Crust

by Lawrence Shainberg

“Wild as sin and as exceptional as the lower reaches of insanity itself.”—Norman Mailer “One of the most perverse satires I’ve ever read.”—Jonathan Lethem "[A] Vonnegut-worthy satire." —Joshua Glenn, Boston Globe "A postmodern examination of the self that teases the very idea of postmodernism... that rare bit of lampoonery that is both humorous and smart." —Tod Goldberg, Los Angeles Times Book Review "Half DeLillo's Jack Gladney, professor of Hitler studies at College-on-the-Hill, and half Christopher Hitchens, Linchak is a model pundit for a post-9/11 death-obsessed, long-winded, addicted to Googling himself, and, on the sly, an inveterate nose-picker. Crust is about mindless compulsion, or the digital search for oblivion, or a comment on the jaded habits of a citizenry that's had its private domain annexed by omnipotent admen." —Zach Baron, Village Voice The epigraph for this uproarious novel is from Marcel “Everything that man handles has a tendency to secrete meaning.” In this case, the secretion begins as a crust in the nose of famed novelist Walker Linchak. Its extraction leads to further secretion in the form of intellectual and spiritual insight into “the habit once called nose-picking”; a book, The Complete Book of Nasalism , a memoir about his breakthrough; an endless succession of blog entries; and a constant rush of e-mail exchanges with friends like George W. Bush, who is moved by Linchak’s passion for the habit to confess his own on Larry King Live . Joining the stream of nose-picking research and literature that already exists on the Internet, Linchak’s secretion generates more of the same in books, the visual arts, all forms of media, academic scholarship, and medical and scientific research on crusts and their extraction. Crust is the book that Swift would produce if he took on Information Glut. Lawrence Shainberg is the author of two novels— One on One and Memories of Amnesia —and the nonfiction books Brain An Intimate View of His World and Ambivalent Zen . His fiction and journalism have appeared in Esquire , Harper’s Magazine , Tricycle , and The New York Times Magazine . He is the recipient of a Pushcart Prize for a monograph on Samuel Beckett, published in The Paris Review .

222 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2008

Reviews

[Mythili · Rating 2 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this at the Brooklyn Festival of the Book and was so intrigued by the Norman Mailer blurb (which I present to you below in full) that I had to have it (being penniless, this meant cajoling the good people hawking it into giving me a free copy). I mean, have you ever seen a blurb like this?

"Crust is unique. I know of no other novel remotely like it. The first words that come to mind are daring, daunting, irreligious in the extreme, an academic send-up and a grasp with no small grin of the essential mindlessness and urge to power that besets humans and creates new ventures. It's wild as sin and revolting as vomit and as exceptional as the lower reaches of insanity itself."

The basic idea is that in the not-so-distant information-overloaded future, nose-picking literally becomes the cultural sensation. I'm prepared for a wild ride; will let you know how it goes.

Update: I'm more than halfway in and more than a little bored. The first 50 pages were fresh and raucous but after that it's just been more of the same. Which is to say, the book seems to deliver a diluted version of its blurbed promises -- it's "perverse" and "single-minded," as Jonathan Lethem put it -- but doesn't seem to have much more to offer. I think I was hoping that the satire would extend beyond narrator Walter Linchak's nasal passage into a more dynamic plotline. Alas. There are no thuggish villains for our protagonist to confront, no explosions and no conspiracies, no chase scenes or mysterious strangers, and really only one joke, stretched thin like an errant strand of snot.

Boogers and footnotes. Ha, ha.

[Paul · Rating 1 out of 5]

Forgettable drivel

[Heronimo Gieronymus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crust was a good book for me to read. And it was good for me to read some reviews afterwards. Norman Mailer clearly, in his blurb on the Two Dollar Radio edition, reads the novel waaaaaay differently than I do. I had a suspicion that most critics probably read this book more like Mailer does than like I do. I was correct. It is a satire, sure. The book is not always very strong as social critique, however. If you were to read this whole book as farce and cunning mockery I cannot see how you could possibly truly enjoy it. As this is a book in which the narrator is a passionate advocate of the spiritually transformative possibilities of mindful nose-picking (Nasalism), one cannot help but go in hoping for hilarity. I would recommend going because there is genuine wisdom there. The narrator's psychotherapist brother claims that all this Nasalism is masturbatory, a perfect way for a self-important writer to disappear up his own ass. Where the satire hits well, here, however, is precisely in detailing a world away from which it makes sense for us to disappear up our own ass! Many people are going to see (and have) the narrator's pursuit of Nasalism and PostNasalism as a kind of parody of, to paraphrase one critics, New Age cults of self-actualization. That's a safely cynical read. And the opposite of mine. The book is actually very wise, which is to say: yes, there is GENUINE wisdom to be found in Nasalism itself. Is it silly to struggle to finds ways to function in the world that are good for our spirits and our brains? This is actually best as a book about neuroscience and wellbeing that happens to be suffused w/ satirical elements. I find it impossible to imagine that Shainberg doesn't want the book to be gleaned for genuine wisdom concerning mindfulness. What is PostNasalism but the living realization that it is mindfulness that frees us from the mind (perchance to make us sane)? That right there on its own is wisdom unmuddied by satire. The fact that the book begins w/ the epigraph from Duchamp ("Everything that man handles has a tendency to secrete meaning") is something I cannot help but read as a direct suggestion to read much of what is to come seriously. I suppose that there cannot be many of us folks who deviate wide of the lyrical-realist mode that dominates contemporary literature and come looking to these farcical postmodern meta-riffs for genuine insight into psychospiritual health, but I happen to be that particular dude. The novel has some serious problems, mind you. I am not going to elucidate those. I say read it. Why not?

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had no idea when I picked up this book that it is about boogers. More specifically, about nose-picking. Or, to couch it in the academic terms used within the book, "nasalism." Hilarious send-up of the publishing industry and academic research!

[Erin Heil · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is an arduous read of a fictional phase of human philosophy known as Nasalism (i.e., nose picking). Although it had an underlying message of social thought and actions, the explicit discussion of nose picking and boogers discussed me to the point that I was unable to finish the book.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Way to commit to a bit, bro.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

A novel about the erotic and meditative qualities of snot and nose-picking.

[kim McRad · Rating 4 out of 5]

brilliant satire + a book about nose-picking=hilarious.

[Steve Wiggins · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very strange novel on an equally strange topic. Very funny nevertheless, and a great send-up of those who take themselves too seriously. Not for the squeamish, however.