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Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents
Guide/ How-To-Book
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1983
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March 2, 2025This book was one of many that was seized in 1984 from the first gay bookshop in London, or anywhere in the UK, Gay's The Word as part of a policy of intimidation against 'uppity' gays and I am posting information on this event against many of the books seized by the police.
That intimidation was at the root of the 1984 events is clear when you consider that the following:
'In 1975, Mary Borhek (1922-2016) learnt that her son Steve was gay. As a member of the New Testament Church, Borhek initially believed homosexuality was a sin but, over the following years, she not only accepted Steve’s sexuality but became an activist for lesbian and gay rights, particularly within the church community. Borhek turned her experiences into two books aimed at supporting lesbians and gay men and their families – 1979’s ‘My Son Eric’ and, in 1983, the book that was seized during ‘Operation Tiger’, ‘Coming Out to Parents’. Borhek’s introduction to this book expresses sorrow that coming out still necessitates “such elaborate preparation”, and an example ‘Coming-out Letter from Rick to his Family’ is included at the end. The publisher of both books was the Christian Pilgrim Press.'
Although I salute its good intentions I wouldn't have given this book shelf space at any point in my life. But it speaks to cynicism of the campaign against 'Gay's the Word' that books like this, from a Christian publisher, were treated the same as the words of Samuel Steward, who I would give shelf space to.
This is a history that should not be forgotten.
Coming Out to Parents and the 1984 attempt to destroy 'Gay's The Word' the UK's first gay bookshop:
This novel was one of many 'imported' gay books which were at the centre of an infamous attempt to push UK gays back into the closet by the conservative government of Margaret Thatcher in 1984. Amazingly this event, important not only for gays but civil liberties in the UK, does not have any kind of Wikipedia entry. Because of this lack I have assembled links to a number of sites which anyone interested in free speech should read. If we don't remember our history we will be condemned to repeat it.
The genesis of the prosecution of 'Gays The Word' was the anger of homophobes to books like 'The Milkman's On His Way' by David Rees which were written for young people and presented being gay as ordinary and nothing to get your-knickers-in-a-twist over. Unfortunately there was no way to ban the offending books because censorship of literature had been laughed out of court at the 'Lady Chatterley Trial' nearly twenty years earlier. But Customs and Excise did have the ability to seize and forbid the import of 'foreign' books, those not published in the UK. As most 'gay' books came from abroad, specifically the USA, this anomaly was the basis for the raid on Gays The Word and the seizure of large amounts of stock. The intention was that the legal costs, plus the disruption to the business, would sink this small independent bookshop long before it came to trial. That it didn't is testimony to the resilience of Gay's The Word, the gay community and all those who supported them.
The best, not perfect, but only, guide to the event is at:
https://www.gayinthe80s.com/2012/10/1...
There follows a series of links to the event connected with an exhibition at the University of London:
The background:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
The 142 books seized:
https://exhibitions.london.ac.uk/s/se...
The history of the prosecution:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
The fight to clarify the law after the prosecution was dropped:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
That intimidation was at the root of the 1984 events is clear when you consider that the following:
'In 1975, Mary Borhek (1922-2016) learnt that her son Steve was gay. As a member of the New Testament Church, Borhek initially believed homosexuality was a sin but, over the following years, she not only accepted Steve’s sexuality but became an activist for lesbian and gay rights, particularly within the church community. Borhek turned her experiences into two books aimed at supporting lesbians and gay men and their families – 1979’s ‘My Son Eric’ and, in 1983, the book that was seized during ‘Operation Tiger’, ‘Coming Out to Parents’. Borhek’s introduction to this book expresses sorrow that coming out still necessitates “such elaborate preparation”, and an example ‘Coming-out Letter from Rick to his Family’ is included at the end. The publisher of both books was the Christian Pilgrim Press.'
Although I salute its good intentions I wouldn't have given this book shelf space at any point in my life. But it speaks to cynicism of the campaign against 'Gay's the Word' that books like this, from a Christian publisher, were treated the same as the words of Samuel Steward, who I would give shelf space to.
This is a history that should not be forgotten.
Coming Out to Parents and the 1984 attempt to destroy 'Gay's The Word' the UK's first gay bookshop:
This novel was one of many 'imported' gay books which were at the centre of an infamous attempt to push UK gays back into the closet by the conservative government of Margaret Thatcher in 1984. Amazingly this event, important not only for gays but civil liberties in the UK, does not have any kind of Wikipedia entry. Because of this lack I have assembled links to a number of sites which anyone interested in free speech should read. If we don't remember our history we will be condemned to repeat it.
The genesis of the prosecution of 'Gays The Word' was the anger of homophobes to books like 'The Milkman's On His Way' by David Rees which were written for young people and presented being gay as ordinary and nothing to get your-knickers-in-a-twist over. Unfortunately there was no way to ban the offending books because censorship of literature had been laughed out of court at the 'Lady Chatterley Trial' nearly twenty years earlier. But Customs and Excise did have the ability to seize and forbid the import of 'foreign' books, those not published in the UK. As most 'gay' books came from abroad, specifically the USA, this anomaly was the basis for the raid on Gays The Word and the seizure of large amounts of stock. The intention was that the legal costs, plus the disruption to the business, would sink this small independent bookshop long before it came to trial. That it didn't is testimony to the resilience of Gay's The Word, the gay community and all those who supported them.
The best, not perfect, but only, guide to the event is at:
https://www.gayinthe80s.com/2012/10/1...
There follows a series of links to the event connected with an exhibition at the University of London:
The background:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
The 142 books seized:
https://exhibitions.london.ac.uk/s/se...
The history of the prosecution:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
The fight to clarify the law after the prosecution was dropped:
https://www.london.ac.uk/news-events/...
June 18, 2022
this woman had the fattest savior complex ever
September 29, 2014
Must-read for every LGBTQOIA and their parents.
Read
February 3, 2018speed-read/skimmed this at the library. it is dated, but like, so is my… life. more or less what u would expect from a book with this title.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews