Father Figures: Three Wise Men Who Changed a Life

by Kevin J. Sweeney

The remarkable account of a boy's secret plan to find and emulate three men, a trio of hand-picked father figures, after his own father dies. Kevin Sweeney was three years old when his father died, and only vaguely aware of his family's circumstances. His mother, thirty-four and nearly penniless, would not speak of the loss to her six children, and they, mindful of her fragility, hid their grief. But five years later, Sweeney quietly selected three men from his community to be his role models. Seized by the notion that he would be a father one day, he carefully planned his education. None of Sweeney's father figures knew of their surrogacy, even though Sweeney was often on the periphery of their lives. He basked in the attention they occasionally lavished on him at parties or basketball games. Haunted by his own anger, guilt, jealousy, and sadness, Sweeney found relief and inspiration in the men, and in the tight-knit suburb where his family lived. He enjoyed long days of exhilarating normalcy -- learning to hit curveballs, roving on Sting-Ray bikes, and concocting explosives with neighborhood compatriots. Kevin Sweeney's memoir recalls a childhood of private longing in a community of almost otherworldly simplicity, a place where every neighborhood girl received a curbside ovation on her way to the prom. It is the story of a boy and the three men he wanted to be like when he grew up, men who would pull him, a son at last, to the safety of young adulthood. And it is a story of resiliency, with lessons for all of us about the needs of children, the gift of community, and the nature of fatherhood.

208 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2003

Reviews

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing style made the book enjoyable. What would you do if you lost your father at a young age? The story will make you cry, but at times I caught myself laughing. The book is worth the tine to read it.

[Gloria · Rating 4 out of 5]

My sister recommended that I read this book; her mailwoman's brother wrote it. And so, I read it.

And I found it quite moving; made me marvel at the times gone by (Sweeney does a good job describing a neighborhood and network of friends and families that I think is sorely missed; something similar to what my husband experienced growing up in a small town in upstate New York). And I marvel at why some people go forth and find those things they need, while other don't. Sweeney is clearly a remarkable person.

[Caleb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad and hilarious and a very realistic description of how - in the face of nothingness - sons choose fathers for themselves. I found all the stuff about what feelings we allow ourselves to recognize and experience totally matching my own experience. Great vignettes of baseball and hijinks and running on the top of neighbor's fences (not the ones with nails sticking out of them) during silly street battles.