How Will I Get Through the Holidays? 12 Ideas for Those Whose Loved One Has Died

by James E. Miller

This book helps bereaved people understand what is happening to them and what to expect during the emotionally charged holiday times. It offers twelve ideas for navigating through these periods, with many specific suggestions. Included also are thoughtful, time-honored quotations throughout. This writing is popular with hospices and funeral homes throughout the country.

64 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1996

About the author

Librarian Note: There are more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Often times I've found that books on grief can be a bit overwhelming, especially if you're feeling down already. This one is pretty short (only 64 pages), and it's really a bit shorter than that, since many pages have included quotes that relate to the text on the opposing pages.

The quotes help you understand that the feelings your feeling have been felt before. You're experience with grief is, and will always be, unique. But, loss is nothing new, and sections of our paths we're facing have been walked before by others in some way or another.

This book also covered a few things that I hadn't thought of, like giving a bit of yourself when possible. It's so easy to get wrapped up in such a small existence when dealing with grief. You feel like you have nothing to give. But, at this book discusses, even the smallest part of you can mean something to others. There are plenty of things that you can volunteer for that may help.

As with any book on loss, this one may not be for everyone. It's not a step by step process of dealing with loss during the holidays. I don't think that even exists. But, it does give you advice and ideas to ponder. This is one I'll keep in mind to share with grieving other that I may come across in life.

[D.J. Lang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between 3.5 and 4. I was going to mark this as 3 stars because it is short and the author never indicates where he has grieved, but...he has these lovely quotes from some of my very favorite authors and poets. That appeals to me; it won't appeal to everyone. It is also a very short sixty-four page book and half those pages have the quotes on them. Of the three books that I bought on grief and the holidays, this is the oldest one (published 1996).

I like that Miller writes what others have advised (or as the oldest book I'm reading, they advised what he advised), and many other grieving friends have said the same: "Feel whatever it is you feel"; "Take charge where you can" -- this one doesn't mean "be responsible"; it means you get to decide how you are going to make it through. If you have always been the one to host Christmas, you do not have to do that this year or the next as some people are numb the first year and grief really hits during the second. "Be gentle with yourself" -- if you want to shop from catalogues to avoid crowds of merrymakers, go for it. "Give voice to your soul".

Miller also acknowledges in his final comments that there are other holidays and times that grief sweeps in, not just during the fall and winter.

Would my mom read it? Actually she might. No crafts in here. She would probably miss the personal touch as I do: has Miller ever grieved the death of a loved one? He doesn't say. He is a grief counselor but that's not the same. Nonetheless, this might be the book that comforts some people.