The Woman Behind the Smile: Triumph Over the Ultimate Online Dating Betrayal

by Debby Montgomery Johnson

Debby Montgomery Johnson is a woman on a mission. In her book she shares her personal experience with a love that turned into betrayal and financial disaster and she removes the mask of shame and shows others how do to the same. Many of us have something, something we’re hiding, something we’re ashamed of, something thatthrough no fault of our own or through our own making, something that we keep hidden and that, in turn, keeps us hidden, from each other and the world.

Genres: True Crime

112 pages, Paperback

Published October 28, 2016

Reviews

[Kristi]

This book really impacted me in ways I didn't think it could. My husband is overweight and I am constantly getting comments from both sides of the family about "what if" his health caused an early demise. I actually felt relieved when she said her husband died in his mid 50s because in our early 30s, that still sounds like a long way away. Yet, it does cause a twinge of fear. I don't know what I would do if I because a widow. Her insecurities about dating again seemed to mirror the thoughts I have if I was ever put into that kind of situation.

Then, little comments made me realize that we share similar religious beliefs and that created a strong bond instantly. Her experiences took on a new light. It made me realize that sometimes I think I can hide behind my faith and assume really bad things can't happen to me. Her experience opened my eyes more to realize that faith gives us strength to overcome anything, and is not meant to keep us from experiences - whether they be good or bad.

I do have to say, I believe she was scammed twice. The way I read it, her scammer found the errors of his ways and came out to ask forgiveness and that's how she learned the truth. Yet, in my eyes, that was the second part of the scam. By asking for forgiveness, he was able to cleanly end the scam with her and continue on to focus on another person. I know that is very negative thinking, but it was the first thought to come to my mind when I read it and my husband's response to the situation confirmed my feelings. As I described the book to him, I was surprised at the shift in his opinion about the scammer when I mentioned it was a Nigerian. "Oh, scamming is a business in Nigeria. There is no way to get that money back because the executives have already gotten their take from the scam." He told me about his understanding on the Nigerian scamming enterprises. Wow, I hope that this scammer really was helping his family, but I'm afraid that is wishful thinking.

I will admit, this book had me become more fearful of online dating. I cannot believe someone would go through so much effort for so long just to scam. It is very eye opening and I am proud of the author's courage to come out with her story. I just can't comprehend why another human being would behave in such a manner as that scammer did. It's so sad. I will definitely take the author's advice and remember her reflections throughout the book.

I want to recommend this book to anyone and everyone. Not only to those who have online dating accounts, but I think there is wise information in this book that can apply to any type of online social interactions. We truly don't know who we are talking to when we communicate via email, chat, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Instagram, Reddit, etc. We should be careful of our emotions and feelings - and our money.

I received a copy of the book from Loving The Book in exchange for an honest review.

[Susan Watkins]

Widow equals lonely

In the beginning of her book, I could have written this book. The story, the emails, the conversation were all too familiar. (Beware of live sings) I wish I had read thus book a year and half ago when I started online dating. But because of Debby and others like her, I was not scammed to nearly the amount she was. Her courage to open up will have a huge impact on men and women who are willing to listen! If you feel like you're caving, go find a friend to talk yourself out of it. Carry on, Debby!

[SundayAtDusk]

The most interesting thing about this romance scam story was how someone so intelligent and so knowledgeable about finances could send someone she never met in person for two years $1,000,000 dollars. This wasn't a woman suffering from dementia, or a desperately lonely woman with no family or friends or offline life. Debby Montgomery Johnson was in the past an Air Force intelligence officer, a paralegal and a bank manager, too. What was she thinking? She tries to explain what in this short book, which could have been written a bit better.

It was written well enough, though, and captivating enough to read in one sitting. By the end, I was wondering if those like her who lost so much money were fighting against the idea that money is so important, that money should always be the top concern to any responsible adult. Were those like her trying to testify love is more important than money and always should be? They would prove that, too, and love will prevail. Only when scammed, love does not prevail. Financial horror prevails, desperation prevails, embarrassment prevails.

Another intriguing thing about Ms. Johnson's story was her scammer confesses one day, instead of simply ghosting her. As a Christian, he felt guilty and wanted to explain he scammed her only in order to provide for his younger orphaned siblings. Was this another type of scam, a psychological type, or a sincere plea for forgiveness? The author first refused to believe her online love wasn't real, but that he was trying to break up with her in a weird way. What did she do wrong to end their love? Finally, he sends a picture of the real him, and he looks nothing like the pictures he previously sent. Instead of the tall, white, rugged, middle-aged British man she believed him to be, he was a young rotund Nigerian man.

Reality sets in and money takes the spotlight once again in her life. What happened to all the money she sent him? She could not forgive unless he paid back every cent she sent. He promises to repay, but, of course, Ms. Johnson never gets a dime back, and no legal action can be taken against a Nigerian. Hence, this book, as well as her website The Woman Behind The Smile. She wants to help other women avoid being scammed, as well as offer psychological support for those who were scammed. She wants to help them understand the root reasons for ending up a scam victim, even when one is so intelligent, so highly educated and so experienced in real world life.

[Kate Lott]

Good Book with Honesty

I appreciate Debby’s willingness to come forward with her experience. She is courageous to share an experience that would be very humiliating and embarrassing. Everyone who has been scammed through online dating, or thinks something may not be right with their online dating should read this book. They will know they are not alone, and may find the courage to admit to people they have been scammed.

[Judith Miracle]

Authentic

I like Debby’s explanation of her thoughts and feelings as this scenario unfolded. What set her story apart from others I have read is the admission of guilt by her scammer, and his story as well. I too have been scammed by a Nigerian but I’ve never gotten the chance to see the real guy.

[Tanja Ragonesi]

Time to end scams like these

Frederick Obiora has written a book called Scammers Paradise that will give victims of romance scams like the one Debby shared, more insight into how this sick and twisted industry works. I really enjoyed Debby's book - it was beautiful written, honest and heartbreaking.

[Marian Miller]

Online Dating

Really disaponting not the personal story i was wishing to read jjumps from personal to warning of scsmmer to much.

[Sheila (sheilasbookreviewer)]

At the beginning of the book Debby says to her readers that, "I want to inspire you to uncover your untold story...remove your mask and STAND Up to your Power. Stand up for your heart, your health, and your happiness." This whole book had a very positive message about how to make your life better regardless of what has happened to you.

Debby had many hard things happen in her life including losing her husband when he died young, and then falling in love with someone online who turned out to be a scammer who robbed her of a huge amount of money. Either of these things would have crushed most people, but Debby showed her bravery by being honest about her experiences and now tells her story to help others.

"I want to learn to be FINE...Fulfilled, Inspired, Naturally beautiful and Exceptional. But many times FINE means something less than fine." This thought in the book hit me with a punch. I always tell people I am "Fine" and give a big smile. This book is about how to not let our fears and insecurities rule our lives, but make changes that will empower us. It also gives many great tips of how to be aware of who you interact with while online. It's easy to hide who you really are from others, especially online. Debby tells her story to inform others how to stay safe from possible scammers that are out there. For those of us that are single I read carefully the tips she gave throughout the book.

I've met Debby in real life and she is an amazing lady. She is very inspiring, as is her book. This book while speaking of things that could have been total roadblocks in her life, stays positive and leaves the reader with hope amidst life's struggles. I hope people will read this and feel as uplifted and truly learn to be FINE and wear true smiles of happiness.

[Katie K.]

Debby Montgomery duped online.