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The Killbug Eulogies
Disemboweled by the razor scythes of a six-foot mantis, lobotomized by hungry larvae, or roasted on an exoskeletal skewer: these are only a few of the disgusting ways to die in humanity's hopeless war against giant space insects. Deployed on a brutal bug planet without a chaplain, a depleted infantry unit has entrusted its eulogy duties to the soldier standing closest at time of death. Somehow this rotten privilege keeps falling to Pvt. Timothy Archon.
Archon's speeches explore the strange obsessions the men have developed since the war began--from archiving killbug death psalms to trying to seduce the enemy. Did these manias somehow redeem them, or only bring them quicker to their messy ends?
But more importantly: Why does Archon keep having such terrible luck?
Archon's speeches explore the strange obsessions the men have developed since the war began--from archiving killbug death psalms to trying to seduce the enemy. Did these manias somehow redeem them, or only bring them quicker to their messy ends?
But more importantly: Why does Archon keep having such terrible luck?
300 pages, ebook
First published June 12, 2017
11 people are currently reading
658 people want to read
About the author
Will Madden
5 books23 followersWill Madden lives in Baltimore, Maryland, originally from the Bronx, New York. He holds a degree in something ridiculous from a fancy institution of higher education. His hobbies include cool bugs, early 20th century painting, streaming cartoons in languages he doesn't understand particularly well, and collecting broken clocks. All his children are pets, and all his pets are plants.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 3, 2018
The Killbug Eulogies is a very clever and witty book about soldiers stationed on a forsaken place, fighting giant bugs. Out numbered and will low rations, they are getting picked off. They lost the Chaplain so one of the guys gets drafted to do the eulogies. With each one, which is like a short story, we learn something about that person. All are clever and witty. I laughed out loud on a few stories and scattered throughout the book. Most of it was a smile or groan of acknowledgement of the humor. I enjoyed this book a great deal. If you get offended easy by inappropriate words or dark humor, this is not for you.
March 21, 2017
This book....GOD, THIS BOOK. How to describe this book. It's science fiction but it's also quite literary. It reminds me of a Heinlein and Vonnegut smoothie. It's horrific and poignant as only a well-crafted story can be in the hands of a master writer. This is what I know Will Madden to be. He is a friend and I admire him as a human being but I love him as a writer, the glorious bastard. He makes me write in jealousy the way he wields language and the mechanics of storytelling.
Do yourself a favour and read this book. The stories will haunt you. They will burrow into your psyche and lay eggs under your skin. If you're into that sort of thing...
Do yourself a favour and read this book. The stories will haunt you. They will burrow into your psyche and lay eggs under your skin. If you're into that sort of thing...
December 6, 2017
"Archon, I know everything involving you turns out a heinous mockery, but between that and nothing, I choose you."
So says Private Grayson while asking his childhood friend Pvt. Timothy Archon to secretly marry him to a pretty little enemy fighter named Dungmeata. Unfortunately for the Beta boys stationed on Thisone Rock, now that hostile larvae have eaten the chaplain's brain, their choice of eulogizers is similarly limited—they can have Archon do it or nobody.
The obvious comparisons are there—Starship Troopers meets Catch-22 meets Red vs. Blue—but Archon's eulogies for the Pride of Beta take the humor, absurdity, and brutality to the next level. He commends the bravery and inflates the heroics of every soldier they lay to rest, examines what they meant to the unit, and then highlights their flaws and transgressions in excruciating detail for everyone to hear. After all, he was a great guy, but what an a-hole, amiright? Are we really that sorry he's dead?
As we come to find out, this is a common trait among the Beta boys. They're widely known as screwups who take as much pride in tearing each other down as they do in destroying the enemy. They're so well-known for being useless infighters that they were nearly kicked out of the war.
"Do you think anyone is itching to make friends with the Beta boys, so undisciplined they can't play a sport with real rules?" their commanding officer asked after he convinced the higher-ups not to make the lot of them into a labor unit. "[...] You're less interested in the score than in tormenting whichever poor sap you chose to bully within an inch of suicide. You can't imagine how many times I reconsidered my choice to petition our leadership to put weapons back in your hands—which, by the way, is conditional on my accepting a promotion to sign on as your commander and trust you not to set fire to me in my sleep!"
