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The Other Woman in Your Marriage: Understanding a Mother's Impact on Her Son & How It Affects His Marriage
There are two women in every man's marriage.One of the most powerful relationships experienced by a man is with his mother. She was the first to nurture him, love him and comfort him at his entrance into this world. And her influence continues into adulthood-—shaping his decisions, his career and his family relationships.It should be no surprise that such a powerful bond can put pressure on a marriage. In The Other Woman in Your Marriage, Norm Wright investigates the mother-son relationship and sheds light on its value—-as well as on the problems that can occur.The Other Woman in Your Marriage is an excellent resource for mothers, sons, daughters-in-law or counselors. This book will help couples learn practical ways to establish healthy boundaries with relatives and in-laws. It will also help mothers lay the groundwork to help their sons grow to become healthy men, husbands and fathers. Read it and make peace with "the other woman."
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1994
About the author
H. Norman Wright
281 books71 followersH. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
August 7, 2025
Been a mother in law for a handful of years plus the time my son and beautiful DIL dated have taken time to not just know her but show interest in things she enjoys to create connections and things to chat about. It does not hurt that she came prepackaged with interests that connected to things I am good at, like wood working and other tool related projects.
To sum up how impactful this book was on being a solid MIL wanna reflect on a funny story. My son and me enjoy long chats.
This one time while he was sharing about their experiences preparing to relocate he says I’m on a leader board. My beautiful DIL (I’ve called her this since they married because being an encourager of her beauty inside and out is important, imo) asked my son, “how is your mom the calmest one of everyone?”
First, I’m like there’s a board? Second, joked about ways I might have gotten to the top spot. He says, don’t get prideful because you could lose your spot. We laughed.
The other family members were having moments that were not working for my son and DIL over their grown up choices. Except from me. This has not changed. I am consistent in my approach. MYOB. Do not clap back when someone behaves poorly. Speak with kind voice regardless of the conversation. Etc.
This book was a starting point, for me. So far it works and combined with some other tips I have learned about being a mom of grown people say if you have children or think you may practicing adulting the changes that emerge as the littles mature into adults is worth its weight in practice.
The main thing, for me, is keeping my tone consistent and it is their life. I am a guest. And vice versa. My son thanked me while in college for not being a helicopter parent with examples of why he felt this way. And, he knows to adult with me being clear is important, to me.
No freak outs. Calm chats. Respect each other’s wants and needs.
An important thing I am sure the book did not teach me, but is important to maintaining a healthy connection. Not everything I think needs to be said. What is most important is we maintain a healthy in person and phone dialogue relationship. How they choose to live is their choice.
I have earned the right to share wisdom. But it is their choice to try it. They often reflect what I share is helpful or they counter with a recommendation. We are a very give and take sharing is caring crew.
Anyway, thought since a few people liked the review and it was only about the preview of becoming a MIL thought sharing how it is going would be fun, in an update.
If you wanna have children or do it is never too soon to begin the process of becoming a MIL. Or FIL. Upon reading so many stories of horrible familial relationships and having suffered through one did not want to be like other people.
Practice makes the process of becoming easier, imo. Including my son in the process by asking if he had expectations of me gave me a chance to hold space and converse with him. And, being malleable to changes is important, too.
Though I do my best when I know what the rules are of any scenario in life, have learned children will change when they leave home. When they begin falling in love. When they have a full time partner.
We have no choice as in-laws not to become outlaws. Unless we wanna be ghosted and quandary with partial or full fault.
In the whole scheme of things, am glad I began early in my son’s life to think about this one thing. He told me thinking about how to be a spouse someday through practice as a person who is fiscally responsible, healthy inside and out, etc. all began when he was small and though life is never perfect seeing the outcome of the practice with the happy couple brings me joy.
Even through some challenges outside their control this team has grown stronger. My hope is as a MIL my contribution to their life helps the bond grow knowing they can count on me to be a consistent kind support system.
/\ update
Bought this when it first published. Recently purchased a second copy.
My son was a little boy of two (1994). My goal was gleaning ideas as a mother in law for when he grew up and married.
Welp, 25 years later I’m becoming a mother in law. Still have my original copy. Am putting together a box of photos, books, memories of the journey my son and me traveled in preparation to finally meet the answer to our prayers.
Was very glad to find a copy to give my son’s fiancé. Her knowing how much I’ve thought of her and my desire to be a thoughtful kind mother in law in training all these years adds to the fun we are having reflecting on the journey.
One of my favorite memories is captured in a photo of my son with Eric and Lesley Ludy at eight. We attended their conference “When God Write’s Your Love Story”. The story is about these two now authors preparing for marriage. One of my favorite stories is Eric being out with friends eating french fries. Has a suddenly moment thinking ‘my wife is alive’ and wonderment on how he’ll meet her.
He wrote love letters to her moving forward. When he met then married Leslie read the love letters he had written for her while he was preparing.
One of the other reviewers obviously didn’t find out about the book prior to purchase on Amazon or they would not have complained.
This book isn’t for everyone. It’s got lots of wonderful examples for woman raising sons and eventually becoming a mother in law.
Raising a happy man to be a husband is a life long journey. Preparing to be the woman who will be a mother in law and grandmother also require practice over time, from my view. I never assume I’ll be good at anything without practice. Especially MIL.
I’m not one to wait until the wedding. Hearing all the messy family stories and being treated poorly myself led me to not be one of ‘those’ people.
My son and his fiancé have a well adjusted making it through tough time relationship. They’re focused on the relationship primarily. To me, continuing to support him and his bride is important.
Practicing over time, this book added to the bigger picture.
If someone enjoys scripture and has a basic background in practicing Gods word there isn’t a need for listing a lot of verses as has been suggested. You’d already know what they are or how to find them easily.
For a functional look at human love and family dynamic through a faith lens would recommends this “timeless” read.
Use what works. Keep in mind what doesn’t. You never know when it might be needed
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💯😁❤️
To sum up how impactful this book was on being a solid MIL wanna reflect on a funny story. My son and me enjoy long chats.
This one time while he was sharing about their experiences preparing to relocate he says I’m on a leader board. My beautiful DIL (I’ve called her this since they married because being an encourager of her beauty inside and out is important, imo) asked my son, “how is your mom the calmest one of everyone?”
First, I’m like there’s a board? Second, joked about ways I might have gotten to the top spot. He says, don’t get prideful because you could lose your spot. We laughed.
The other family members were having moments that were not working for my son and DIL over their grown up choices. Except from me. This has not changed. I am consistent in my approach. MYOB. Do not clap back when someone behaves poorly. Speak with kind voice regardless of the conversation. Etc.
This book was a starting point, for me. So far it works and combined with some other tips I have learned about being a mom of grown people say if you have children or think you may practicing adulting the changes that emerge as the littles mature into adults is worth its weight in practice.
The main thing, for me, is keeping my tone consistent and it is their life. I am a guest. And vice versa. My son thanked me while in college for not being a helicopter parent with examples of why he felt this way. And, he knows to adult with me being clear is important, to me.
No freak outs. Calm chats. Respect each other’s wants and needs.
An important thing I am sure the book did not teach me, but is important to maintaining a healthy connection. Not everything I think needs to be said. What is most important is we maintain a healthy in person and phone dialogue relationship. How they choose to live is their choice.
I have earned the right to share wisdom. But it is their choice to try it. They often reflect what I share is helpful or they counter with a recommendation. We are a very give and take sharing is caring crew.
Anyway, thought since a few people liked the review and it was only about the preview of becoming a MIL thought sharing how it is going would be fun, in an update.
If you wanna have children or do it is never too soon to begin the process of becoming a MIL. Or FIL. Upon reading so many stories of horrible familial relationships and having suffered through one did not want to be like other people.
Practice makes the process of becoming easier, imo. Including my son in the process by asking if he had expectations of me gave me a chance to hold space and converse with him. And, being malleable to changes is important, too.
Though I do my best when I know what the rules are of any scenario in life, have learned children will change when they leave home. When they begin falling in love. When they have a full time partner.
We have no choice as in-laws not to become outlaws. Unless we wanna be ghosted and quandary with partial or full fault.
In the whole scheme of things, am glad I began early in my son’s life to think about this one thing. He told me thinking about how to be a spouse someday through practice as a person who is fiscally responsible, healthy inside and out, etc. all began when he was small and though life is never perfect seeing the outcome of the practice with the happy couple brings me joy.
Even through some challenges outside their control this team has grown stronger. My hope is as a MIL my contribution to their life helps the bond grow knowing they can count on me to be a consistent kind support system.
/\ update
Bought this when it first published. Recently purchased a second copy.
My son was a little boy of two (1994). My goal was gleaning ideas as a mother in law for when he grew up and married.
Welp, 25 years later I’m becoming a mother in law. Still have my original copy. Am putting together a box of photos, books, memories of the journey my son and me traveled in preparation to finally meet the answer to our prayers.
Was very glad to find a copy to give my son’s fiancé. Her knowing how much I’ve thought of her and my desire to be a thoughtful kind mother in law in training all these years adds to the fun we are having reflecting on the journey.
One of my favorite memories is captured in a photo of my son with Eric and Lesley Ludy at eight. We attended their conference “When God Write’s Your Love Story”. The story is about these two now authors preparing for marriage. One of my favorite stories is Eric being out with friends eating french fries. Has a suddenly moment thinking ‘my wife is alive’ and wonderment on how he’ll meet her.
He wrote love letters to her moving forward. When he met then married Leslie read the love letters he had written for her while he was preparing.
One of the other reviewers obviously didn’t find out about the book prior to purchase on Amazon or they would not have complained.
This book isn’t for everyone. It’s got lots of wonderful examples for woman raising sons and eventually becoming a mother in law.
Raising a happy man to be a husband is a life long journey. Preparing to be the woman who will be a mother in law and grandmother also require practice over time, from my view. I never assume I’ll be good at anything without practice. Especially MIL.
I’m not one to wait until the wedding. Hearing all the messy family stories and being treated poorly myself led me to not be one of ‘those’ people.
My son and his fiancé have a well adjusted making it through tough time relationship. They’re focused on the relationship primarily. To me, continuing to support him and his bride is important.
Practicing over time, this book added to the bigger picture.
If someone enjoys scripture and has a basic background in practicing Gods word there isn’t a need for listing a lot of verses as has been suggested. You’d already know what they are or how to find them easily.
For a functional look at human love and family dynamic through a faith lens would recommends this “timeless” read.
Use what works. Keep in mind what doesn’t. You never know when it might be needed
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 💯😁❤️
Displaying 1 of 1 review