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An Illusion of Normal: The True Story of a Child's Survival in a Home Tormented by Mental Illness
She guards a secret. Mom is "sick in the head."
In an era when speaking of mental illness was taboo, Linda learns from an early age not to talk about her mother's bizarre behavior. Now her mother's escape from a would-be killer threatens to expose the family secret. They are not a normal family.
Finally, after her mother's extended stays in mental institutions, Linda accepts that her Mom will never be normal. That, she assumes, makes her abnormal as well. She wrestles against her father's abuse and constant shaming of her and her faith. Will she ever feel normal in an abnormal family? Did God make a mistake? Why is she in a home where she doesn't feel loved or accepted? Is there a way for her to break away from the shame that holds her captive? An Illusion of Normal is the riveting and award-winning memoir of the life of a child whose mother suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. At times shocking and heartbreaking, her story exposes the darkness in a home tormented by a parent's mental illness and the light that shows the way out.
"Schoonover's harrowing remembrance is unflinching, remarkable for a level of candor that demands courage. Her spare but moving prose tenderly portrays the terror and isolation she weathered as a child. Yet this is not a scornful lament but rather an inspiring account of personal triumph; the author writes affectingly about the love and sympathy she still has for her mother. This brief memoir is untainted by cloying self pity and full of wise counsel for others who have suffered similarly. An affecting look at childhood trauma." Kirkus Reviews
In an era when speaking of mental illness was taboo, Linda learns from an early age not to talk about her mother's bizarre behavior. Now her mother's escape from a would-be killer threatens to expose the family secret. They are not a normal family.
Finally, after her mother's extended stays in mental institutions, Linda accepts that her Mom will never be normal. That, she assumes, makes her abnormal as well. She wrestles against her father's abuse and constant shaming of her and her faith. Will she ever feel normal in an abnormal family? Did God make a mistake? Why is she in a home where she doesn't feel loved or accepted? Is there a way for her to break away from the shame that holds her captive? An Illusion of Normal is the riveting and award-winning memoir of the life of a child whose mother suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. At times shocking and heartbreaking, her story exposes the darkness in a home tormented by a parent's mental illness and the light that shows the way out.
"Schoonover's harrowing remembrance is unflinching, remarkable for a level of candor that demands courage. Her spare but moving prose tenderly portrays the terror and isolation she weathered as a child. Yet this is not a scornful lament but rather an inspiring account of personal triumph; the author writes affectingly about the love and sympathy she still has for her mother. This brief memoir is untainted by cloying self pity and full of wise counsel for others who have suffered similarly. An affecting look at childhood trauma." Kirkus Reviews
303 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 9, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
January 7, 2020
Wow... very inspirational story. I found it down to earth and eerily relate-able. I grew up in a dysfunctional family situation (not mental health like in this memoir) and have always wanted for myself a "normal" family with a traditional dad and mom. I grew up with an "absent dad" but it just meant i got closer to my mom. My childhood wasn't terrible but also felt like there was a missing piece. But what is exactly normal for a family anyway? As i get older I also find what seems like a "normal" family is not all what it seems. Every family seems to have its own issues/crosses to bear or something that is concealed making an "illusion" of normal when in reality it is anything but that. I don't think there is such thing as a normal family anymore. Each generation has their own hurts and pains and I believe in each new generation there is somewhat of a healing or a rebirth. The trauma or the pain gets less and less. My kids today are in a way better emotional, healthier family than what I was growing up in, with both a mother and father that love and respect one another. So that is a good thing! Working on becoming normal! :)
May 7, 2017
A inspirational story, based on the authors real life experiences, for anyone who has overcome difficult trials; such as a mentally ill parent or a controlling abusive parent. Linda Schoonover describes in detail her life from the age of 4 until 18 how her family appeared normal on the outside but within was absolutely dysfunctional. Within the times mental illness was shunned, secretive, and never to be mentioned (quite like it is today) however Linda has to live with this secret swept under the rug; quite like the abuse of her father. She was asked several times about her mother due to several odd moments in the eyes of others, although she busted to tell someone, she said little as she was conditioned by her father.
This book tugged at my heart strings knowing that many children had to deal with the aspect of control, mainly by the father being the head of the household, as well as the spouses of each. This was a ample look inside a illusion where all the problems were swept under the rug and ignored. It was hard to put down and was a quick read. In my personal opinion the story was much more then Linda's mothers schizophrenia but a tale of existing within a household of her father's emotional abuse and strong desire to control EVERYTHING. This story is much more than a story of growing up with a parent who has a mental illness but an escape from her father's mental and emotional torment.
The author at the end of this book brought happiness to a story of dire sadness within her childhood growth, with a spectator closing. An Illusion of Normal shares the story of bravery, a story open and shared now with everyone; no longer bottled inside or neatly swept under the rug such as her father reaction of not caring about his children. The author reveals her willingness and determination, even through a childhood reigned of abuse and chaos, to be much more than what she was told she could be. She broke down the wall put up by her father that women had a place in society and men were breadwinners and the one that work. She made a definite bold statement to her father with her actions in closing. It was a good read overall.
This book tugged at my heart strings knowing that many children had to deal with the aspect of control, mainly by the father being the head of the household, as well as the spouses of each. This was a ample look inside a illusion where all the problems were swept under the rug and ignored. It was hard to put down and was a quick read. In my personal opinion the story was much more then Linda's mothers schizophrenia but a tale of existing within a household of her father's emotional abuse and strong desire to control EVERYTHING. This story is much more than a story of growing up with a parent who has a mental illness but an escape from her father's mental and emotional torment.
The author at the end of this book brought happiness to a story of dire sadness within her childhood growth, with a spectator closing. An Illusion of Normal shares the story of bravery, a story open and shared now with everyone; no longer bottled inside or neatly swept under the rug such as her father reaction of not caring about his children. The author reveals her willingness and determination, even through a childhood reigned of abuse and chaos, to be much more than what she was told she could be. She broke down the wall put up by her father that women had a place in society and men were breadwinners and the one that work. She made a definite bold statement to her father with her actions in closing. It was a good read overall.
December 25, 2016
Sadness and tragedy, unfortunately rather true
Written in the first person, from childhood recollections, this is one of the books we like to pretend never happened. Surely, this is all a novel. This never happened. Just as the family spent effort pretending life behind their door was normal, those of us outside put effort into pretending we see nothing....walk on by. As the book progressed, the main thing that alarmed me was the father, who was apparently almost as disturbed as his wife. The resilience of the human spirit shines through the two young people as they survive, and learn to thrive. More than anything else, what it proves is an abusive, insane environment doesn't always produce abusive, insane people.
Written in the first person, from childhood recollections, this is one of the books we like to pretend never happened. Surely, this is all a novel. This never happened. Just as the family spent effort pretending life behind their door was normal, those of us outside put effort into pretending we see nothing....walk on by. As the book progressed, the main thing that alarmed me was the father, who was apparently almost as disturbed as his wife. The resilience of the human spirit shines through the two young people as they survive, and learn to thrive. More than anything else, what it proves is an abusive, insane environment doesn't always produce abusive, insane people.
August 22, 2017
It is hard to relive a childhood that you have buried deep inside of yourself. I'm so glad the author overcame and is a role model for all of the children who did not h n
Overcome the trauma and is an advocate for the children who are not able to speak out I'm very uplifted by the author and her strength. Thank you for being a voice for those of us who just never spoke out and weren't able to overcome the trauma of our childhood which still remains,perhaps we all can find peace.
Overcome the trauma and is an advocate for the children who are not able to speak out I'm very uplifted by the author and her strength. Thank you for being a voice for those of us who just never spoke out and weren't able to overcome the trauma of our childhood which still remains,perhaps we all can find peace.
June 10, 2017
Eye opening
This book details the reality of mental illness that the author experienced first hand. At times it was difficult to read because of what she described happened. It was very sad, but unfortunately, very true. It is terrible to come to the realization of the terrors of abuse that go on, yet it is inspiring to know that oftentimes many go on to lead amazing lives that help others who were in the position they were in not so long before.
This book details the reality of mental illness that the author experienced first hand. At times it was difficult to read because of what she described happened. It was very sad, but unfortunately, very true. It is terrible to come to the realization of the terrors of abuse that go on, yet it is inspiring to know that oftentimes many go on to lead amazing lives that help others who were in the position they were in not so long before.
July 6, 2017
This was a very sad story of mental illness of not one parent but two . It shows how resilient and strong one person can be to overcome such difficulties in life . Perseverance is the key to this story . There are so many people like Linda who have dealt with this problem and you wouldn't know it . Linda later became an advocate for child abuse and became a circuit judge . Empowering and unsettling at times ! A good read
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2017
Hope
The author writes about her life in a simple but compelling style. Her determination to get away from her mentally ill mother and abusive father comes true when she heads off to college. Good story.
The author writes about her life in a simple but compelling style. Her determination to get away from her mentally ill mother and abusive father comes true when she heads off to college. Good story.
August 26, 2017
A must read for anyone dealing with children ,teens and young adults.
5 stars ,easy good read.A real look inside the life of what many live in every day. Insightful,helpful and encoraging.
5 stars ,easy good read.A real look inside the life of what many live in every day. Insightful,helpful and encoraging.
February 14, 2017
Good
This book made me and I cried many tears, I'm glad things turned out for the best for all involved
This book made me and I cried many tears, I'm glad things turned out for the best for all involved
March 5, 2017
So encouraging
This book offers so much encouragement for people going through difficult times. It was so refreshing to see the author rebel in a healthy way.
This book offers so much encouragement for people going through difficult times. It was so refreshing to see the author rebel in a healthy way.
February 14, 2025
I met the author, Linda in Gainesville, FL at the Sunshine Book Festival recently, and talked to her quite a bit about this book and then chose it from a large table of literature during a drawing that I won 😀📚My lucky day!!
I was pulled into this heartbreaking true story from page one. The importance of outward appearance during that time destroyed families and damaged the security/ self-worth of the children. Linda brings that to life.
The descriptions of the protagonist’s mentally ill mother and abusive, controlling/ shaming father were so authentic. Linda, as a child, showed such compassion and support toward her mother whose spousal and son’s belittling and husband’s physical abuse/rejection were beautifully portrayed. I loved and rooted for Linda and mourned her mother’s half-lived life the whole way through.
I have experience in being the mother, and only participating parent, of three lovely girls, now adults, with diagnosed mental illness. I’m their biggest cheerleader and admire the courage required with psychological diagnosis and cheer our earned wisdom to reject common societal stigmas and ignorance of what’s sometimes called: an invisible disease.
My only critique would be several cliches used and dialogue that seemed off for young characters.
A vitally needed story and a must read!
I was pulled into this heartbreaking true story from page one. The importance of outward appearance during that time destroyed families and damaged the security/ self-worth of the children. Linda brings that to life.
The descriptions of the protagonist’s mentally ill mother and abusive, controlling/ shaming father were so authentic. Linda, as a child, showed such compassion and support toward her mother whose spousal and son’s belittling and husband’s physical abuse/rejection were beautifully portrayed. I loved and rooted for Linda and mourned her mother’s half-lived life the whole way through.
I have experience in being the mother, and only participating parent, of three lovely girls, now adults, with diagnosed mental illness. I’m their biggest cheerleader and admire the courage required with psychological diagnosis and cheer our earned wisdom to reject common societal stigmas and ignorance of what’s sometimes called: an invisible disease.
My only critique would be several cliches used and dialogue that seemed off for young characters.
A vitally needed story and a must read!
March 27, 2025
I have 3 library books staring at me and somehow this book jumped out at me from a kindle list someone made of “inspiring” books.
I always download samples and then add the book to my “want to read” folder after I’ve decided whether the sample seems good. From there it needs to patiently wait it’s turn.
This book, however, grabbed me from it’s first page and when the sample was done I bought it immediately and read it all in one day.
The things this woman (as a child) had to navigate in order to emotionally survive such a messed up childhood is heartbreaking. What settles into you the most is that abuse and neglect come in a huge spectrum and while some abuse is obvious some is quietly ignored and children slip through the cracks. We all must pay closer attention.
I always download samples and then add the book to my “want to read” folder after I’ve decided whether the sample seems good. From there it needs to patiently wait it’s turn.
This book, however, grabbed me from it’s first page and when the sample was done I bought it immediately and read it all in one day.
The things this woman (as a child) had to navigate in order to emotionally survive such a messed up childhood is heartbreaking. What settles into you the most is that abuse and neglect come in a huge spectrum and while some abuse is obvious some is quietly ignored and children slip through the cracks. We all must pay closer attention.
February 6, 2017
Her poor Mother!!
This was absolutely a good read, but, it wasn't the author that I primarily pitied. It was her poor mother. Not a soul cared to show compassion for all her torment her whole life and the author was engulfed in only herself. At least according to her writings. I realize she was young but even at the last she seemed critical of her mother's condition. And it's not that her mother could help that. Further I t seemed like through much of the book she made light of the situation with indirect dark humor. Not what I would say you'd think to see in a person really abused. Sad story all he way around though.
This was absolutely a good read, but, it wasn't the author that I primarily pitied. It was her poor mother. Not a soul cared to show compassion for all her torment her whole life and the author was engulfed in only herself. At least according to her writings. I realize she was young but even at the last she seemed critical of her mother's condition. And it's not that her mother could help that. Further I t seemed like through much of the book she made light of the situation with indirect dark humor. Not what I would say you'd think to see in a person really abused. Sad story all he way around though.
November 30, 2019
Wow.
I read this book in essentially one sitting. I could scarcely put it down. I can't imagine a childhood like that, how she managed to get through it with any sense of self esteem and confidence is beyond me. She's a gifted writer with an astonishing story of her own childhood.
I read this book in essentially one sitting. I could scarcely put it down. I can't imagine a childhood like that, how she managed to get through it with any sense of self esteem and confidence is beyond me. She's a gifted writer with an astonishing story of her own childhood.
June 17, 2020
Good read
I am constantly looking for books to read that are fact or true based. This book did not disappoint. However, it exemplifies the difficulty in being raised by parents who have mental health problems and just plain emotionally abusive. Great story of overcoming a difficult life!
I am constantly looking for books to read that are fact or true based. This book did not disappoint. However, it exemplifies the difficulty in being raised by parents who have mental health problems and just plain emotionally abusive. Great story of overcoming a difficult life!
February 27, 2018
I think this was an excellent book, It shows that environment does not always affect the growing child. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, such as Linda and her brother they both came out successfully. the father had mental issues also, he should have been hospitalized.
March 12, 2019
Good insight
While the book is slow moving it’s very interesting to be put in Linda’s shoe and see what it’s lIke having less than normal parents. Linda’s strength is inspiring and moving. I hope that the next reader will enjoy this book and be moved as I was.
While the book is slow moving it’s very interesting to be put in Linda’s shoe and see what it’s lIke having less than normal parents. Linda’s strength is inspiring and moving. I hope that the next reader will enjoy this book and be moved as I was.
February 17, 2018
This was a fantastic read
An eye opener knowing what children go through behind closed doors.
I definitely suggest this read. The father also seems to have a mental health issue.
An eye opener knowing what children go through behind closed doors.
I definitely suggest this read. The father also seems to have a mental health issue.
January 25, 2018
Touched my heart
Such a great book, the story is so vivid and distressing however I could not put it down. I think I’ll read it again!
Such a great book, the story is so vivid and distressing however I could not put it down. I think I’ll read it again!
March 10, 2019
Good insight
The stigma of mental illness has not gotten better. I think it makes people afraid to talk or think about it.
The stigma of mental illness has not gotten better. I think it makes people afraid to talk or think about it.
January 8, 2020
An encouraging, and relatable story!
Thank YOU for sharing this story of your life, the hard times you went through, and your triumph over your trials! God bless YOU!
Thank YOU for sharing this story of your life, the hard times you went through, and your triumph over your trials! God bless YOU!
January 19, 2020
Great story. I was moved by how she was able to survive the emotional and mental trauma of her childhood.
January 5, 2020
An illusion of Normal: The True Story of a Child
By Linda Schoonover I tried I mean I really tried to like this book the beginnings ok.then what happened? I don't know but it went bad fast
By Linda Schoonover I tried I mean I really tried to like this book the beginnings ok.then what happened? I don't know but it went bad fast
February 27, 2017
If I had known at the outset that this is the story of a woman who later became a circuit judge working in the field of adverse childhood experiences, I would probably have approached this book through different eyes. As it was, I read it as a straightforward account of suffering by one individual. It seems regrettable therefore that there wasn’t more written about how the experiences of one child are representative of a whole category of children, and what might have been done in the circumstances had there been intervention by the justice system.
February 3, 2019
Great read
Holds your attention. Hard to put down. Surprise happy ending and shows you can do anything you make up your mind to do
Holds your attention. Hard to put down. Surprise happy ending and shows you can do anything you make up your mind to do
May 16, 2025
A quiet, reflective memoir that explores the challenges of growing up in a troubled home. The story focuses on family, mental illness, and the search for identity and belonging. While it deals with difficult topics, the tone remains steady, offering a clear view into one person’s experience without overstatement.
February 7, 2017
I'm still reading it and will finish it, but the missing, misplaced, and extra punctuation is very distracting. Badly needs copy-editing.
February 3, 2017
Great book!
I felt her pain and saw her childhood through her eyes. wow. No-one can tell me that you can't overcome and succeed
I felt her pain and saw her childhood through her eyes. wow. No-one can tell me that you can't overcome and succeed
March 29, 2017
Very interesting read
I enjoyed this book very much. It was an easy read and you clearly felt the emotions of the author and her bravery under adverse circumstances. I would have liked to read more about the onset of her mothers illness and more about her brother. I really admire people who are willing to share their experiences with mental illness. We need more books like this as they help educate all of us.
I enjoyed this book very much. It was an easy read and you clearly felt the emotions of the author and her bravery under adverse circumstances. I would have liked to read more about the onset of her mothers illness and more about her brother. I really admire people who are willing to share their experiences with mental illness. We need more books like this as they help educate all of us.
April 9, 2017
Thankyou
Thankyou for this book...it so closely parallels my childhood and the energy it took to keep it a secret. I am so happy for your tenacity despite it all. I also had my animal friends to turn to...I was sad when precious Honey had to stay behind when you went to college...what became of her? Linda Crisp
Thankyou for this book...it so closely parallels my childhood and the energy it took to keep it a secret. I am so happy for your tenacity despite it all. I also had my animal friends to turn to...I was sad when precious Honey had to stay behind when you went to college...what became of her? Linda Crisp
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews