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Jatla is not a Sh*thole: A Fantasy Online Novella
A goblin. His proof of manhood. The bad hombre who wants it.
What starts as an innocent game of three cards with an ink shadow quickly escalates into Hiccup (the goblin, not the bodily function) stupidly betting his proof of manhood.
To save himself from possible castration, Hiccup has less than twenty-four hours to put on a parade, arrange a sensual massage, get a table at a Michelin star restaurant, and book a night at the most expensive hotel in Jatla, all with the hopes of appeasing the ink shadow (yes, the one whom he bet his penis to), and proving to the shadow that Jatla, the infamous goblin city, is not a sh*thole.
Of course, everyone knows Jatla is a sh*thole, including Hiccup, which only makes his task that much harder.
You didn't ask for it, but here it is. A goblin tale of deception filled with action, orcs, magic, ogres, a weretiger in a leather jacket, toilet humor, and utter fickery set in the Fantasy Online universe.
Trigger warning: If what is written above doesn't in any way offend you, and/or if you've read the Fantasy Online series, you're good (very good in fact, you're a high-quality person, read this now!). If not, proceed with the utmost caution.
What starts as an innocent game of three cards with an ink shadow quickly escalates into Hiccup (the goblin, not the bodily function) stupidly betting his proof of manhood.
To save himself from possible castration, Hiccup has less than twenty-four hours to put on a parade, arrange a sensual massage, get a table at a Michelin star restaurant, and book a night at the most expensive hotel in Jatla, all with the hopes of appeasing the ink shadow (yes, the one whom he bet his penis to), and proving to the shadow that Jatla, the infamous goblin city, is not a sh*thole.
Of course, everyone knows Jatla is a sh*thole, including Hiccup, which only makes his task that much harder.
You didn't ask for it, but here it is. A goblin tale of deception filled with action, orcs, magic, ogres, a weretiger in a leather jacket, toilet humor, and utter fickery set in the Fantasy Online universe.
Trigger warning: If what is written above doesn't in any way offend you, and/or if you've read the Fantasy Online series, you're good (very good in fact, you're a high-quality person, read this now!). If not, proceed with the utmost caution.
97 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 2, 2018
9 people are currently reading
14 people want to read
About the author
Harmon Cooper
143 books367 followersHarmon Cooper is the author of over sixty fantasy works. His bestselling series include Pilgrim, War Priest, Cowboy Necromancer, and Tokens and Towers.
His series, The Feedback Loop, is one of the earlier GameLit works first published in 2015. An earphone award winner for the series Death's Mantle, Harmon won the LitRPG/GameLit Audiobook of the Year award for Sacred Cat Island, narrated by Legends and Lattes author Travis Baldree.
Harmon write progression fantasy, cultivation fantasy, and LitRPG/GameLit.
His series, The Feedback Loop, is one of the earlier GameLit works first published in 2015. An earphone award winner for the series Death's Mantle, Harmon won the LitRPG/GameLit Audiobook of the Year award for Sacred Cat Island, narrated by Legends and Lattes author Travis Baldree.
Harmon write progression fantasy, cultivation fantasy, and LitRPG/GameLit.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
January 2, 2018
First book of the year - woohoo.
Ahh, but Jatla is a steaming pile. Thus, the title is misleading. But we will let it slide this time. Speaking of sliding, there is a nice bucket of boner lotion in this adventure.
This short stars Hiccup and his quest to keep his Chalupa. As a greasy gambler, con-goblin, salty warrior, and all around foul-mouth (and smelling) lead of this tale, Hiccup went all-in against Barry, an ink shadow, and lost. The bet - well, let's say ink shadows love goblin dongs.
Now, don't get freaked out. This isn't monster-erotica. In fact, there is only one small sex scene. Who knew ears were a fetish? Anyway.
The setting: One day in Jatla, the aforementioned steaming pile. Hiccup must set-up the Best Day Ever (sing it like Sponge Bob) for Barry, to prove Jatla isn't completely bad. If he fails, his Chalupa is gone for good.
As stated, this is a short. The day takes place at the beginning of the Fantasy Online series. Some may favor Hiccup's foulness - and it is enjoyable.
4.5 of 5 Stars. ARC provided by author.
From the Publisher:
A goblin. His proof of manhood. The bad hombre who wants it.
What starts as an innocent game of three cards with an ink shadow quickly escalates into Hiccup (the goblin, not the bodily function) stupidly betting his proof of manhood.
To save himself from possible castration, Hiccup has less than twenty-four hours to put on a parade, arrange a sensual massage, get a table at a Michelin star restaurant, and book a night at the most expensive hotel in Jatla, all with the hopes of appeasing the ink shadow (yes, the one whom he bet his penis to), and proving to the shadow that Jatla, the infamous goblin city, is not a sh*thole.
Of course, everyone knows Jatla is a sh*thole, including Hiccup, which only makes his task that much harder.
You didn't ask for it, but here it is. A goblin tale of deception filled with action, orcs, magic, ogres, a weretiger in a leather jacket, toilet humor, and utter fickery set in the Fantasy Online universe.
Trigger warning: If what is written above doesn't in any way offend you, and/or if you've read the Fantasy Online series, you're good (very good in fact, you're a high-quality person, read this now!). If not, proceed with the utmost caution.
Ahh, but Jatla is a steaming pile. Thus, the title is misleading. But we will let it slide this time. Speaking of sliding, there is a nice bucket of boner lotion in this adventure.
This short stars Hiccup and his quest to keep his Chalupa. As a greasy gambler, con-goblin, salty warrior, and all around foul-mouth (and smelling) lead of this tale, Hiccup went all-in against Barry, an ink shadow, and lost. The bet - well, let's say ink shadows love goblin dongs.
Now, don't get freaked out. This isn't monster-erotica. In fact, there is only one small sex scene. Who knew ears were a fetish? Anyway.
The setting: One day in Jatla, the aforementioned steaming pile. Hiccup must set-up the Best Day Ever (sing it like Sponge Bob) for Barry, to prove Jatla isn't completely bad. If he fails, his Chalupa is gone for good.
As stated, this is a short. The day takes place at the beginning of the Fantasy Online series. Some may favor Hiccup's foulness - and it is enjoyable.
4.5 of 5 Stars. ARC provided by author.
From the Publisher:
A goblin. His proof of manhood. The bad hombre who wants it.
What starts as an innocent game of three cards with an ink shadow quickly escalates into Hiccup (the goblin, not the bodily function) stupidly betting his proof of manhood.
To save himself from possible castration, Hiccup has less than twenty-four hours to put on a parade, arrange a sensual massage, get a table at a Michelin star restaurant, and book a night at the most expensive hotel in Jatla, all with the hopes of appeasing the ink shadow (yes, the one whom he bet his penis to), and proving to the shadow that Jatla, the infamous goblin city, is not a sh*thole.
Of course, everyone knows Jatla is a sh*thole, including Hiccup, which only makes his task that much harder.
You didn't ask for it, but here it is. A goblin tale of deception filled with action, orcs, magic, ogres, a weretiger in a leather jacket, toilet humor, and utter fickery set in the Fantasy Online universe.
Trigger warning: If what is written above doesn't in any way offend you, and/or if you've read the Fantasy Online series, you're good (very good in fact, you're a high-quality person, read this now!). If not, proceed with the utmost caution.
January 2, 2018
A wonderful wee excursion into Fantasy Online's resident Swearymaster goblin, Hiccup, and his world of lies, double-dealing, and hilarity.
This is Hiccup's true nature at its fickin' best. He's amazing at thinking on his feet, especially when there's a bet involved, or the end result is something he values... like his penis, for instance. I giggled my way through this like a little girl.
Another exceptional Harmon Cooper tale. Chalupa-fickin'-tastic! If you are a Fantasy Online fan, you will love this.
I received an eARC which I voluntarily read and reviewed. This is an honest review, and any opinions are my own.
This is Hiccup's true nature at its fickin' best. He's amazing at thinking on his feet, especially when there's a bet involved, or the end result is something he values... like his penis, for instance. I giggled my way through this like a little girl.
Another exceptional Harmon Cooper tale. Chalupa-fickin'-tastic! If you are a Fantasy Online fan, you will love this.
I received an eARC which I voluntarily read and reviewed. This is an honest review, and any opinions are my own.
January 2, 2018
Jatla is not a Sh*thole is a funny, crude short book featuring Hiccup the Goblin. If you've read (and enjoyed) any of the Fantasy Online books you probably have a pretty good idea what to expect, and you'll get a kick out of this story. Not for kids or the easily offended.
January 5, 2018
This story was great.
This was a great short story. I just loved Hiccup. He's great at getting what he wants even if he has to stretch the truth to get it.
This was a great short story. I just loved Hiccup. He's great at getting what he wants even if he has to stretch the truth to get it.
January 3, 2025
explains a few things. Otherwise not really worth the time except if you´re really into flatulence
October 12, 2020
A funny short
For those who think Hiccup is a needed evil lol and exactly why Jatla is the way it is then this is a nice little short for fans of Fantasy Online which fills a gap in the series and explains a bit about why Hiccup acts as he does
For those who think Hiccup is a needed evil lol and exactly why Jatla is the way it is then this is a nice little short for fans of Fantasy Online which fills a gap in the series and explains a bit about why Hiccup acts as he does
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews