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Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith
Becoming Gertrude is one woman’s wisdom on the beauty of spiritual friendship and God’s unfolding grace over the course of a life lived for Him. Jan uses the term spiritual friendship to capture this idea of journeying with others through life, sharing experiences and wisdom and seeking God together. In Becoming Gertrude , Jan wants to be your spiritual friend, sharing what she’s learned and painting a picture of what you might uncover as you seek to develop these kinds of relationships in your own life.
Join Jan in exploring the critical pieces of spiritual hospitality, encouragement, acceptance, serving, and caring. With seasoned wisdom and winsome stories, Jan uses personal experiences to walk you through what each of these things can mean in your life. You can have rich, rewarding, faith-filled friendships that emerge from the everyday rhythms of your days―and Becoming Gertrude will lead you on that journey.
Join Jan in exploring the critical pieces of spiritual hospitality, encouragement, acceptance, serving, and caring. With seasoned wisdom and winsome stories, Jan uses personal experiences to walk you through what each of these things can mean in your life. You can have rich, rewarding, faith-filled friendships that emerge from the everyday rhythms of your days―and Becoming Gertrude will lead you on that journey.
- GenresChristianFriendshipFaith
160 pages, Hardcover
Published November 6, 2018
8 people are currently reading
82 people want to read
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December 13, 2018
In reading Becoming Gertrude by Janice Peterson, I felt like I was having lemonade with a dear lady who was sharing her life wisdom with me. Peterson, in this small book, offers gentle guidance to readers about building quality relationships with the people around you.
Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith has a beautiful introduction about the way of spiritual friendship. Peterson starts out the book by explaining what she means by being spiritual friends with someone. She shares personal stories from the heart throughout the book about friendships she has made throughout her life, as well as lonely times without friends and how she went about building friendships. Peterson shares five elements that lead to quality relationships: caring, acceptance, service, hospitality, and encouragement. At the end of each chapter, there are questions and space to write the answers. At the conclusion of Becoming Gertrude, her husband and author Eugene Peterson write an afterword.
Becoming Gertrude is a small book and rather short at just 124 pages. However, it is full of wisdom and offers the reader a lot to think about in the way of friendships and other relationships. I especially like that Peterson writes as one sharing with you and not looking down on you. Someone once asked Peterson if she would be a spiritual mentor to her. Her response was that she didn't think she could do that but she could be a spiritual friend. Peterson didn't want to be "above" the other person as a mentor but rather wanted to mutually share and encourage each other. I just felt like this dear author was sharing in that way with me, the reader, throughout the book. With the questions at the end of each chapter, Becoming Gertrude would not only make a good read for an individual but would make a great study for any woman's group or small group. I enjoyed my time with Peterson and I would encourage you to read the book and spend time with her too.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review.
Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith has a beautiful introduction about the way of spiritual friendship. Peterson starts out the book by explaining what she means by being spiritual friends with someone. She shares personal stories from the heart throughout the book about friendships she has made throughout her life, as well as lonely times without friends and how she went about building friendships. Peterson shares five elements that lead to quality relationships: caring, acceptance, service, hospitality, and encouragement. At the end of each chapter, there are questions and space to write the answers. At the conclusion of Becoming Gertrude, her husband and author Eugene Peterson write an afterword.
Becoming Gertrude is a small book and rather short at just 124 pages. However, it is full of wisdom and offers the reader a lot to think about in the way of friendships and other relationships. I especially like that Peterson writes as one sharing with you and not looking down on you. Someone once asked Peterson if she would be a spiritual mentor to her. Her response was that she didn't think she could do that but she could be a spiritual friend. Peterson didn't want to be "above" the other person as a mentor but rather wanted to mutually share and encourage each other. I just felt like this dear author was sharing in that way with me, the reader, throughout the book. With the questions at the end of each chapter, Becoming Gertrude would not only make a good read for an individual but would make a great study for any woman's group or small group. I enjoyed my time with Peterson and I would encourage you to read the book and spend time with her too.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review.
January 12, 2021
I spent some lovely mornings reading this little book, reminding myself of how important it is to love and serve people intentionally, as well as creatively and selflessly, and learning from Jen's stories and life of hospitality.
Now I feel like I need to read it again and immerse myself even deeper in these truths.
Now I feel like I need to read it again and immerse myself even deeper in these truths.
February 9, 2019
My daughter got me this little book for Christmas because my mother's name was Gertrude and because she knows how much I have enjoyed the writings of Eugene Peterson, the author's husband. This is a charming little book about friendships and how they are so important in our lives, both having friends and being a friend, and to our faith.
Janice Peterson, in her first published book, shares the wisdom of who she is and her career as a pastor's wife. She never liked the term mentoring, but instead uses the phrase 'spiritual friendships' to describe investing your life in another and back to you. She talks about the importance of community and how the hard work to develop a spiritual friendship is so worth the time and the effort. This is a valuable addition to my bookshelf which I will read again. I cried as I read it because she was describing my mother as she spoke of the Gertrude who had invested in her.
Janice Peterson, in her first published book, shares the wisdom of who she is and her career as a pastor's wife. She never liked the term mentoring, but instead uses the phrase 'spiritual friendships' to describe investing your life in another and back to you. She talks about the importance of community and how the hard work to develop a spiritual friendship is so worth the time and the effort. This is a valuable addition to my bookshelf which I will read again. I cried as I read it because she was describing my mother as she spoke of the Gertrude who had invested in her.
November 1, 2021
This book's premise is about spiritual friendships. And it does a marvelous job addressing spiritual friendships. More importantly, it guides us to be good Christians by encouraging us to embrace service, hospitality, caring and loving each other. The world would be a better place . . .
You can easily read this book in one sitting but you are going to want to stretch it out and give thought and consideration to Jan's lessons. This is one to keep handy as a pick me up.
This book would be a great bible study choice.
You can easily read this book in one sitting but you are going to want to stretch it out and give thought and consideration to Jan's lessons. This is one to keep handy as a pick me up.
This book would be a great bible study choice.
February 14, 2019
“So who’s mentoring whom here?” my friend asked with a mischievous grin.
Good question!
When friends challenge one another with shared books, Scripture reading, and transparent prayer, everyone is sharpened and restored in a way that uniquely shows the love of God. Janice Peterson calls this “spiritual friendship,” and has reached back into her long memory for the purpose of sharing her friend Gertrude, the woman who poured lemonade and listened to Jan’s teen-age thoughts and dreams.
Being seen and valued by a friend who was “always present, always caring,” set Peterson on a course to be that person for others, to live given, and to love well. In Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, Jan remembers lemonade on the porch and shares her deep conviction that friendships can be life-altering in all the best ways.
A spiritual friendship differs from mentoring in that no one takes the lead. There’s no resident expert or hierarchy at work. Instead, spiritual friendship is characterized by an unstructured giving and receiving, “appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer. It’s being willing to share when you need to share and learn when you need to learn. It’s caring for the well-being of the other person, and letting her care for you as well.” (xviii)
Ministering alongside her husband, author and pastor Eugene Peterson, Janice seized the life-enriching opportunities that her role as a pastor’s wife provided for investing in relationships. With rich insights lifted from Romans 12, she has distilled for her readers five elements that have infused her most formative relationships:
Caring
“Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” (Romans 12:1 MSG)
We become caring people with practice, strengthening our awareness of others like a muscle. The author witnessed this outward focus modeled in her long-ago friend Gertrude and has concluded that regardless of gifting and personality, anyone can choose to put others first and pay attention to the needs of others.
As she matured, Peterson found her own caring heart drawn to the larger world. She began to serve on the Fair Housing Committee in her area and to practice cooking and eating habits that demonstrated her concern for the challenge of world hunger.
To become more caring:
Pay attention to those who are doing it well and copy them.
Push down your pride and receive unselfish caring from others.
Take note of the needs of the people God has placed right in front of your eyes.
Acceptance
“Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” (Romans 12:2 MSG)
Peterson warns, “A spiritual friend is someone you enjoy being with, but you may not always find the friendship simple or straightforward.” (30) As a “classic extrovert,” Janice finds it easy to take others at face value, but connecting with those who are more challenging to love can take the special effort of seeking to see the world from their perspective. Ironically, the first step in accepting others may be the task of self-acceptance.
To become more accepting of others:
Connect with them by participating in the things that interest them.
Spend time connecting with God to learn His heart of acceptance for you and for others.
Service
“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.” (Romans 12:11, 12 MSG)
Living her way into God’s calling upon her life, Janice Peterson swam upstream in the 1960’s when other women were leaving their homes in droves to seek employment. Called to be a pastor’s wife and a mother, she has served and loved in her own unique way, motivating others to do likewise by her example.
To serve well:
Be ready to spring into action, loving your community in concrete ways.
Serve courageously when God points out a need that you are able to meet.
Hospitality
“Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. . . Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:13, 16 MSG)
Hospitality puts into practice the caring, serving, and accepting that friendship requires. Taking time to rightly align her readers’ understanding of the term, Peterson defines hospitality through a biblical lens: “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” (67) The welcome of hospitality is a bridge to wholeness as we generously receive others and let them know us, warts and all.
To become more hospitable:
Forget about “entertaining” guests and just enjoy them, feed them, and listen to them.
Start with your family and move in ever widening circles.
Encouragement
“Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:14-16 MSG)
The church provides the perfect backdrop for mutual encouragement as believers motivate one another to acts of service, use of God-given gifts, and a continual focus on God and His faithfulness. Reorienting one another gently toward an others-orientation, we discover the truest and most healthy version of ourselves, and then offer that up as a gift to God. In the process, we also become a gift to others, a spiritual friend, putting on display the caring, accepting, serving, hospitable, encouraging heart of our relational God.
Many thanks to NavPress for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.
Good question!
When friends challenge one another with shared books, Scripture reading, and transparent prayer, everyone is sharpened and restored in a way that uniquely shows the love of God. Janice Peterson calls this “spiritual friendship,” and has reached back into her long memory for the purpose of sharing her friend Gertrude, the woman who poured lemonade and listened to Jan’s teen-age thoughts and dreams.
Being seen and valued by a friend who was “always present, always caring,” set Peterson on a course to be that person for others, to live given, and to love well. In Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, Jan remembers lemonade on the porch and shares her deep conviction that friendships can be life-altering in all the best ways.
A spiritual friendship differs from mentoring in that no one takes the lead. There’s no resident expert or hierarchy at work. Instead, spiritual friendship is characterized by an unstructured giving and receiving, “appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer. It’s being willing to share when you need to share and learn when you need to learn. It’s caring for the well-being of the other person, and letting her care for you as well.” (xviii)
Ministering alongside her husband, author and pastor Eugene Peterson, Janice seized the life-enriching opportunities that her role as a pastor’s wife provided for investing in relationships. With rich insights lifted from Romans 12, she has distilled for her readers five elements that have infused her most formative relationships:
Caring
“Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” (Romans 12:1 MSG)
We become caring people with practice, strengthening our awareness of others like a muscle. The author witnessed this outward focus modeled in her long-ago friend Gertrude and has concluded that regardless of gifting and personality, anyone can choose to put others first and pay attention to the needs of others.
As she matured, Peterson found her own caring heart drawn to the larger world. She began to serve on the Fair Housing Committee in her area and to practice cooking and eating habits that demonstrated her concern for the challenge of world hunger.
To become more caring:
Pay attention to those who are doing it well and copy them.
Push down your pride and receive unselfish caring from others.
Take note of the needs of the people God has placed right in front of your eyes.
Acceptance
“Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.” (Romans 12:2 MSG)
Peterson warns, “A spiritual friend is someone you enjoy being with, but you may not always find the friendship simple or straightforward.” (30) As a “classic extrovert,” Janice finds it easy to take others at face value, but connecting with those who are more challenging to love can take the special effort of seeking to see the world from their perspective. Ironically, the first step in accepting others may be the task of self-acceptance.
To become more accepting of others:
Connect with them by participating in the things that interest them.
Spend time connecting with God to learn His heart of acceptance for you and for others.
Service
“Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.” (Romans 12:11, 12 MSG)
Living her way into God’s calling upon her life, Janice Peterson swam upstream in the 1960’s when other women were leaving their homes in droves to seek employment. Called to be a pastor’s wife and a mother, she has served and loved in her own unique way, motivating others to do likewise by her example.
To serve well:
Be ready to spring into action, loving your community in concrete ways.
Serve courageously when God points out a need that you are able to meet.
Hospitality
“Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. . . Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:13, 16 MSG)
Hospitality puts into practice the caring, serving, and accepting that friendship requires. Taking time to rightly align her readers’ understanding of the term, Peterson defines hospitality through a biblical lens: “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way.” (67) The welcome of hospitality is a bridge to wholeness as we generously receive others and let them know us, warts and all.
To become more hospitable:
Forget about “entertaining” guests and just enjoy them, feed them, and listen to them.
Start with your family and move in ever widening circles.
Encouragement
“Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.” (Romans 12:14-16 MSG)
The church provides the perfect backdrop for mutual encouragement as believers motivate one another to acts of service, use of God-given gifts, and a continual focus on God and His faithfulness. Reorienting one another gently toward an others-orientation, we discover the truest and most healthy version of ourselves, and then offer that up as a gift to God. In the process, we also become a gift to others, a spiritual friend, putting on display the caring, accepting, serving, hospitable, encouraging heart of our relational God.
Many thanks to NavPress for providing a copy of this book to facilitate my review, which, of course, is offered freely and with honesty.
November 16, 2018
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by the Tyndale Blog Network. All thoughts and opinions are my own.]
Without having a particularly fond view of the author herself, I found the subject matter and approach of this book to be immensely worthwhile. As a reader with a rather dim view of the sort of politically leftist social Gospel views that the author has and which peek through on occasion in these pages, there was certainly material here that I did not appreciate particularly greatly. That said, to the writer's credit she does not dwell on such divisive matters but instead chooses to focus on the importance of spiritual friendships that help build up and encourage the believer from her own life as the wife of a Presbyterian pastor who happens to be a prolific author (perhaps best known as the translator of the Message Bible) [1]. So, while I would not want to be Janice Peterson, this book does encourage us all on how to become Gertude, a friend and neighbor she had as a young person who helped encourage her in her faith.
This is a short book of a bit more than 100 pages when its lengthy introduction is included, and the work is divided into five chapters about different aspects of spiritual friendship that readers can cultivate in their lives. Each of these chapters closes with questions that the reader can answer to reflect upon their own spiritual lives and friendships with others as well. The author begins with a discussion on caring, and our choice to see others, which the author demonstrates through an account of her bleeding heart activist ways that predictably led to conflict with others (1). After that there is a discussion of acceptance in receiving what is offered (2), an area of life that we must all learn to be more gracious in, as it is easier to give than to receive in Christian culture. The author talks about service, showing some thoughtfulness in how it is that people give of themselves through their God-given talents and abilities (3). She then proceeds to discuss hospitality on how we reach out and bring in others to our lives (4), which includes a poignant story of how for a time she and her husband helped take care for three motherless children in need. Finally, the author concludes with a discussion of the vital aspect of encouragement in building others up (5), after which there is an epilogue and a thoughtful afterward by the author's husband.
A large part of the reason this book comes off relatively well despite the antipathy I have for the author's activism and political worldview is because she does not portray herself as someone who has it all together but instead as someone who has obvious human flaws. She also points to her own reluctance to serve, her own tendency to be distracted by shiny things (like a beautiful desk) rather than useful things (like a dryer), which makes sense given her worldview faults. The fact that the author points to others as being great examples of friendship to her, including an ex-priest who laicized and married in the aftermath of Vatican II and an unmarried engineer with a genuine fondness for children, gives this book a great deal of goodwill. In all likelihood, I would have been very savage and unsympathetic to the views of the author had she been writing a feminist critique of capitalism or a discussion of her political activism, but there is a great deal I agree with in this book on spiritual friendship, and I can confidently say that I aspire to be and seek to have the sort of spiritual friendships discussed in this book, no matter how isolated my existence may be. Likely other readers will feel the same way.
[1] He also wrote this classic:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2018...
Without having a particularly fond view of the author herself, I found the subject matter and approach of this book to be immensely worthwhile. As a reader with a rather dim view of the sort of politically leftist social Gospel views that the author has and which peek through on occasion in these pages, there was certainly material here that I did not appreciate particularly greatly. That said, to the writer's credit she does not dwell on such divisive matters but instead chooses to focus on the importance of spiritual friendships that help build up and encourage the believer from her own life as the wife of a Presbyterian pastor who happens to be a prolific author (perhaps best known as the translator of the Message Bible) [1]. So, while I would not want to be Janice Peterson, this book does encourage us all on how to become Gertude, a friend and neighbor she had as a young person who helped encourage her in her faith.
This is a short book of a bit more than 100 pages when its lengthy introduction is included, and the work is divided into five chapters about different aspects of spiritual friendship that readers can cultivate in their lives. Each of these chapters closes with questions that the reader can answer to reflect upon their own spiritual lives and friendships with others as well. The author begins with a discussion on caring, and our choice to see others, which the author demonstrates through an account of her bleeding heart activist ways that predictably led to conflict with others (1). After that there is a discussion of acceptance in receiving what is offered (2), an area of life that we must all learn to be more gracious in, as it is easier to give than to receive in Christian culture. The author talks about service, showing some thoughtfulness in how it is that people give of themselves through their God-given talents and abilities (3). She then proceeds to discuss hospitality on how we reach out and bring in others to our lives (4), which includes a poignant story of how for a time she and her husband helped take care for three motherless children in need. Finally, the author concludes with a discussion of the vital aspect of encouragement in building others up (5), after which there is an epilogue and a thoughtful afterward by the author's husband.
A large part of the reason this book comes off relatively well despite the antipathy I have for the author's activism and political worldview is because she does not portray herself as someone who has it all together but instead as someone who has obvious human flaws. She also points to her own reluctance to serve, her own tendency to be distracted by shiny things (like a beautiful desk) rather than useful things (like a dryer), which makes sense given her worldview faults. The fact that the author points to others as being great examples of friendship to her, including an ex-priest who laicized and married in the aftermath of Vatican II and an unmarried engineer with a genuine fondness for children, gives this book a great deal of goodwill. In all likelihood, I would have been very savage and unsympathetic to the views of the author had she been writing a feminist critique of capitalism or a discussion of her political activism, but there is a great deal I agree with in this book on spiritual friendship, and I can confidently say that I aspire to be and seek to have the sort of spiritual friendships discussed in this book, no matter how isolated my existence may be. Likely other readers will feel the same way.
[1] He also wrote this classic:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2018...
November 28, 2018
How many close friends do you have? Really close.
Do you have any spiritual friends?
Before I read this book, I had not connected “spiritual” with “friend.”
“Spiritual friendship is learning to see the worth God has placed in each person and appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer.” (p. xviii)
In her first book, Janice Peterson, wife of pastor and author Eugene Peterson, reveals how her journey of life-long spiritual friendships started with one invitation when she was 13-years-old.
The friendship started with her neighbor, Gertrude.
“Come in – I’ll get us some lemonade. You go out to the porch.” (p. xiv)
As I read this book, I felt as if I were at my grandmother’s kitchen table eating rhubarb pie. I loved talking with Momo about God, the Bible, school, girlfriends, and family.
Based on Romans 12, Jan walks us along the “Way of Spiritual Friendship,” as she discusses five aspects of spiritual friendship.
Caring: Choosing to See Others. Intentionally seeing the needs of others.
“Caring is choosing to see someone. Choosing to be with them right where they are. Choosing to connect with them and listen to what they need.” (p. 23)
Acceptance: Receiving What is Offered. It is choosing to invest in others, even when it is difficult.
Service: Caring in Action. If we care for someone; if we see the needs of others, we must act; we must serve.
“Service has a way of inspiring others to see the areas of need around them and step out of their comfort zones to help someone else.” (pp. 56-57)
Hospitality: Reaching Out and Bringing In. Gertrude showed Jan hospitality when she stopped what she was doing and invited Jan to enjoy lemonade with her on the porch.
Encouragement: Building Others Up. Encouragement is speaking life and hope to another person. (p. 97)
I reread Romans 12 in light of Jan’s approach to spiritual friendship and smiled. Interesting insight.
Each chapter is filled with examples and experiences that we can apply to our daily lies.
Questions and opportunities for reflection at the end of the chapter make this book a good candidate for a 5-week Bible study.
I look forward to reading more books by Jan Peterson. She has much to offer, and I feel like I’m already her spiritual friend. I hope to meet her someday.
Before his death, Pastor Peterson, author of The Message Bible, wrote of his wife of 60 years.
While I have written extensively on spiritual theology, she has practiced the art of spiritual friendship, “always present, always caring.” She is the most practical theologian I know. Through the deeply personal friendships she has invested herself in over the course of a lifetime, she has become more her God-created self in the company of others. (p. 124)
I imagine Pastor Peterson is smiling from heaven. He stepped into heaven shortly before the book was available.
