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The Sensitive Leader
The debate over what characteristics make a great leader have been going on for a a long time. One thing is as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our view of what makes a great leader is very different than that of most of the world. Our role model for the perfect leader is Jesus Christ, and therefore, we believe that those who lead should look to him for guidance. Utilizing his own experiences and those of leaders he has known, Dr. Lythgoe teaches how to lead in a Christlike way.
166 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1986
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
March 24, 2018
BOOK REVIEW - The Sensitive Leader, How to Lead in Love, Dennis Lythgoe (1990)
My wife gave me this book shortly after I was called as bishop of our ward in 1989. I had zero experience in church leadership and was very intimidated given both my age the deep leadership bench in the ward. This book was written as a guide for leaders, especially within church, community, or charitable organizations. It teaches how to balance the exercise of authority without losing compassion, humility, or sensitivity to people’s strengths and weaknesses.
Lythgoe’s central premise is that effective leadership is not simply about exerting control, issuing commands, or pressing for results at all costs, but about fostering relationships, walking with people, and being attuned to the needs, feelings, and potential of those one leads. The “sensitive leader,” balances firmness and clarity with compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and encouragement.
The book’s scope includes:
Foundational attitudes of leadership — emphasis on humility, self-awareness, listening, empathy, and recognizing that leadership is above all relational rather than technical or bureaucratic.
Balancing strength and softness — how a leader can remain firm when needed yet avoid coercion, harshness, or insensitivity; how to exercise authority without dominating.
Encouragement, affirmation, and motivation — recognizing people’s gifts, praising progress, gently correcting failure, and creating an environment where people feel safe to grow.
Conflict, correction, and forgiveness — how to face disagreements, mistakes, and tensions without giving up on people; how to restore trust and reconcile relationships.
Vision, direction, and delegation — the sensitive leader still needs to point the way, make decisions, clarify roles, and empower others rather than micromanaging.
Sustainability and self-care — guarding against burnout, overextending oneself, losing sensitivity through fatigue, or becoming hardened; renewing one’s inner life so that one leads from strength rather than depletion.
The tone is more pastoral and reflective than academic; the book is relatively short which makes it particularly accessible to a busy leader. The strength is its emphasis on relational character rather than power, and its consistent reminder that leadership ultimately involves people, hearts, and trust. Overall, The Sensitive Leader is a worthwhile read for any leader who wants a reminder that authority and affection need not be at odds, and who desires practical counsel for leading with both strength and kindness.
Quotes:
“A sensitive leader must constantly remember that leadership is a stewardship. It is not a license to dominate, but a responsibility to nurture. To lead is not to lord over others, but to serve them, to bring out their best, and to walk beside them in weakness and in strength.”
“One of the greatest dangers for leaders is hardening of heart. Day by day, if we fail to pay attention, we become insensitive to hurts, tone-deaf to complaints, blind to discouragements. A leader must preserve the capacity to feel — to sense the undercurrents of tension, the whispers of fear, the longing for affirmation — and must act to heal, to encourage, to restore.”
My wife gave me this book shortly after I was called as bishop of our ward in 1989. I had zero experience in church leadership and was very intimidated given both my age the deep leadership bench in the ward. This book was written as a guide for leaders, especially within church, community, or charitable organizations. It teaches how to balance the exercise of authority without losing compassion, humility, or sensitivity to people’s strengths and weaknesses.
Lythgoe’s central premise is that effective leadership is not simply about exerting control, issuing commands, or pressing for results at all costs, but about fostering relationships, walking with people, and being attuned to the needs, feelings, and potential of those one leads. The “sensitive leader,” balances firmness and clarity with compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and encouragement.
The book’s scope includes:
Foundational attitudes of leadership — emphasis on humility, self-awareness, listening, empathy, and recognizing that leadership is above all relational rather than technical or bureaucratic.
Balancing strength and softness — how a leader can remain firm when needed yet avoid coercion, harshness, or insensitivity; how to exercise authority without dominating.
Encouragement, affirmation, and motivation — recognizing people’s gifts, praising progress, gently correcting failure, and creating an environment where people feel safe to grow.
Conflict, correction, and forgiveness — how to face disagreements, mistakes, and tensions without giving up on people; how to restore trust and reconcile relationships.
Vision, direction, and delegation — the sensitive leader still needs to point the way, make decisions, clarify roles, and empower others rather than micromanaging.
Sustainability and self-care — guarding against burnout, overextending oneself, losing sensitivity through fatigue, or becoming hardened; renewing one’s inner life so that one leads from strength rather than depletion.
The tone is more pastoral and reflective than academic; the book is relatively short which makes it particularly accessible to a busy leader. The strength is its emphasis on relational character rather than power, and its consistent reminder that leadership ultimately involves people, hearts, and trust. Overall, The Sensitive Leader is a worthwhile read for any leader who wants a reminder that authority and affection need not be at odds, and who desires practical counsel for leading with both strength and kindness.
Quotes:
“A sensitive leader must constantly remember that leadership is a stewardship. It is not a license to dominate, but a responsibility to nurture. To lead is not to lord over others, but to serve them, to bring out their best, and to walk beside them in weakness and in strength.”
“One of the greatest dangers for leaders is hardening of heart. Day by day, if we fail to pay attention, we become insensitive to hurts, tone-deaf to complaints, blind to discouragements. A leader must preserve the capacity to feel — to sense the undercurrents of tension, the whispers of fear, the longing for affirmation — and must act to heal, to encourage, to restore.”
August 4, 2011
It was a book with some good ideas. I'm not a self-help book lover, but there was good information.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews