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Panoti In Blunderland
A loser larger than life.
A life full of blunders.
A dream bigger than his aukaat.
A friend faster than excuses.
And an enemy deadlier than death.
An underdog. And a Dog-Almighty. The twisted tale of The Dog Duo out on Amazon. Fetch now!
Sample Chapters &
(1)
PATHETIC
Pink City, the venue of State Management Admission Test (SMAT) 2007. I was sitting in the hall, waiting for the counselling to start, biting my nails and listening to the rain drumming against the window.
Hellomic check mic check. The loudspeaker came to sputtering life. The crowd hushed. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for what I knew would be my biggest moment of public humiliation, just a few more seconds away. When you cant keep something bad from happening to you, all you can hope for is that it will be over quickly. I fervently wished I could time-travel between now and the aftermath, this embarrassing patch of time just a blur in between.
I fidgeted. The count-down had begun in my head. The loudspeaker hummed, followed by the soft tapping of a finger, the clearing of a dry, aged throat, one hurried sniffle and two unnecessary, self-conscious coughs. Silence then, broken by the flipping of papers. Finally, a womans harsh voice cut into the mechanical humming of the microphone.
Paneer..cha..nd..o..kaat..mal ..Tikka! She spoke the name in small instalments of insult, like a kindergarten kid trying to pronounce a botanical name. The amazement in her voice had turned to amusement as she finished speaking. After a pause, there was a cough of uncontained laughter over the microphone. I wasnt surprised. This was the standard reaction to my name.
Paneerchand Okaatmal Tikka, first rank. She had finally managed to hold back her chuckle, but clear traces of amusement still lingered in her voice. The crowd was laughing, looking around curiously for the bearer of this ridiculous name.
A thread of nail on my index finger was slipping out of the grip of my front teeth in spite of all my attempts to pluck it. Those who enjoy biting their nails would understand what this meant. I continued to struggle with it as though the name did not belong to me. I planned to stand up when it was safe, when people wouldnt suspect that the name referred to me.
Paneerchand Okaatmal Tikka! The voice roared with authority and I stood up in reflex. I found myself passing through a sea of accusing eyes and disgusted faces. Again, thats the customary reaction. Mine is the typical fishy face that comes to mind when you hear something like Inform security staff about any suspicious persons or the creepy face of an unclaimed dead body you might see in the newspaper. Mass attention does that to me. It makes me feel like Im a dead body carrying a live bomb inside my shirt.
Topper nerd! Look at him! Looks like studies are the only thing he does! Someone whispered close by, a loud whisper which is nearly impossible to pretend you did not hear.
Anyway, the whisperer was wrong. For the record, I went to the loo every day, brushed my teeth, ate meals and took a bath as well. I watched Chitrahaar on Wednesdays and Bollywood movies on Fridays on Doordarshan on the old scratchy TV owned by my landlord. I also listened to Hit-list, the daily countdown of Bollywood songs on my portable FM radio, the one I had bought the previous year. I hummed the songs later and even sang them aloud sometimes in the middle of the night when no one was around. Sometimes, on romantic moonlit nights, I imagined myself inside those songs, with a fantasy girl I called Cine-derella.
I called my preoccupations woolgathering. Long Ago, farmers would employ a wool-gatherer to collect the chunks of wool left in the bushes by grazing sheep. The job didnt involve much skill or concentration and left a great deal of time for the wool-gatherer to indulge in wild fancies. That was why I loved the word. It sounded more important than day dreaming and less impossible than fantasizing. On a cold winter night, it felt warm, and on a long tiring day, it seemed like a full-time occupation.
It may seem stupid to indulge in such childish fancies but it was a necessity for me, a cheat-code to survive. Over a period of time I had knitted together a beautiful tapestry of lies, just a wink away from bitter truths. It had begun as an escape from the ugly reality, but soon burying my head in fairy sand had become my way of life.
My now deceased Dadi was the one who had introduced me to fantasies. She was an architect of air castles. Living up to her name, Baya, she would weave shapely fairy tales like her namesake bird does its nest. She used to tell them with such conviction that they sounded like anecdotes and biographies of real people she had known. The best part about her stories was the ending. Shed sanitized them for my young mind. No lives were lost. The witches, monsters and dragons didnt die at the end. There was always a change of heart. Everyone, i...
