When Reasoning No Longer Works: A Practical Guide for Caregivers Dealing with Dementia & Alzheimer's Care

by Angel Smits

In a world where family members are increasingly being asked to be caregivers to their family members with Alzheimer’s Disease and other forms of dementia, where do they go to find the training and information to take on this new and complex job? When Reasoning No Longer Works is the training manual these family caregivers have been searching for. Written by a Gerontologist with more than twenty years of experience, this reference gives the reader an easy-to-understand view of what dementia does to the brain, how it is diagnosed, and most importantly, how to deal with its effects.Bulleted lists clearly • How to avoid a catastrophic reaction• Specific approaches for aggressive behavior• How to deal with disruptive behaviors• Ways to diminish wandering• What to do when a wanderer is missing• When to look for outside helpYou’ll also follow the story of Lou and Rose, a couple who share their lives with Alzheimer’s disease. Together, they find the answers to questions caregivers and victims are sometimes afraid to ask. (with foreword by Dr. Randall J. Bjork)"Sixteen years ago, my father, Charles, died as the result of AD. For many years to come, I knew that I had failed him. I wish I knew then what I read about now in When Reasoning No Longer Works. The stress of living with an Alzheimer’s patient in the family can be heart-wrenching, but this book provides hope and help.” — Jeanie M, daughter and caregiver

218 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 5, 2017

About the author

I live in Colorado with my husband and daughter, as well as a constantly changing mixture of family and pets. I thought winning the Romance Writer's of America's Golden Heart Award was the highlight of my writing career, but seeing my first Harlequin book on the shelves topped that. My background as a social worker has helped fill my head with the stories of people, and inspired the characters whose stories I tell.

Reviews

[Timothy Smallwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book to give for those who are caring for a loved one with memory disorders to help them understand their loved one. This book was easy to understand without bogging the mind down with unnecessary medical terms. The writer did a great job of weaving story narrative into the practical helps that the caregiver needs.

[Judy Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book

My mom was just diagnosed with Dementia. This book will help my sisters and I so much. We have so much to learn and we can't afford to hurt our Mom. But knowing what to do is so hard. Thanks for answering so many questions.

[Mary Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review
Angels Smits book, When Reasoning No Longer Works, is a must-have practical guide for care-givers dealing with dementia and Alzheimer’s care. She frames her practical suggestions within a story of a couple dealing with the escalating symptoms of progressive dementia. That storyline illustrates the fear, the confusion, the frustration, and the dilemma of care-givers whose loved one is experiencing progressive dementia. But she also has numerous practical suggestions. Dementia and Alzheimer’s is a reality millions of people around the world are facing. Help for the care-givers is crucial as is compassion for the dementia patients. Both are in ample supply in this book.
Five Stars. M.L. Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 8/1/17

Excerpts:
Validation therapy is based on simple principles… Validation uses empathy to tune into the inner reality of the disoriented. Empathy, or walking in the shoes of the other, builds trust. Trust brings safety. Safety brings strength. Strength renews feelings of worth. Worth reduces stress. – pp. 72, 73

Suggestions
• Keep a journal of situations and events that upset the person. Is there a way to avoid those situations? – p. 37
• Don’t get defensive if they accused you of things you didn’t do. This is normal when there are gaps in memory and confusion. – p. 52
• Choose short simple sentences, but speak to them as if they are adults. Speak slowly and repeat if necessary. Use the same word; don’t keep trying to use different words with the same meaning, hoping that they will understand. It is only more confusing for them. – p. 53
• Keep things simple. Complex situations only cause frustration and escalate behavior problems. – p. 54
• Use positive reinforcement – food, smiles, gentle touch, personal attention, and lots of praise. – p. 55
• Make sure they are getting plenty to drink… [Dehydration] will increase their confusion. – p.150

[Tara · Rating 1 out of 5]

Only a decent read for those dealing with family who have had a typical nuclear family life. No insight on dealing with dementia patients who have gone through divorce or other traumatic/confusing life events. No insight into financial considerations. Quick read - very simplistic.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most helpful book for a caregiver spouse

This book is one of the best I’ve read on the subject. It is especially helpful for a spouse trying to care for his/her mate with the Alzheimer’s Disease. The information presented is the unvarnished truth of what a spouse can expect as the disease progresses. The author gives suggestions how to best handle common situations and points out resources to help. She brings to light the reality of life with Alzheimer’s by telling the story of a fictional couple struggling to live with the disease. Their story is not just a story of disease progression, but of love, hurt, fear, bewilderment, grief, acceptance and of determination to make the most of what precious time they have left together.

[Irene · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very simplistic, with lots of "helpful" tips about letting the person with dementia have their way, even if it involves destroying things, throwing objects, or aggressive physical behavior. Not much help to the caregiver who is told to avoid confrontation, back off, smile reassuringly, etc. There may be saints like that somewhere, but most normal human beings will have great difficulty coping with such bewildering behavior and volatile mood swings, especially when the caregiver him/herself is running on a lack of sleep and tremendous mental stress.

[Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be FULL of helpful suggestions to cope with someone who has dementia and Alzheimer's. In addition to small examples of situations and different ways to cope with them the book tells about the different levels of dementia. At the end of the book there are helpful suggestions where one can find help and support. This book is written for the regular person seeking knowledge and help for dealing with their personal situation. I learned a lot from reading this...

[NICK ST. AMANT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good information

This book gives good information on many aspects of progressing dementia. I would have preferred a little more detail though. Such as why Lou didn't consider putting Rose into residential care when she attacked him and drew blood. Or how he got her to agree to daycare. Especially since the Joe and Rose experiences are based on a composite of many case studies. But all in all, it's a worthwhile introduction to dealing with oncoming dementia.

[theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explains in easy to understand terms different types of dementia and what to expect at each level as the disease progresses. It explains Catastrophic Reactions and how to prevent them and how to lessen the severity when they do happen. And they will. I have this situation in my family and I wish I had known about this book sooner. I highly recommend to anyone that is going through this or knows someone who is.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good clear instructions for how to reduce angry reactions from a person with dementia.

I found this to be one of the better books on how to communicate with a dementia patient. Good instructions on how to reach and why your loved one may be acting out. It was helpful and gave me a lot of good ideas.

[Edna Wilkerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Realizing dementia's damage

Clarification of the effect of dementia to a family helps members realize what must be done. It is hard to know how to proceed in unknown terrible territory. This book acts as a guide. Learning to communicate on the terms of the patient helps keep personality longer..

[Doug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great advice and comfort

This book gave me practical advice for interacting with my mother, who has dementia. The anecdote of Lou and Rose was heartbreaking, but helped me appreciate that our experience is not unique, and made me feel more comfortable knowing others have wrestled with similar issues. I wish I had read this sooner.

[Patti McInnis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just what I needed, thanks for the recommendation.

This book has been extremely helpful to me. I am going to order it in hard copy. All this information is exactly what everyone needs to guide us through the dementia journey. The situations and explanations are interesting and easy to understand

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very practical guide for caregivers of dementia patients

I liked the use of a case study of a couple progressing through different situations that happen when you are caring for a person with dementia. The emotional aspects for both the patient and caregiver is especially helpful.

[Mitzi Gellman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Caregiving is hard

I am a licensed CNA and medication aide yet when I started being the caregiver for my father,I faced the toughest challenge of my life.Seeing a man who I knew as intelligent and talented become unreasonableand sometimes violent was a struggle.This book gave me some insight and ideas into his behavior.Hopefully ,I will become a better caregiver and daughter.

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lot of good ideas

All the books I have read on how to care for an Alzheimer's person have had lots of good ideas on what to do about different problems. And this book didn't let me down. I need all the help I can get.

[Nancy Heil · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good starting place...

This is a great book to read quickly for a starting place in understanding and identifying dementia. It lists other good resources and identifies important vocabulary.

[michelle marquardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of information helps one to understand parent's decline.

Helped with understanding my father's decline. Able to direct me to possible solutions . Testing guidelines to recognize level of dementia.

[Namaste · Rating 5 out of 5]

This horrible disease takes a real toll on care takers as well. If you have a loved one battling this disease, this book will help you better understand what they are going through and will give you a framework for navigating through challenging conversations and situations.

[Phil · Rating 4 out of 5]

A relatively simple read based on a story of a person with increasing symptoms of alzheimers and the steps her caregiver goes through to help her along. Each chapter highlights some helpful advice on how to deal with each progressive stage. I found it helpful if not exactly enlightening.

[Kathleen Rendl · Rating 5 out of 5]

AWESOME

This is a wonderful book. Tremendous insight and practical guide for anyone who is caring for someone with cognitive impairment. THANK YOU!

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this to be a review of what I have read already. The couple that is used throughout the book for illustration purposes is very helpful.

[Mmweave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Might be encouraging for someone who's trying to keep their loved one at home. Otherwise, not so much.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear. helpful instructions for how to reduce angry reactions from a person with dementia.

[Randi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, sensible, person focused advice. Will be referring to this time and time again.

[Pamela Milin · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was so depressing but at the same time so informative and just the information I needed to hear. This book is simply written with great tips on how to deal with someone with dementia.

[Evan McDaniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would probably be more relevant to someone dealing with a spouse with dementia, which is not my circumstance.

[Daniele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read for anyone learning to communicate effectively with someone who is suffering from dementia. Helped me and my mom tremendously.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute best book on how to live with a person, your children and friends should read it also, so they have a better understanding of this disease. Very practical information.

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical tips and reminders. I find the chapters on de-escalation most useful.