Rumors of My Death: A Novel

by Gina Ranalli

Some days just go from bad to worse and Elizabeth “Diz” Aster is getting increasingly depressed by all her bad luck, which includes a kitchen fire, a dead-and perhaps undead-pet, the loss of a job and the loss of a girlfriend. And that’s just her morning.

The obvious answer to her problems is suicide but she can’t even get that right. But what if she hired someone else to do the dirty deed?

Join Dizzy as she stumbles through her ridiculous life, one disaster after another, in this hilarious dark comedy of errors from the author of Suicide Girls in the Afterlife and Chemical Gardens.

236 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 14, 2012

About the author

Gina Ranalli is the author of several novels, including Mothman Emerged, Rumors of My Death, Praise the Dead, House of Fallen Trees, Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, Chemical Gardens, Wall of Kiss, and Mother Puncher. Her collection, 13 Thorns (with Gus Fink) won the Wonderland Book Award for Best Story Collection of 2007. Her short stories have appeared in numerous publications including Bits of the Dead, The Beast Within, Horror Library Volume 3, and Dead Science, among others.

Gina lives in Washington state where she is working on her next novel. You can communicate with her online at www.ginaranalli.com and on twitter at http://twitter.com/GinaRanalli

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very enjoyable, quirky little adventure. I have a bit of a weird sense of humor, so all the dark comedy was to my liking. Our lead, Dizzy, is so hapless that you can't help but love her for it. She has no direction, no ambitions, or anyone to really trust in her life. So you mix those factors in with the nonstop commentary from the ghost of her canary (Who also has a Spanish accent), an crazed old man assaulting her with a salami, a completely inadequate hitman she hired to have herself killed, and all sorts of wild, lesbian relationship antics...and you have yourself a delightful little romp. I guess my only critique would be the length of the story. Usually, with slapsticky sort of comedies, they need to keep to a shorter runtime, as to not overstay their welcome. This exceeded that by about fifty pages. Not that anything wasn't good for the story, but certain aspects could have been trimmed up a bit to reduce the likelihood of reader fatigue. But beyond that one tidbit, I had a really good time with this one.

[Danger · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dark yet goofy slapstick comedy about hapless love and hapless hitmen, Gina Ranalli’s Rumors of My Death had me chuckling throughout, even if the subject matter was a bit macabre. It’s a full book (lots of characters and long, detailed scenes) that effortlessly plays out like a movie in your mind, which is a testament to Ranalli’s strength as a writer: she puts you right in the scene, and keeps her prose clean, so it’s easy to get transfixed by the story. And transfixed I was, by this unconventional love tale.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rumors of my Death is a darkly hilarious comedy of errors about a low-ambition lesbian named Dizzy, her ridiculous frenemies and the sassy, Spanish ghost of her canary!

I laughed out loud over and over again and I'll never be able to see Bullwinkle the Moose without thinking about poor Dizzy and the numerous buffonish attempts made on her life!

There was a character and a couple scenes I feel could have been cut out all together to make this a 5-star read for me, because they were a bit confusing and made the book longer without adding anything. But that absolutely wouldn't dissuade me from recommending or rereading this book. It's still a VERY entertaining ride!

Don't read this book if: You're a homophobe, you don't enjoy silly comedy, you can't empathize with low-income/ambition 20-somethings.

Definitely do read this book if: you like to laugh, you collect Chuck Taylors, you've ever thought about hiring a hit man as a form of suicide, you've ever wondered what accent your pet would have if they spoke.

Buy it from Amazon before it's no longer available like most of Gina Ranalli's awesome books!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever had a bad day that just seems to keep getting worse? That is what happens to Dizzy, and it’s hilarious to read. This book is funny, sarcastic and over-the-top in exactly the way you want a comedy book to be.

Dizzy seems like a nice enough person, but she’s a magnet for bad luck. How else can you explain losing your job, losing your girlfriend, setting fire to your kitchen and killing your canary, all within a span of a couple hours? I felt bad for her, even while snickering and giggling at her misfortune.

This is a great book that will have you laughing and thinking that your life is pretty good. It’s a quick weekend read that is sure to leave you smiling. After all, what can you expect from a character that is told:

You make the Titanic look like a tiny little misadventure.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woah, twist after twist. Poor Dizzy can't catch a break at all, can she? I highly recommend this book.