The Language of Love: The Secret to Being Instantly Understood

by Gary Smalley, John Trent

This book offers a time-tested method (over 500,000 copies sold) of bridging communication gaps . . . opening the door to greater intimacy and delivering lasting change.Struggling to Be Understood?Words have incredible power, especially when they say what you mean (and mean what you say). But that same power can be self-defeating, even destructive, when the message heard doesn’t match the message intended. Make the most of your communications by learning The Language of Love. Written by best-selling authors Gary Smalley and John Trent, it builds on communication basics introduced in The Two Sides of Love and shows how “emotional word pictures” can infuse understanding and intimacy into all of your relationships.This revised, updated edition of a classic resource is a wonderful tool for personal growth, small group studies, or couples’ classes.

Genres: Marriage

310 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 17, 2018

About the author

Gary Smalley was one of the country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He was the award-winning, best-selling author or coauthor of sixteen books, as well as several popular films and videos. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won Gold Medallions, The Language of Love won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life, and his other titles have received Silver Medallions. His national infomercial Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships has been viewed by television audiences all over the world.

Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.

Reviews

[Kresta Bosley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect when I began reading this book but I was quickly immersed in the book. I had a hard time putting it down and was shocked at how quickly I was able to read it. It offers many different suggestions on how important picture stories are and the simplicity to creating a picture story. Any situation can be a great conversation. This book is highly recommended to help in communication in any setting. I can't wait to apply it to my conversations with my spouse, children, and co-workers. I didn't read the first version but feel this is a great reference for anyone trying to improve communication skills. I received an Advanced Reader's Copy from the publisher.

[Kandi Blalock Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot recommend this book highly enough! We can all learn to communicate more effectively, and this book is the perfect tool for that. The authors walk you through the process step by step to create meaningful word pictures that lead to deeper understanding and more intimate relationships. I’ve already begun using this technique with my children and have seen great success.

I received an advance reader copy of this book.

[Lauren Sparks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a helpful guide to being truly understood in your most important relationships. It's easy to read and full of interesting examples. For my full review, go to http://laurensparks.net/2018/04/the-o....

[Sherry Sellers · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Language of Love Version 2.0, a must read by Gary Smalley and John Trent, came at a significant time in my life. I was honored to be a part of the Launch Team and receive an Advance Reader's Copy from the publisher.

Growing up our family was very close. After Dad passed away and Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, our family lost communication. No matter what we would say, it seemed to come out wrong. Using Word Pictures, as taught in The Language of Love, is bringing healing to our family.

The concept of searching for items within my everyday life; in nature, in objects around me, in stories I could create, reminiscing from the past, and learning things about those I want to communicate with, brought Word Pictures that made emotions buried deep come to the surface. Soon I found those I communicated with were responding with their own Word Pictures and now I understood what they were trying to say.

It was helpful to learn that not all Word Pictures work with all people and there are times to communicate with a particular Word Picture and times to wait.

The chapter written to Millennials by Kari Trent Stageberg was fantastic and helped bridge the communication gap between us seniors and the younger generation. Where we were once speaking a foreign language when together was now a clear picture of what was on our hearts.

People with Alzheimer’s mostly remember the past, so hearing about our history from Mom became even more significant now that we could take those memories and communicate them with Word Pictures.

The update of this book comes out today! It is a must read for all, young and old, who would like to better communicate in your most important relationships.

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I have been a fan of The 5 Love Languages and then I heard about this book and was so curious about reading this concept of word pictures. I was offered an Advanced Reader Copy by the publisher and I dove in to learn more. But first I read the title and description to my husband and was so excited when he asked me to read it out loud. He isn't a reader but this way we would both learn about this concept together.

This book is a must read for couples to better understand each other- and I believe anyone would benefit for day to day communications at home or work. I can't wait to continue using this process with my husband and kids!

Information is broken down and explained clearly and easily. I also appreciate how the authors used many detailed examples throughout to show the reader ways that this type of communication can work. I recently read another book of this genre and was greatly disappointed at the difficult steps listed and the almost textbook- like writing and I was relieved that this speaks to the reader as if you might be having an easy conversation with the author. This book is one I will keep to repeatedly read and use and have already recommended to friends!

