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Monkeybait
A collection of dark and weird short fiction consisting of flash fiction, short stories and a novelette. While dark themes abound (cyclops still births, puppeteer pedophilia, and bovine existentialism), these stories are not bleak and nihilistic- ok a few are bleak and nihilistic- most are infused with a healthy dose of humanism and humor to redeem them.The Praying Mantis - At a not too unpleasant BBQ a man has a sudden intrusive thought, a very disturbing one at that.If only he had brought some Jack.First Communion- A story that asks the question why do we expose our children to a half naked guy on the cross every Sunday? Perhaps the answer lies in a field trip to Cedar Point with the Cracker Guy.The Mad Cow- Kafka meets Gary Larson.The Cyclops- A cyclops still birth is exciting news for a female pathology resident who's looking at publication of an important case report. The baby's Ya Ya has other ideas, that in part involves fresh blood soup.Yoga in Hell. A man who has started the descent into his own personal hell, decides it might be a good time to return to his yoga practice to save himself. It doesn't quite work out.The Wilshire- A CEO of an important industrial company takes a journey through a picaresque old folks home in search of his mother. As he makes his way through the twists and turns of the complex, he begins to realize things are not what they seem.The Shaft. A middle aged dentist visits an escort at a local hotel, and decides he is going to help her get back to her estranged child. It's also about the importance of calling your sponsor. Jerry- Thanksgiving seems like a good a time as any to relapse, especially if you've just invented a new drink called the Tainted Virgin.The Truant Officer- a good old fashioned Twilight Zone Episode about what happens if you don't go to school.Elmo Gets His Comeuppance- Forensic pathology, pedophilia, Sesame Street, human trafficking, and Applebee's- it's all in good fun.Solo- Nerds need sex too, but perhaps escorts that barter their services for Star Wars action figures may not be of the highest quality.Pumpkin Latte- flash fiction about psychotropic drugs, homelessness and everyone's favorite Latte. Stranglehold- The consensus seems to be that Ted Nugent is a horrible potentially dangerous human being. But what if Ted took ecstasy? Could he become enlightened? One man thinks so. His son- not so much. The Menu- A depressed woman is orientated to the psych ward via the dining room menu with the help of a stuttering schizoid and a schizophrenic gang banger.Monkeybait- A college student has a lot on his mind- he just got dumped by his girlfriend, he's flunking out, and his brother is dying. Then he starts to notice squirrels- to really notice them. That's when things start to get weird.The Microwave- When all you've got is a hot plate and someone buys you a microwave.
184 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 21, 2018
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June 27, 2019
Praying Mantis- A reluctant guest at a summer BBQ has a sudden disturbing intrusive thought. If only he had brought some Jack.
First Communion- Why do we subject our kids to the half naked guy every Sunday? Perhaps the answer will be revealed on a field trip with the cracker guy.
The Mad Cow- Kafka meets Gary Larson.
The Cyclops- A pathology resident is excited by her specimen because it means a major case report. The baby's yaya has other ideas, and a Tupperware container of fresh blood soup.
Yoga in Hell- A man who is spiraling down into his own personal hell, decides now would be a good time to take up his yoga practice again with mixed results.
The Wilshire- A man navigates the hallways of a Burtonesque old folks home in search of his mother and begins to suspect things are not as they seem.
The Shaft- With the ease of sites like Backpages, men who normally would not call on the services of a prostitute feel enabled. If only he had called his sponsor first.
Jerry- Thanksgiving seems like a good a time as any for relapse, especially when you are drinking Tainted Virgins.
The Truant Officer- A good old fashioned Twilight Zone episode.
Elmo Gets His Comeuppance- Forensic pathology, pedophilia, Sesame Street, human trafficking, and Applebee's- it's all in good fun.
Solo- Nerds need sex too, but perhaps escorts that barter their services for Star Wars action figures may not be of the highest quality.
Pumpkin Latte- flash fiction about psychotropic drugs, homelessness and everyone's favorite Latte.
Stranglehold- The consensus among vegans is Ted Nugent is deplorable. But what if Ted partook in in the ritual of Ecstasy? Could it change him? One man thinks so. His son- not so much.
The Menu- A patient's unofficial orientation into a psych ward via the dining room, by a stuttering schizoid and a psychotic gang banger.
Monkeybait- A novelette about a stressed out college student who starts to notice squirrels- really notice them. About the time monkeys enter the picture, things start to get really really weird.
The Microwave- When all you have is a hot plate to cook on and someone buys you a microwave.
It's like that.
First Communion- Why do we subject our kids to the half naked guy every Sunday? Perhaps the answer will be revealed on a field trip with the cracker guy.
The Mad Cow- Kafka meets Gary Larson.
The Cyclops- A pathology resident is excited by her specimen because it means a major case report. The baby's yaya has other ideas, and a Tupperware container of fresh blood soup.
Yoga in Hell- A man who is spiraling down into his own personal hell, decides now would be a good time to take up his yoga practice again with mixed results.
The Wilshire- A man navigates the hallways of a Burtonesque old folks home in search of his mother and begins to suspect things are not as they seem.
The Shaft- With the ease of sites like Backpages, men who normally would not call on the services of a prostitute feel enabled. If only he had called his sponsor first.
Jerry- Thanksgiving seems like a good a time as any for relapse, especially when you are drinking Tainted Virgins.
The Truant Officer- A good old fashioned Twilight Zone episode.
Elmo Gets His Comeuppance- Forensic pathology, pedophilia, Sesame Street, human trafficking, and Applebee's- it's all in good fun.
Solo- Nerds need sex too, but perhaps escorts that barter their services for Star Wars action figures may not be of the highest quality.
Pumpkin Latte- flash fiction about psychotropic drugs, homelessness and everyone's favorite Latte.
Stranglehold- The consensus among vegans is Ted Nugent is deplorable. But what if Ted partook in in the ritual of Ecstasy? Could it change him? One man thinks so. His son- not so much.
The Menu- A patient's unofficial orientation into a psych ward via the dining room, by a stuttering schizoid and a psychotic gang banger.
Monkeybait- A novelette about a stressed out college student who starts to notice squirrels- really notice them. About the time monkeys enter the picture, things start to get really really weird.
The Microwave- When all you have is a hot plate to cook on and someone buys you a microwave.
It's like that.
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