard, Clare has a great support system to help her through.

The illustrations in this book are watercolor, giving the pictures an abstract feel to them. The colors are not very bright, which sets the tone of the story. Light pastels and grays are used throughout the book. The text is seen on one side of the page and the illustration that corresponds with it is on the other side. The illustrators do a wonderful job at portraying the emotion in the characters faces. Clare is given a confused, hurt look. Meanwhile, the mother looks tired and worn out.

This story deals with a very heavy subject and it shows the struggle of young Clare trying to cope. It is very realistic, showing the pain and the hurt you can feel when you lose a person. However, positive scenes are placed throughout the story to lighten it up. Children can read this story and realize they are not alone and other children have lost their daddy's and mommy's as well. It could help them learn to cope and learn to understand death and what it means. This story deals with the social issue of death and how hard it is for a child to understand it. I recommend this story because of its realistic features and the lesson that you learn from it.

[Katie Hanrahan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Experience death through a child's eyes in Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna. Clare was a young girl when her father died in a car crash. She, her mother, and her grandfather must learn to cope with the loss while Clare must also begin to understand death.

This book obviously deals with a critical issue in society: death of a parent or loved one. Typically, children do not understand death and are deeply frustrated by it. Clare shows this in her confusion about how death works. She also blames herself for her father's death momentarily. This book would be a great tool for adults to begin a discussion about death with children and help develop their understanding of it. It would also greatly help a child to cope with their own loss, by elucidating their feelings.

This story is told in a flashback with a somewhat circular plot. It begins and ends with Clare staring at her lake house that her dad made her. The illustrations are more cartoon-like to allow readers to detach somewhat from the characters. This is important so as to not overwhelm children with emotions during reading. With this being said, the illustrations have symmetrical interaction with the words, telling the same story in different ways. There are a lot of blues, reds, and greens in the pictures. The red most likely symbolizes Clare's anger that her father has died. The blue represents the sadness of the family. The green represents the tranquility of death. Though this book touches on serious issues, it is a great way to introduce a heavy topic to young kids.

[Bianca Arias · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is a children's story that brings up the heart feeling topic of losing a parent at a young age. The young character Clare, unexpectedly received the news of losing her father one day. There was an almost immediate struggle to understand what the word "death" meant to her. Throughout the book she is portrayed to have anger towards all because of this experience. Though losing a parent, whether mother or father is difficult, the young girl Clare had a tremendously effective support system to help her cope with the death.

The abstract illustrations using watercolor was the perfect touch to give to this emotional filled book. The colors that were used are not very bright and this sets the tone of the story. However, there were light pastels used such as gray and light blue. The text is seen on one side of the page and the illustration that corresponds with it is on the other side. The illustrators do a wonderful job at portraying the emotion in the characters faces.

The topic of this story is a tough one to describe and is surely difficult for anyone to every imagine handling. This book goes over the very realistic events that children and other families go through everyday. This story allows the reader to understand the pain and sheds a light on those who haven't gone through this experience to appreciate fathers/mothers that they do fortunately have in their lives. I would recommend this story because of its various realistic features and the lesson that you learn from it.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is a children's book about social conflicts. This specific book is about premature death and how children handle it. I think that this book is extremely sad and I am not sure how many children would actually want to read it but I do think that this subject is one that is not looked into often enough. This topic happens in the real world and more often than not children are not prepared. This book can help them be more prepared.

The pictures in this book follow the mood of the story. The colors are all basic and the illustrator uses a lot of blues which helps the reader feel the sadness and the pain. I think that this book is a little bit intense for a younger audience though. The text and the images work very well together. The fact that the mother and grandfather help the little girl get through her fathers passing is amazing.

I think that this story helped children understand a very difficult topic. I think that the author did a good job putting this situation into perspective and putting the tough situation into words that young children will understand. I'm not sure what age this is appropriate for, but I would recommend this book to an adult that is trying to help a young child get through a tragedy such as the loss of a family member or friend.

[Jenna Dillon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summary: Frightened, lonely, and angry after her father is killed in a car accident, Clare is helped through the grieving process by her mother and grandfather.
Genre: realistic fiction
Reading Level: This book is for fluent readers because it has multiple paragraphs on each page, and it has complex sentences, and irregular, difficult words such as: magnificent, kindergarten, and aluminum.
Topic: death, loss of a loved one, grief
Curriculum Uses: I would use this for independent reading or a guided reading activity. I would also use this book to support a lesson about either the life cycle or dealing with death.
Literary elements: The author establishes a serious tone toward death and presents the theme of dealing with deal through thoughts and conversations of the main character. The author also uses exposition, and the conflicts of man vs. nature and man vs. self are present.
Social issues: This book deals with depression and grief.
Illustrations and Text: The illustrations match the text by depicting the main character, a small girl dealing with her father’s death and taking part in the funeral and such events. The pictures are somewhat dull and depressing, which coincides with the serious tone of the book.

