Cops, Cons, and Grace: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Suicide

by Brian Cahill, Dan Willis (Foreword)

A decade ago Brian Cahill became the victim of the greatest tragedy any parent can endure with the loss of his firstborn son, a veteran police officer in the aftermath of a painful divorce, to suicide. Far from the carefree retirement he had envisioned, the devastated father faced a journey back from the brink of utter despair. As the author of numerous opinion pieces and essays on religion, the lifelong Catholic was familiar with the concept that the cross is followed by the resurrection, and that from death comes new life. In the devastating years following his beloved son's suicide, the abstract became very real. Cahill's work volunteering with two different groups--cops and cons--saved him, allowing him to eventually experience a measure of grace. The unlikely combination of working with SFPD officers on suicide prevention and leading a spirituality group for San Quentin lifers brought him enough of a sense of peace and acceptance to truly want to continue living. "Cops, Cons, and Grace is a moving, inspirational journey into grief, despair, and ultimate reconciliation prompted by the author's loss of a police officer son to suicide. Written with tears and tenderness, Brian Cahill explores his own loss and the ongoing, national crisis of suicide in law enforcement. . . . Cahill came to craft a masterpiece of writing, a touching and insightful piece of literature that should be read by police officers, their families, those in the helping profession--and anyone touched by the tragedy of suicide." --Andy O'Hara, Founder, Badge of Life "Brian Cahill's story of his son's death provides us all with something more than science; it opens the door to the why's of suicide among police officers. I hope that all who read this touching book will walk away with a better understanding of these men and women who serve and protect us from harm. More importantly, I hope that all will better acknowledge the psychological danger of being a cop. Sometimes that danger is more than what happens on the street." --John M. Violanti, Author of Police Epidemic in Blue "Heartbreaking, courageous, and generous. A deeply spiritual man, Brian Cahill turns a father's love and grief over the suicide of his police officer son into a gift. If you know a cop, a convict, or the pain of loss, Cahill's memoir will give you hope." --Ellen Kirschman, Author of I Love a Cop "Authentic, evocative, and transformative, this journey of healing and hope captures the heart of any reader who has been a parent, a counselor, a peace officer or any combination of these." --Eve Myer, Executive Director, San Francisco Suicide Prevention "A riveting story of God's grace and healing in the face of the most profound loss and grief. Brian Cahill's compassionate work with both prisoners and law-enforcement officers, after the suicide of his son, is a compelling testimony of faith, hope and love." --James Martin, Author of Jesus a Pilgrimage Brian Cahill is the retired executive director of San Francisco Catholic Charities. He is a volunteer suicide prevention trainer for the San Francisco and San Jose Police Departments and a volunteer in prison ministry. He has published articles on cops and suicide as well as religion and public policy in the San Francisco Chronicle, National Catholic Reporter, and CNN Online. Brian lives in San Francisco with his wife Donna. He is the father of four, grandfather of two and recently became a great-grandfather. For more information, visit www.briancahillwriter.com.

181 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 14, 2018

Reviews

[Kristi L. Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotionally powerful

I am a 19 year police veteran. I see the stress around me. I have not lost anyone close to me to suicide, but I can see how the job can lead one down that dark path. His heartfelt descriptions of his brief process frequently brought me to tears. I am fortunate to work for a department with a wellness unit and peer support devoted to the support and care of officers. I would suggest this book to anyone interested in a moving story. Any police officer. Any one who has lost someone to suicide. Excellent book.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Throughout the whole book, you can feel the author's love for his son & the pain he feels the loss of that same son. It takes a lot of courage to tell such a personal story & he does it in the hope of making police & first responders aware of the dangers hidden within their jobs. Not only does he try to help the police, etc. but he goes to the opposite extreme, into the prison, & works with the convicts.