Of course, admitting them back to the war doesn't mean that the leadership of the Hominid Alliance was willing to let them fight anywhere that mattered. The Pride of Beta were shipped off to the farthest reaches of the galaxy to destroy the killbugs' reproductive factories (a fight that they're losing spectacularly, by the way, and that studies show might even be considered a form of friendly courtship in killbug culture) until someone off-rock remembers that they promised to pick the Betans up in eleven months. It's up to Archon and the rest of the Beta boys to stay alive long enough for the transport vessels to show up. You can probably guess based on the name of the book how well that's going.
But in addition to being hilarious and entertaining, The Killbug Eulogies is a brutally accurate exploration of human nature—the places where our neuroses collide with our convictions, the superstitions we create within our environment, the ways we interact with the people we can't escape, and the unwritten rules we expect everyone to follow when speaking about the dead. Even the dead who've been so thoroughly digested that all of their earthly remains fit in a coffee cup.
Using Archon's pseudo-reverent eulogies, Madden unfolds a hilariously entertaining tale of the least-loved fighters in the galaxy and the insects who murdered them. The writing is gorgeous, the narrative voice enthralling, and the story full of the expected unexpected from beginning to end. It's a great read for the disaffected and morbid in all of us, as well as that little voice inside our heads that wants to see the galaxy burn. If you like your military sci-fi steeped in humor and mantidae or you're just looking for a nice inappropriate laugh, then you need to pick up The Killbug Eulogies already.
Seriously, what are you doing still reading this review when you could be reading the real thing?
So says Private Grayson while asking his childhood friend Pvt. Timothy Archon to secretly marry him to a pretty little enemy fighter named Dungmeata. Unfortunately for the Beta boys stationed on Thisone Rock, now that hostile larvae have eaten the chaplain's brain, their choice of eulogizers is similarly limited—they can have Archon do it or nobody.
The obvious comparisons are there—Starship Troopers meets Catch-22 meets Red vs. Blue—but Archon's eulogies for the Pride of Beta take the humor, absurdity, and brutality to the next level. He commends the bravery and inflates the heroics of every soldier they lay to rest, examines what they meant to the unit, and then highlights their flaws and transgressions in excruciating detail for everyone to hear. After all, he was a great guy, but what an a-hole, amiright? Are we really that sorry he's dead?
As we come to find out, this is a common trait among the Beta boys. They're widely known as screwups who take as much pride in tearing each other down as they do in destroying the enemy. They're so well-known for being useless infighters that they were nearly kicked out of the war.
"Do you think anyone is itching to make friends with the Beta boys, so undisciplined they can't play a sport with real rules?" their commanding officer asked after he convinced the higher-ups not to make the lot of them into a labor unit. "[...] You're less interested in the score than in tormenting whichever poor sap you chose to bully within an inch of suicide. You can't imagine how many times I reconsidered my choice to petition our leadership to put weapons back in your hands—which, by the way, is conditional on my accepting a promotion to sign on as your commander and trust you not to set fire to me in my sleep!"
Of course, admitting them back to the war doesn't mean that the leadership of the Hominid Alliance was willing to let them fight anywhere that mattered. The Pride of Beta were shipped off to the farthest reaches of the galaxy to destroy the killbugs' reproductive factories (a fight that they're losing spectacularly, by the way, and that studies show might even be considered a form of friendly courtship in killbug culture) until someone off-rock remembers that they promised to pick the Betans up in eleven months. It's up to Archon and the rest of the Beta boys to stay alive long enough for the transport vessels to show up. You can probably guess based on the name of the book how well that's going.
But in addition to being hilarious and entertaining, The Killbug Eulogies is a brutally accurate exploration of human nature—the places where our neuroses collide with our convictions, the superstitions we create within our environment, the ways we interact with the people we can't escape, and the unwritten rules we expect everyone to follow when speaking about the dead. Even the dead who've been so thoroughly digested that all of their earthly remains fit in a coffee cup.
Using Archon's pseudo-reverent eulogies, Madden unfolds a hilariously entertaining tale of the least-loved fighters in the galaxy and the insects who murdered them. The writing is gorgeous, the narrative voice enthralling, and the story full of the expected unexpected from beginning to end. It's a great read for the disaffected and morbid in all of us, as well as that little voice inside our heads that wants to see the galaxy burn. If you like your military sci-fi steeped in humor and mantidae or you're just looking for a nice inappropriate laugh, then you need to pick up The Killbug Eulogies already.
Seriously, what are you doing still reading this review when you could be reading the real thing?
August 21, 2017
The Killbug Eulogies are a set of eulogies by a soldier in war on an enemy planet. Since the chaplain was killed, the commander decided the eulogy for troops killed would be given by the nearest soldier to them when they died. This happens to be Pvt. Timothy Archon for a bunch of them. The hilarious eulogies, describing the various foibles and nutiness of the troops will have you laughing histerically. These troops actually remind me of some of the people I knew in the Army, just magnified.The enemy, the Killbugs, giant mantis creatures, are scary as can be, but the description of some of the interactions is hilariously described. Especially the one where the soldier was fascinated by them, and wanted to, ah, spread intergalactic goodwill in an intimate manner with one of them. This is kind of grown up humor, but if youre looking for a fun listen, this one might just fit the bill. Will Madden has to be the best author narrator I have ever heard in hundreds of audiobooks. He really nails the voices and characterizations. Overall, a fun listen.
I was voluntarily given a copy of this audiobook by the Author through Audiobookboom.
I was voluntarily given a copy of this audiobook by the Author through Audiobookboom.
September 2, 2017
( Format : Audiobook )
Fingers in the sand"
With four months left before the relief ship arrives to rescue any survivors of the military troop fighting a futile battle against the Killbug, large mantis like insects, and with their chaplain dead, the funeral eulogies are left to the men. One Timothy Arcon takes on the task when no one else will do it
This is a really unusual story comprising, in effect, ten short stories, risqué vignettes of nine men who die in somewhat bizarre circumstances, a thumbnail of each life and relationship with Arcon and the unit, and their own personal peculiarities. Often very amusing and certainly surprising, there is definitely a profound interest shown in genitalia in various guises. Each is also quite different from it's predecessors, my personal favourite being the life, and death, of Gilbert Rasher, the so called psychopath. The final chapter tells of the relief ship finally arriving to collect anyone still alive, with it's surprising extra passengers and even more outrageous ramblings.
Books narrated by their authors often leave a lot to be desired but, in this case, the performance is superb. Will Madden perfectly captures the voice of the sardonic, often sarcastic eulogy giver, Arcon, his fiction clear and unsurprisingly, his understanding and nuances of the text clearly demonstrated.With a lesser narration, this book could easily have become tedious with the fine emphasis lost alone the way.
Probably best listened to as short stories, heard with short breaks along the way rather than as one continuous whole, this is a fun story, of a little crude in parts. It is certainly original and immaginative in both construction and content. Funny, too. My thanks to the rights holder who freely gifted me a copy at my request, via Audiobook Boom. I enjoyed it very much.
Fingers in the sand"
With four months left before the relief ship arrives to rescue any survivors of the military troop fighting a futile battle against the Killbug, large mantis like insects, and with their chaplain dead, the funeral eulogies are left to the men. One Timothy Arcon takes on the task when no one else will do it
This is a really unusual story comprising, in effect, ten short stories, risqué vignettes of nine men who die in somewhat bizarre circumstances, a thumbnail of each life and relationship with Arcon and the unit, and their own personal peculiarities. Often very amusing and certainly surprising, there is definitely a profound interest shown in genitalia in various guises. Each is also quite different from it's predecessors, my personal favourite being the life, and death, of Gilbert Rasher, the so called psychopath. The final chapter tells of the relief ship finally arriving to collect anyone still alive, with it's surprising extra passengers and even more outrageous ramblings.
Books narrated by their authors often leave a lot to be desired but, in this case, the performance is superb. Will Madden perfectly captures the voice of the sardonic, often sarcastic eulogy giver, Arcon, his fiction clear and unsurprisingly, his understanding and nuances of the text clearly demonstrated.With a lesser narration, this book could easily have become tedious with the fine emphasis lost alone the way.
Probably best listened to as short stories, heard with short breaks along the way rather than as one continuous whole, this is a fun story, of a little crude in parts. It is certainly original and immaginative in both construction and content. Funny, too. My thanks to the rights holder who freely gifted me a copy at my request, via Audiobook Boom. I enjoyed it very much.
September 17, 2017
Review originally published at: http://www.lomeraniel.com/audiobookre...
