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Condoms and Hot Tubs Don't Mix: An Anthology of Awkward Sexcapades
Real sex isn't as graceful and glamorous as romance novels and pornography often portray. Real sex is learning you have a latex allergy while you lose your virginity. And so, the stories, essays, poems, and comics in Condoms and Hot Tubs Don't Mix offer realistic sex scenes to counter the overly coercive and falsely romantic scenes portrayed by books, films, and TV shows.
235 pages, Paperback
Published June 1, 2018
16 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 25, 2018
I bought this anthology because the proceeds were all going to Planned Parenthood, an organization all Americans should support. Also, I loved the title and the cover.
It was well-edited, and contained some interesting sex trivia in between the essays, as well as poems. Ya, sex poetry! But the tone was all over the place.
Some of it was hilarious. For example, in this story about having canine observers, during sex: "I’m neurotic about my weight, so during sex I’m always wondering, do I look fat? And you can’t ask the dog. He always says, 'Yes. Now make me fat too.'"
But some of the essays and poems were just sad, and painful. So I didn't finish with any kind of takeaway message, whether it's "Don't let this happen to YOU," or, "Yay, sex!" Except, perhaps, for how desperately American people need a good sex education.
It was well-edited, and contained some interesting sex trivia in between the essays, as well as poems. Ya, sex poetry! But the tone was all over the place.
Some of it was hilarious. For example, in this story about having canine observers, during sex: "I’m neurotic about my weight, so during sex I’m always wondering, do I look fat? And you can’t ask the dog. He always says, 'Yes. Now make me fat too.'"
But some of the essays and poems were just sad, and painful. So I didn't finish with any kind of takeaway message, whether it's "Don't let this happen to YOU," or, "Yay, sex!" Except, perhaps, for how desperately American people need a good sex education.
July 31, 2018
I was one of the contributors but apart from the publisher Matt Peters, all the other contributors are new to me so I mainly wanted to comment on my impressions and favourite stories in this collection, which I was happy to submit to. I wasn't sure what to expect - anthologies about sex having the potential to be anti-climatic or a damp squib but that was rather the point! The greater the failure or awkwardness, the better! It hit the right note immediately with the hilarious introduction by co-editors Jennie Jarvis and Lesley Salas, followed by Matt's humorous tale around the choice of the title. All contributions revolve around the awkwardness of sex, and a celebration, if you like, of real life sexual encounters that go wrong, rather than what always seems to go without a hitch in romantic or other novels.
Worth a special mention are: Demon Penis Octopus by Bethany DuVall - both funny and poignant, Love In The Time Of Collies by Lisa Lanser Rose, a hilarious tale (tail?) of when your rescue dog is very distracting during the act, Laid Over by G.B. Lindsey, What You Finally Attend To by Chelsey Clammer and The Penis Fly Trap by Anne Champion, a very funny story about condoms that go missing during the act. But my personal favourite was Paper Cranes by Alex Celine which had freshness and maturity at the same time, as well as wonderful imagery which stayed with me after reading it. I found it hard to believe this was only her first publication! There are many other side-splitting stories too, too numerous to list here, and some wonderfully expressive poetry.
All proceeds of the book go to Planned Parenting.
Worth a special mention are: Demon Penis Octopus by Bethany DuVall - both funny and poignant, Love In The Time Of Collies by Lisa Lanser Rose, a hilarious tale (tail?) of when your rescue dog is very distracting during the act, Laid Over by G.B. Lindsey, What You Finally Attend To by Chelsey Clammer and The Penis Fly Trap by Anne Champion, a very funny story about condoms that go missing during the act. But my personal favourite was Paper Cranes by Alex Celine which had freshness and maturity at the same time, as well as wonderful imagery which stayed with me after reading it. I found it hard to believe this was only her first publication! There are many other side-splitting stories too, too numerous to list here, and some wonderfully expressive poetry.
All proceeds of the book go to Planned Parenting.
April 13, 2018
The forward to Condoms and Hot Tubs Don’t Mix, edited by Jennie Jarvis and Leslie Salas, begins with a typically horrid sex scene including lines like “I must have you,” he said, “and pressed his Cupid’s bow lips firmly against hers” — immediately followed with an explanation of how this book is nothing like this, how the 30 stories, essays and poems in this collection are about real sex, which is awkward and messy.
“Dimanche Gras 2009” by Missy Wilkinson is a short story about two women who run a “mobile stripper party business” in New Orleans. It’s Mardis Gras week, and the girls are not feeling too good. A funny and revealing story about the life of sex workers.
There are a bunch of cute and sexy cartoons by BABS the great about sex gone wrong.
‘Philosophy and Fugue” by Holly Elliott is a excellent little poem with the stanza: “One night you slept on his hand,/The one he used on you. His hand went dead./and in his sleep, he felt it wither, useless,/ as he dreamed of nuclear war.”
“The Killer Whales” by Leah Mueller is a gritty and down-to-earth story about a woman who hitch-hikes from New Orleans to somewhere in Illinois for a one-night stand with an old boyfriend. The writing is clear and smoothly flowing from sentence to sentence, and the story rings true. If the writer did not endure the experience herself, she sure as hell makes it sound as if she did. That’s good writing.
This collection of stories, poems and essays has its ups an downs, but stories like “The Killer Whales” make it worth a read.
“Dimanche Gras 2009” by Missy Wilkinson is a short story about two women who run a “mobile stripper party business” in New Orleans. It’s Mardis Gras week, and the girls are not feeling too good. A funny and revealing story about the life of sex workers.
There are a bunch of cute and sexy cartoons by BABS the great about sex gone wrong.
‘Philosophy and Fugue” by Holly Elliott is a excellent little poem with the stanza: “One night you slept on his hand,/The one he used on you. His hand went dead./and in his sleep, he felt it wither, useless,/ as he dreamed of nuclear war.”
“The Killer Whales” by Leah Mueller is a gritty and down-to-earth story about a woman who hitch-hikes from New Orleans to somewhere in Illinois for a one-night stand with an old boyfriend. The writing is clear and smoothly flowing from sentence to sentence, and the story rings true. If the writer did not endure the experience herself, she sure as hell makes it sound as if she did. That’s good writing.
This collection of stories, poems and essays has its ups an downs, but stories like “The Killer Whales” make it worth a read.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews