Confessions of a Shop Assistant

by Jonathan May

Sphere 1975 paperback, fine In stock shipped from our UK warehouse

144 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1974

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Pseudonym used by Laurence James.

Reviews

[Tara Nienaber · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were times I was so exasperated with the main character. The ending is pretty predictable....

[Aussiescribbler Aussiescribbler · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 1971, an advertising executive named Christopher Wood wrote a very successful novel called Confessions of a Window Cleaner, using the name of it's accident-prone and sex-mad protagonist - Timothy Lea - as his pseudonym. It was the first of 19 Timothy Lea books, written in the first person, and mostly the present tense, in a wildly pun-filled working class slang.

The first eight Timothy Lea books were published by Sphere Books. When Wood jumped ship and took the franchise to Futura, Sphere responded to hiring a replacement. Laurence James was another pulp novelist best known for his science fiction, although he was also known to branch out into westerns and books about bikie gangs. He created Jonathan May, another accident prone and sex-mad lad, this time from Birmingham, seeking to make his way in London. May's narrative is less slang-heavy, but in it's place we have his tendency to break off the story every time he remembers a joke he feels like sharing. These jokes are pretty creaky affairs. I suppose they weren't quite so old in 1974. In these and elsewhere, May has a way of going very very far to set up a really bad pun. Still, Austin Powers fans will no doubt appreciate the presence of an Arabic princess named Ilufta ben Dova.

One thing Laurence has in common with Wood, is a tendency to plug his other novels in the Confessions series. "Maybe the author of Angels from Hell once lived round here? Even ran for this very train," speculates May.

And when he wants to tell a joke about a man who goes to hell, he choses to name him Laurence. I suppose a lot of people might think that the author of the following passage, deserves to go to hell :

I completely forgot about the lady from the Orient in 'Armour' corselet until an hour after lunch. The other girls also forgot her.

Let's face it: it can never be a good day that ends up with you discovering a Chink in your armour!

James is no Wood when it comes to the comic writing. Some of the outlandish slapstick and clever wordplay in the Timothy Lea books is truly transcendent. And Wood also had a knack for genuine pathos at times. By any objective assessment this is a significant step down from those books, but I can't help rating it fairly high all the same because I had fun with every page. The action may be more predictable, but the descriptions and mock repartee with the reader still keep it lively and engaging.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of a large series of dirty books published in the 1970s, with obvious similarities to "Are You Being Served ?", "The Adventures Of Barry Mackenzie" and other dirty Australian films of the era.

May is a young man that woman find strangely attractive. Getting work in a store not a million miles unlike Grace Brothers, he gets into a series of situations with staff and customers, including an Arab heiress.

There isn't much description, it's mostly a series of jokes and situations. Anyone under about 70 years old will have trouble recognising most of the pop-cultural references.

If you're reading a second-hand copy, don't forget to wash your hands afterwards.