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The Best-Kept Secret: Men and Women's Stories of Enduring Love
Expert couples therapist Reibstein presents the best-kept secrets of successful relationships as told by the men and women who have made theirs work.
We've all seen the divorce is on the rise. But behind the familiar stories of fractured partnerships are other more hopeful kinds of those of the couples who stay together. How such couples achieve their happiness has remained their secret―until now.
Janet Reibstein, an internationally known psychologist with an emphasis on couples, has talked in depth to more than 200 couples whose partnerships are happy and enduring. Here she flings open the curtains covering private both partners, in couples married and unmarried, gay and straight, talk candidly and profoundly about their lives together. They tell hidden tales of what's worked, what hasn't; what problems crop up, how they've overcome them; the importance or not of commitment, monogamy, sex, romance, pleasure, perspective, autonomy and independence, and of children (both joint and from previous relationships), friends, relatives, ex-partners, and in-laws. Through the nitty-gritty of real life emerge simple rules for how to conduct relationships to maximize our potential for happiness.
Reibstein's subjects tell their secrets, large and small, in their own words; the author filters these stories through the eyes of a relationship expert. Drawing on years of real-life experience and a therapists's wisdom, this book convinces that life-long love is a real, achievable possibility.
We've all seen the divorce is on the rise. But behind the familiar stories of fractured partnerships are other more hopeful kinds of those of the couples who stay together. How such couples achieve their happiness has remained their secret―until now.
Janet Reibstein, an internationally known psychologist with an emphasis on couples, has talked in depth to more than 200 couples whose partnerships are happy and enduring. Here she flings open the curtains covering private both partners, in couples married and unmarried, gay and straight, talk candidly and profoundly about their lives together. They tell hidden tales of what's worked, what hasn't; what problems crop up, how they've overcome them; the importance or not of commitment, monogamy, sex, romance, pleasure, perspective, autonomy and independence, and of children (both joint and from previous relationships), friends, relatives, ex-partners, and in-laws. Through the nitty-gritty of real life emerge simple rules for how to conduct relationships to maximize our potential for happiness.
Reibstein's subjects tell their secrets, large and small, in their own words; the author filters these stories through the eyes of a relationship expert. Drawing on years of real-life experience and a therapists's wisdom, this book convinces that life-long love is a real, achievable possibility.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
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July 1, 2021
I became aware of this book from browsing my library's catalog. Love, love, love... I want it in songs. I want it in books. I want it in my ice cream sundae with hot chocolate fudge and roasted peanuts. These couples were linked by love, friendship, forbearance, joy, resilience, and a fascination with each other. Many of the interviewees reported fluctuation and/or reduction in sexual activity but everyone claimed the warmth and tenderness made it even better. I honor that progression. If you live wisely and joyously, life often does get better.
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