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废后将军（全三册）
你是君，我是臣，你要忠诚，我给你忠诚。
你是君，我是臣，你要我牺牲，我为你牺牲。
这辈子只是君臣……做不了陪你到天涯的人。
一个被废的皇后，一个最失败的替身。
这世间每个人的爱情都是一张限期支票，在这个期限里面，它可以值百万千万甚至数亿，但过了这个期限，不过是一张废纸。
驰骋沙场，他为君，她为将，缠绵罗帐，他是夫，她是妻，只是一切不过是镜花水月，他为他爱的人，一次次将她推向修罗地狱。
阿左啊，来生我若为王，你必为后……
你是君，我是臣，你要我牺牲，我为你牺牲。
这辈子只是君臣……做不了陪你到天涯的人。
一个被废的皇后，一个最失败的替身。
这世间每个人的爱情都是一张限期支票，在这个期限里面，它可以值百万千万甚至数亿，但过了这个期限，不过是一张废纸。
驰骋沙场，他为君，她为将，缠绵罗帐，他是夫，她是妻，只是一切不过是镜花水月，他为他爱的人，一次次将她推向修罗地狱。
阿左啊，来生我若为王，你必为后……
- GenresChina
768 pages, Paperback
Published June 15, 2017
2 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
About the author
一度君华
40 books20 followersAssociated Names:
* 一度君华 (Chinese)
* Yi Du Jun Hua (English)
* อี๋ตู้จวินหัว (Thai)
* 一度君华 (Chinese)
* Yi Du Jun Hua (English)
* อี๋ตู้จวินหัว (Thai)
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Currently reading
May 22, 2025Ill read this in summer vacations, rn i got exams 🤦♀️
Edit: IM FINALLY FREE
Edit: IM FINALLY FREE
March 12, 2025
I have very strong feelings about this book. I generally stay away from tragedies, but I was curious enough about this one to pick it up, and I kinda wish I hadn't. Don't get me wrong; it's a wonderfully written story, which is why I ultimately decided to give it 4 stars after a lot of internal debate, but my heart hurts after reading it. It's like watching a slow moving train wreck about to happen. You can see all the angst coming but there's nothing you can do about it. Not a single character has a good ending :(
The story follows our FL, Zuo Canglang. She's abandoned as a young kid by her mother and spends part of her childhood growing up in the wild among the wolves, Tarzan-style. She's finally picked up by the ML, Murong Yan, and taken to his orphan camp when he comes across her in the forest and recognizes she has skills to be able to survive on her own.
Murong Yan is the unfavored second prince, and from a young age, he's been scheming for the throne. As part of that, he established this orphan camp to gather and train potential young talents, including our FL. There, she befriends two other orphans called Yang Lianting and Leng Feiyan, and the three of them form a strong bond forged by all the rigorous training and the final killing they have to go through to "graduate" the camp.
The FL proves herself to be a brilliant strategist and becomes indispensable to Murong Yan for her sharp insights and strategies. In fact, I'm pretty sure that without her, he wouldn't have gotten close to the throne as he had no family or strong supporters to back him up as a contender for the throne. To be honest, I'm a bit skeptical that an orphan like the FL who has no formal education can be that good of a tactician, but I understand the author needed to make her indispensable to the ML.
I really enjoyed all the political intrigue and schemes. That was probably my favorite part of the book, seeing how Murong Yan slowly seizes the throne from his incompetent father and how the FL becomes a celebrated military general through her resounding victories over their enemies. What I had a hard time stomaching was how poorly Murong Yan treated pretty much everyone around him, especially the FL. In his eyes, almost everyone is just a tool to be used. He really deserves an award for how well he can act and pretend to care about someone. Initially he comes off as pretty normal, but slowly we discover along with the FL the depths of Murong Yan's indifference to everyone around him and his mental abnormalities.
Eventually Zuo Canglang has enough and she finally stops letting her emotions and love for him excuse his heinous behavior. Once the line has been drawn, she starts fighting back against him and slowly takes down his corrupt supporters before targeting him as well. The payback arc, which consists of the last ~50 chapters or roughly 40% of the book, was definitely my favorite. It was so satisfying seeing everything start falling apart around Murong Yan. Was it worth all of my heartache in the first 60% of the book? Debatable. But I'm glad I soldiered through and got to the good part in the second half.
**Warning: Spoilers Ahead**
I have a lot of feelings about the events and characters of this book.
First of all, it was incredibly frustrating to see both of Zuo Canglang's best friends slowly lose their value in front of Murong Yan and fall in love with stupid characters who got them killed. I loved Feiyan's character; she flirted with whoever she wanted and was strong enough to get away with almost anything. However, she went down the wrong path when she started hanging out with Cang Ge after killing his older brother and maiming his father and ultimately died protecting her beloved after falling into their enemies' trap. And I don't know why Yang Lianting's beloved, A Fei, didn't listen to his advice at all and insisted on having the Bai Yu sect run away from the Great Yan empire. Her actions made Murong Yan suspicious, and that's the biggest no no in this book, so of course the ML kills the sect members and Lianting ends up dying as well.
As for the romance, I found it more bitter than sweet from the beginning, though there were some sweet moments as well. Zuo Canglang always knew about the ML's feelings for his childhood sweetheart, Jiang Bilan, so her feelings of admiration for the ML were just that. She was content to like and support him in his happiness without needing anything for herself. The ML was the one who took the final step between them and forced her to accept their relationship, which she did only at the cost of her own life.
But then after they get together, I can't get over how badly he treated her. To be fair, he treated everyone around him equally bad, but boy was he ruthless. There were soooo many instances of this. After they drunkenly slept together for the first time, the very next day he sends her to save his "beloved" and the two of them get stuck in small crevice filled with snakes. When Murong Yan comes, he only saves Jiang Bilan and leaves the FL to fend for herself in said crevice with snakes slithering all over her. That's the epitome of a scummy ML. I was also super mad the time they were being physically intimate, and the Empress barges in on them looking for her "Yan gege". In order to prevent the Empress from knowing about their relationship, the ML throws the completely naked FL out the window into the cold pond waters outside, in the middle of the winter. What a freaking a**hole!!!
Probably the worst of it was when he pretended to be happy about her pregnancy after she survived months of capture and torture as a prisoner of war in foreign enemy lands and even told her he didn't care about his reputation and would officially give her a title. Then he turned right around and ordered the royal doctors to misdiagnose her pregnancy so that he could accuse her of cheating on him and have a valid reason to abort the baby, all because he wanted his first son to be from his legitimate wife, the empress.
How can he murmur sweet nothings in her ear and then flip 180 degrees to accuse her of adultery so quickly? He truly is a two-faced character who can do anything for his goals. And the worst part is, he's so sneaky and always hides his actions behind others, so the FL doesn't even realize for the longest time that this misdiagnosis didn't come just from the Empress, who has a legitimate reason to hate her, but was under the ML's order.
Murong Yan is a character that everyone loves to hate. He's a smart and observant guy who's incredibly skilled at manipulating everyone around him. If he didn't treat the FL so poorly, I would actually have a little respect for him. At least he treats everyone around him the same. Another example of how he can single-mindedly use people without a care for their emotions is when he arranged for his supposed love of his life, Jiang Bilan, to get drugged and raped while unconscious by his older brother, the crown prince. He did all this because he needed to create a legitimate excuse to march on the capital and give himself a reason to take over the throne without harming his reputation. Saying that you took over the throne to get back the love of your life sounds a lot better than saying you did it for the power.
Again, here he hid his actions really well. For the longest time, everyone believed that either the crown prince or perhaps Jiang Bilan's father was behind drugging, but eventually it's revealed that the culprit was none other than Murong Yan himself. Not only Jiang Bilan but Zuo Canglang was also absolutely devastated when she overheard him talking about this, as the FL had always strongly admired his feelings for Jiang Bilan.
Also, the amount of paranoia that Murong Yan has is absolutely insane. I get it, he had a troubled childhood and was completely traumatized by his consort mother in a variety of ways. But instead of writing a redemption story, the author chose to go the opposite route and make the ML increasingly paranoid and crazy. Time and time again, he suspects the FL's love and loyalty to him over the smallest things, and gets jealous when she even stands next to a guy and says a couple sentences to him. He even thinks she may have slept with the foreign enemy emperor. The ML can also easily kill off 40,000 of soldiers just because their loyalty to him is questionable. What a guy.
Still, there were moments of sweetness that made the story bearable to read. If there weren't, I would have dropped the story out of sheer frustration much earlier. I can't tell how much Murong Yan actually cared for Zuo Canglang and how much of it was acting, but I think he did love her in his own twisted way. The grand gestures he does for her might be due to her value to him, like when he personally goes to the border city when she's in trouble. It's my guess he does this because he can't affordable to lose a brilliant tactician.
But his love for her comes through in small but subtle ways, like how he can never touch a dish or drink that someone else already ate from due to his childhood trauma, but somehow he doesn't mind it when it's the FL's. Or how he's super picky about who sees him dirty, but because of their their past shared experiences, he's okay with her seeing that side of him. That means he experiences a level of comfort around her that he doesn't have from anyone else, even his supposed white moonlight.
I felt bad for Zuo Canglang. I wish she had met anyone else in the forest as a kid except for him. She's a smart girl and has a good heart, but Murong Yan really screwed up her life. All she initially wanted is for him to be happy with Jiang Bilan, but no he has to force their relationship. And then after they start sleeping together and she develop stronger feelings for him, she keeps getting her loyalties pulled in different directions because of her close ties to her friends and her teacher, General Wenqi. She has to deal with conflicting loyalties and priorities and decide whether the ML is worth it. It's not easy being her.
I feel like the ending wasn't satisfying enough for my tastes. Yes Zuo Canglang got her revenge on Murong Yan, but he died without ever knowing who poisoned him. I wanted him to regret all the terrible things he's ever done to her, though knowing his personality that'll never happen.
Here are some of my favorite scenes or lines from the story:
Here you can see his heart wavering for her, but ultimately he chooses the throne over everything else
Murong Yan said, "You've gifted me a city, and after we return to Jinyang, I will promote you to a Wei General." Wei General was Wengi's rank. Zuo Canglang said, "I don't want to, if your majesty really wants to give a gift to this subject, if in a few years, if the world stage is settled, and this subject is still around, your majesty can just gift this subject an opportunity to retire here."
Murong Yan was startled, and atop the old city wall, the four eyes glanced at each other, a calm and pleasant exchange, suddenly turned a bit cold. At this moment, they stood shoulder to shoulder, both witnessing someone who's heart was shattered, without a future. It was as though there was a splinter, that had just unwittingly entered their hearts. There was such a moment, that he wanted to promise her the length of the sky and the timelessness of the land.
He turned his face, to look at the frozen White Wolf lake. This realm of humanity was decrepit and empty, and peoples' hearts were even weaker. And there were many divergent paths, only someone that didn't waver or change, but just continued persevering along a single path, that could arrive at its end. Along the way, no mater how beautiful the scenery was, it was still a mesmerizing obstacle.
Murong Yan, was never someone who would lose his way.
------------
I really like this thought from the ML comparing the Empress and the FL, it was quite poetic
Jiang Bilan felt as though she had misspoke, and spoke two sentences quietly to Murong Yan, "Big brother Yan, did I say something wrong?"
Murong Yan drank a cup together with her, saying, "How could it be, Lan'er is the matriarch, and the matriarch instructing a subject, how could she be wrong."
It's just that....... very well, it's just that she lives on the battlefield, and you live inside a dream.
----------
Without realizing it, the sky had begun to brighten. When it was almost time to attend morning court, Wang Yunzhao could not help but enter to rush them. Murong Yan got up, and discovered that he had actually accompanied her to play the instrument for half the night. He liked to stay by Zuo Canglang's side, because when she was by his side, she practically didn't feel like she was really there.
This made him feel at ease, as though he was there with himself, enough to forestall loneliness
----------
Poor FL, getting caught in the ML's emotional web
In this world, there were some people, ah, whom you would just like, to the core of your being. It was an incurable disease, and it was one that would stain you with blood and seek greatness through your love. Have you ever also loved someone this way, so that for his thin hand, you would love every strand of his hair, love his every gaze, so that even when outsiders mentioned his name, you would still feel its sweetness?
Even though she knew they weren't fitting people, but she would still charge into the flame like a moth, burning herself into a crisp. In the end, she would use up her entire life, to become the one he most wanted you to become.
---------
When the FL realizes how cold the ML is
Murong Yan carried her onto a horse, his softness was as it had been. He held her in his embrace, and whipped the horse forwards, saying, "Just treat it as if everything in between had not happened. We will start from when you returned from Western Jing anew, okay?"
Zuo Canglang lifted her face to look at him. At that time, her gaze was blue like the brook. His face was still like the advent of a deity, unparalleled in beauty. He slowly kissed her lips, the surface of her eyes filled with the glint of water, reflecting the light.
Pretending everything had not happened, so all that fresh blood, had never stained your hands? Can you have those people who were buried into the earth rise from the dead? Can you let my child stand before me, chattering away, being safe and sound in the present? Could you make Fa Chang Temple's thousands of monks also treat it as though none of this had ever happened?
Murong Yan, people like you, will probably never feel pain in your heart, right?
----------
Zuo Canglang really understands the ML
Zuo Canglang wrapped her arms around his neck. This person, he was just like a domineering and impatient child. He put his beloved items in his hands, and henceforth, that would be his thing. If others took an extra glance, he would just gouge out that person's eyes.
He didn't permit others to touch things that belonged to him, but like a child that liked new things, once he became completely familiar with an item, he would quickly lose interest in it.
Until he discovered that this item was desired by others, would he incite his passions. His items, even if it was old, broken, or something he didn't want, but it ultimately could only be owned by him alone.
----------
Ouch the truth hurts
Murong Yan slowly walked before her, slowly reaching his hand to her breast, saying, "If it wasn't that this king still needed your romanticized love from this king, this king really wants to just cut out your heart, to get a clear look at what color it is."
Jiang Bilan's tears were like a stream of water, saying, "Back then, you had risen up in rebellion for me. Then, you made me queen, only for the sake of demonstrating your deep affection to all of Great Yan?"
Murong Yan drew close to her, softly asking, "Otherwise, what did you think it was for?"
Jiang Bilan choked on her tears, "I was betrothed to you at six years of age. Could it be, for so many years, you have never loved me before? Not even a little bit?"
Murong Yan said, "Love you? Do you think that just because you're born with a beautiful face, that every man should just lose their souls, and kneel down beneath your dress, and worship you? If the lights are off, what difference does a woman's face, even one such as yours, make? You're such a woman, that the only good thing about you is your stupidity. If a woman is stupid, she should be innocent and good, as at the very least, she could still be naive and without malice. But you, you're not only stupid, but you're even more wicked to no end! Do you think that you have any part of you, that is worthy of any trace of my love?"
Jiang Bilan covered her mouth, holding back her weeping. Her tears covered the back of her hand. The pain on her body made her vision black out in short waves after wave. She said, "But really love you, I really love you......"
Murong Yan's gaze was frigid, saying, "If a man is sufficiently accomplished, with just a curling of his finger, which woman beneath the heavens would not love him? How much is your love worth?"
--------------
And then the FL's reactions to the above exchange is heartbreaking too
Zuo Canglang reached her hand out, pressing on his heart. Actually, the most frightening thing in this world, isn't actually when the person you love doesn't love you. But it's actually when you fall in love with a person, and you use your entire passion and being to protect it, but in the end, you discover that what you have held in your embrace was just a stone.
--------------
Murong Yan reached his hand out, slowly lifting her chin, asking, "Then, in your eyes, what am I to you?"
Zuo Canglang met his gaze. When he asked this question, behind him, was the brilliant blue sky. Birds flew by, leaving behind a soft echo. She said, "In the past, in the snowy fields to the north, some people hunted for wolves. They only needed to point their blade's edges upwards, and bury them in the snow, sprinkling some blood on top of it. The wolves would come due to the fresh blood, and licking the blood on the ice, their tongues would numb. Unable to distinguish the blade and also unable to feel the pain. As time grew longer, they would perish as their fresh blood drained dry."
Murong Yan slowly let go of her hand. Zuo Canglang followed the endless yellow sands forwards, slowly saying, "Your majesty asked, to me, what you are. This subject thinks, if you really wanted to ask this question, then you towards this subject..... are perhaps the blade's edge that is buried in the snow fields here."
The story follows our FL, Zuo Canglang. She's abandoned as a young kid by her mother and spends part of her childhood growing up in the wild among the wolves, Tarzan-style. She's finally picked up by the ML, Murong Yan, and taken to his orphan camp when he comes across her in the forest and recognizes she has skills to be able to survive on her own.
Murong Yan is the unfavored second prince, and from a young age, he's been scheming for the throne. As part of that, he established this orphan camp to gather and train potential young talents, including our FL. There, she befriends two other orphans called Yang Lianting and Leng Feiyan, and the three of them form a strong bond forged by all the rigorous training and the final killing they have to go through to "graduate" the camp.
The FL proves herself to be a brilliant strategist and becomes indispensable to Murong Yan for her sharp insights and strategies. In fact, I'm pretty sure that without her, he wouldn't have gotten close to the throne as he had no family or strong supporters to back him up as a contender for the throne. To be honest, I'm a bit skeptical that an orphan like the FL who has no formal education can be that good of a tactician, but I understand the author needed to make her indispensable to the ML.
I really enjoyed all the political intrigue and schemes. That was probably my favorite part of the book, seeing how Murong Yan slowly seizes the throne from his incompetent father and how the FL becomes a celebrated military general through her resounding victories over their enemies. What I had a hard time stomaching was how poorly Murong Yan treated pretty much everyone around him, especially the FL. In his eyes, almost everyone is just a tool to be used. He really deserves an award for how well he can act and pretend to care about someone. Initially he comes off as pretty normal, but slowly we discover along with the FL the depths of Murong Yan's indifference to everyone around him and his mental abnormalities.
Eventually Zuo Canglang has enough and she finally stops letting her emotions and love for him excuse his heinous behavior. Once the line has been drawn, she starts fighting back against him and slowly takes down his corrupt supporters before targeting him as well. The payback arc, which consists of the last ~50 chapters or roughly 40% of the book, was definitely my favorite. It was so satisfying seeing everything start falling apart around Murong Yan. Was it worth all of my heartache in the first 60% of the book? Debatable. But I'm glad I soldiered through and got to the good part in the second half.
**Warning: Spoilers Ahead**
I have a lot of feelings about the events and characters of this book.
First of all, it was incredibly frustrating to see both of Zuo Canglang's best friends slowly lose their value in front of Murong Yan and fall in love with stupid characters who got them killed. I loved Feiyan's character; she flirted with whoever she wanted and was strong enough to get away with almost anything. However, she went down the wrong path when she started hanging out with Cang Ge after killing his older brother and maiming his father and ultimately died protecting her beloved after falling into their enemies' trap. And I don't know why Yang Lianting's beloved, A Fei, didn't listen to his advice at all and insisted on having the Bai Yu sect run away from the Great Yan empire. Her actions made Murong Yan suspicious, and that's the biggest no no in this book, so of course the ML kills the sect members and Lianting ends up dying as well.
As for the romance, I found it more bitter than sweet from the beginning, though there were some sweet moments as well. Zuo Canglang always knew about the ML's feelings for his childhood sweetheart, Jiang Bilan, so her feelings of admiration for the ML were just that. She was content to like and support him in his happiness without needing anything for herself. The ML was the one who took the final step between them and forced her to accept their relationship, which she did only at the cost of her own life.
But then after they get together, I can't get over how badly he treated her. To be fair, he treated everyone around him equally bad, but boy was he ruthless. There were soooo many instances of this. After they drunkenly slept together for the first time, the very next day he sends her to save his "beloved" and the two of them get stuck in small crevice filled with snakes. When Murong Yan comes, he only saves Jiang Bilan and leaves the FL to fend for herself in said crevice with snakes slithering all over her. That's the epitome of a scummy ML. I was also super mad the time they were being physically intimate, and the Empress barges in on them looking for her "Yan gege". In order to prevent the Empress from knowing about their relationship, the ML throws the completely naked FL out the window into the cold pond waters outside, in the middle of the winter. What a freaking a**hole!!!
Probably the worst of it was when he pretended to be happy about her pregnancy after she survived months of capture and torture as a prisoner of war in foreign enemy lands and even told her he didn't care about his reputation and would officially give her a title. Then he turned right around and ordered the royal doctors to misdiagnose her pregnancy so that he could accuse her of cheating on him and have a valid reason to abort the baby, all because he wanted his first son to be from his legitimate wife, the empress.
How can he murmur sweet nothings in her ear and then flip 180 degrees to accuse her of adultery so quickly? He truly is a two-faced character who can do anything for his goals. And the worst part is, he's so sneaky and always hides his actions behind others, so the FL doesn't even realize for the longest time that this misdiagnosis didn't come just from the Empress, who has a legitimate reason to hate her, but was under the ML's order.
Murong Yan is a character that everyone loves to hate. He's a smart and observant guy who's incredibly skilled at manipulating everyone around him. If he didn't treat the FL so poorly, I would actually have a little respect for him. At least he treats everyone around him the same. Another example of how he can single-mindedly use people without a care for their emotions is when he arranged for his supposed love of his life, Jiang Bilan, to get drugged and raped while unconscious by his older brother, the crown prince. He did all this because he needed to create a legitimate excuse to march on the capital and give himself a reason to take over the throne without harming his reputation. Saying that you took over the throne to get back the love of your life sounds a lot better than saying you did it for the power.
Again, here he hid his actions really well. For the longest time, everyone believed that either the crown prince or perhaps Jiang Bilan's father was behind drugging, but eventually it's revealed that the culprit was none other than Murong Yan himself. Not only Jiang Bilan but Zuo Canglang was also absolutely devastated when she overheard him talking about this, as the FL had always strongly admired his feelings for Jiang Bilan.
Also, the amount of paranoia that Murong Yan has is absolutely insane. I get it, he had a troubled childhood and was completely traumatized by his consort mother in a variety of ways. But instead of writing a redemption story, the author chose to go the opposite route and make the ML increasingly paranoid and crazy. Time and time again, he suspects the FL's love and loyalty to him over the smallest things, and gets jealous when she even stands next to a guy and says a couple sentences to him. He even thinks she may have slept with the foreign enemy emperor. The ML can also easily kill off 40,000 of soldiers just because their loyalty to him is questionable. What a guy.
Still, there were moments of sweetness that made the story bearable to read. If there weren't, I would have dropped the story out of sheer frustration much earlier. I can't tell how much Murong Yan actually cared for Zuo Canglang and how much of it was acting, but I think he did love her in his own twisted way. The grand gestures he does for her might be due to her value to him, like when he personally goes to the border city when she's in trouble. It's my guess he does this because he can't affordable to lose a brilliant tactician.
But his love for her comes through in small but subtle ways, like how he can never touch a dish or drink that someone else already ate from due to his childhood trauma, but somehow he doesn't mind it when it's the FL's. Or how he's super picky about who sees him dirty, but because of their their past shared experiences, he's okay with her seeing that side of him. That means he experiences a level of comfort around her that he doesn't have from anyone else, even his supposed white moonlight.
I felt bad for Zuo Canglang. I wish she had met anyone else in the forest as a kid except for him. She's a smart girl and has a good heart, but Murong Yan really screwed up her life. All she initially wanted is for him to be happy with Jiang Bilan, but no he has to force their relationship. And then after they start sleeping together and she develop stronger feelings for him, she keeps getting her loyalties pulled in different directions because of her close ties to her friends and her teacher, General Wenqi. She has to deal with conflicting loyalties and priorities and decide whether the ML is worth it. It's not easy being her.
I feel like the ending wasn't satisfying enough for my tastes. Yes Zuo Canglang got her revenge on Murong Yan, but he died without ever knowing who poisoned him. I wanted him to regret all the terrible things he's ever done to her, though knowing his personality that'll never happen.
