i didn’t do It, I did: A conversation with Consciousness A roadmap to Truth

by Susan Pearson

Humanity lives in a bubble of ignorance, a state of mind that distorts our perception to include pain, discord and scarcity. However, this doesn’t have to be. Permanent Safety, Health, Prosperity and Peace can be our experience once we Remember who We Really are.This Truth is not new. Every Illumined Individual throughout the ages has discovered It. Religions have been built on It. For most of us, though, the Promise of sustained Harmony and Happiness is lost to the bubble time and time again. Why the Truth retreats and how we can contact It again is the subject of this book.In a deeply revealing conversation between human consciousness and Spiritual Consciousness, answers to questions such as “what am i doing here?” and “why am i in this body?” are explored. Ancient teachings are dusted off, linked together, and made more available and relevant. Our core assumptions, beliefs, values and objectives are profoundly challenged. However, if we are willing, Truth takes us by the hand and leads us to a higher Understanding where True Hope is offered in an increasingly chaotic, despairing and dangerous world.

324 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 23, 2018

Reviews

[Emmanuelfr15 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Christof Koch is arguably one of the leading neuroscientists in the topic of consciousness. Nobel laureate Francis Crick handpicked him and together, they set on a journey to find de biological components of consciousness. They didn't create theories out of thin air, they study the current research (at the time) on the consciousness and then went to work, developing approaches and joining other scientists in this mysterious quest. He once wrote:

"People willingly concede that when it comes to nuclear physics or kidney dialysis, specialized knowledge is essential. But let the conversation turn to consciousness, and everybody chimes in, on the assumption that they are entitled to their own pet theory in the absence of pertinent facts. Nothing could be further from the truth. "

That seems to be the case for many of the spiritual and self-published book that have made the rounds this year, especially the one that I just read. Susan Pearson's new book (her first one), i Didn't do it, I Did, brings a bold statement on the topic of consciousness, but in the end, it falls flat.

Her book goes in a conversational style, explaining first that the I (that you think you are) is preventing you from knowing your true self. She then goes to talk about the intellect and how it prevents you from seeing your true self. Pearson goes deep in what you feel like you in your own body and what the pure consciousness is, furthering exclaiming: "If You Knew what Infinite Spiritual Consciousness meant, you would naturally equate it with Invulnerability because you would be free of all discord..."

To make these assumptions, Pearson takes the quote from Rene Descartes, "I think; therefore I am." This is the first reference to any relevant, philosophical peace work to support her line of thinking. Although she only uses it as an example, she then starts to add wild statements without any scientific research or reference to back it up. For example, she implies that when we are asleep, "real" Consciousness (with a capital C as she explains, to differentiate the two type of consciousness) does its job without interruption and that's why we feel better after a long night of sleep. She then adds that when we are awake, the thing that we like to call "being conscious" overrides all that progress that Consciousness. This piece of thought is used to imply that: "This greater Consciousness not only governs, It is the Intelligence and Power that Renews and Invigorates the Mind and Body."

This string of thought is the first sign that Pearson ignores the real science and goes all in on her ideas. She ignores that is sleep, specially Non-REM sleep and REM sleep does all this! (I recommend everybody to read Mathew Walker's Why We Sleep book for further reading). Pearson is technically right that after a good sleep our mind and body get to heal, and when we are awake, we tend to overwork those two things. But she manipulates these facts and bends them towards her argument that consciousness is something grander. These arguments don't end there. On science and religion, Pearson declares that since science study on the notion that matter is self-replicating, god, or as she explains, Infinite Spiritual Consciousness (not the god from the bible), fills the gap on how is created.

Maybe the argument that made me skeptical about the whole narrative was Pearson’s understanding of the brain, the main organ that brings to life the phenomenon of consciousness. Throwing early the Descartes quote, I thought that she was going to the dualistic approach (mind and body are two separate entities). Although that school of thought has evolved and many scientists don't take it that seriously in the field of brain research, I gave it the benefit of the doubt on waiting on a logical argument about the larger picture that Pearson was painting with the word Consciousness. But, as you find out in the book, that science is also broken. She goes to imply that scientists know that we only use a fraction of the brain in our lifetime, and because of that, the brain is a product of consciousness. A quick google search on that statement can lead to how big of a neuromyth that is.

The whole book throw this kind of statements, while also making some compelling arguments. Yes, there's such thing as spirituality, yes, we live almost every day with our thoughts getting in our way and not letting us experience other states of consciousness, this in line with many eastern philosophies and the practice of meditation. Many books by, Joseph Goldstein, Jon Kabat-Zinn and even Sam Harris work with this line of thinking, different states of consciousness and the illusion of the self. But the way this book is constructed, it reminded me on how Koch perceived these pieces of work:

“I frequently receive lengthy, unsolicited cogitations in the mail – densely scribbled manuscripts with the promise of more to come, self-publish books, or links to extensive Web pages, - concerning ultimate answers to life and consciousness. My attitude to these outpourings is that unless they respect such hard-won neurologic and scientific knowledge, they are destined for the constantly growing X-file sitting in a dusty corner of my office. “

That’s the same line of thought when reading Susan Pearson’s book. She didn’t respect the knowledge that makes consciousness the exciting field of study that it is today. Probably the best part of the book is Pearson making some thought-provoking statements, trying to answer broad questions and being practical. But the sheer mix of divinity and consciousness, manipulating it at her expense to explain life, is the downfall of the book.

[CinderBelle615 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Through Booktasters, the author was kind enough to give me a digital copy of her book...

I haven't read a book like this since the Gaia project. The author's belief system was really all over the place. One minute she was using terms like "Mother Nature" the next she was all hippie dippie with New Age beliefs and to spicen things up she flippantly throws in a "God" here and there.

Reading the title I came in thinking that the book might be a psycho analytic way of interpreting Consciousness or a philosophical type of book. It wasn't. And that's okay, you know, I thought well if it isn't that, surely I can still find the book enjoyable.

I saw some bible verses thrown in here and there, a quote by Descartes (and I was happy that there might be some kind of philosophical thinking, I didn't have to be deep, just some thinking would have been good) but it was all I guess just to fluff the book because I didn't see how the author expected so many different systems of beliefs to be in harmony with one another.

Once I realized that it was mostly New Age thinking, I figured that ok well it's always good to read outside of one's comfort zone because it teaches you empathy and it helps you understand how other people think.

But in the back of my mind I (or I guess you could say "i") really couldn't take this book seriously. Partly because I felt as if it wasn't taking the reader seriously. Yes we're all spiritual infants in a sense but the author's voice was just too, it made me think that she thought we're all idiots, and I guess humans are but at least give us benefit of the doubt and communicate in a slightly more mature tone.

The i vs I conversation was creative, and I was amazed she stuck through it the whole book. I know she did that on purpose, she wanted her readers to take their time with the book ( I'm generally a fast reader, I like smooth reading so I didn't like that I had to stop repeatedly because I was confused by the syntax) but I think it would have benefited the book more if she stuck with the i vs I sporadically around the book or the initial 1-3 chapters and then have used her adult author voice to continue on. She had some interesting thoughts but she didn't give anything to back them up with. We in the modern era are not that brilliant I mean ALL THAT WE KNOW is because someone else thought it up already. It takes a creative genius to make something new/useful nowadays, so you can't expect a reader to read through this book and believ that all of these ideas are solely from the author's mind. A bit more reference instead of quotes and verses (that had nothing to do with her opinions) would have been nice to try and harmonize everything up.

I didn't like this specific writing style neither did I like the ideas that weren't backed up by empirical data. I heavily disliked her attempt to describe "God." She could have mentioned which "God" she was talking about, it would have made more sense. Lastly, mental gymnastics is fun if it's worth the time to do, this was only challenging because of the thoughts and beliefs that were all over the place.

Quotes from the book:

"you must allow Me into your Conscious Awareness and give My Thoughts your Trust."

Before that my "filter" was pretty relaxed. But when I read that I thought H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS NO.

Another quote that really stuck out for me and it stayed with me throughout my reading was:

Would Love be Love if It allowed you to actually be vulnerable to danger, disease, pain and loss? In other words, would Love be destructive to Its Self?

And I thought YES IT STILL WOULD BE LOVE!! Because that's what love IS. It's free will and it let's you use that will to let things unfold. If "love" interrupted us at every second, just to save us from ourselves or from others, then it wouldn't BE love. We wouldn't BE humans. It's like when parents let their kids fly the coop. What kind of a parent wouldn't want their kid to GROW.

I do commend her for her efforts to try and explain something so complex like consciousness, and to have paired it up with written thought, it's no easy feat so kudos to her for trying.

[Rogier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is impossible to review. You have to read it. But since I started, I will try my hand at it, but I apologize in advance - it is not possible to do this book justice except by actually reading it and living with it for a while, for it won't let go of you. One concrete reason that you have to read it yourself lies in the fact that the author uses creative orthography as part of her message, and you lose that element in any attempt to merely describe the book. That in and of itself is a message. Talking about spirituality is not the same as spiritual living.

Ever since "A Course in Miracles" saw the light, there has been a never ending flood of books about it. I should know, for I am guilty as charged. The good news is, this is not a book about "A Course in Miracles," and I mean that from my heart. The hard part, however is to try to capture what this book is about, other than to simply tell you to read it yourself. The author of this book works with many traditions from Joel Goldsmith to Mary Baker Eddy and this book was 90% written before she seriously read A Course in Miracles, so that the terminology reflects the traditions she mostly worked from. In short, while the book uses terminology in a way that is inconsistent with A Course in Miracle, its content is thoroughly consistent with the message of the Course and many readers of the Course might find it helpful.

Disclaimer: A Course in Miracles primarily stands in the Western tradition, but of course the Western tradition has included contacts with the rest of the world. I have had a student in a Course class who came from a Hindu tradition, and who experienced the Course entirely through that lens, particularly the Baghavad Gita, and what she shared with our class was very powerful indeed. By the same token, I have studied the Course with some Chinese people and Lao Tse inevitably makes an appearance. Buddha comes along from time to time as well. Those connections are all logical and valuable, but the primary focus of the Course is still the Western, Judaeo-Christian tradition, not to mention it is rooted in Freudian psychological concepts. An other way of saying this might be to note that the Course could not have been written until after Freud, because it builds on so many Freudian insights. Similarly, this book could not have been written until after the Course.

This book then, is a transcendent overview on the entire Western tradition in the widest sense (i.e. including those connections to other traditions), from a very deep, inspired perspective, which, if nothing else demonstrates one thing, namely that the Truth is always in front of our eyes, except we are blind as bats until we begin to make the inner shift to which the Course's teaching of forgiveness is becoming a key for many. How we read the tradition is, like everything, a matter of our own perspective, the ego will always provide an ego-centric, dualistic and materialistic interpretation. The more we can let inspiration be our guide, the hidden meaning reveals itself. This is not a new concept: in fact the Thomas Gospel begins similarly, saying these are the hidden teachings of Jesus. Gnosticism in general picked up on that notion but all too frequently that deteriorated into the notion of secret societies, etc. which was not the meaning at all. The meaning always was that the Kingdom of God is within you, except you're not looking where it is, as long as you are searching for meaning in the world outside.

This book connects the dots in the inner traditions of the West, revealing the essence of its completely inescapably universal meaning. Once you begin to see it for what it is, you can never un-see it, regardless how long it may take you to make these truths your own by living them - for that is where the rubber meets the road. It takes a very interesting high level view of the Bible, not as a book of Christian theology, but as a reflection of the human experience for the Western world, showing us a living reality of a symbolic experience of several Biblical accounts that penetrates to the fundamental symbolic meaning, not just the dualistic Christian interpretation we owe to St. Paul.
Some examples include a very profound reflection on the two creation stories in Genesis, which very few have ever made sense of, ever since the Rashi commentaries. It lays out how the first creation is the "true" creation at the spiritual level, and the second story is the (also symbolic) story of the emergence of the dualistic world of individual existence. Likewise the book has some very profound commentary to offer on the meaning and symbolism of the crucifixion and resurrection, and other themes in the Bible in a way that completely transcends Jewish or Christian theology and even what is said about those topics in A Course in Miracles, in a way that logically extends the conversation to the next level of metaphysical truth. The treatment of the relationship between the ten commandments and Jesus' two commandments is one of the most lucid in spiritual literature anywhere.
The book reinforces the notion that probably all worldly religions are dualistic reinterpretations of an underlying expression of non-dualistic truths. Plato had his dualistic successor in Aristotle, Jesus had his Paul, Krishna had his Madhva commentary, to turn the non-dualism of Shankara into dualism.



One of the key concepts the book deals with and which puts it head and shoulders above a lot of would-be spiritual literature, is the issue of the separation - the answer to the ego's trick question of how did the impossible happen. And, going beyond the glib answer that it didn't, the book very eloquently makes it insightful why indeed the illusory nature of the separation is a feature, not a bug and that it is only maintained by our belief in it because we have identified with individual identities that all believe they are indeed different from one another.

It is critical that we should understand the separation and the forces that drive us to want to maintain our belief in it - our sense of individuality. Without becoming honest about those issues there can be no healing, and in fact it is part of the ego's strategy to keep us blissfully unaware of the separation to prevent us from even attempting to invite healing. Or, as some teachers will point out, who would I be without my problems? Too many spiritual teachings gloss over the separation thought and it seems that some teachers appear to have slipped in to some kind of enlightenment without coming upon this issue explicitly and as a result it gets glossed over in their teachings and that can be a handicap for anyone studying such teachings - like a missing link. I have encountered that in some advaita teachers and others, but it seems to me that for most of us the path indeed requires that this issue must be dealt with by becoming conscious of it and appreciating the illusory nature of individual identity, before it can be let go of - which seems almost automatic once we see that the emperor has no clothes on. We don't change until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and that applies to various bad habits as much as it does to the ego itself. Giving it up means learning to see its emptiness, and then we give it up because you can not un-see that the emperor has no clothes on, but you do need to see it first before you can pass it by.


Meanwhile, do not think that this book is just some abstract treatise either. Throughout the book, the author works out all the abstract concepts she discusses down to the level of day to day practice as to how the mind works and what is involved in making the choice betweeen the little (ego) i and the spiritual Self, which she refers to as I - that is where here creative orthography comes into play.

The book will teach you in very practical terms the difference between Mindfulness and Meditation. It explains how Mindfulness, being completely in the present - beyond the simple "be here now," is in fact the portal to the 'narrow gate' of Meditation and Prayer in a way that elaborates on those concepts such as they are addressed in a.o. the Psychotherapy pamphlet of A Course in Miracles, but adding a lot of very tangible instruction and elaboration that will be very helpful to many readers.

A word about words: the author uses her own terminology, which could be a bit confusing to some. What is called C(c)onsciousness here is the Mind/mind terminology in A Course in Miracles. The word consciousness in the Course would be the separation thought, the moment of choosing duality over non-duality. In other words, to the Course, the term consciousness is not a smart idea. The difference in terminology can be a bit confusing, depending on the reader's background, but that is a fairly easy adjustment. This book uses the word consciousness in more of the "generally accepted" way that it is used in New Age literature.

If you are coming into this book cold, it could be a bit much, but for spiritual seekers from many different traditions, this book can provide a very handy and down to earth guide for how to live what spiritual truths you have gleaned in your studies on a very practical, day to day level, and this is where it's at in the end, lest we stay stuck in our heads. Throughout the book, the emphasis is on making the insights that it offers actionable by connecting them immediately to your day to day experience.

The final section is all about the development of trust, which is a familiar theme for those who have studied the Course. This is really about when we consciously begin to build His Church on the Rock of Spirit, not the quicksand of this world. It is a process in and of itself for we do not give up our false ego-identity gladly. Throughout this book, the author does us a priceless favor of pointing out again and again the little tricks our ego uses to keep us in prison, versus how to still the raucus shrieking of that ego voice and create a space for the Voice of I, our capital-s Self to speak to us and through us, and help us enter through the narrow gate so we finally find the Kingdom that is our true spiritual inheritance. Once we know, we cannot unknow, and eventually we will make that choice for good.

[Dounia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the book and found it intriguing, raising question marks and triggering some challenging responses back to the author, which I would say is an achievement.

I strongly believe in Morgan's quote about " A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy." Pearson's book has plenty of exploration of old well-established thoughts, yet the examination part was on the generic side and lacking the support of methods and science's validation...

But who said that everything specially spiritual philosophies has to be supported or validated? Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, understanding and notions as long as they don't trespass others' entitlements.

I agree that humanity lives in a bubble of ignorance, but even this ignorance is volatile and evolving. Generalization of definition of God and relying on mainly one religions is not the right way to come up with conclusions and present them as solid given facts as Pearson did. It could be a god of a specific religion but that does not encompass the whole thing. However, I appreciated the efforts exerted to express in writing the thoughts and questions in such style. I have read several books by other authors adopting the same approach, for instance Neale Walsh with his series of conversations with God and friendship with God...etc.

I welcomed the revealed concepts and redefinition but I do question them too, as a reader I have my own analysis; which is why I found the book interesting. I urge readers to entertain the thoughts with open mindedness evening they end up disagreeing.

I personally disagree with some "whats" and "hows" in concept and style, yet agree with others. The style might be a bit confusing but readers could manage after couple of chapters.
There is an undeniable effort behind the final literature even though the content missed substantial validation and enough inclusion of many areas and aspects.

[Dr. KC Robinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Conundurum

I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book so I could give an honest review.

@booktasters @susanpearson


I was glad that I had read the opening chapters which warned me of the lowercase/uppercase writing style or I would have been very confused. Rarely do I find a reading that I absolutely abhor. This is no exception. I don’t dislike the book nor the premise behind it. However, my conundrum is that in taking so long to actually mention God or Holy Spirit by NAME or actual scripture references, it leaves the reader to question if the writer is espousing New Age spirituality or the tenets of the Holy Bible.

As a theologian, I figured she was circularly referring to God as “I Am” and Consciousness (uppercase) as the Holy Spirit. Some of the interpretations I take some exception with (we are NOT God and neither are we perfect because God (Consciousness or I Am) resides in our “i” (physical body). Scripture is clear that as long as we exist within the temple of the flesh, we always struggle with the temptation of sin (disobedience to God and His Word). And, that includes believers! But, I get it.

The primary concern is that this type of roundabout speak is just how the serpent snared Adam and Eve. Because Lucifer is fully aware of Scripture, he was/is infamous for twisting it and white-washing it and making it even “dimmer” than it already is. Why muddy up what already takes a lifetime of study and living to fully understand with vague references and non-binary titles.

Joshua said, if God is Lord, then serve Him. If in your eyes Ba’al is greater, then serve him. But as for me and my house, WE WILL SEEVE THE LORD! Jesus kept His teachings plain so that a child nor a fool could mistake what He was saying. I would recommend that keeping it simple so that not one person is lost because of misleading titles and references is the the best way to go..

Again, I get it but even with 30+ years of teaching, preaching, studying, questioning, etc, I became lost in a good bit of this and had to reread passages repeatedly... put the book down and then come back to it before I could grasp what was being said.

[Rico Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book a while ago so some of the details I forgot about. However the goal of me reading this was to try and understand conscientiousness better and in that, better understand me. I didn't get the latter as some of the concepts were hard to follow and I couldn't relate to others but overall I still enjoyed reading it as it got me to think about things that I probably wouldn't have had I not read it. Plus it was a good time killer on the plane as I travel a lot.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very engaging and insightful! It gives a clear understanding of the spirtuality that guides humanity at all times. All we have to do is recognize that we are not human beings ,we are spirit beings. I an absolute must read for this time in our history especially.

[Fhey · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book taught us how to reflect into oneself. Every pages of the book makes you questions yourself and helped you to do self-reflect on your life. There are so many lessons youwill learned and easily applied into our life. Overall, this book is worth of reading.😀