[Carolyn Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suppose you were standing on one side of a mountain and someone you loved was on the other. You each climb (and slip), striving to reach the top and each other, but you just can’t quite get there. If the mountain is representative of a communication difficulty, “The Language of Love” will vault you over the mountain to the other side by showing you how to create effective word pictures to help others feel what you mean rather than just hear words. There’s advice for all ages and most situations. Get copies for yourself and your loved ones; you’ll be ever so glad that you did! I received an Advance Reader’s Copy from the publisher.

[Tammi Mossman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nearly 30 years ago I read the first edition of The Language of Love and it introduced me to a new way of expressing myself -- which was very important to someone coming from a family background of dysfunctional communication mixed with many forms of abuse. I was so excited to hear that there would be an updated, revised edition, and it does not disappoint. Many examples of word pictures enable you to visualize the principle as you learn how to help people feel your words rather than just hearing them.


I received an Advance Reader's Copy from the publisher.

[Brandi Horton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t recommend this book enough. It will make you evaluative your relationships and look at them through a different lens. Any interaction you have with others is significant and this book gives you great tools to use in those moments. You will build deeper, more meaningful relationships with others if you come from a place of love and understanding. This book is great for anyone and I have takeaways from it that will improve me as a mom, wife, friend, coworker etc. We all want to be understood and it’s important that we always try and understand others and this book breaks it down and shows you how to make this a reality.

I received an advanced digital copy of this book from the publisher.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I missed the original edition of The Language of Love so I have been taking copious notes while reading this revised second edition. I am a words person, but sometimes struggle with getting a point across. How much better is it to combine your words with a picture so the hearer not only listens to your words, but feels them as well? Jesus used this form of communication abundantly....parables, anyone?

I am only halfway through the book, but I know this will completely change the way I communicate with others!

I received an advanced readers copy from the publisher and will update this review when I finish reading, if needed.

[Elizabeth Rosner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I sweetly call my husband The Wordsmith because he is a great writer and I love the way he strings words together, almost melodically. Despite our love for the written word, we have used word pictures to enhance our communication and have seen great results! There is a depth and nuance to communication when we use word pictures that is missing when we are merely speaking words. I'm grateful to these authors for this updated version and have recommended it to many of my friends!

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a digital copy of the book for review.

Word pictures come very easily to me and are already a part of my communication with my children and husband. I nodded my head all throughout the book.

This books demonstrates the effectiveness of a word picture, especially when other communication fails to get the intended message across. The reader learns the important pieces of an effective word picture and how to customize it for your particular audience.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great read and provides readers with numerous examples to improve their communication skills in all aspects of life. The authors focus on teaching readers how to incorporate word pictures into all their relationships, providing readers with a step by step process of how to use this powerful communication tool.

I received an Advanced Reader’s Copy from the publisher.

[Lisa P Clement · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an Easy read. I love the word picture idea which teach you how to help someone better understand your feelings.
Such a great tool for learning to better communicate with people in your life especially in marriage.

[Kari Stageberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Literally changed my communication with my husband, at work, and even in public speaking! Highly recommend.

[Rebecca LaCount · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely. Such a lovely, practical book for those looking to strengthen their marriage or for couples who are thinking of getting married. Loved it!

[Sincerely, Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm 15 years old i didn't know consciously that there's a "Word Picture Exist" i got a feeling that this book will gonna help me in the future to communicate and be understood.

[Rhonda D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

The main idea is that we can use analogies to better communicate out feelings and thoughts to our loved ones. This could have been a shorter read.

[Brooke Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person with physical limitations, I often struggle with how to express my emotional perspectives to others. Drs. Smalley and Trent have blessed me with the amazing tool of word pictures.This book will forever change the way I communicate, encourage others and keep moving forward in life.

[April Dobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you a visual learner? Do you struggle with communication with anyone in your life? Then this book is for you. Gary Smalley gives a relationship guidebook to help overcome the struggle of personal and professional hurdles that are inevitable, even when you are trying to say the same things. Using word pictures, Smalley redirects you too better communication.

I received an advance copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest opinion.