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Widower: When Men Are Left Alone
In Widower: When Men are Left Alone, a journalist and a social worker explore the grief process as men experience it. The book contains the oral histories of twenty men, ranging in age from 30 to 94, who have lost their wives to a range of causes including cancer, alcohol, murder, and suicide. Taken together, the stories guide the reader through the journey of widowhood, from the raw despair of the early weeks to the resolved perspective thirteen years later, offered by the only true authority on the subject—the men who have survived it.
246 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1987
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About the author
Scott Campbell
3 books2 followersScott Campbell (born March 24, 1945 in Michigan) is an American writer. He lives in Boston and works as Director of Communications in the School of Architecture and Planning. Campbell holds a Masters in Creative Writing from Vermont College.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_C...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_C...
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
December 9, 2025
We love people. Everyone at different degrees. When we lose them, we are left to learn how to deal with the loss. How we deal with it varies from person to person. One way's of dealing with it might not be seen as acceptable to another. But whatever way you deal with it, there are still some commonalities we share amongst ourselves.
When someone matters to you, it is hard to see them go. For you to let them go.
Memories of them will come to you, even years after their loss. There will be times we will not do so well dealing with ourselves and our state. It will be a back and forth, up and down roller coaster. One day you're fine, the next you are not. You will tumble and return to old states. Struggle through them at different degrees and intensities. And all that is fine. Struggling is part of the process. Making mistakes is part of the process. People might make you feel as if you are not doing enough to move on. That you are not handling yourself very well. There will always be people who will make you feel bad for grieving the way you do or for not being able to move on as quickly. You cannot please everyone. You should not be trying to please anyone.
Listen to your heart. Listen to people's advice and take away only those that make sense or have meaning to you. After all, this is an ongoing journey that does not end even after you are able to "move" on.
They'll always matter to you. There is no reason to deny it. They changed you as a person. Losing them changed you as well. They showed you a world different from your own. Now you are left to rummage through a world without them and with what they instilled in you.
I think there is beauty to be found in the loss of someone you love. So much to be learned. So much to grow. There is so much that is put on the table about yourself that you were not made aware of until then. Their role in your life has led you to where you are now. Good or bad. With time and with your own way of grieving, you will remember them as something great. As someone who lingers in the small things of life. You will find beauty in this world. You will find life is not as terrible. That life has meaning and is still worth living.
Although I have not lost a spouse, I know we all lose people, whether that be through death or through other circumstances. So in essence, I think we're all widows/widowers in disguise.
***If I would have read this when I was younger, I wonder how much I would have taken away from this. Would I have been able to process things differently if I had the words that this book has given me?
When someone matters to you, it is hard to see them go. For you to let them go.
Memories of them will come to you, even years after their loss. There will be times we will not do so well dealing with ourselves and our state. It will be a back and forth, up and down roller coaster. One day you're fine, the next you are not. You will tumble and return to old states. Struggle through them at different degrees and intensities. And all that is fine. Struggling is part of the process. Making mistakes is part of the process. People might make you feel as if you are not doing enough to move on. That you are not handling yourself very well. There will always be people who will make you feel bad for grieving the way you do or for not being able to move on as quickly. You cannot please everyone. You should not be trying to please anyone.
Listen to your heart. Listen to people's advice and take away only those that make sense or have meaning to you. After all, this is an ongoing journey that does not end even after you are able to "move" on.
They'll always matter to you. There is no reason to deny it. They changed you as a person. Losing them changed you as well. They showed you a world different from your own. Now you are left to rummage through a world without them and with what they instilled in you.
I think there is beauty to be found in the loss of someone you love. So much to be learned. So much to grow. There is so much that is put on the table about yourself that you were not made aware of until then. Their role in your life has led you to where you are now. Good or bad. With time and with your own way of grieving, you will remember them as something great. As someone who lingers in the small things of life. You will find beauty in this world. You will find life is not as terrible. That life has meaning and is still worth living.
Although I have not lost a spouse, I know we all lose people, whether that be through death or through other circumstances. So in essence, I think we're all widows/widowers in disguise.
***If I would have read this when I was younger, I wonder how much I would have taken away from this. Would I have been able to process things differently if I had the words that this book has given me?
Displaying 1 of 1 review