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Heroes of Destiny
Is Dalton James a hero? Certainly not! He’s a grumpy private detective that drinks too much whiskey and smokes too many cigars. He hopes to earn enough money to pay the monthly bills and once in a while get a woman or two into his bed. But what if omens, faith and destiny all work together to make him a hero?
60 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 21, 2016
7 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
June 12, 2019
Unfinished, but a good start.
This story has potential. Unfortunately, it has been published prematurely.
It starts out well enough, introducing a likable character or two. Then it deteriorates into fifth grade fan fiction. Things happen too quickly, feeling forced. Minor mysteries are solved far too easily and quickly, giving them no significance. The relationships develop way too easily, making them rather boring. The female characters are flat and uninteresting.
The writing is often either stilted, or just has lousy grammar. Not the cool kind of bad grammar that ads style, but the kind that makes you cringe with the knowledge that this was definitely NOT someone who got A's in English class. Or even C's. I can force myself to overlook the odd typo, but in this case the grammatical problems detract.
Again, the story is pretty good at the start. But it feels as if the author started hurrying toward the middle, and then downright sprinting for the ending. Things start feeling more and more rushed and contrived.
This could be a pretty good read. But it needs a LOT more work. As a first draft, the rough bones of an idea, it's awesome. As a finished book, though... sorry, it ain't ready for the big time. There's no nicer way to say it. Completely rewrite it about two or three times, flesh the story out, add some conflict between the main characters. THEN this book will be a worthwhile read.
Oh, and find an English major to fix the grammar and punctuation!
-- Matt
This story has potential. Unfortunately, it has been published prematurely.
It starts out well enough, introducing a likable character or two. Then it deteriorates into fifth grade fan fiction. Things happen too quickly, feeling forced. Minor mysteries are solved far too easily and quickly, giving them no significance. The relationships develop way too easily, making them rather boring. The female characters are flat and uninteresting.
The writing is often either stilted, or just has lousy grammar. Not the cool kind of bad grammar that ads style, but the kind that makes you cringe with the knowledge that this was definitely NOT someone who got A's in English class. Or even C's. I can force myself to overlook the odd typo, but in this case the grammatical problems detract.
Again, the story is pretty good at the start. But it feels as if the author started hurrying toward the middle, and then downright sprinting for the ending. Things start feeling more and more rushed and contrived.
This could be a pretty good read. But it needs a LOT more work. As a first draft, the rough bones of an idea, it's awesome. As a finished book, though... sorry, it ain't ready for the big time. There's no nicer way to say it. Completely rewrite it about two or three times, flesh the story out, add some conflict between the main characters. THEN this book will be a worthwhile read.
Oh, and find an English major to fix the grammar and punctuation!
-- Matt
May 23, 2016
The (in)famous Dalton James have been plucked from the cold steel floor of his space fleet (The Fleet) and dumped in Mt. Pleasant, Cleveland.
There he team up with his trusted friend Adam and as private detectives they stumble upon the unthinkable...
There he team up with his trusted friend Adam and as private detectives they stumble upon the unthinkable...
July 12, 2016
Keep them coming
Good story base Lots of potentially grand plots ahead your writing is clear and easy to absorb. There is nothing more fun than a good read and I could feel that u had fun writing.
Good story base Lots of potentially grand plots ahead your writing is clear and easy to absorb. There is nothing more fun than a good read and I could feel that u had fun writing.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews