Grindr Survivr: How to Find Happiness in the Age of Hookup Apps

by Andrew Londyn

What would Grindr be like if it offered opportunities to actually connect with people rather than just react according to our base instincts? This book about Grindr aims to do just that. For far too long, gay men have moaned and complained about gay dating apps, and yet they feel powerless to do anything about it. Grindr and "app culture" have radically transformed how members of the gay community interact, and while finding “dates” has become easier, it seems as if finding anything of substance has become nearly impossible. We're just surviving apps like Grindr, rather than using them to live fully in the moment. Grindr Survivr is a book designed to give readers a guide on how to find happiness in the new age of dating apps. It gives readers a thorough understanding of how Grindr is changing the gay scene, and by extension, how such apps have changed each of us as individuals. Often, we aren’t even aware of how deeply we’ve been changed by these apps, but we can’t expect a different result until we look at ourselves, our behavior patterns and our community and resolve to transform all of them. Grindr users are encouraged to follow the “Gay Commandments” that every gay man should live by if Grindr users want to find relationships of substance (or even merely stop suffering and worrying about what happens online). The Gay Commandments aren’t preachy at all, but rather they are a call to interject a moral baseline into online behavior – but all the while the book gives honest and humorous anecdotes from his own personal dating experience. The author's not afraid to reveal his own failings in order to help readers learn from his mistakes. The Gay Commandments also include numerous “action points” that are that are designed to give readers new insights and new results (rather than just stating an overwhelming problem and not giving you anything to do about it). Readers will laugh and see themselves in the author’s unique and wry perspectives on gay dating. Dating apps like Grindr and Tinder are here to stay. It's time to stop surviving these apps and start using them to thrive.

262 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 25, 2017

Reviews

[BRINLEY MITCHELL · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a product of Gay Liberation Front 1973. ( year I came out at 17). Those heady days were highly politicised, we were struggling to create new forms of relationships outside monogamous heterosexuality. We set up gay communes, we tried to create non-monogamous connections, we were anti-capitalist. We believed in the 'personal is political' . We railed against the straight left. We become faeries, we , we 'gender fucked' by wearing dresses with donkey jackets and boots. We spent ages writing pamphlets, going on demos. We saw our natural allies as the trade unions and the left wing of the old male dominated Labour party. We tried to bring a gay liberation anti-patriarchal

My experience of dating was at first tied up with hanging out with other gays who espoused what I would losely call radical gay anti patriarchal left wing anti capitalist ideas and practice. That was when I saw myself as part of a vanguard. Fast forward 45 years and I am discovering how to use grindr and otherness apps. I joined up to 5 different ones and dropped them soon after. I became aware of the huge influence of grindr through chemsex parties. There grindr was used to non-stop by virtually all players like it was a drug fix. The realisation that people practically became suicidal if they were 'block's showed me how important social media was to the life's of men who had the internet/mobile phones at the beginning of the teenage not like me when I was already in my 30s. This book and the easily accessible honest style of the author has made me, at 61, we-evaluate how I now use Gribdr ( and Scruff and BBRT and that old dog -,Gaydar. I have been in a partnership for 45 years but am still have a 'twinkish' side that learns from this insightful book

[Daniel Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gays! Be nice to each other!

TLDR: Don’t be a jerk, treat people on apps like you would in life, and keep a thick skin for others who won’t. Rinse, repeat, and you’ll find the right person.

Not to sound holier than thou, but I’ve tried this formula for years, and more often than not, I get dates with quality guys. Sure there are bad moments, but by and large I have good experiences.

So give this book a shot! At the very least you’ll learn a little bit about yourself and, if you practice what’s preached, come out a little bit kinder.

[John Kilpatrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author seems to be obsessed with Trump and comparing him to the flaws found in grindr. He constantly talks about bringing our community together yet he's seems to be oblivious to how he's ostracising gay conservatives. Perhaps if more gay men were more traditional in their values and way of thinking this book would not have been needed to begin with.

[Jon R · Rating 4 out of 5]

Food for thought

Although some of the stuff in this book you already know, finding all in the same collection will (hopefully!) get you reflecting about behaviour online and dating. A non-judgemental piece of work, which will let you discover where you stand.

[Zamueh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A veces un chico solo necesita tener un mental breakdown y replantearse cosas de su vida para seguir adelante