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The Alcoholic Husband Primer: Survival Tips For The Alcoholic's Wife
Alcoholism has been called a "family disease" and yet the family, in particular the wife, of the alcoholic seems to go unseen by the addiction and recovery communities. And what support, advice and programs there are for the women married to alcoholics tend to be alcoholic-centric. "The Alcoholic Husband Primer" is advice for the wives of alcoholics based on their needs - not the needs of the alcoholic. It doesn't label women as "co-dependent." It doesn't accuse them of being "enablers." It's real, practical, everyday advice for the wives of alcoholics...written by the wife of an alcoholic.
94 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 15, 2016
110 people are currently reading
46 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
March 23, 2025
Take back your life
If you are married to an alcoholic this book will give you tools to take back your life. It will inspire you to change your mindset, love yourself, practice feeling good emotions, get back in touch with what makes you YOU. It isn't your alcoholic husband! I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 26 years, and it took me a long time and a lot of reading to start living MY life again while staying in the marriage. Read this book, follow the author's advice🙂.
If you are married to an alcoholic this book will give you tools to take back your life. It will inspire you to change your mindset, love yourself, practice feeling good emotions, get back in touch with what makes you YOU. It isn't your alcoholic husband! I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 26 years, and it took me a long time and a lot of reading to start living MY life again while staying in the marriage. Read this book, follow the author's advice🙂.
October 13, 2024
Somehow I never read a book directed to wife's of addicts and this one got me curious. Well, it is really not what I was expecting it to be. I kind of thought it will be more about how to live and interact with them. Like who knows maybe some woman tried something for one of the issues we face and it worked!
Instead this book seems to be an anger outlet of a woman who dealt with an abusive drunk (a very justified anger) for two decades, needs to let it out and presents her opinions as facts and self help advise. And I see it has a lot of 5 and 4 stars reviews. This is because they had a similar experience, because their husband was an abusive assholes and they are happy to feel not being alone with this experience and being understood. I am sure this book might be helpful and valuable to them to at least have this feeling.
But for the rest of alcoholic wives who are not being yelled at, insulted and are even getting attention one wants from their husband it is useless. And I wouldn't mind if it would not pose as a self help for all of but just shown as her experience then it wouldn't be a one star book.
She is right with things that alcoholism is a disease and one shouldn't expect him to quit unless they are ready and get help. And that they lie a lot. Both to you and to themselves. But then she is completely wrong with let's say that they all are alike and will end up like hers. No, they won't. They all share the basics of alcoholics but they still have their personalities. Which still bring their problems. They may not be abusive but you will still have to deal with other issues. Such as them losing every job they find IF they even find, drink away all your savings, keep getting arrested because of DUI or drunk fights they have in public, look straight into your face and tell you that that whiskey bottle in their bag isn't theirs and they have no idea how it got there etc.
I also really don't need a book to tell me to leave because I don't have kids and could live on my own. I already have my family and friends doing it for years. Maybe her and the ones who agree with this book will tell me that I am in denial. Whatever. I feel like the man he described wouldn't be possible to live with whether he drank or not. Anyways I just don't agree that one should never have any hope. Alcoholics do indeed quit. One should just be reasonable and understanding that the chance isn't that big and ask yourself how much you are willing to take.
Instead this book seems to be an anger outlet of a woman who dealt with an abusive drunk (a very justified anger) for two decades, needs to let it out and presents her opinions as facts and self help advise. And I see it has a lot of 5 and 4 stars reviews. This is because they had a similar experience, because their husband was an abusive assholes and they are happy to feel not being alone with this experience and being understood. I am sure this book might be helpful and valuable to them to at least have this feeling.
But for the rest of alcoholic wives who are not being yelled at, insulted and are even getting attention one wants from their husband it is useless. And I wouldn't mind if it would not pose as a self help for all of but just shown as her experience then it wouldn't be a one star book.
She is right with things that alcoholism is a disease and one shouldn't expect him to quit unless they are ready and get help. And that they lie a lot. Both to you and to themselves. But then she is completely wrong with let's say that they all are alike and will end up like hers. No, they won't. They all share the basics of alcoholics but they still have their personalities. Which still bring their problems. They may not be abusive but you will still have to deal with other issues. Such as them losing every job they find IF they even find, drink away all your savings, keep getting arrested because of DUI or drunk fights they have in public, look straight into your face and tell you that that whiskey bottle in their bag isn't theirs and they have no idea how it got there etc.
I also really don't need a book to tell me to leave because I don't have kids and could live on my own. I already have my family and friends doing it for years. Maybe her and the ones who agree with this book will tell me that I am in denial. Whatever. I feel like the man he described wouldn't be possible to live with whether he drank or not. Anyways I just don't agree that one should never have any hope. Alcoholics do indeed quit. One should just be reasonable and understanding that the chance isn't that big and ask yourself how much you are willing to take.
October 2, 2022
extraordinary! I wish I had the words to recommend this book to EVERYONE
This book is GREAT in many senses. I just got out of a relationship w/an alcoholic, and this book has inspired me further and confirmed that I shouldn’t look back. It is written very earnestly, straightforwardly, and candidly, it is full of sharp reflections, and pours out wisdom. I think everyone (not only those in a relationship w/an alcoholic or toxic person) can benefit from reading this book; you’ll feel empowered, in control and enthusiastic about creating your own future life. Wren: bravo and thank you a thousand times! (I’ve read over a dozen books on alcoholism and codependence and I truly think this book is the best).
This book is GREAT in many senses. I just got out of a relationship w/an alcoholic, and this book has inspired me further and confirmed that I shouldn’t look back. It is written very earnestly, straightforwardly, and candidly, it is full of sharp reflections, and pours out wisdom. I think everyone (not only those in a relationship w/an alcoholic or toxic person) can benefit from reading this book; you’ll feel empowered, in control and enthusiastic about creating your own future life. Wren: bravo and thank you a thousand times! (I’ve read over a dozen books on alcoholism and codependence and I truly think this book is the best).
June 13, 2023
Refreshing
I have been married to an alcoholic for almost 20 years. I’ve read many different books and there were some key points that I really appreciated. I don’t consider myself codependent and I appreciated the authors point of view. Also the loving with detachment. I’ve never been able to figure that one out. How can you detach and still be in a relationship?? This book made me feel less alone. Like there are people who understand what I’m going through.
I have been married to an alcoholic for almost 20 years. I’ve read many different books and there were some key points that I really appreciated. I don’t consider myself codependent and I appreciated the authors point of view. Also the loving with detachment. I’ve never been able to figure that one out. How can you detach and still be in a relationship?? This book made me feel less alone. Like there are people who understand what I’m going through.
November 8, 2023
raw, real, and spot the fk on. i’m hurt.
July 11, 2024
loved it!
Really honest and practical.
Like a conversation with a good friend
Well worth a read for anyone who wants to understand more.
Really honest and practical.
Like a conversation with a good friend
Well worth a read for anyone who wants to understand more.
September 5, 2024
Reading this book, I had never felt so heard and understood. However, this book is written with an undertone of anger and resentment that bothers me. I'm not saying that I haven't been there emotionally or that I don't revisit from time to time, but books are paused in time, they don't change or grow with your development. They are timestamped. There were too many blanket statements and deep seeded resentment to make this a book about personal growth.
I hope that as the next person who reads this book is able to separate their emotions from hers. I hope that you glean bits and pieces and don't ascribe the attributes of one alcoholic to the next. This book will not help you understand the mind of the alcoholic, but it will make you feel less alone in the suffering you may or may not be experiencing.
I hope that as the next person who reads this book is able to separate their emotions from hers. I hope that you glean bits and pieces and don't ascribe the attributes of one alcoholic to the next. This book will not help you understand the mind of the alcoholic, but it will make you feel less alone in the suffering you may or may not be experiencing.
October 16, 2025
eye opening
This book was like a punch to the gut in the most positive way. It began my journey of learning. Before reading this, I second guessed everything, thought I was blowing things out of proportion with my husband. This book brought me clarity in ways I didn’t expect and maybe didn’t want, but definitely needed. I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with an alcoholic spouse or anyone who is concerned that they are, but aren’t quite sure (like I was).
This book was like a punch to the gut in the most positive way. It began my journey of learning. Before reading this, I second guessed everything, thought I was blowing things out of proportion with my husband. This book brought me clarity in ways I didn’t expect and maybe didn’t want, but definitely needed. I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with an alcoholic spouse or anyone who is concerned that they are, but aren’t quite sure (like I was).
August 6, 2019
I couldn't put the book down. I read the entire thing all at once. I truly felt like she was writing my life story. Sort-of comforting to know that I'm not alone, but sad to admit to myself that this is all hopeless. I'm keeping the book current on my kindle so I can refer to it over & over.. to remind myself it's not my fault. Thank you for writing this book.
August 17, 2025
A must read for an alcoholics wife!
This was such a new and on the spot read for me. A New perspective in print that truly was a feeling I had held but thought was selfish or unfair!
Thank you Wren for your very realistic telling of this crazy life we live! Your insights and suggestions have been embraced.
This was such a new and on the spot read for me. A New perspective in print that truly was a feeling I had held but thought was selfish or unfair!
Thank you Wren for your very realistic telling of this crazy life we live! Your insights and suggestions have been embraced.
November 6, 2018
This is my life.
If you are living with an alcoholic, read this. My life without the name calling.
Only someone who is living this could write so accurately what it's like,how it feels and how t survive.
Thank you
If you are living with an alcoholic, read this. My life without the name calling.
Only someone who is living this could write so accurately what it's like,how it feels and how t survive.
Thank you
May 14, 2019
Expectation
And the less we expect, the more we expect of the little we do expect. (If you understand that perfectly, you’re definitely married to an alcoholic.) Again, the less we expect, the more we expect of the little we do expect.
And the less we expect, the more we expect of the little we do expect. (If you understand that perfectly, you’re definitely married to an alcoholic.) Again, the less we expect, the more we expect of the little we do expect.
May 26, 2021
So honest
For me it was the best book I've read on the subject. I felt heard and known just by reading it, in a strange way it gave me peace and relief. I could relate completely to her story and I truly appreciated her opinions and advice
For me it was the best book I've read on the subject. I felt heard and known just by reading it, in a strange way it gave me peace and relief. I could relate completely to her story and I truly appreciated her opinions and advice
November 29, 2025
Wow
Glad I found this book, think it was a God-send for me. I felt as if the author was telling my story 😪 All of us who are either married or living with an alcoholic...it definitely is not an easy task. I knowwwww, My heart is with you all!
Glad I found this book, think it was a God-send for me. I felt as if the author was telling my story 😪 All of us who are either married or living with an alcoholic...it definitely is not an easy task. I knowwwww, My heart is with you all!
September 12, 2018
All truth
As a wife of an alcoholic, I have never read anything so accurate. Thanks for helping us to not feel so alone.
As a wife of an alcoholic, I have never read anything so accurate. Thanks for helping us to not feel so alone.
July 7, 2019
Amazing
When I read this book, so many times I was hit in the gut with the realization of my life. Put a lot into perspective for me.
When I read this book, so many times I was hit in the gut with the realization of my life. Put a lot into perspective for me.
March 3, 2020
Wow...it was like reading about my life.
This book helped me to better understand alcoholism and the complete devastation it brings to a family. Such a sad life for all.
This book helped me to better understand alcoholism and the complete devastation it brings to a family. Such a sad life for all.
June 17, 2020
Encouragement
?the author spoke to me personally. I was able to relate with her advice!Thanks for so adequately explaining a most difficult life.
?the author spoke to me personally. I was able to relate with her advice!Thanks for so adequately explaining a most difficult life.
July 24, 2020
Couldn't look away
So sad that anyone would ever know this pain how to survive who loves us the most true the wolf that wins is the on that is fed
So sad that anyone would ever know this pain how to survive who loves us the most true the wolf that wins is the on that is fed
July 9, 2025
needs proofread
This would’ve been more believable if the typos would’ve been corrected before publishing. 😳 Decent info, heard it all before, though.
This would’ve been more believable if the typos would’ve been corrected before publishing. 😳 Decent info, heard it all before, though.
May 5, 2017
I felt the author was speaking to me directly
Everyone who is involved with an alcoholic needs to read this book. It is written for you. Every word written is something that you have experienced, will experience or is living it.
Everyone who is involved with an alcoholic needs to read this book. It is written for you. Every word written is something that you have experienced, will experience or is living it.
April 27, 2017
Wow! Honest truth
This book is brutally, refreshingly, honest. Dispair and hope in one quick read. Thank you to the author. This is my story. I will conquer the Beast!
This book is brutally, refreshingly, honest. Dispair and hope in one quick read. Thank you to the author. This is my story. I will conquer the Beast!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews