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Fifty-Five Unemployed and Faking Normal
You’re in your fifties and sixties and have saved nothing or not nearly enough to retire. You don’t want to be blamed or shamed about it. Too late for that. What you want to know is whether there’s anything you can do now to intercept the precarious financial path you’re on. Are there actions you can take (or not take) to have a shot at a decent retirement?
Fifty-five, Unemployed, and Faking Normal culls wisdom from boomers navigating the path ahead. It invites you to join with others to look beyond your immediate surroundings and circumstances to what is possible in the new normal of financial insecurity. It is the book to read before you embark on one of those weekend pre-retirement planning workshops or register online for a “get back on track” webinar that only reminds you how far behind you are. And consider starting with this book before you attend yet another “stand around” networking event that leaves you feeling worse about your situation not better.
Containing over 100 online resources, Fifty-five, Unemployed, and Faking Normal is the book to read to help you navigate the emotional aspects of where you’ve landed. It is where to turn when you want to know what steps you can take to steady yourself enough to go another round.
Fifty-five, Unemployed, and Faking Normal culls wisdom from boomers navigating the path ahead. It invites you to join with others to look beyond your immediate surroundings and circumstances to what is possible in the new normal of financial insecurity. It is the book to read before you embark on one of those weekend pre-retirement planning workshops or register online for a “get back on track” webinar that only reminds you how far behind you are. And consider starting with this book before you attend yet another “stand around” networking event that leaves you feeling worse about your situation not better.
Containing over 100 online resources, Fifty-five, Unemployed, and Faking Normal is the book to read to help you navigate the emotional aspects of where you’ve landed. It is where to turn when you want to know what steps you can take to steady yourself enough to go another round.
216 pages, Paperback
Published December 15, 2016
About the author
Elizabeth White
2 books7 followersElizabeth White is an author and seasoned nonprofit executive with domestic and international expertise in economic development, aging solutions, and gender equality. Ms. White earned an MBA from Harvard Business School, a Masters in International Studies from Johns Hopkins University, and a BS in Political Science from Oberlin College. She has written for Next Avenue, Forbes, Huffington Post, The American Society on Aging newsletter, Encore.org, and Sixty and Me. She has also been featured in The Christian Science Monitor and AARP Disrupt Aging newsletter. She resides in Washington, DC, with her daughter and grandson. She is the author of 55, Unemployed, and Faking Normal.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 7, 2017
Don't wait until your 50's to heed this advice
I know so many people already struggling with unemployment and age discrimination in their forties. There's very sound advice and empathy in this book, my only additional suggestion would be to research online, low cost educational opportunities that are available online. A few of which, like Coursera and EdX have allowed me to transition to new careers three times. The "Never stop learning" (and documenting your learning) advice is absolutely critical.
I know so many people already struggling with unemployment and age discrimination in their forties. There's very sound advice and empathy in this book, my only additional suggestion would be to research online, low cost educational opportunities that are available online. A few of which, like Coursera and EdX have allowed me to transition to new careers three times. The "Never stop learning" (and documenting your learning) advice is absolutely critical.
February 2, 2017
New Perspectives on New Phenomenon of Aging and Retirement at 55
This book finally addressed my experiences as a woman who was retired at the age of 43, who never expected to stay in retirement. The personal sense of frustration, loss and personal failure, that I encountered, while trying to secure meaningful employment, was becoming my sick secret. The lack of enthusiasm, creativity, and even purposeful living, is a killer, in so many ways. This book has helped begin to see I am not a failure and that I am not alone. I especially appreciate the numerous references throughout the book, that I can use to investigate various ideas and subjects, more thoroughly. I now feel I might be on a mission to break out of the doldrums of my way too early retirement from life and living, at the age of 61.
This book finally addressed my experiences as a woman who was retired at the age of 43, who never expected to stay in retirement. The personal sense of frustration, loss and personal failure, that I encountered, while trying to secure meaningful employment, was becoming my sick secret. The lack of enthusiasm, creativity, and even purposeful living, is a killer, in so many ways. This book has helped begin to see I am not a failure and that I am not alone. I especially appreciate the numerous references throughout the book, that I can use to investigate various ideas and subjects, more thoroughly. I now feel I might be on a mission to break out of the doldrums of my way too early retirement from life and living, at the age of 61.
April 21, 2019
This book has given me a lot to think about as I plan my future.
March 22, 2018
Although somewhat repetitious, nevertheless this book will be helpful to many in this or similar predicaments. Its key message that one needs to be resilient is an important one and the book presents ways people can take steps to re-set their lives. A big criticism I have is that the author bends over backwards to say people shouldn't feel guilty that the day to day or periodic extravagances (like lattes or manicures, etc) are the reason for a personal financial crisis when in fact, a LIFE-LONG commitment to the philosophy, "a penny saved is a penny earned," would have provided a nice cushion useful to help survive most of life's financial setbacks. The book should have had a stronger message that people should look at themselves to determine what they did (or are doing) that might contribute to a precarious financial position rather than trying to make people feel blameless and blaming outside forces like the government (social security benefits' inadequacy as retirement income) the stock market and housing market, or employers. In reality, Americans would be better off if they accepted that there's no such thing as job security, the stock market is a gamble (save your money in a less risky vehicle) and don't buy a house you stretch to afford, buy one well within your means (even if you feel it is "beneath" you).
September 12, 2019
Elizabeth White eloquently tells the story of the impact of age discrimination on hard-working, educated professionals -- those who’d been brought up to believe their education and experience would guarantee them a comfortable life.
Her own story is typical. She was fifty-five when the recession of 2008 hit. Losing both her consulting jobs, she remained unemployed for many years. She got a two-year job which took her to age sixty. And then, with no work in sight, she began to run out of money.
You know people who fit this pattern, she says. “Faking normal” takes energy. An acquaintance "lives without cable, her gym membership, or nail appointments. She’s discovered that she can do her own hair. She has no retirement savings, no nest egg. She exhausted that long ago…Friends wonder privately how someone so well-educated could be in economic free fall. She is still as talented as ever and as smart as a whip, but her work is sketchy now, mostly on-and-off consulting gigs.” (Pp 7-8).
What distinguishes this book from others, besides the heart-felt first person experience, is White’s detailed account of downsizing her life — the unglamorous economies, the $1.99 jug of laundry detergent, the mineral water replacing the $12 glass of wine.
“Small is not beautiful,” she says. “It’s living in a shoe box without windows or Wi-Fi and paying $1,800 per month for the privilege.” (P 13)
What bothered me as I read this book is the sense of inevitability. White writes (p 68): “Sure, a few of us will manage to find traditional w—2 jobs paying that long bread like before. But many more of us can expect months or even years of unemployment that deplete our savings and shake our confidence.”
The benefit of Resilience Circles wasn't obvious, except as a way to validate experience and emphasize that "you're not alone." It seems that these circles, with the exercises she suggested, would just be a way of exchanging uninformed experience. What's needed is an outside perspective -- someone who can make suggestions and provide insights that aren't obvious to those undergoing the process.
I would see this statement as an invitation to ask, "What differentiates those who survive and thrive in their fifties? Why do some aging professionals continue to find jobs that pay market wages and give them a comfortable lifestyle?"
At a certain point, your career is like a merry-go-round. it stops turning when you reach an age when you're unemployed, whether due to forced retirement, illness or layoffs. And you can't get back on. White encourages us to adapt to life off the merry-go-round. I'd say instead, try to find ways to stay on, even if you move to a different place.
From my own non-scientific analysis and observation, I'd say the winners get to continue rather than start over. They're in fields or companies that don't have an upper age limit. For instance, many lawyers continue practicing well into their 70s. But I met an airline reservations agent in her 70s, who's been with her airline over 20 years and is now part-time. I've heard about an 80-year-old bus driver in a major city. In my coworking space (which has people of all ages), I met a 60+ man who started a web design business.
I've also met many people who started businesses in their forties, fifties and sixties, beginning as a side hustle and then going full time. I interviewed a dozen of those people and created a product for my own business. White's chapter on entrepreneurship is one of the best, although the resources suggested seem more of a laundry list.
White seems quick to accept AARP as a helpful resource. Many people have become disillusioned with AARP, which seems to do little to help older people find meaningful work. AARP carefully stayed neutral in the last election, when there were clear differences in outcome for older Americans between the leading presidential candidates.
On p 105 White cites an AARp study saying, “more than 70 million older adults ages 50 and older suffer from at least one chronic condition…” What is a “condition?” A condition is not a disease and there’s quite a bit of controversy about how meaningful those diagnoses are. Read Gilbert Welch's books and articles on overdiagnosis. I’d like to see support for “better outcomes are tied to early detection, preventative are and how well we take care of ourselves…” In particular, researchers have questioned the value of bone density scans in avoiding fractures.
There's nothing wrong with scaling down. I admire anyone who's accepted adverse circumstances with grace and a positive attitude. But I'd encourage people in their 30s, 40s and 50s to plan for a life when they won't be able to find a corporate job that matches their skills and education. Learn the ins and outs of self-employment, whether you're walking dogs, serving as a personal concierge (running errands and shopping), being a virtual assistant or freelancing your skills.
At any age, before you reach the point of buying $1.99 containers of detergent, find yourself a good career coach or consultant. In this book, one man reports getting a free session from a life coach; she'd noticed him on LinkedIn and reached out.
“Sandy didn’t help me find a job," he says, "but she helped me shift my energy and reset my headspace," he says. Nearly everyone who's made the transition has worked with at least one consultant or coach. I know others who have gone to the Small Business Administration in their cities. The quality of coaches and SBA volunteer consultants will vary a great deal; you have to choose carefully. But start early and work smart.
If Elizabeth White had consulted a really good executive coach while she still had resources, she'd be in a very different place today. White herself could have developed a coaching businesses as her consulting jobs ended in 2008. She'd have slow going at first, but she could leverage her knowledge of how big companies work to help others. But of course then there'd be no article, no Ted talk, and book...and White herself will probably find herself a successful entrepreneur as her message seems to resonate with all too many people.
Her own story is typical. She was fifty-five when the recession of 2008 hit. Losing both her consulting jobs, she remained unemployed for many years. She got a two-year job which took her to age sixty. And then, with no work in sight, she began to run out of money.
You know people who fit this pattern, she says. “Faking normal” takes energy. An acquaintance "lives without cable, her gym membership, or nail appointments. She’s discovered that she can do her own hair. She has no retirement savings, no nest egg. She exhausted that long ago…Friends wonder privately how someone so well-educated could be in economic free fall. She is still as talented as ever and as smart as a whip, but her work is sketchy now, mostly on-and-off consulting gigs.” (Pp 7-8).
What distinguishes this book from others, besides the heart-felt first person experience, is White’s detailed account of downsizing her life — the unglamorous economies, the $1.99 jug of laundry detergent, the mineral water replacing the $12 glass of wine.
“Small is not beautiful,” she says. “It’s living in a shoe box without windows or Wi-Fi and paying $1,800 per month for the privilege.” (P 13)
What bothered me as I read this book is the sense of inevitability. White writes (p 68): “Sure, a few of us will manage to find traditional w—2 jobs paying that long bread like before. But many more of us can expect months or even years of unemployment that deplete our savings and shake our confidence.”
The benefit of Resilience Circles wasn't obvious, except as a way to validate experience and emphasize that "you're not alone." It seems that these circles, with the exercises she suggested, would just be a way of exchanging uninformed experience. What's needed is an outside perspective -- someone who can make suggestions and provide insights that aren't obvious to those undergoing the process.
I would see this statement as an invitation to ask, "What differentiates those who survive and thrive in their fifties? Why do some aging professionals continue to find jobs that pay market wages and give them a comfortable lifestyle?"
At a certain point, your career is like a merry-go-round. it stops turning when you reach an age when you're unemployed, whether due to forced retirement, illness or layoffs. And you can't get back on. White encourages us to adapt to life off the merry-go-round. I'd say instead, try to find ways to stay on, even if you move to a different place.
From my own non-scientific analysis and observation, I'd say the winners get to continue rather than start over. They're in fields or companies that don't have an upper age limit. For instance, many lawyers continue practicing well into their 70s. But I met an airline reservations agent in her 70s, who's been with her airline over 20 years and is now part-time. I've heard about an 80-year-old bus driver in a major city. In my coworking space (which has people of all ages), I met a 60+ man who started a web design business.
I've also met many people who started businesses in their forties, fifties and sixties, beginning as a side hustle and then going full time. I interviewed a dozen of those people and created a product for my own business. White's chapter on entrepreneurship is one of the best, although the resources suggested seem more of a laundry list.
White seems quick to accept AARP as a helpful resource. Many people have become disillusioned with AARP, which seems to do little to help older people find meaningful work. AARP carefully stayed neutral in the last election, when there were clear differences in outcome for older Americans between the leading presidential candidates.
On p 105 White cites an AARp study saying, “more than 70 million older adults ages 50 and older suffer from at least one chronic condition…” What is a “condition?” A condition is not a disease and there’s quite a bit of controversy about how meaningful those diagnoses are. Read Gilbert Welch's books and articles on overdiagnosis. I’d like to see support for “better outcomes are tied to early detection, preventative are and how well we take care of ourselves…” In particular, researchers have questioned the value of bone density scans in avoiding fractures.
There's nothing wrong with scaling down. I admire anyone who's accepted adverse circumstances with grace and a positive attitude. But I'd encourage people in their 30s, 40s and 50s to plan for a life when they won't be able to find a corporate job that matches their skills and education. Learn the ins and outs of self-employment, whether you're walking dogs, serving as a personal concierge (running errands and shopping), being a virtual assistant or freelancing your skills.
At any age, before you reach the point of buying $1.99 containers of detergent, find yourself a good career coach or consultant. In this book, one man reports getting a free session from a life coach; she'd noticed him on LinkedIn and reached out.
“Sandy didn’t help me find a job," he says, "but she helped me shift my energy and reset my headspace," he says. Nearly everyone who's made the transition has worked with at least one consultant or coach. I know others who have gone to the Small Business Administration in their cities. The quality of coaches and SBA volunteer consultants will vary a great deal; you have to choose carefully. But start early and work smart.
If Elizabeth White had consulted a really good executive coach while she still had resources, she'd be in a very different place today. White herself could have developed a coaching businesses as her consulting jobs ended in 2008. She'd have slow going at first, but she could leverage her knowledge of how big companies work to help others. But of course then there'd be no article, no Ted talk, and book...and White herself will probably find herself a successful entrepreneur as her message seems to resonate with all too many people.
April 22, 2018
This book addresses the reality for so many of my peers and friends living in the United States, particularly those who are black women. One layoff or "wrong" move can leave you in such a precarious position.
For those in this position, the author suggests some ways to cope, including developing an inner support circle to help you through the rough patches. (There are prompts for group discussions included.) Most valuable are the resources included for older adults, including options for housing and employment.
For those in this position, the author suggests some ways to cope, including developing an inner support circle to help you through the rough patches. (There are prompts for group discussions included.) Most valuable are the resources included for older adults, including options for housing and employment.
February 21, 2018
This book is packed with resources people can use right away. I thought I knew a lot about "living low to the ground," but I learned new things. The best part is the Resiliency Circles sections at the end of each chapter, with discussion questions. I don't have a Resiliency Circle (I would like to start one), but the questions are great for consideration on your own.
October 16, 2018
Wow. Talk about gut wrenching...but, a great book, and SO WORTH reading. Anyone will benefit: the 55+ age community, millennials, those just entering the work force, or re-entering the workforce. This book is a story all the way, but the "guide" book portion is truly beneficial and will serve you well.
September 18, 2017
Very good! Eye opening. Freaking out about where you sit for retirement? You are not alone. Practical. Reality. Helpful.
September 6, 2025
A thoughtful, practical read that invites you to stop “faking normal” and build a life that matches your values. The guidance is clear: be honest with yourself, set ego aside and ask for help, decide what “enough” looks like, and run small experiments to see what works. Progress comes from simple, steady steps toward your goals.
December 23, 2017
Although I am probably financially better off than most described in this book, I could certainly relate to being of a mature age in the job market. (was nodding my head at some stories) Was inspired by the resilience of people in this book.
March 5, 2021
An important and revealing look at the real route to pursuing the American Dream and where too many find themselves despite doing everything they were supposed to do. This books inspires with creativity, drive and striving that occurs across our lifespans.
October 5, 2021
Timely and possibly jarring resource. This book has helped me steady myself as I build a foundation for my next chapter.
April 13, 2017
Fabulous - helped me face reality
May 7, 2019
A lot of information is packed into this book. It's not a good read, but if you're in a certain place in life, it's a necessary one.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews