Life's Last Gift: Giving and Receiving Peace When a Loved One Is Dying

by Charles Garfield

An indispensable, compassionate end-of-life resource After four decades of training volunteers to sit at the bedsides of the dying, psychologist and Shanti founder Charles Garfield has created an essential guide for friends, family, and healthcare professionals who want to ease someone's final days but don't know where to begin. Garfield presents practical advice about finding connection, honesty, and peace while being of the greatest service to those at the end of life. By focusing on the reciprocal and healing relationship between the living and the dying, which continues until the last breath, he offers a path toward clarity and wholeness, and even growth. Life's Last Gift is an emotional lifeline for anyone who feels lost and filled with grief during this final stage of life.

Genres: Grief

200 pages, Paperback

Published October 24, 2017

Reviews

[T Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

A True Gift of Love

This book speaks to a topic that is difficult for many. There are many challenges we face in life, the final challenge: dying. If it is not we who are transitioning, it is a loved one. How do we deal with all that accompanies that experience? It’s not as hard or difficult as you believe. I found Life’s Last Gift to be uplifting. First, it was written to help those of the dying go through the process with their loved one in a compassionate, kind, caring and loving way – without the awkwardness and FEAR that we feel in being with them. It’s a great tool, or guide, as there are exercises that will give you the confidence to BE with the person, full present and give them the greatest gift of your time and love that you can give. The ‘perk’ the book provides is so clear, easy and simple. Follow the commitments, read them, do the exercises and then practice them with everyone in your daily life. You’ll not just get good at the exercises, you will notice, quite quickly and with a full heart, the richness that comes to your life that you are then able to pass on to others. This is not just a book about being with those who are dying – this is a book that speaks to how to live fully, enriching the lives of all those whose lives we touch. While it is Life’s Last Gift it is also a Life Long Gift – if you take it to heart and live from yours fully. Highly recommended. I LOVED this book!

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

At one time or perhaps more than once, almost everyone will be in the position to hold the hand of someone dying. This book is a must read to prepare and support you. It takes an opinion that I happen to hold, which is that being at the side of someone dying is an intimate honor.

[Susan Nickel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good moral, nice stories.

[Shelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

My dad, who lives with me and my husband, turned 100 in June 2017. While he is pretty darn healthy, I know the time will come when he will be in his “dying time.” Until this book, I felt lost about how to best support him in this phase of his life journey. I now have a road map for navigating this precious and sacred process, and I hope the professionals who may be engaged in my dad's care at "the end" will have read this too. This is no "woo-woo," touchy-feely tome for the "new age." The approaches described here are based on a whole career of research, observation, personal and professional experience, and teaching thousands to serve others in times of great personal turmoil and grief.

I have discovered another important application for the wisdom Dr. Garfield shares. This book is a guide for anyone who wants to improve their ability to build and sustain relationships that are deep, meaningful, respectful, and based on giving our authentic selves to others with love, compassion, strength, and kindness. I can’t think of anyone who would not benefit from the insights and suggestions this book offers. What a gift indeed! (And the gift-giving season is coming soon!)

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am feeling like I've come full circle. I became an emotional and practical support volunteer at the Santa Cruz AIDS Project in 1991. SCAP's program was based on the Shanti Project that Charlie created. Four years later, I moved to San Francisco and became a volunteer at Shanti. Becoming a volunteer in my mid-40s taught me 'who and how' I was in this world. My life was enriched beyond measure by the experiences I was honored to be part of in my ten years with Shanti. And now, as my mom is halfway through her 94th year, Charlie is once again teaching me, reminding me, of how to be present. This book is beautifully written...it offers solace, suggestions, and practical examples of how to make the best of perhaps the hardest work any of us will ever have to do. Bless you, Charlie. For sure this is your legacy.

[Pat Lampe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave great ideas of how to handle end-of-life situations. I thought it was helpful and frank. The only problem I had with the book was its structure. It was set up to cover many different scenarios but the answer to them all was pretty much the same. I think it became repetitive even while being a very good book. Im glad I read it.