A life full of blunders.
A dream bigger than his aukaat.
A friend faster than excuses.
And an enemy deadlier than death.
An underdog. And a Dog-Almighty. The twisted tale of The Dog Duo out on Amazon. Fetch now!
Sample Chapters &
(1)
PATHETIC
Pink City, the venue of State Management Admission Test (SMAT) 2007. I was sitting in the hall, waiting for the counselling to start, biting my nails and listening to the rain drumming against the window.
Hellomic check mic check. The loudspeaker came to sputtering life. The crowd hushed. I took a deep breath to prepare myself for what I knew would be my biggest moment of public humiliation, just a few more seconds away. When you cant keep something bad from happening to you, all you can hope for is that it will be over quickly. I fervently wished I could time-travel between now and the aftermath, this embarrassing patch of time just a blur in between.
I fidgeted. The count-down had begun in my head. The loudspeaker hummed, followed by the soft tapping of a finger, the clearing of a dry, aged throat, one hurried sniffle and two unnecessary, self-conscious coughs. Silence then, broken by the flipping of papers. Finally, a womans harsh voice cut into the mechanical humming of the microphone.
Paneer..cha..nd..o..kaat..mal ..Tikka! She spoke the name in small instalments of insult, like a kindergarten kid trying to pronounce a botanical name. The amazement in her voice had turned to amusement as she finished speaking. After a pause, there was a cough of uncontained laughter over the microphone. I wasnt surprised. This was the standard reaction to my name.
Paneerchand Okaatmal Tikka, first rank. She had finally managed to hold back her chuckle, but clear traces of amusement still lingered in her voice. The crowd was laughing, looking around curiously for the bearer of this ridiculous name.
A thread of nail on my index finger was slipping out of the grip of my front teeth in spite of all my attempts to pluck it. Those who enjoy biting their nails would understand what this meant. I continued to struggle with it as though the name did not belong to me. I planned to stand up when it was safe, when people wouldnt suspect that the name referred to me.
Paneerchand Okaatmal Tikka! The voice roared with authority and I stood up in reflex. I found myself passing through a sea of accusing eyes and disgusted faces. Again, thats the customary reaction. Mine is the typical fishy face that comes to mind when you hear something like Inform security staff about any suspicious persons or the creepy face of an unclaimed dead body you might see in the newspaper. Mass attention does that to me. It makes me feel like Im a dead body carrying a live bomb inside my shirt.
Topper nerd! Look at him! Looks like studies are the only thing he does! Someone whispered close by, a loud whisper which is nearly impossible to pretend you did not hear.
Anyway, the whisperer was wrong. For the record, I went to the loo every day, brushed my teeth, ate meals and took a bath as well. I watched Chitrahaar on Wednesdays and Bollywood movies on Fridays on Doordarshan on the old scratchy TV owned by my landlord. I also listened to Hit-list, the daily countdown of Bollywood songs on my portable FM radio, the one I had bought the previous year. I hummed the songs later and even sang them aloud sometimes in the middle of the night when no one was around. Sometimes, on romantic moonlit nights, I imagined myself inside those songs, with a fantasy girl I called Cine-derella.
I called my preoccupations woolgathering. Long Ago, farmers would employ a wool-gatherer to collect the chunks of wool left in the bushes by grazing sheep. The job didnt involve much skill or concentration and left a great deal of time for the wool-gatherer to indulge in wild fancies. That was why I loved the word. It sounded more important than day dreaming and less impossible than fantasizing. On a cold winter night, it felt warm, and on a long tiring day, it seemed like a full-time occupation.
It may seem stupid to indulge in such childish fancies but it was a necessity for me, a cheat-code to survive. Over a period of time I had knitted together a beautiful tapestry of lies, just a wink away from bitter truths. It had begun as an escape from the ugly reality, but soon burying my head in fairy sand had become my way of life.
My now deceased Dadi was the one who had introduced me to fantasies. She was an architect of air castles. Living up to her name, Baya, she would weave shapely fairy tales like her namesake bird does its nest. She used to tell them with such conviction that they sounded like anecdotes and biographies of real people she had known. The best part about her stories was the ending. Shed sanitized them for my young mind. No lives were lost. The witches, monsters and dragons didnt die at the end. There was always a change of heart. Everyone, i...
192 pages, Paperback
Published July 16, 2016
4 people are currently reading
93 people want to read
About the author
Pawan Jangid
1 book14 followersStruggler. Story-weaver. Wool-gatherer. Muggle Lover. Slow Reader. Espalling mestaker. Daughter-doter. Thankyouer. Blah-blaher. Hates travelling by Floo powder and slow internet. These days mostly the middle finger-proof, shameless askhole, asking people to review his book.
So why should you meet (read read) PIBble, despite it seems to have all the necessary symptoms that make it a pukable potboiler- a cheap attention-hungry title, a home-made cover that reeks of slimy carcinogenic plastic and a desi, non-ivy-league, non-NRI, bored overpaid (Ha! last adjective is LoLsome!) barely-literate man of literature.
True! Reading a new writer is like trying a new toothpaste. Though it won't kill you (except sometimes) but it can leave a very bad taste in your mouth. And why to ruin a perfect morning with a desi 'tobacco-wala-gainda-brand-manjan' when market is flooded with angreji manthol toothpastes with good-reviews and positive word of mouth.
Yes its a risk.
So?
Read the sample chapters and excerpts, you will know. After all proof of pudding lies in proof-reading (or whatever it means).
So why should you meet (read read) PIBble, despite it seems to have all the necessary symptoms that make it a pukable potboiler- a cheap attention-hungry title, a home-made cover that reeks of slimy carcinogenic plastic and a desi, non-ivy-league, non-NRI, bored overpaid (Ha! last adjective is LoLsome!) barely-literate man of literature.
True! Reading a new writer is like trying a new toothpaste. Though it won't kill you (except sometimes) but it can leave a very bad taste in your mouth. And why to ruin a perfect morning with a desi 'tobacco-wala-gainda-brand-manjan' when market is flooded with angreji manthol toothpastes with good-reviews and positive word of mouth.
Yes its a risk.
So?
Read the sample chapters and excerpts, you will know. After all proof of pudding lies in proof-reading (or whatever it means).
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
December 7, 2016
A Simple, Breezy but Powerful and Funniest coming of the age read!
I read Panoti In Blunderland yesterday and it took me a whole day to get out of the book, stop laughing, sit in a position that I can type this review so as to not make any spelling mistakes because I'm laughing so much now that it is verylikely to happen!
You read the first line of the book and know that some blunders you are going to see coming towards you. Panoti aka Paneer Okattmal Tikka is certainly to make you laugh out loud! Specially his hilarious tongue twisters!
Unlike the other "boy meets a girl in a college" books, it was quite a different and entertaining one! Mixed with humor, amusement, weird sentiments, bizarre superstitions and a lot of bollywood drama, it becomes an easy and refreshing fairy tale! The presentation of a simple tale in the funniest way imaginable is what separates it from the rest of the herd.
Author's capability and awesomeness at using the metaphors so simply will stick you with the story till the end. It wasn't too much or too less, perfectly balanced!
Not at one point in the book he leaves his sense of humor!
When the boy calls the girl, speaking nothing verbally but only in his mind 'Don't you recognize from the silence that it's me? ' I gave up all my arms on this one! It cracked me up so much that later my Mom found me out rolling on the floor laughing, literally!
This is the book I'll give 4 stars to, just because it ended too soon!
Verdict: No Second thoughts, it's a must check out if you want a light read and laugh your heart out.
I dare you to read it with calmness personified in this picture!!
I read Panoti In Blunderland yesterday and it took me a whole day to get out of the book, stop laughing, sit in a position that I can type this review so as to not make any spelling mistakes because I'm laughing so much now that it is verylikely to happen!
You read the first line of the book and know that some blunders you are going to see coming towards you. Panoti aka Paneer Okattmal Tikka is certainly to make you laugh out loud! Specially his hilarious tongue twisters!
Unlike the other "boy meets a girl in a college" books, it was quite a different and entertaining one! Mixed with humor, amusement, weird sentiments, bizarre superstitions and a lot of bollywood drama, it becomes an easy and refreshing fairy tale! The presentation of a simple tale in the funniest way imaginable is what separates it from the rest of the herd.
Author's capability and awesomeness at using the metaphors so simply will stick you with the story till the end. It wasn't too much or too less, perfectly balanced!
Not at one point in the book he leaves his sense of humor!
When the boy calls the girl, speaking nothing verbally but only in his mind 'Don't you recognize from the silence that it's me? ' I gave up all my arms on this one! It cracked me up so much that later my Mom found me out rolling on the floor laughing, literally!
This is the book I'll give 4 stars to, just because it ended too soon!
Verdict: No Second thoughts, it's a must check out if you want a light read and laugh your heart out.
I dare you to read it with calmness personified in this picture!!
September 6, 2016
"Haaaaaaahaaaaaaah. its a laughter marathon"
Ty for the free copy.
Ty for the free copy.
August 30, 2016
this is a fullpackage of everthing a reader wants in a book...the story touching and since i have read it.it has become my favourite book....
there is nthing disliked about it..... :)
there is nthing disliked about it..... :)
Want to read
October 2, 2016can't wait to read and review this one.
August 21, 2016
I had less expectations from this book. However, Panoti in Blunderland has surprised me completely. It is a good and hilarious story. There were a couple of instances when I laughed out loud and my flat mate got spooked. Moreover, I was silently cheering for the protagonist all the time. The book got me hooked on to it. The usage of HE, HIS, HIM was quite suffocating for me. Speaking of literature (as if I am a bloody Ph.D in English), the author has used alliteration, similies and metaphors brilliantly. Only one advice to the author - Keep writing and weaving stories, Pawan.
August 31, 2016
No matter what ever the reviews just I suggest to the people who bring books by simply reading reviews just by this Book and give review by youself it's worth not worthless. I Really love This Story very Much The Way author portrait the characters are awesome I enjoyed a lot Each and Every word, lines and pages
October 25, 2016
Let me thank the author and Goodreads for providing me a free copy of this book.
This is a cool book. And it had soooo many funny instances. We could find traces of Panoti in all of us. The pace of the book lagged around midway but it took up towards the end.
Keep writing Mr.Jangid! Looking forward to your next book!
This is a cool book. And it had soooo many funny instances. We could find traces of Panoti in all of us. The pace of the book lagged around midway but it took up towards the end.
Keep writing Mr.Jangid! Looking forward to your next book!
August 30, 2016
I liked your booked not just because of the story but because the plot you thought to create in readers mind is just so beautiful, that I dnt have words to describe it. No new words, all that we hear in day to day life, wasn't difficult to understand what you were trying to portray....
December 26, 2023
To say that I was surprised by this book would be an understatement because it reached my core and shook me to cause an electrifying earthquake. I received this book many years ago in a Goodreads giveaway and I procrastinate a lot so it just ended up on my bookshelf(I still haven't submitted one of my assignments in college and the professor let me go because I was a regular student otherwise). Anyway, I somehow picked up this book this month because I had failed to qualify for RBI Assistant mains and had some time before the next exam. I checked out the 'About the author' page and found that he worked in IDBI Bank (I had forgotten to fill that form again due to procrastination lol) and I was suddenly very interested. I did not know what to expect from the book but was not expecting much. However, this book proved me completely wrong. It surprised me in so many ways. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a book that is close to my heart and this taking inspiration from the book (I wouldn't call it a parody) was just the icing on the cake because the cake itself was well baked and nice crumbly and moist. The highlight for me is the author's writing style: the choice of words, the quirky and slightly non-conventional metaphors that hit you right on your face and form a new neural pathway, the appeal to the senses, and the way the prose flows. All of this created a whole and a movie-like story for me. The characters are well-formed and the development of Panoti into a different person is done well. It is a classic coming-of-age story. It is also very Bollywood-esque story though and the female characters (and there were barely any) were sort of flat and only played supportive roles. I think that comes with the point of view it is written from (since Panoti is a young male adult). The naming of chapters with 'P' was a good idea, does it also mean something else? Anyway, the book was creatively woven together and was enjoyable. I would also like to specially mention the Contagonist part where the horror sequence was written. Oh my God, in that chapter the words were speaking to me, whispering to me, yelling at me, sending shivers down my spine. Pawan Jangid truly has a way with words. I am eagerly looking forward to more works by the author. Thank you for Panoti in Blunderland.
February 5, 2017
As with any book, the first thing that attracted me to this book was the blurb. But that is not what led me to read it. That is a different journey altogether which i'm narrating below. (Yeah. It's my space. i can do whatever i want)
I was intrigued about the book when the author had asked one of the blogger friend i know. She is huge influencer but she was pissed at the author who had asked if she wanted to review it with a subtle hint towards making the review sound favorable.
I thought he's up for a review and i review books (sometimes) so why not? I sent out a message on Goodreads expecting the book to arrive. 1 week happened that turned into a month and then nothing. I was pissed. Not a for a moment i thought 'Hey, this guy doesn't owe you anything.' So i decided i will not buy the book till i "find it", which also didn't happen.
Whenever i used to browse books on Amazon this book would pop up. Finally my b'day arrived and when my wife asked what did i want for it, i pointed towards this book. She said, you buy it now and i'll pay you later. Excitedly, i bought it, but she has conveniently or very smartly has forgotten to pay for it. So yeah, i have bought it, but technically i haven't too. I hope you're able to follow this train of thought.
Coming to the book, It's a smart, funny, enjoyable and very well written. Some parts of dragged, but the use of language is amazing to such a level that if this book and all of Chetan Bhagat's books were put together to fight, this book would beat them all to pulp and eat them alive.
I was finally happy that someone who wants to tell a nice story can also understand the English language and write well. (Though there were a couple of spelling mistakes as with any Indian Author book. I mean dont these guys hire proofreaders?)
I still dunno why the author didnt send me the book and why he asked for that favourable review when it was this good and fun to read it.
I'll be looking out for this guy's next book.
I was intrigued about the book when the author had asked one of the blogger friend i know. She is huge influencer but she was pissed at the author who had asked if she wanted to review it with a subtle hint towards making the review sound favorable.
I thought he's up for a review and i review books (sometimes) so why not? I sent out a message on Goodreads expecting the book to arrive. 1 week happened that turned into a month and then nothing. I was pissed. Not a for a moment i thought 'Hey, this guy doesn't owe you anything.' So i decided i will not buy the book till i "find it", which also didn't happen.
Whenever i used to browse books on Amazon this book would pop up. Finally my b'day arrived and when my wife asked what did i want for it, i pointed towards this book. She said, you buy it now and i'll pay you later. Excitedly, i bought it, but she has conveniently or very smartly has forgotten to pay for it. So yeah, i have bought it, but technically i haven't too. I hope you're able to follow this train of thought.
Coming to the book, It's a smart, funny, enjoyable and very well written. Some parts of dragged, but the use of language is amazing to such a level that if this book and all of Chetan Bhagat's books were put together to fight, this book would beat them all to pulp and eat them alive.
I was finally happy that someone who wants to tell a nice story can also understand the English language and write well. (Though there were a couple of spelling mistakes as with any Indian Author book. I mean dont these guys hire proofreaders?)
I still dunno why the author didnt send me the book and why he asked for that favourable review when it was this good and fun to read it.
I'll be looking out for this guy's next book.
August 26, 2019
The book #panotiinblunderland is engaging and does get intense in between. Just when you start expecting what is going to happen, it changes its course.
But I wished to see more of building relationships, more effort into transformation and in some ways a little more reality oriented.
But I wished to see more of building relationships, more effort into transformation and in some ways a little more reality oriented.
January 3, 2018
Really enjoyed it.
December 9, 2016
Best Read till date.Awesomeness overload.Superb book(y)
February 2, 2017
Simple yet inspirational.. Laughter yet majestic.. Amazing book to read!
October 28, 2016
Thank u so much goodreads for making me the winner of this amazing book n i would also lyk 2 thank 2 the author Pawan Jangid for sending me over a free copy of this book
Well here comes the review @Pawan...:)
This is a must read 4 all those guys whoever think lyf is a big deadlock wrever they r standing...
The author has very wittily gives a clear picture of how our society ostracizes the so called "proletariats".
The lyf of the protagonist is somewat similar 2 every1's bt end cud b diffrnt which depends on our courage n willpower n ofcourse confidence..dats wat the author tried 2 focus.....not going 2 reveal his journey...have a visit by ur own..u will njoy..btr than a self hlp book..:)
One of my fav lyn..seriously loved this 1..:)
"Fear is lyk dope,easy nd tempting;while courage is lyk xercise tks endurance nd discipline 2 emulate"
hmmm...nt going 2 drag it anymore...Have a read..u will have an insipiring...humurous journey with 'Panoti'...blended wid 'Chetan bhagat' style swt lyrical lv story.This wnt gv u a hope bt yes a ray of hope 2 xpct how 2 hope...how 2 brk the walls of our own fear nd walk wid courage.
Well here comes the review @Pawan...:)
This is a must read 4 all those guys whoever think lyf is a big deadlock wrever they r standing...
The author has very wittily gives a clear picture of how our society ostracizes the so called "proletariats".
The lyf of the protagonist is somewat similar 2 every1's bt end cud b diffrnt which depends on our courage n willpower n ofcourse confidence..dats wat the author tried 2 focus.....not going 2 reveal his journey...have a visit by ur own..u will njoy..btr than a self hlp book..:)
One of my fav lyn..seriously loved this 1..:)
"Fear is lyk dope,easy nd tempting;while courage is lyk xercise tks endurance nd discipline 2 emulate"
hmmm...nt going 2 drag it anymore...Have a read..u will have an insipiring...humurous journey with 'Panoti'...blended wid 'Chetan bhagat' style swt lyrical lv story.This wnt gv u a hope bt yes a ray of hope 2 xpct how 2 hope...how 2 brk the walls of our own fear nd walk wid courage.
September 11, 2016
I would never have read this book, even picked it up, had the author very kindly not sent the book to me to review. Perhaps we should never judge a book by its cover but I think I am just not the TG for this book. It was immersing enough to make me complete it and the writer certainly has a gift to self-depreciate and has several sparks of wit. I just wish he would use it better. The book is a cross between The White Tiger, a Bhojpuri film, an 80's movie and Chetan Bhagat's Revolution 2020. It could have been so much more as the author has a voice and can write well. I wish him the best for his next novel.
September 2, 2016
It took a while to set the plot in motion, it gripped midway but then it just didn't rose. The middle part is where the author has shone brilliantly. I could literally feel the part of the story. The end however felt hasty to me & made to fit into the groove rather than coming effortlessly. Could have been definitely smaller.
I received a signed copy from the author as a part of Goodreads Giveaway. Grateful for it.
I received a signed copy from the author as a part of Goodreads Giveaway. Grateful for it.
August 31, 2016
The way that your description, wow, I can picturize the characters, the expressions, the words from each character...
For sure you will be one of the young successful authors...All the best...Go on with your inspirational novels...
Waiting for the next release...with lots of love
For sure you will be one of the young successful authors...All the best...Go on with your inspirational novels...
Waiting for the next release...with lots of love
August 29, 2016
One of the best books I have purchased. It's a story about a person who want to turns his dreams into reality. The author has described everything in story form, which is needed to turn one's goal or dream into reality.
Want to read
December 18, 2016Still HAVE NOT received the book after 2 monthS.WAITING TO READ YOUR BOOK AND REVIEW , WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU SIR.
kind regards,
camelia
kind regards,
camelia
February 2, 2017
Yes! Great work! The great fusion of reality and fantasy!
Can't believe this book is written by a fresh writer.
Can't believe this book is written by a fresh writer.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews