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Understanding Gender Variance - A Practical Guide: including Intersex, Trans, Non-Binary & Gender Fluid Individuals
Hard cover version includes colour illustrations; paperback version illustrations are black and white.Helen Dale has been involved in the trans community for more than twenty years; initially providing support on the internet then training as a counsellor and counselling supervisor; chairing trans and LGB&T support groups and providing workshops on trans issues to a range of audiences — and has won several awards for this work.This guide has been developed from those workshops and her personal experiences supporting other trans individuals. It is intended to be easy to read keeping jargon to a minimum and explaining terms in simple language. The information is laid out in logical sections — with a comprehensive contents section to find relevant details easily.With the number of individuals identifying as trans, intersex, non-binary or gender fluid doubling about every five years, if you haven’t previously met or had dealings with a trans individual, you may well do before long whether as a manager or support worker friend or family. It will help you to identify the questions that you need to ask and how to avoid common mistakes.It will also be a valuable resource for anyone who identifies as transgender, intersex, non-binary or gender fluid.The book is aimed at anyone dealing with trans peopleCounsellors / Help-line Operators/ BefriendersSupport/ Social WorkersUnion StaffTeachers and LecturersCitizens Advice BureauxSamaritansCriminal Justice System staff includingEquality and Diversity PractitionersHR staffOther ManagersLGBT+ organisationsFamily & FriendsAnd Trans Individuals themselvesContents include:DefinitionsCausalitySocial TransitionTranssexual Journey to SurgeryTravelling Post Transition / SurgeryTrans Issues in CounsellingPartners and FamiliesCase StudiesLegal HistoryDiscrimination & Hate Crime/ IncidentsEmploymentTrans People in the Criminal Justice SystemBibliography"Your books were the first thing I found that made sense from a human point of view instead of science and big words."
155 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 24, 2018
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May 25, 2020If you could give a book negative stars, this would be the book I would give it to. I will not even give my usual synopsis and jump right into some comments, prompted by pieces of the text.
Pages are in brackets []. Pagination is from the Kindle edition.
[4] The author uses “Transgender Spectrum.” While I had used this term in the past, I now prefer transgender umbrella because it seems less likely to privilege anyone. I am less than satisfied with umbrella with the “transgender” adjective because some gender non-conforming individuals may not feel that transgender is the right adjective for them. This seems especially likely for an agender person.
[6] “This [gender dysphoria] is often described as ‘feeling you are in the wrong body.’” This leaves out some transgender persons like me, and others who do not think in those terms. She does not directly acknowledge us, but she does use “often” as a qualifier, which is less than all embracing for sure. This gives me the feeling of being left out. I do not feel I am in the wrong body—I have lived in it my whole life—I am not happy with it currently, but it is most certainly still my body. In this respect I am not all that different than others cis-persons who seek body modification.
[12] “Trans is, I believe, an extreme version of this latter condition [being all the way on a the feminine identity trans spectrum].” (my italics) This is absolutely offensive to me. I have no other sense of gender beside female, and I am not extreme. She can keep her nasty belief.
[13} Speaking in evolutionary terms she writes “women the homemakers.” A big problem here is there weren’t any homes to take care of as we evolved in the savannas of Africa. She then lists some difference in women and men. But these could have evolved socially.
[23] She mentions “Tracheal Shave” without explaining how risky this surgery is. One can either damage their voice or loose it completely. This borders on the unethical for a trained counselor.
[26] She gives an 8 stage process that transgender person go through. This can hardly be true of everyone, especially 7. It might not appear at all. I never had much denial (#2) it was more a process of exploration as I have done with most things in my life. The only part of (#4) that fits is seeking contact with other transwoman. Acceptance (#5) was more of a recognition. I do, however, take a lot of pride in being a transgender woman. Campaigner/Activist (#7) gives rather shallow examples. I feel a deep need to advocate on a much more meaningful way such as volunteering for the Transgender Law Center (currently waiting for an assignment for taking intake calls). I have heard of less absorption (#8) happening, but this has definitely not occurred for me as of yet.
[27] The discussion on passing/stealth is debated in shoulds. This should be absolutely an individuals choice. A trans person should not feel obligated (which is morally wrong to say so) to be openly trans because it is supportive (debatable in itself) of the trans community. She does come to the closeted trans persons defense not to be openly trans, but I think back on stage (#6 and #7): where is the pride in being trans if your not openly so, so not everyone experiences stage (#6) ,and they wouldn’t be comfortable in a pride tee or event either, so again not everyone goes through a stage (#7).
[27] Speaking on sexual relationships, she writes: “Many trans people avoid intimate relations rather than risk rejection. Others establish relationships with other trans individuals.” This implies to me that these people are settling for other trans persons, and so it is not actually a valid sexual attraction in itself.
[29] “Trans people ‘feel different’ from an early age and cannot fit in to the boxes that society tries to place them.” First this could apply to anyone who differs from the social norm. But it is also not true of all trans individuals anyway. I and others that I know of do not fit this pernicious stereotype. Your not really trans if there wasn’t some kind of childhood dissonance.
[29] She speaks in terms that transsexualism is a condition. This is medicalizing a natural phenomenon, so I see it as demeaning.
[30] “Approximately 80% of the people who see one of the leading psychiatrist dealing with transsexualism do not have the operation [I suppose this refers to GCS or what is commonly bottom surgery].” Maybe because these psychiatrist are assholes stuck up on their own status and control.
[32] In relationship to coming out to possible partners she writes in terms of attracting men or being fetishized. This is a very sexist statement in the first place and makes the assumption that all transwoman are attracted to men.
[33] “Whilst this might well be the case [being rejected because of your trans status], it is also possibly because the individual is not a particularly likeable person.” Okay this is just great! Blame the victim. At this point it had dawn on me that I would never see her for counseling. I have a feeling a would have fired her within a month.
[33] “During transition, many trans persons will limit social interaction such as support groups or gay scenes.” Like gay scenes are really safe. Think of the Pulse night club massacre. And I have heard of and have personally been told of tales of rape in these supposedly safe places.
[33] “Few trans people escape ridicule and no matter how confident they are, they can still find it painful. One adverse incident outweighs hundreds of positive comments.” Well she doesn’t know me. I find the exact opposite. Nothing beats being called Ms. or ma’am.
[34] This whole section portrays transitioning as a catastrophe.
[38] Uses the word transsexual in talking about the issues transitioning bring up in a relationship. First, I don’t use transsexual; it is now seen as a medicalizing word, making being a trans person unnatural. I also think she may use it because it is more common to do so in the UK where she resides. It is not that I am saying that one shouldn’t use it; I have friends who describe themselves as such. And besides I identified as a woman. This is so even being a transgender woman.
I also saw little point to her chapter of case studies. She never indicate the significance of each case; she just presented them.
I know these comments are incredibly negative, and I debate whether or not it was worth including them and just give some general statements about the book, but my feelings were so strong that I could not hold back. As you can see from my comments. I felt demeaned, ignored, and plain agog that anyone could benefit from her counseling. The actual text is not the half of it though. It reads like a cheat sheet studying for a test—Rat a tat tat—No panache. I was serious about the negative star rating. I knew it was a quick read so I decided to finish what would have usually been a book I wouldn’t have.
I recommend this book to absolutely no one—period.
Pages are in brackets []. Pagination is from the Kindle edition.
[4] The author uses “Transgender Spectrum.” While I had used this term in the past, I now prefer transgender umbrella because it seems less likely to privilege anyone. I am less than satisfied with umbrella with the “transgender” adjective because some gender non-conforming individuals may not feel that transgender is the right adjective for them. This seems especially likely for an agender person.
[6] “This [gender dysphoria] is often described as ‘feeling you are in the wrong body.’” This leaves out some transgender persons like me, and others who do not think in those terms. She does not directly acknowledge us, but she does use “often” as a qualifier, which is less than all embracing for sure. This gives me the feeling of being left out. I do not feel I am in the wrong body—I have lived in it my whole life—I am not happy with it currently, but it is most certainly still my body. In this respect I am not all that different than others cis-persons who seek body modification.
[12] “Trans is, I believe, an extreme version of this latter condition [being all the way on a the feminine identity trans spectrum].” (my italics) This is absolutely offensive to me. I have no other sense of gender beside female, and I am not extreme. She can keep her nasty belief.
[13} Speaking in evolutionary terms she writes “women the homemakers.” A big problem here is there weren’t any homes to take care of as we evolved in the savannas of Africa. She then lists some difference in women and men. But these could have evolved socially.
[23] She mentions “Tracheal Shave” without explaining how risky this surgery is. One can either damage their voice or loose it completely. This borders on the unethical for a trained counselor.
[26] She gives an 8 stage process that transgender person go through. This can hardly be true of everyone, especially 7. It might not appear at all. I never had much denial (#2) it was more a process of exploration as I have done with most things in my life. The only part of (#4) that fits is seeking contact with other transwoman. Acceptance (#5) was more of a recognition. I do, however, take a lot of pride in being a transgender woman. Campaigner/Activist (#7) gives rather shallow examples. I feel a deep need to advocate on a much more meaningful way such as volunteering for the Transgender Law Center (currently waiting for an assignment for taking intake calls). I have heard of less absorption (#8) happening, but this has definitely not occurred for me as of yet.
[27] The discussion on passing/stealth is debated in shoulds. This should be absolutely an individuals choice. A trans person should not feel obligated (which is morally wrong to say so) to be openly trans because it is supportive (debatable in itself) of the trans community. She does come to the closeted trans persons defense not to be openly trans, but I think back on stage (#6 and #7): where is the pride in being trans if your not openly so, so not everyone experiences stage (#6) ,and they wouldn’t be comfortable in a pride tee or event either, so again not everyone goes through a stage (#7).
[27] Speaking on sexual relationships, she writes: “Many trans people avoid intimate relations rather than risk rejection. Others establish relationships with other trans individuals.” This implies to me that these people are settling for other trans persons, and so it is not actually a valid sexual attraction in itself.
[29] “Trans people ‘feel different’ from an early age and cannot fit in to the boxes that society tries to place them.” First this could apply to anyone who differs from the social norm. But it is also not true of all trans individuals anyway. I and others that I know of do not fit this pernicious stereotype. Your not really trans if there wasn’t some kind of childhood dissonance.
[29] She speaks in terms that transsexualism is a condition. This is medicalizing a natural phenomenon, so I see it as demeaning.
[30] “Approximately 80% of the people who see one of the leading psychiatrist dealing with transsexualism do not have the operation [I suppose this refers to GCS or what is commonly bottom surgery].” Maybe because these psychiatrist are assholes stuck up on their own status and control.
[32] In relationship to coming out to possible partners she writes in terms of attracting men or being fetishized. This is a very sexist statement in the first place and makes the assumption that all transwoman are attracted to men.
[33] “Whilst this might well be the case [being rejected because of your trans status], it is also possibly because the individual is not a particularly likeable person.” Okay this is just great! Blame the victim. At this point it had dawn on me that I would never see her for counseling. I have a feeling a would have fired her within a month.
[33] “During transition, many trans persons will limit social interaction such as support groups or gay scenes.” Like gay scenes are really safe. Think of the Pulse night club massacre. And I have heard of and have personally been told of tales of rape in these supposedly safe places.
[33] “Few trans people escape ridicule and no matter how confident they are, they can still find it painful. One adverse incident outweighs hundreds of positive comments.” Well she doesn’t know me. I find the exact opposite. Nothing beats being called Ms. or ma’am.
[34] This whole section portrays transitioning as a catastrophe.
[38] Uses the word transsexual in talking about the issues transitioning bring up in a relationship. First, I don’t use transsexual; it is now seen as a medicalizing word, making being a trans person unnatural. I also think she may use it because it is more common to do so in the UK where she resides. It is not that I am saying that one shouldn’t use it; I have friends who describe themselves as such. And besides I identified as a woman. This is so even being a transgender woman.
I also saw little point to her chapter of case studies. She never indicate the significance of each case; she just presented them.
I know these comments are incredibly negative, and I debate whether or not it was worth including them and just give some general statements about the book, but my feelings were so strong that I could not hold back. As you can see from my comments. I felt demeaned, ignored, and plain agog that anyone could benefit from her counseling. The actual text is not the half of it though. It reads like a cheat sheet studying for a test—Rat a tat tat—No panache. I was serious about the negative star rating. I knew it was a quick read so I decided to finish what would have usually been a book I wouldn’t have.
I recommend this book to absolutely no one—period.
Displaying 1 of 1 review