Here are some of my favorite scenes or lines from the story:
Here you can see his heart wavering for her, but ultimately he chooses the throne over everything else
Murong Yan said, "You've gifted me a city, and after we return to Jinyang, I will promote you to a Wei General." Wei General was Wengi's rank. Zuo Canglang said, "I don't want to, if your majesty really wants to give a gift to this subject, if in a few years, if the world stage is settled, and this subject is still around, your majesty can just gift this subject an opportunity to retire here."
Murong Yan was startled, and atop the old city wall, the four eyes glanced at each other, a calm and pleasant exchange, suddenly turned a bit cold. At this moment, they stood shoulder to shoulder, both witnessing someone who's heart was shattered, without a future. It was as though there was a splinter, that had just unwittingly entered their hearts. There was such a moment, that he wanted to promise her the length of the sky and the timelessness of the land.
He turned his face, to look at the frozen White Wolf lake. This realm of humanity was decrepit and empty, and peoples' hearts were even weaker. And there were many divergent paths, only someone that didn't waver or change, but just continued persevering along a single path, that could arrive at its end. Along the way, no mater how beautiful the scenery was, it was still a mesmerizing obstacle.
Murong Yan, was never someone who would lose his way.
------------
I really like this thought from the ML comparing the Empress and the FL, it was quite poetic
Jiang Bilan felt as though she had misspoke, and spoke two sentences quietly to Murong Yan, "Big brother Yan, did I say something wrong?"
Murong Yan drank a cup together with her, saying, "How could it be, Lan'er is the matriarch, and the matriarch instructing a subject, how could she be wrong."
It's just that....... very well, it's just that she lives on the battlefield, and you live inside a dream.
----------
Without realizing it, the sky had begun to brighten. When it was almost time to attend morning court, Wang Yunzhao could not help but enter to rush them. Murong Yan got up, and discovered that he had actually accompanied her to play the instrument for half the night. He liked to stay by Zuo Canglang's side, because when she was by his side, she practically didn't feel like she was really there.
This made him feel at ease, as though he was there with himself, enough to forestall loneliness
----------
Poor FL, getting caught in the ML's emotional web
In this world, there were some people, ah, whom you would just like, to the core of your being. It was an incurable disease, and it was one that would stain you with blood and seek greatness through your love. Have you ever also loved someone this way, so that for his thin hand, you would love every strand of his hair, love his every gaze, so that even when outsiders mentioned his name, you would still feel its sweetness?
Even though she knew they weren't fitting people, but she would still charge into the flame like a moth, burning herself into a crisp. In the end, she would use up her entire life, to become the one he most wanted you to become.
---------
When the FL realizes how cold the ML is
Murong Yan carried her onto a horse, his softness was as it had been. He held her in his embrace, and whipped the horse forwards, saying, "Just treat it as if everything in between had not happened. We will start from when you returned from Western Jing anew, okay?"
Zuo Canglang lifted her face to look at him. At that time, her gaze was blue like the brook. His face was still like the advent of a deity, unparalleled in beauty. He slowly kissed her lips, the surface of her eyes filled with the glint of water, reflecting the light.
Pretending everything had not happened, so all that fresh blood, had never stained your hands? Can you have those people who were buried into the earth rise from the dead? Can you let my child stand before me, chattering away, being safe and sound in the present? Could you make Fa Chang Temple's thousands of monks also treat it as though none of this had ever happened?
Murong Yan, people like you, will probably never feel pain in your heart, right?
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Zuo Canglang really understands the ML
Zuo Canglang wrapped her arms around his neck. This person, he was just like a domineering and impatient child. He put his beloved items in his hands, and henceforth, that would be his thing. If others took an extra glance, he would just gouge out that person's eyes.
He didn't permit others to touch things that belonged to him, but like a child that liked new things, once he became completely familiar with an item, he would quickly lose interest in it.
Until he discovered that this item was desired by others, would he incite his passions. His items, even if it was old, broken, or something he didn't want, but it ultimately could only be owned by him alone.
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Ouch the truth hurts
Murong Yan slowly walked before her, slowly reaching his hand to her breast, saying, "If it wasn't that this king still needed your romanticized love from this king, this king really wants to just cut out your heart, to get a clear look at what color it is."
Jiang Bilan's tears were like a stream of water, saying, "Back then, you had risen up in rebellion for me. Then, you made me queen, only for the sake of demonstrating your deep affection to all of Great Yan?"
Murong Yan drew close to her, softly asking, "Otherwise, what did you think it was for?"
Jiang Bilan choked on her tears, "I was betrothed to you at six years of age. Could it be, for so many years, you have never loved me before? Not even a little bit?"
Murong Yan said, "Love you? Do you think that just because you're born with a beautiful face, that every man should just lose their souls, and kneel down beneath your dress, and worship you? If the lights are off, what difference does a woman's face, even one such as yours, make? You're such a woman, that the only good thing about you is your stupidity. If a woman is stupid, she should be innocent and good, as at the very least, she could still be naive and without malice. But you, you're not only stupid, but you're even more wicked to no end! Do you think that you have any part of you, that is worthy of any trace of my love?"
Jiang Bilan covered her mouth, holding back her weeping. Her tears covered the back of her hand. The pain on her body made her vision black out in short waves after wave. She said, "But really love you, I really love you......"
Murong Yan's gaze was frigid, saying, "If a man is sufficiently accomplished, with just a curling of his finger, which woman beneath the heavens would not love him? How much is your love worth?"
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And then the FL's reactions to the above exchange is heartbreaking too
Zuo Canglang reached her hand out, pressing on his heart. Actually, the most frightening thing in this world, isn't actually when the person you love doesn't love you. But it's actually when you fall in love with a person, and you use your entire passion and being to protect it, but in the end, you discover that what you have held in your embrace was just a stone.
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Murong Yan reached his hand out, slowly lifting her chin, asking, "Then, in your eyes, what am I to you?"
Zuo Canglang met his gaze. When he asked this question, behind him, was the brilliant blue sky. Birds flew by, leaving behind a soft echo. She said, "In the past, in the snowy fields to the north, some people hunted for wolves. They only needed to point their blade's edges upwards, and bury them in the snow, sprinkling some blood on top of it. The wolves would come due to the fresh blood, and licking the blood on the ice, their tongues would numb. Unable to distinguish the blade and also unable to feel the pain. As time grew longer, they would perish as their fresh blood drained dry."
Murong Yan slowly let go of her hand. Zuo Canglang followed the endless yellow sands forwards, slowly saying, "Your majesty asked, to me, what you are. This subject thinks, if you really wanted to ask this question, then you towards this subject..... are perhaps the blade's edge that is buried in the snow fields here."
July 12, 2017
Finally took the jump and read this book despite the ending.
I rarely like tragedies, but somehow, this seemed like the only ending possible for this book.
Because it's a relatively short novel, the author tells us a lot of things rather than show them. So the emotional impact is stunted. But I have no doubt that if the author had chosen to describe in detail everything that happened, this would undoubtedly be 100 times more heartwrenching.
edit：bumped rating to 5 because I can't stop thinking about this stupid book. >.<
I rarely like tragedies, but somehow, this seemed like the only ending possible for this book.
Because it's a relatively short novel, the author tells us a lot of things rather than show them. So the emotional impact is stunted. But I have no doubt that if the author had chosen to describe in detail everything that happened, this would undoubtedly be 100 times more heartwrenching.
edit：bumped rating to 5 because I can't stop thinking about this stupid book. >.<
June 16, 2018
I've never hated a male lead in a book as much as I did with the one in this book???
February 19, 2021
0。
爱者自苦啊……唉。
情节完整度不如《水煮大神》，男主不知道自己到底是爱还是「有感情」这点倒是蛮像。
文笔一般，情节逻辑也比较差，人物塑造几乎为零。但是居然读完了，神奇。
很多行刑方式/虐女主的方式真的别具一格，从来没见过这么惨的女主。
爱者自苦啊……唉。
情节完整度不如《水煮大神》，男主不知道自己到底是爱还是「有感情」这点倒是蛮像。
文笔一般，情节逻辑也比较差，人物塑造几乎为零。但是居然读完了，神奇。
很多行刑方式/虐女主的方式真的别具一格，从来没见过这么惨的女主。
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