The Sexual Celibate

by Donald J. Goergen

A theologian delineates the sexual and spiritual aspects of the life of the celibate person.

Genres: Religion, Spirituality

266 pages, Hardcover

First published April 2, 1975

Reviews

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE CONTROVERSIAL 1974 BOOK THAT SAID, "CELIBATE PEOPLE ARE SEXUAL BEINGS”

Donald J. Goergen is a Dominican author and theologian who has taught Christology and spirituality for many years, and was provincial of the Dominican friars of the Central Province in the United States. He has written many other books such as 'Fire of Love: Encountering the Holy Spirit,' 'The Theology of Priesthood,' 'The Death and Resurrection of Jesus,' 'The power of love: Christian spirituality and theology,' etc.

He wrote in the Introduction to this 1974 book, "It is not easy to write, nor present to the public, a book which contains many of my own personal experiences, spiritual struggles, and theological convictions. Nevertheless, a book such as this is necessary.

'The Sexual Celibate' is based upon the growing conviction that friendship is not detrimental but central to celibate living, that celibate persons are also sexual persons, and that celibate life is a profound and rewarding way of living. The strength of this book is its attempt to bring together celibacy and sexuality; the weakness is that it leaves much unsaid about our life in Christ... Another strength is the open and public discussion of issues which too easily and too often are detrimentally passed over." (Pg. v)

He observes, "I see both celibate and married people struggling with their sexual lives as well as spiritual lives... People felt that they had to choose between them---to be either sexual or spiritual. A fundamental presupposition of this book is that there is another alternative, that it is possible to be both sexual and spiritual whether celibate or married, and that this integration is for the greater glory of God." (Pg. 9)

He states, "Sexuality has two dimensions---the affective and the genital. Although some equate sexuality and genitality, I see sexuality as a broader term that cannot be reduced to genitality alone. Genitality is only one dimension of the sexual life. Sexuality has to do with the sexes, with our attractions to other people, with our relational rootedness." (Pg. 51)

He says, "The notion of bisexuality ... simply says that in the process of coming to sexual identity these cultural stereotypes and social roles have to be dealt with. Bisexuality arises from these conceptions which I face as a growing person. In this sense I am both feminine and masculine. I am not both man and woman. I am a man with a feminine dimension." (Pg. 68)

He explains, "I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy homosexual relationships, but I do not consider the word 'homosexual' to necessarily imply that which is in itself unhealthy... All our human relationships are sexual in the broadest sense of the word. This does not mean that all our relationships include the fulness of genitality. It does not necessarily imply that all our relationships fully involve the affective dimension of sexuality." (Pg. 77)

He adds, "Not all homosexuality is pathological... A man who is not able to relate tenderly to his own sex is pathologically heterosexual; a man who is not able to relate tenderly to the other sex is pathologically heterosexual." (Pg. 79)

He states, "being celibate does not mean being asexual." (Pg. 87) He points out, "touch and genitality have come to be associated. The preoccupation with genitality is often the need for bodily contact. We are tactually deprived and think we are sexually deprived, which means to many genitally deprived. It is important to recognize our need for tactile stimulation without confusing tactile needs with genital needs." (Pg. 91)

He adds, "Chastity is not intended to lead one into a 'no-touch' style of life." (Pg. 95) Still later, he says, "Celibacy is something we grow into; it is not simply given. We face new questions about our celibate life every day." (Pg. 187)

He also asserts, "Environment can give strength to the homosexual dimension of the personality by bringing together members of the same sex ... to the exclusion of the other sex. There is no reason to fool ourselves about this. Celibate people are sexual beings like everyone else. When affectionate and genital feelings enter homosexual friendship, one should recognize and accept their presence. This does not mean the relationship is unhealthy." (Pg. 189)

This book was quite controversial when first written. Goergan has seemed much more "mainstream" in the years since this book (his first) was published, however.

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