Self-Motivated Kids: Creating an Environment Where Children Listen and Cooperate

by Damara Simmons, Julie Brew Finlayson (Illustrator), Rudie Strummer (Illustrator)

Tens of millions of parents have tried yelling, manipulating, threatening, bribing, nagging, and even harming their children; all in an attempt to motivate and make them comply. But you are tired of the battles and negative cycles that happen over and over. Deep down you sense there must be a better way. As Marshall Goldsmith says "I've learned how one tweak in the environment changes everything." Self-Motivated kids will show you how to make the tweaks in your home environment so your children listen and cooperate, all on their own. This book answers questions -Where does internal motivation come from? -What 3 psychological needs fuel self-motivation? -How can I meet these needs in my children so they listen and respond? -How can I create a home environment where my children have the energy for action? Chock-full of practical tips and solutions you can apply in your home today. Self-Motivated Kids combines action-based exercises, and real-world research from the author's personal experience as a mother and family life educator. Self-Motivated Kids will challenge you to think critically about parenting tactics that have passed on through the ages and dare greatly as you deliberately try a new approach to parenting. You can think of the book as your personal parenting guide you can refer to for honest and straightforward advice as you transform your home environment and enjoy parenting. In four parts Self-Motivated Kids will help you create an environment where your children listen and -Part One, Motivation, helps you understand what motivation is, where it comes from, and unhealthy behaviors to avoid. -Part Two, Creating the Environment, walks you through the three psychological needs of connection, choice, and competence that fuel internal motivation in your children. -Part Three, The Magic Formula, focuses on how to communicate with your children so they can willingly cooperate with you. -Part Four, Where to Start?, is an actionable plan to implement what is taught so you can see positive results and behavior change today. What are people saying about Self-Motivated Kids? “A smart, practical book for moms and dads who care about their kids’ intrinsic motivation.” - Daniel H. Pink, New York Times Bestselling author of DRIVE and A WHOLE NEW MIND "This book is a MUST READ! As an educator, I cannot count the number of times I have heard parents say, 'If only my son/daughter came with a handbook!' Simmons uses her experience as a family life educator and mom to create 'the handbook.'" -Stacey Sly, author of Trauma in the Classroom "Every parent struggles to help their children become more self-motivated. Simmons shares some crucial concepts and great implementation tips to help parents do just that. Wish I had this with my kids but glad I have it for my grandkids! This is very clear, do-able, and inspiring! The 3 Cs are life changing!" -Merilee Boyack, author of The Parenting Breakthrough

Genres: Parenting

113 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 26, 2016

Reviews

[Hugo's Mom · Rating 1 out of 5]

I felt like this was only half of a book. Although I did like Mrs. Simmons tone and writing pace, she only offers platitudes and high-level suggestions that can be found in just about any other parenting book on earth. There is nothing unique here and this book provides nothing to assist a parent when these suggestions don't work out in the textbook method. Simply speaking quietly to a child, looking them in the eye, and telling them why they need to do something doesn't always overcome an obstinate or impassioned child, and this book in no way acknowledges that fact. If things were that simple, most parents wouldn't be resorting to parenting books (or yelling) in the first place. It comes across as overly simplistic and at times, patronizing towards the child.

Unless this is the first parenting book you've ever picked up, pass it up for something else that takes these principles on to a deeper level as far as application and practicality in real-world situations. The suggestions you'll find here can be read on any parenting blog for free.

[Jill Schilb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this quick read! I read it in 2 hours! I needed a refresher on how to stop the cycle of insanity and disobedience in our house. I needed to be reminded that behavioral change starts with how I approach my children. This book doesn't address the "heart" issues of our kids or how to handle outright rebellion, but it does give great advice on how to avoid the constant head to head battles. Already I have seen more cooperation in my household and less arguing!

[Ron Peo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply inspiring

As a veteran teacher, I recognized the strategies outlined in the book as best practices.
Damara spares the reader all the jargon and provides simple strategies and questions to help develop a positive and productive environment for any family.

[Steve Washenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed me and my parenting!

This changed my approach to my kids and gave me practical tools to use to really connect and reach my children.

[Sagy Mizhiritsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good advice, practical

The book is very practical and good advice. I implemented it right away and saw results. I would recommend this book for struggling parent.

[Emily Norris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read!

This book was easy to read. It was short and to the point. I found it to be helpful. Good read!

[Jeannette Watt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This non-fiction read was a good reminder of some of the knowledge I already had, and also some new techniques which I have successfully put to use. I recommend this book for any parent who is having trouble getting their child to accomplish a daily routine, and some behavior issues as well.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a 'prime free' book that I noticed and wanted to check out. I was just going to look over a few of the chapter headings and skim, but I really liked the way it was laid out, how simple it was, and what I was reading so before I knew it, I had read it. Who needs sleep, right? It was a good reminder of things that I know, but have not been doing. A couple new concepts for WHY to go about things a different way and WHY to not lecture were also instructive. This is simple enough to recall on the spot and yet helpful enough to return to when challenges are on the rise. Like it.

[Anne Wingler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read, not too wordy. Chapters are arranged so it's easy to refer back. Thought questions at the end of the chapters make it easy to apply to your own situations, no matter your child's age. Maybe the best parenting book I've read.

[Stacey Jonack Lefler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read

This book had great ideas to try. I listened to this book as I drove and as I worked at my desk.