Before I Let You Go: Stories for My Grown Son

by Kirsten Wreggitt

In this memoir, every mother will find heartfelt messages that resonate. “Before I Let You Go” takes you on the emotional journey of striving to raise a perfect child knowing how deeply imperfect we all are. Kirsten’s beautiful words will draw empathy from deep within each reader. She bravely puts into words the lessons that mothers know will help their growing boy become a good man. “I was petrified we would have a girl. Everything about having a girl was horrible to me - the princess parties, the fear of her safety, and the emotional roller coaster ride. But mostly I was afraid she would be like me - suicidal, unable to make brave choices, and trapped inside a body she didn't love. I was terrified I would have to face that mirror in two places everyday.” “Before I Let You Go” is a journey of Kirsten Wreggitt’s life through motherhood and marriage, and her self-discovery along the way. It is a collection of stories she wanted to share with her grown son about her life’s greatest lessons. These were stories she could not talk about with him because they were too uncomfortable or raw. As she says “In here I can say the things that catch in my throat. I can say the things that make your eyes roll. In here I can safely share what I have always wanted to tell you but there just was never the right time.” Among the many stories in this book, Kirsten shares the difficulty of marriage, the struggle to love herself and her body, the triumph of facing her fears, the pain of loving a child, the regret of decisions, and the freedom of knowing yourself. She discusses these with a rare honesty and sometimes offers up surprising advice as a result. It is a woman’s reflection on the halfway point of her life and the journey to get there. She shares the joy of being in the “I am not anticipating the next stop, I am here paying attention and loving what I see.” She shares the struggle with finding her “And still what if I never really know why I am here? I still must eat. I still must drink. I still must sleep. And I must love. And love? Even if that is all there is, that changes everything.” And she shares her most difficult question of “I am face to face with my mortality and though I have loved others and was loved by others, the only question that remains was “did I love me?””

184 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 27, 2017

About the author

“Average lives can be extraordinary.” —Kirsten Wreggitt

Kirsten Wreggitt grew up in a small town in the middle of the Great Lakes region in Canada. Her big heart and curious mind have taken her on a few journeys through a couple of relocations, careers, and roles. Each opportunity has shaped her view of the world and sparked another journey into more curiosity and reflection. She currently lives, writes, and works in Calgary, Alberta.

Reviews

[Ell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an introspective book which many mothers will be able to relate to. The author shares with her son her thoughts and lesson learned over the years in hopes of passing on wisdom and greater understanding to a son who will soon be independently living his own life. Rather than being told in chronological order, the author organizes her letters to her son in categories of themes. It felt more like something one would share with a daughter more so than a son, but it was endearing nonetheless.

[Goth Gone Grey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mom memoir

This is a collection of stories written for the author's son. They read in part like journal entries, part like confessions. Whispers of regrets and advice born from those regrets mingle with prouder, happier parenting moments.

For as much as moms wear a superhero cape, this one is startlingly vulnerable in her honesty. She shares her moments of doubt, at time slipping away as it does from all of us, with candor. The stories - a scant few pages each - are grouped by theme and told randomly, not in linear order. It gives a feel of reaching into a box of photos, pulling one out and reminiscing before going to the next. This is not a bad thing.

Well written, I wish the author and her family peace.

[Sandy]

DNF @ 25%

I had such high hopes for Before I Let You Go. Having just had a baby boy 8 months ago, I loved the idea of a mom writing a book of things she wants to say to her son before he leaves her house to move out on his own. I've often thought of doing something similar for my daughter and now son as well. I'm sure it isn't an entirely original idea. But I was so excited to see what this book was all about.

However, I quickly realized that Kirsten Wreggitt and I have some very different thoughts on life, parenting, and especially religion. First off, I was confused about her intro to Before I Let You Go where she discusses being unable to have serious/in depth conversations with her son. And I found this pretty sad. Of course, I don't want to be too judgemental yet considering that my children are quite young. But my parents never shied away from difficult conversations with me. And even aunts and cousins and various other family members. I won't say that anyone enjoys difficult conversations, but the importance of them and the love we have for each other prompt us to move past discomfort in order to get to the heart of things. Of course though, there have been specific people in my life that are particularly difficult to have a deep conversation with so I can understand...a little.

Also I'm a Christian and I'm quite confident in my faith and beliefs. I wasn't far into Before I Let You Go when I first had the thought that Kirsten Wreggitt needs God in her life. This isn't a judgment upon her. She just seems so lost. Her letter to her son (at least the portion that I read) was filled more of questions than answers for him. And while I don't claim to have all of the answers to life's big questions, I do know the One who does have those answers. Kirsten Wreggitt has a section dedicated to "church", and it was during this section that I couldn't stop thinking "she's missing the entire point." First off, the modern American version of "church" is quite different from what the Biblical meaning of the word and what we see in the first century. While God does know that we need each other and He designed us to help each other on our journey from Earth to Heaven, the thing that she's missing is Jesus. Even if she mentioned His name...what she "got out of church" was "community". It was about this point that I started pondering DNF. Once I reached her section about sitting down with a spiritual teacher I confirmed my decision and only kept reading until 25% to meet my own requirements for a DNF review.

Ultimately the differences in my faith, parenting philosophies, and general outlook on life made me realize that Before I Let You Go and I aren't the right fit for each other. I'm not the right reader for it, and it isn't the right book for me. I DNF'd Before I Let You Go at 25%. Have you read Before I Let You Go ? What did you think? Let me know!

[Stephanie Pollock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start by saying that my review may be a bit biased as this book is written by a dear friend - and I was along for the ride since its inception.

That said, Kirsten does a beautiful job of sharing the vulnerabilities and everyday truths of life. As she reflects back on her life - decisions made and unmade - good times and bad - she offers her lessons and learnings as a gift to her grown son.

As the mom of two younger kids, Before I Let You Go is a powerful reminder about what is most important, what doesn't really matter all, and the importance of loving yourself in the process.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is organized similar to a journal with entries in no particular order. Each entry represents a notable event or feeling the author wishes to share with her grown son. Together they provide readers a glimpse into the Author's life which for some may be reflective of their own milestones.
Nice little time filler 3 star read.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Life

Although I am not a mother, I think we all ask ourselves the same questions from time to time. Great idea to provide self experiences to help guide your child and/or others through life.

[Jackie Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like this woman took the words right out of my head. Definitely a great read for moms and just women in general. She talks about the things you rarely like to admit to the public.

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give this book 4 stars ****. I very much enjoyed this "memoir" of sorts written by Ms. Wreggit. It's a well was written novel of tidbits of advice and takeaways for her son. She is very open and honest about her doubts and mistakes all the way. I would definitely urge my other mom friends ( & even ones that aren't yet) to add this book to their "to read" list.

[Linda Tilling · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lovely collection of stories and conversations that a Mother wishes she could have had with her son face to face at poignant times in both their lives. Basically a self help book full of tips, advice and a reminder that love, including loving yourself, is so important when being a Mother. Enjoyable read.