Earth has been destroyed by the killbugs, an alien race similar to insects but much larger and dangerous. Now stranded on a killbug planed, several man are participating in this war, and dying. Since their chaplain has also died, Timothy Archon will be in charge of the eulogies for his fallen friends.
This book is a satire about humanity and war. Madden uses a lot of black humor to illustrate the lives and deaths of nine men of Archon’s battalion. Some are hilarious and some just entertaining, but there is a dark and sad undertone that did not leave me indifferent.
Each chapter is a short story telling the life and death of one of these men. Most of deaths are quite absurd, as I guess happens in real life.
I have read rave reviews about this book, and I had great expectations. I found the idea quite original, but for some reason it was not my cup of tea. I think it is a book to be enjoyed in small doses, and not just in one sit.
The book is narrated by the author himself, and he did a wonderful job, artistically and technically both. He gave voices to the different characters and delivered wonderful interpretations. The audio production quality was perfect, at the level of a professional narrator.
I received a copy of this book in audio format from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Earth has been destroyed by the killbugs, an alien race similar to insects but much larger and dangerous. Now stranded on a killbug planed, several man are participating in this war, and dying. Since their chaplain has also died, Timothy Archon will be in charge of the eulogies for his fallen friends.
This book is a satire about humanity and war. Madden uses a lot of black humor to illustrate the lives and deaths of nine men of Archon’s battalion. Some are hilarious and some just entertaining, but there is a dark and sad undertone that did not leave me indifferent.
Each chapter is a short story telling the life and death of one of these men. Most of deaths are quite absurd, as I guess happens in real life.
I have read rave reviews about this book, and I had great expectations. I found the idea quite original, but for some reason it was not my cup of tea. I think it is a book to be enjoyed in small doses, and not just in one sit.
The book is narrated by the author himself, and he did a wonderful job, artistically and technically both. He gave voices to the different characters and delivered wonderful interpretations. The audio production quality was perfect, at the level of a professional narrator.
I received a copy of this book in audio format from the author in exchange for an honest review.
August 25, 2017
This book is hilarious. It is unique. It is well-written. It's the kind of book that has you laughing out loud and thinking late at night. It reminds me a little of We Are Legion (We Are Bob) as far as the witty, smart writing is concerned. I actually think it is a much better book, though. Just read it. Really. I am usually not that much of a sci-fi fan, but this book defies genres. If you like well-written, fun stories or if you respect creativity (building a world through eulogies? Who even comes up with that?), then you will not be disappointed.
The narration is also very strong. I have no complaints with the pronunciations, pacing, voices, or anything else for that matter. This is a perfectly matched pair - narrator and book just sync. He knows how to read the passages for maximum sarcastic effect or add just the right amount of emotion. This is a truly special combination.
I received a free copy of this audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this honest review.
The narration is also very strong. I have no complaints with the pronunciations, pacing, voices, or anything else for that matter. This is a perfectly matched pair - narrator and book just sync. He knows how to read the passages for maximum sarcastic effect or add just the right amount of emotion. This is a truly special combination.
I received a free copy of this audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this honest review.
December 16, 2017
I was not familiar with the work of this author when I first came to listen to this book, but it sounded intriguing from the description of it and I was not disappointed as he takes an interesting approach to the fairly familiar sci-fi theme of space marines vs alien bug monsters.
Beyond the eulogy framework of the book, one thing that really stands out is the fairly dark humour in the writing, it is a tone that seems to suit the book perfectly.
Sometimes when an author reads their own book it can sometimes result in quite a dry reading without the level of performance you might expect from a professional narrator, but in this case the author uses his obvious familiarity with his own work to produce a strong narration that serves to enhance your enjoyment of the book.
Having enjoyed this book, I will definitely keep an eye out for other works from this author in the future.
[Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]
Beyond the eulogy framework of the book, one thing that really stands out is the fairly dark humour in the writing, it is a tone that seems to suit the book perfectly.
Sometimes when an author reads their own book it can sometimes result in quite a dry reading without the level of performance you might expect from a professional narrator, but in this case the author uses his obvious familiarity with his own work to produce a strong narration that serves to enhance your enjoyment of the book.
Having enjoyed this book, I will definitely keep an eye out for other works from this author in the future.
[Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]
June 15, 2017
Will Madden creates a world through eulogies. Let that sink in. Who does that? Will does. And he does it in exquisite fashion. Yes, this book will fall under the sci-fi category. Yes, there are space marines and bug creatures and war but this book is stories about people (and bugs). Those stories? They are gloriously messed up in many ways (just read it for yourself, trust me). Will writes with a style and flair that I could only dream about achieving. I cannot imagine changing any words in this book. When you start reading it, there is a thought about can he keep this up for the whole thing. The answer is 100% yes. This is a book that you need to read. You will become a Maddenite (is that a thing? It should be a thing). Okay, I'm going to stop here. Now you need to go get this book. Now. Shoo. Why are you still reading this. Go!
March 17, 2017
I was initially intrigued with the construction of the story as a series of eulogies. What a format for exploring the ethos of what makes us human! Whether or not this was the author's intent, I have no idea, but that's what I inferred from the stories of the dead. I believe, perhaps errantly, perhaps not, that The Killbug Eulogies has as much to say about the human condition as it does about the disgusting mantis species wiping it out. In particular, ideas about the separation of man and nature are playfully inserted throughout the story. For example, in the eulogy for Kittredge Hemlock, the narrator, Archon, recalls a conversation with Hemlock: "We have this vague hope," Hemlock told us, "that the galaxy, bright and vast as it is, will have something to tell us about ourselves. We believe clues to our identity are spread out among the stars. We feel if we seek them with a stockpile of chemical analysis sticks and a big enough clipboard, we will finally uncover all the secrets to ourselves we've been yearning to find since the beginning of history"...Hemlock told us it just wasn't there..."Everything we think we know, someplace in the galaxy is wrong."
But aside from the insightful perspectives of the deceased, the story dazzles with creative uses of language and descriptions. A colorful world comes alive through the lens of characters that range from erudite to impish. Truly a joy to read.
But aside from the insightful perspectives of the deceased, the story dazzles with creative uses of language and descriptions. A colorful world comes alive through the lens of characters that range from erudite to impish. Truly a joy to read.
December 2, 2017
¡Received the book in a Giveaway!
RATINGS : 4.6
We have all heard or read novels written in the form of diaries. But who has ever heard of a novel composed of only obituaries!??! And as crazy as it sounds, I happened to absolutely love this book, with its abundance of humour and irony, spoken in loving memory for each person, by one and only, Pvt Timothy Archon.
The first idea of what you are getting into is when you glance at its index which literally contains only titles that says "The Death of ...." . And with each and every person who dies, you feel a growing connection to them, to their fight against the Killbugs, and thier sh***y team which only grows more heroic each passing day as they go about pilling up on the sh*t all around them.
To say more would be to spoil the fun the readers are yet to experience (and I hope you will), for after all, the following is the only summary you will ever need :
RATINGS : 4.6
We have all heard or read novels written in the form of diaries. But who has ever heard of a novel composed of only obituaries!??! And as crazy as it sounds, I happened to absolutely love this book, with its abundance of humour and irony, spoken in loving memory for each person, by one and only, Pvt Timothy Archon.
The first idea of what you are getting into is when you glance at its index which literally contains only titles that says "The Death of ...." . And with each and every person who dies, you feel a growing connection to them, to their fight against the Killbugs, and thier sh***y team which only grows more heroic each passing day as they go about pilling up on the sh*t all around them.
To say more would be to spoil the fun the readers are yet to experience (and I hope you will), for after all, the following is the only summary you will ever need :
Ad Saeculum Saeculorum
June 28, 2018
It has a great beginning. The middle got a little slow and twisty. But the end was abrupt, a few nagging questions left behind. A good read nonetheless.
January 12, 2021
I'm going to create a new shelf called weird, and this will be the first book I add .
March 15, 2017
This book hits hard with well written genre norms (space marines fighting giant bugs; if you haven't read it yet, I know you must have at least seen it) but also manages to transcend them (the narrative is revealed through eulogies). If you like that hard space sci-fi or if you like thought provoking writing mixed with dark humor, then you will enjoy this book. If you happen to enjoy both simultaneously, then you are wasting your time reading this review and not reading this book.
did-not-finish
September 14, 2019DNF @ 44%.
I hated this and couldn't drag myself through it any more. It's boring, un-funny, and completely asinine.
I hated this and couldn't drag myself through it any more. It's boring, un-funny, and completely asinine.
June 8, 2017
Great story. A fast paced tale with fantastic (in a bad way) enemies
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews