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How to Win at Nintendo Games

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Alpha mission
Arkanoid
Balloon fight
Breakthru
Castlevania
Commando
Contra
Deadly Towers
Double dribble
Excitebike
Ghosts 'n goblins
Gradius
Ikari warriors
Karnov
Kid icarus
Kid-niki
Kung fu
The legend of Kage
Mega man
Metroid
Mike Tyson's punch-out
PRO wrestling
Rad racer
Rush 'n attack
Solomon's key
Spy hunter
Top gun
Urban champion
Worldrunner
Zelda II, the adventure of Link
Bubble bobble
Jackal
Joust
Life force
Metal gear
Mickey mousecapade
Spelunker
Super Mario Bros
Super Mario Bros. 2
Wizards & warriors

211 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 1988

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Jeff Rovin

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Displaying 1 of 1 review
Profile Image for Brian.
670 reviews87 followers
November 17, 2016
I owned this book when I was younger, back when getting a new game was a rare event worth of celebration. Buying a book that talked about new games was certainly cheaper than another game, and spent hours reading and re-reading the entries in here, imagining what it must be like to play the games I didn't have. A few months ago on a whim, I looked it up online and found that someone was selling it for $0.99, so on a lark, I bought it. And now that the NES Classic Edition is on sale--theoretically, anyway--I figured it was a good time to read it again.

How to Win at Nintendo Games is a fascinating look into a time before how to evaluate games had come to any sort of consensus. It's still steeped in an arcade mentality, so there's a lot of discussion of points and how to get the best score, as well as the "par" that a player can expect to earn. This makes more or less sense depending on the game, but when it doesn't there's a par for how far the player should expect to get. It's an aspect of wider gaming culture that I never had a chance to participate in, because while I am old enough to remember arcades and how amazing they were, I'm not old enough that I was able to regularly go to arcades and try to top the score charts. I was always more concerned with just trying to beat the game, not maximizing my performance on it.

I guess nowadays, that section would have speedrunner times.

The book still does a great job of painting a mental picture in its game descriptions. There are "Beginner's Strategy" and "Advanced Strategy" subsections for each game, some of which are general strategic tips and others are more guides to the game. For example, here's the beginning of Castlevania:
Upon entering, kill the Zombies and watch out for the Panthers on the upper level. Whip the last block of the Panther staircase: a Money Bag is there. Before going downstairs (the steps are on the far left, set in the floor; you'll know to go there when you can't leap the gap in the above-ground staircase), head to the ground level and crack the bottom 2 blocks on the thick wall to the far right: a Pork Chop is interred there. (Be alert: a Bat will attack when you go to get it. If you whip it too soon, anything it's carrying will be frozen in the stones.) Going below, don't dawdle: the Fish Men hop from the waters quickly and in increasing numbers.
If you've played Castlevania you know what that looks like, but if haven't--well, it could look more like this in your mind. The descriptions do a great job of making every game sound interesting. Even Deadly Towers, widely considered one of the most annoying games ever, sounds fun. All those rooms to explore? Items to buy? Enemies to fight? What an amazing wealth of gaming!

(Don't try it. It's bad.)

Rovin has...let's say idiosyncratic opinions compared to the modern consensus. Especially when it comes to music--each game gets a Challenge, Graphics, and Sound Effects grading at the end on a school grade system, and Castlevania's music gets a B. Metroid gets a B. Contra and Mega Man both get Cs. Meanwhile, Kung Fu gets a B+ and Rad Racer gets an A. Rad Racer's music isn't bad, and when I went to listen to it to see what Rovin was talking about I realized I had heard it sampled elsewhere, but saying it's beter than Vampire Killer? Than the Waterfall Stage? I object, sir.

I also had forgotten how ridiculous some of the naming schemes in Nintendo games were until I read the names all in a list. Some names are unofficial, because the book needs some way of referring to the enemies in its guides. But some are official. In Gradius, the player fights the evil Bacterions by piloting the Warp Rattler, fighting Rugurrs, Dakkers, and Zabs, along with a host of others, along the way. In Mega Man, the titular character enters Monsteropolis to battle the Humanoids in their Empires. It's kind of charming, honestly. A reminder of a time when games didn't aspire to being Serious Entertainment™ and being extremely silly was fine and expected. If it wasn't an RPG, how often did people read those manuals anyway?

Interestingly enough, no game in this book is classified as an "RPG." Nor are any platformers. Kid Icarus is a "fantasy quest," Punch-Out! is "boxing," Ikari Warriors is "military search-and-destroy," and Super Mario Bros. is "quest through a cartoon fantasy land." It's kind of like how back in the pulps, fantasy, science fiction, and horror weren't all distinct genres with distinct conventions, and it all kind of got lumped together as "weird fiction," so people didn't feel bound by genre barriers.

I'm also inordinately happy that the section on Super Mario Bros. has the secret of the Minus World in it.

How to Win at Nintendo Games won't be much help nowadays when the collected wisdom of the internet is at our beck and call, but it's a great portal into what looking up how to beat games used to be like.
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