[Bonnieyayaleyyy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saying goodbye to daddy talks about When Clare's daddy dies in a car accident, Clare experiences a whole range of emotions without even being sure of just what "dying" means. She is afraid when her mother cries, worried that something will also happen to her mother and grandfather, lonely for her father, and angry because Daddy didn't tell her goodbye. Unlike many books on the theme for children this age, which usually deal with the death of a pet, Vigna's candid, tender portrayal of the death of a parent is both more effective and more useful. Her soft watercolor paintings edged with black lines show a spectrum of emotion with a gentleness and precision hard to match. Like her other books on complex subjects, this showcases her realistic, reassuring tone and sense of detail. Through a third-person narration, readers learn of Clare's emotions after her father dies in a car accident. What she experiences are universal stages of grief, all explored realistically. Her grandfather is a strong, sensitive character who knows how to redirect her actions. He tries to answer her questions; when he cannot, he provides her with avenues of thought he subject is addressed in a straightforward, accurate manner, and the book will suit those who need to explain the death of a parent.

[Madison Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

The day that Clare’s dad passed away was wrong. She left school too early, it wasn’t Momma who picked her up and everyone was sad. When Clare's daddy dies in a car accident, Clare experiences a whole range of emotions without even being sure of just what "dying" means. She is afraid when her mother cries, worried that something will also happen to her mother and grandfather, lonely for her father, and angry because Daddy didn't tell her goodbye. In this book her mother, grandmother and grandfather show her that the best way to remember someone who is gone, is to remember the good times, the silly times and the best times because thats how we should remember people, by who they were not what they are (dead).

There are many issues arisen in this book including death of a family member of a student, where they go, how to readjust and remember them in a positive way, understanding the process and keeping happy positive thoughts. I find this book very useful for the classroom if you have a child in this situation, use this as a teaching tool for the other students to have a relation as well. The soft pictures in this book give it a very touching appeal and a gentle overall appeal for this kids who crack the binding on this tearful piece.

[Victoria Hawkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the book Saying Goodbye To Daddy by Judith Vigna expresses the love a little girl had for her dad. There was a car accident that took a precious life away. A mother had to explain to a little girl named Clare that her father had passed away. Clare did not understand what death meant at first, then her mother tried to explain when her hamster died and she buried it in the backyard. Clare kept asking, "where is daddy now?" The mother explained that he will be put in a casket in his nicest suit and asked if she wanted to go with to say goodbye. The little girl declined the invite. After the funeral Clare was having a hard time accepting that her father was gone forever. Her mother took out her fathers wallet and gave some things in there for her to keep forever.
The critical issues that were used in this children's book are death of a close family member, Religion, due to when the girl asked where does dead people go. This book can help teach about death to young children. This book may also help a child cope with the death of a close family member. The book has graphics with pastel colors that have realistic images.

[Clarissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is a heartfelt story about one girls journey through a difficult time. Clair loves her parents and her miniature model cabin made by her father. But one day neither of her parent's come to pick her up from school and Clair doesn't understand why. Suddenly her world is turned upside down and Clair is unsure of how to feel. No matter what anyone says she does not understand what happened to her father. Vigna addresses a very serious issue that can be difficult for children to understand, in her story she uses words to try to bring meaning to an event that cannot be explained away very easily. At times the story must be told in pictures because there is not explanation to give Clair and at other times her words are heartfelt to show Clair's healing. The pictures are life like to show the realness of the scenario but colorful to make them accessible to children. There is no extravagant artwork or color usage, the most important part of the book is the issue being addressed and the illustration are not meant to take away from that.

[Melanie Abril · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book follows the life of a little girl named Clare in the days after the death of her father. Throughout the story, her mother and grandfather explain as best they can the situation and that they will all always be able to remember him. It shows the frustration and sorrow that often follows after the death of a loved one but not to the point that children would be negatively affected. The story closes with Clare fixing the toy that her father built her, similar to a doll-house, with her grandfather. Whenever she’s said she just has to turn on the lights and remember him.

Explaining subjects like this to kids is never easy, this book is well-written and covers the idea of remembering loved ones while not stepping over any religious or cultural lines. The illustrations are realistic but also water-color like, creating a soft feeling and tone in the book. It is genuine and realistic and good for kids five and up.

[Grant Cooper]

This gives the story of a little girl, whose father dies. The girl is at a very young age and it is hard for her to fully comprehend the concept of death and grievance process. Claire gets frustrated with dealing with acceptance of her father's passing. With the help of her family, she receives the support that is needed to learn to move past death through the eyes of a child.

This book can help children who are experiencing similar social issues alike. It gives insight on explaining death and accepting it in an aspect that is light and appropriate for young age. The social issues touched in this book are more serious, but some that everyone will deal with one day. I don't necessarily recommend for the classroom, due to the emotional ties that come with it. It would be best suited at home with a comfortable adult who can support the reader.

[Spencer Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow this story blew me away! This was such a powerful story about the untimely death of a father and the affect it had on the family. I enjoyed the story because it was very real and talked about all the things that go along with death. I thought Vigna brought the emotion out of all the characters in the story. I could all the different feelings the daughter went through in book while dealing with her father's death at such a young age. I remember losing my grandfather at a pretty young age and having that feeling of I cant understand why this happen. However just like in the story I was helped by my grandma about people living on in memory. I highly recommend this story for people to read for personal, but you may want to have kleenox nearby.

[Paige Cook · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is a sad children’s story dealing with the issue of death. It goes through the little girl, Grace’s, story about losing her father. She describes how sad it was and the things she does to cope with the tragic event. The illustrations are watercolor and simple. The pictures do not have much detail, but they guide the story along. Children could read this book if they have lost a parent, grandparent, or anyone close to them. It would help them know that they are not alone and people are going to help them through this event. This book may also help children realize that these events occur in life and help them to understand what other people may be going through.

[Logan Spears]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy is a very sad story about a mother having to explain to her daughter that her father had died. I was hard to read because imagining how confused and scared the little girl must have been made me uncomfortable. At the beginning she was thinking of ways it was her fault he was gone but her mother assured her it wasn't. She finally grasp that her father was really gone toward the end of the stroy. The illustrations were always on the right side of the page, and the text on the left. The illustrations also had boarders and very faint lines, almost giving it a feel of a dream or a flashback.

[Rachel Manak]

This book is composed neither in a landscape or a portrait orientation but rather in more of a square orientation. Even though this story is very depressing and sad, the illustrations are done in a fun and playful manner with bright colors. This might be because even though there is a sad meaning behind the story, in the end, there is always something to look forward to. that maybe something good will come out of it. There is a plain simple white border around the edge of the illustrations. Predominately throughout the story, the illustrations are on one side of the spread and the words are on the other.

[Rebecca Sherod · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book opens with an explanation of what a little girl, Claire, does when she misses her father. It then goes on to describe what happened when her father died and how she, her mother, and her grandfather dealt with it. The story explains what Claire felt and how she acted on those feelings.
The pictures throughout this book help enhance the Claire’s feelings on the death of her father. They depict what happened and reflect her state of sadness. This book could be helpful to read if a child has just lost a parent, or someone close to them. The average child might find this book too sad, but the powerful message could be helpful.

[Sarah Baxter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna is definitely a tear jerking book to read. Clare's father has just recently dies in a car crash and she needs to find ways to deal with this horrible thing. Clare is just a young girl and doesn't really know how death works and what happens after death. Clare's mother and grandfather help her through this difficult time and teach her how to cope with her feelings in a healthy way. This book could be very helpful to other young children who are experiencing the same type of loss. This book, while sad, has a very good story line and hidden message throughout the book.

[Audrey]

Saying Goodbye to Daddy is the riskiest kind of childrens book,becuase it speaks of something other than rainbows and rhymes. This book is perfect for a child who lost someone they care about. Though I am sure you had that tough conversation sometimes its better to look through a childs eyes. In the sotry Claires parents never picked her up from school one day and she couldnt understand why. This book shows that there is nothing she could have done to prevent the loss nor was it her fault. It is a tough subject for all but just knowing that other people have been through it and survived is a great comfort.

[Alicia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Personally, this book wasn't my favorite. The images appeared almost fuzzy to me, which I suppose could lend to the idea of someone looking back into the past, and recalling a specific event, but it just kind of bother me. Also, I thought that the text was boring, and distant. Maybe on some level a child who has lost their father could find it relatable, but I feel like it was only scratching the surface, and if you are going to talk about such a personal topic in hopes that kids can relate, I don't think you can keep it that distant.

[Mitchell Ary · Rating 1 out of 5]

i hated this book. i was sad the whole time while reading and i don't like how that was the tone of book from the very beginning to the very end. although the illustrations were very interesting with the water colors and graphite sketches although i feel like they had little meaning behind them.