You can download an excerpt of Becoming Gertrude on the Tyndale website.
I received a copy of Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith from the publisher for my honest review.
December 4, 2018
I have a beautiful, wonderful, friend. She's someone for whom I had looked for many years. I have another beautiful, wonderful, friend who has been my friend for more than 40 years. Both of these women speak caring, acceptance, service, hospitality, and encouragement into my life. Both of them do friendship in their own way and I can trust them, love them, cry with them, be silent with them, and they know they can do the same with me.
Becoming Gertrude is the crowning touch of a life of relationships and good friendships that have shaped the faith of Janice Peterson. The pages of this delightful, small book are full of stories that help the reader see how important friendship is in the life of a Christian woman. Using the character traits mentioned above (caring, acceptance, service, hospitality, and encouragement) Mrs. Peterson shares how her life has been enriched by other women.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book are:
Good friends challenge us in the areas where we are weak and encourage us forward. pp.xxvii
Caring for someone isn't about you--it's about the other person. pp. 23
We must learn to navigate disagreements and life differences with grace, understanding that friendship is more important than being right all the time. pp. 32
Some of us are called in certain ways to serve, but we are all called to be servants, whatever our gifts are. No one's gift is more significant than anyone else's! pp. 47
Friendship grows best in intentionality, and hospitality is the warmest kind of intentionality there is.
Our friends can be those who fill us up, who build encouragement into our lives so that we can then do the same in theirs and others'.
Bible verses from the Message by Eugene Peterson that support strong friendships:
Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Romans 12:2
Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. Romans 12:14-16
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Becoming Gertrude is the crowning touch of a life of relationships and good friendships that have shaped the faith of Janice Peterson. The pages of this delightful, small book are full of stories that help the reader see how important friendship is in the life of a Christian woman. Using the character traits mentioned above (caring, acceptance, service, hospitality, and encouragement) Mrs. Peterson shares how her life has been enriched by other women.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book are:
Good friends challenge us in the areas where we are weak and encourage us forward. pp.xxvii
Caring for someone isn't about you--it's about the other person. pp. 23
We must learn to navigate disagreements and life differences with grace, understanding that friendship is more important than being right all the time. pp. 32
Some of us are called in certain ways to serve, but we are all called to be servants, whatever our gifts are. No one's gift is more significant than anyone else's! pp. 47
Friendship grows best in intentionality, and hospitality is the warmest kind of intentionality there is.
Our friends can be those who fill us up, who build encouragement into our lives so that we can then do the same in theirs and others'.
Bible verses from the Message by Eugene Peterson that support strong friendships:
Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Romans 12:2
Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. Romans 12:14-16
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
November 29, 2018
My 64th book for the year. Friends are my favorite. Really. I’ve written about friendship several times before. My favorite TV show is Friends, I’m currently reading a book about the show “Friends” (I’ll Be There For You: The One About Friends), my most-loved childhood cartoon is The Fox and the Hound, and nothing fills my oversized coffee mug like time with friends.
I’m in a season of life in which I no longer take time with friends for granted. I seek it out like water in the desert and treasure it when found. When offered the opportunity to read and review Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, I jumped at the chance. The subtitle spoke to a seeking part of my soul. But I was initially disappointed, feeling like this little book misrepresented itself. I got all the way to the end, closed the cover and thought, “That book wasn’t about friendship at all! It’s about service! Oh.”
A light bulb went off. Maybe that’s the point.
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The author, Janice Peterson, teaches that “you can’t separate caring from service in spiritual friendship”. It takes time and creativity to be a good friend, but so much growth comes from it. She says, in fact, that when this kind of hospitality is done well, “you experience something profound. Something like the Jewish word shalom – a sense of wholeness.” I was reminded that giving myself away doesn’t have to be a big thing – just an intentional one. And it requires slowing down. “Giving people space and a listening ear and heart are often rare in today’s world. And people are hungry for it, whether they’re aware of it or not.”
I confess I’ve been so concerned with what I’ve missed receiving from time with friends that I haven’t really thought about what I’m not giving. Selfishness works that way, I guess. When I opened my eyes to those around me I found someone dealing with chronic pain who is weary. But after spending some time with her, I learned she is also a hoot! And I saw a church member with no one to drive her home from major surgery and discovered a strong and faithful warrior who encourages me to be better. When I volunteered to help some friends with a big project – well, I just helped. Not every act of faithfulness gives immediate warm fuzzies. But…
Maybe…just maybe… friendship and service share a lot in common after all.
(All links in this post are affiliate links. Please see my Policies page for more information on affiliate links.)
I’m in a season of life in which I no longer take time with friends for granted. I seek it out like water in the desert and treasure it when found. When offered the opportunity to read and review Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith, I jumped at the chance. The subtitle spoke to a seeking part of my soul. But I was initially disappointed, feeling like this little book misrepresented itself. I got all the way to the end, closed the cover and thought, “That book wasn’t about friendship at all! It’s about service! Oh.”
A light bulb went off. Maybe that’s the point.
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The author, Janice Peterson, teaches that “you can’t separate caring from service in spiritual friendship”. It takes time and creativity to be a good friend, but so much growth comes from it. She says, in fact, that when this kind of hospitality is done well, “you experience something profound. Something like the Jewish word shalom – a sense of wholeness.” I was reminded that giving myself away doesn’t have to be a big thing – just an intentional one. And it requires slowing down. “Giving people space and a listening ear and heart are often rare in today’s world. And people are hungry for it, whether they’re aware of it or not.”
I confess I’ve been so concerned with what I’ve missed receiving from time with friends that I haven’t really thought about what I’m not giving. Selfishness works that way, I guess. When I opened my eyes to those around me I found someone dealing with chronic pain who is weary. But after spending some time with her, I learned she is also a hoot! And I saw a church member with no one to drive her home from major surgery and discovered a strong and faithful warrior who encourages me to be better. When I volunteered to help some friends with a big project – well, I just helped. Not every act of faithfulness gives immediate warm fuzzies. But…
Maybe…just maybe… friendship and service share a lot in common after all.
(All links in this post are affiliate links. Please see my Policies page for more information on affiliate links.)
January 14, 2019
Sometimes, you read a book because you're familiar with someone they're connected with. Case in point, Eugene Peterson and Janice Peterson. Having read excerpts from the Message and several other books from Eugene, I was curious as to what Janice would have to share. I'm so glad that I took a peek.
In Becoming Gertrude, Janice Peterson shares not only what we can give in friendship to others but also a reminder of the things that we receive. In today's culture, it's very easy to become disconnected or to believe that reading updates about one another's life on a regular basis means that we are connected. The hardships, struggles, difficulties in friendship are discussed in this small book in a way that encourages the reader to reach out of a place of safety to increase their circle of friendship in real ways.
Right from the beginning, the purpose of the book is clearly stated as friendship and not mentorship. The relationship put forth in this book is not one of a hierarchy but of a bond between two people. She talks about how some bonds are more difficult than others to maintain and she shares about those ever so special someones that walk alongside you during your journey that encourage and sustain.
Overall, this book reminds me of a course correction. When a ship changes its course ever so slightly, it dramatically changes the end location. With just a few small changes in the way that we encounter people, we can gather an ever-growing community of friends, spiritual friends. The advice she gives isn't outrageous, it's not going to take some amazing feat of will-power to accomplish. It's going to happen in the small changes along the way. By being open to the gift of spiritual friendship, we may find that we make honest connections that move beyond social updates and passing hellos.
A copy of this book was given to me by Tyndale House Publishers for the purpose of review. I'm never required to give positive feedback, but I'm always thankful when I can.
In Becoming Gertrude, Janice Peterson shares not only what we can give in friendship to others but also a reminder of the things that we receive. In today's culture, it's very easy to become disconnected or to believe that reading updates about one another's life on a regular basis means that we are connected. The hardships, struggles, difficulties in friendship are discussed in this small book in a way that encourages the reader to reach out of a place of safety to increase their circle of friendship in real ways.
Right from the beginning, the purpose of the book is clearly stated as friendship and not mentorship. The relationship put forth in this book is not one of a hierarchy but of a bond between two people. She talks about how some bonds are more difficult than others to maintain and she shares about those ever so special someones that walk alongside you during your journey that encourage and sustain.
Overall, this book reminds me of a course correction. When a ship changes its course ever so slightly, it dramatically changes the end location. With just a few small changes in the way that we encounter people, we can gather an ever-growing community of friends, spiritual friends. The advice she gives isn't outrageous, it's not going to take some amazing feat of will-power to accomplish. It's going to happen in the small changes along the way. By being open to the gift of spiritual friendship, we may find that we make honest connections that move beyond social updates and passing hellos.
A copy of this book was given to me by Tyndale House Publishers for the purpose of review. I'm never required to give positive feedback, but I'm always thankful when I can.
December 24, 2018
Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith by Janice Peterson is a small sweet book on the beauty and impact of friendships in our lives. The book is a short read which leaves you feeling like you have had a visit with a dear friend.
The author begins with sharing of a relationship which left its mark on her entire life – Gertrude. Through this one friend, she learned the lesson of living “in the rhythm of encouragement, speaking life and hope often” (page xxvii).
The book is broken down into five chapters, each introducing a key component of friendship:
Caring – intentionally choosing to see and address the needs of others. Caring means looking outside of ourselves and being moved to action.
Acceptance – means appreciating each other’s differences and recognizing we are all in the process of becoming who God has created us to be.
Service – intentionally focusing on the needs of others. Caring and service go hand in hand.
Hospitality – is defined as “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way” (page 67).
Encouragement – offers hope in dark times and points a person towards life.
In writing about his wife, Eugene Peterson stated:
“While I have written extensively on spiritual theology, she has practiced the art of spiritual friendship, “always present, always caring.” She is the most practical theologian I know.” (taken from page 124)
Upon closing the last page, you will feel called to build better and stronger friendships as you go through the journey of life.
May we each be challenged to become “practical theologians”.
*Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions are all my own.
The author begins with sharing of a relationship which left its mark on her entire life – Gertrude. Through this one friend, she learned the lesson of living “in the rhythm of encouragement, speaking life and hope often” (page xxvii).
The book is broken down into five chapters, each introducing a key component of friendship:
Caring – intentionally choosing to see and address the needs of others. Caring means looking outside of ourselves and being moved to action.
Acceptance – means appreciating each other’s differences and recognizing we are all in the process of becoming who God has created us to be.
Service – intentionally focusing on the needs of others. Caring and service go hand in hand.
Hospitality – is defined as “the welcoming reception and treatment of guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way” (page 67).
Encouragement – offers hope in dark times and points a person towards life.
In writing about his wife, Eugene Peterson stated:
“While I have written extensively on spiritual theology, she has practiced the art of spiritual friendship, “always present, always caring.” She is the most practical theologian I know.” (taken from page 124)
Upon closing the last page, you will feel called to build better and stronger friendships as you go through the journey of life.
May we each be challenged to become “practical theologians”.
*Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions are all my own.
March 18, 2019
I am sharing my thoughts on Becoming Gertrude by Janice Peterson. Let me start by saying that I wanted to like this book from the beginning. It is from NavPress and that automatically makes it interesting to me.
There were a lot of things in this book that I really liked. My absolute favorite thing was her mentioning of the fact that "spiritual mentor-ship" gives the impression that there is some kind of hierarchy in the Christian faith when in fact we are all equal at the food of the cross. She recommends instead "spiritual friendships" where you share one another's burdens and joys in Christ. That is awesome and I have never seen that in a Christian book before!
However...
As the author tells several stories about her interactions with various friends I came to realize that she has absolutely no problem with women being friends with men that are not their husbands. These are not casual friendships either. These are the kind with inside jokes and meeting together for extended periods of time, confiding and sharing intimate life details. While this author may have had the maturity to keep her heart in check I am willing to bet 75% of her target audience won't have the same discipline. Due to that fact alone, I cannot in good conscience give this book anything higher than a C- and I cannot recommend it to fellow believers.
There were a lot of things in this book that I really liked. My absolute favorite thing was her mentioning of the fact that "spiritual mentor-ship" gives the impression that there is some kind of hierarchy in the Christian faith when in fact we are all equal at the food of the cross. She recommends instead "spiritual friendships" where you share one another's burdens and joys in Christ. That is awesome and I have never seen that in a Christian book before!
However...
As the author tells several stories about her interactions with various friends I came to realize that she has absolutely no problem with women being friends with men that are not their husbands. These are not casual friendships either. These are the kind with inside jokes and meeting together for extended periods of time, confiding and sharing intimate life details. While this author may have had the maturity to keep her heart in check I am willing to bet 75% of her target audience won't have the same discipline. Due to that fact alone, I cannot in good conscience give this book anything higher than a C- and I cannot recommend it to fellow believers.
May 28, 2021
Sweet simple books about being influenced in our faith through our friendships. Her general topics are caring, acceptance, service, hospitality and encouragement, and she reflects on these aspects in her own life.
P. 55: my young friend Debbie tilt me that one of their parishioners said to her, “in our last church, the pastor’s wife did such and such,�� suggesting that Debbie should be doing that too. Debbie asked me, “ how should I respond to that kind of thing?” I told Debbie to just thank her and say something like, “she must have been a wonderful woman.” And leave it at that. I encouraged her to live her life as a pastor’s wife, serving out of her faith journey and her own gifts, not out of others’ expectations. ...when expectations are imposed on you, you can’t discover those gifts.
P. 81: the apostle Paul’s treatise on freedom from the epistle to the Galatians reads like this in The Message:
“It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.
-Galatians 5:13-14
P. 55: my young friend Debbie tilt me that one of their parishioners said to her, “in our last church, the pastor’s wife did such and such,�� suggesting that Debbie should be doing that too. Debbie asked me, “ how should I respond to that kind of thing?” I told Debbie to just thank her and say something like, “she must have been a wonderful woman.” And leave it at that. I encouraged her to live her life as a pastor’s wife, serving out of her faith journey and her own gifts, not out of others’ expectations. ...when expectations are imposed on you, you can’t discover those gifts.
P. 81: the apostle Paul’s treatise on freedom from the epistle to the Galatians reads like this in The Message:
“It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom.
-Galatians 5:13-14
January 2, 2019
Friendship is significant to women of all ages, but often a tricky thing to develop and maintain over time and different seasons if depth and growth are to be hallmarks of the relationship.
Into this arena comes Janice Peterson in a new book entitled Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith. Janice learned about lifelong bonds of friendship when a Southern neighbor invited her onto her back porch for lemonade and conversation. That seemingly casual relationship began to shape Janice’s faith and views on friendship that has been deepened by the wisdom of an octogenarian who lived as the wife of Eugene Peterson for more than 60 years.
Janice identifies and writes about five elements of spiritual friendship − caring, accepting, serving, offering hospitality, and encouraging others. She notes that each of these “overlaps and flows through the others, creating a strong cord of friendship that cannot be broken.”
This little book offers treasured insights from Janice that you will want to tuck into your heart.
Into this arena comes Janice Peterson in a new book entitled Becoming Gertrude: How Our Friendships Shape Our Faith. Janice learned about lifelong bonds of friendship when a Southern neighbor invited her onto her back porch for lemonade and conversation. That seemingly casual relationship began to shape Janice’s faith and views on friendship that has been deepened by the wisdom of an octogenarian who lived as the wife of Eugene Peterson for more than 60 years.
Janice identifies and writes about five elements of spiritual friendship − caring, accepting, serving, offering hospitality, and encouraging others. She notes that each of these “overlaps and flows through the others, creating a strong cord of friendship that cannot be broken.”
This little book offers treasured insights from Janice that you will want to tuck into your heart.
October 4, 2019
I watched a wonderful video with Bono arriving at the Peterson's house in Montana to talk about Eugene Peterson's translation of the Psalms: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l40S.... In the video Janice hugs Bono and graciously welcomes him into their home.
When this book came out, I knew I wanted to read it and find out more about this lovely, Bono-welcoming woman.
The title comes from a friendship Janice formed as a child with a neighbor named Gertrude. She explains, "Her loving friendship showed me how powerful it can be to live a life of being readily available to others--to listen to care for them, to engage with their lives."
Later in the book she writes, "When I offer hospitality, something amazing happens--so much more than I have anything to do with. An exchange takes place. Our guests bring who they are with them and enlarge our lives in their offerings."
And I do think Bono would agree.
When this book came out, I knew I wanted to read it and find out more about this lovely, Bono-welcoming woman.
The title comes from a friendship Janice formed as a child with a neighbor named Gertrude. She explains, "Her loving friendship showed me how powerful it can be to live a life of being readily available to others--to listen to care for them, to engage with their lives."
Later in the book she writes, "When I offer hospitality, something amazing happens--so much more than I have anything to do with. An exchange takes place. Our guests bring who they are with them and enlarge our lives in their offerings."
And I do think Bono would agree.
October 25, 2018
This little gem of a book is about the beauty of godly friendship and tips for how to cultivate that in your own life. I feel like this book is absolutely perfect for the season of life I am in right now, as I realize that deep friendships truly are worth gold and a word fitly spoken is priceless.
Drawing from her own life and the life of those around her I love how the author draws you in and gives sage advice, it really feels like you are sitting across from her drinking tea!
Small in pages but mighty in message this book is well written and utterly engaging. I could hardly put it down and felt encouraged and uplifted, ready to reach my hand out to those around me and be that friend I am called to be.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
Drawing from her own life and the life of those around her I love how the author draws you in and gives sage advice, it really feels like you are sitting across from her drinking tea!
Small in pages but mighty in message this book is well written and utterly engaging. I could hardly put it down and felt encouraged and uplifted, ready to reach my hand out to those around me and be that friend I am called to be.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
February 15, 2019
Someone has said that behind every great man is a great woman--often we don't know much about those women. Several years ago I eagerly read It's My Turn by Ruth Bell Graham--the "at home" side of Billy Graham's life. Becoming Gertrude, Janice Peterson's memoir, gave me her perspective on life with Eugene, her pastor, writer, and theologian husband.
What a gentle, delightful, loving look into what Jan calls Spiritual Friendship and how that idea is lived out in the day to day. She defines "spiritual friendship" as "learning to see the worth God has placed in each person and appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer." It's giving and receiving. Jan introduces the elements of spiritual friendship that have been most significant in her life: caring, accepting, serving, offering hospitality, and encouraging others. She explains each, giving the value of each, and then illustrates each by using numerous examples from her own experience. What she shares is very practical. While she speaks from the position of a pastor's
wife, any woman who wants to grow in grace and friendship will appreciate this small volume.
I've read the book twice, savoring the warmth and gracious observations of this thoughtful woman.
What a gentle, delightful, loving look into what Jan calls Spiritual Friendship and how that idea is lived out in the day to day. She defines "spiritual friendship" as "learning to see the worth God has placed in each person and appreciating the gifts individuals have to offer." It's giving and receiving. Jan introduces the elements of spiritual friendship that have been most significant in her life: caring, accepting, serving, offering hospitality, and encouraging others. She explains each, giving the value of each, and then illustrates each by using numerous examples from her own experience. What she shares is very practical. While she speaks from the position of a pastor's
wife, any woman who wants to grow in grace and friendship will appreciate this small volume.
I've read the book twice, savoring the warmth and gracious observations of this thoughtful woman.
January 7, 2023
Quick easy & engaging read about the power of friendships in our lives. The author is the wife of Eugene Peterson, writer of The Message. Jan relates how friendships influenced her spiritual growth by: Caring, Acceptance, Service, Hospitality, and Encouragement. Good reminders of how to live a life that matters.
November 18, 2018
I received a complimentary copy.
The encouragement and sweetness of the book and the way it makes me feel comforted when reading, is really the main things I like. The author presents a good quality reading time and a look at real faith based friendship.
The encouragement and sweetness of the book and the way it makes me feel comforted when reading, is really the main things I like. The author presents a good quality reading time and a look at real faith based friendship.
March 18, 2019
Janice Peterson speaks profoundly to those of us who seek intimacy in friendships. I appreciated how conversion isn't the goal of spiritual friendship, but growing together in wholeness is. I'm sure I'll revisit this as I go through the many seasons of life.
February 3, 2019
Food for thought - written by Eugene Peterson's widow. Quote "We are all called to be servants, whatever our gifts are. No one's gift is more significant than anyone else's."
January 1, 2022
I loved reading this book and seeing how Janice Peterson worked alongside and complimented Eugene. I can't believe she wrote this book in her 80's.
February 17, 2022
A beautifully simple book on spiritual friendship. Simple in that it reminded me not to over-complicate the way I approach friendships in my own life.
August 24, 2022
I loved this little book by Janice Peterson, Eugene Peterson's wife. It's about spiritual friendship and how we live our ordinary lives together and so much more.
December 29, 2018
What a beautiful little book! Jan Peterson offers wisdom from her years of experience - and combines memoir, personal experience and practical theology. It is a great read on building real, authentic spiritual friendships.
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