Look Into My Eyes: Asperger's, Hypnosis and Me

by Dan Jones

Explore the world through the eyes of someone with Asperger's syndrome

Look Into My Eyes is an autobiography of one man's life through the lens of Asperger's syndrome - a high-functioning form of autism spectrum disorder. As a small child Dan knew he was different to other children, they would want to play football and interact with each other, he would want to crawl around searching for snails keeping himself to himself. Dan found his own coping strategies to manage his anxieties, discovering meditation as an eight year old, and hypnosis as a teenager.

A helpful and insightful read for parents of children with Asperger's

This book offers a rare insight into what it is like to live with Asperger's. Dan has a unique perspective; not only does he have Asperger's, but a large part of his professional life has been spent working with people with autism spectrum disorder and their carers, so this book shares ideas and advice about what to do if you're seeking a diagnosis for yourself or a child.

Through this book you will be taken into Dan's world, from birth to adulthood, through his experiences of the world around him, exploring what has been helpful, and what hasn't. Dan is open and honest about both the positive and negative aspects of himself, and shares how Asperger’s has impacted on all areas of his life & what he has done to address the challenges he faces.

Asperger's wasn't used as a diagnostic term until the mid-1990's, by which time Dan was leaving school and moving into the world of work. Until recent years Dan disliked diagnostic labels because of the way people would take the label and turn it into an identity which would dis-empower them. He also saw parents and carers do this with their children where they wouldn't address things, instead they would blame the label for undesirable aspects of their child's behaviours. What changed for Dan was his experience of being discriminated against. He realised that having a diagnosis may help him challenge the way he was being treated by giving him access to occupational health support. Following his diagnosis he started to reflect on his life and realised many things could have gone differently had he been diagnosed sooner.

"Having Asperger’s can be overwhelming. Every moment can be a sensory overload. I can be walking through a town centre and I will be hearing jarring sounds of machines, and cars, and the chaos of hundreds of different voices, and movement coming from everywhere, having to dodge people, constantly having to try to adapt to people stopping and starting, darting my attention from face to face, and to dogs people are walking, and to movement of signs, and flashes of sunlight off windows, and objects people are carrying. Normally my only escape is to go into my mind and shut out as much as possible. I have tried to convey this chaos and sensory assault through my writing."

The magic of learning hypnosis

The event which transformed Dan's life the most growing up was watching Paul McKenna on TV and reading two of his books. This triggered a lifelong interest in hypnosis. Hypnosis is essentially the study of advanced communication skills, how to apply those skills in social interactions and how to understand people's verbal and non-verbal responses and behaviours. Dan shares the impact hypnosis has had on his life and what it is that hypnosis has taught him.

258 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 25, 2016

About the author

Dan Jones (Born 1978, Chichester, West Sussex, England) is an Aspie (person with Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism) who has over 20 years training and experience in hypnosis, meditation, and the healing arts, including Ericksonian Hypnotherapy, Human Givens Approach, Solution Focused Therapy, and Motivational Interviewing. He has also worked for over 15 years with children, teens and parents. He worked in mental health in the late 1990s, before starting in children's homes in 2000, then helped to set up a therapeutic children's home, before moving into working with parents of children who were either young offenders, or committing anti-social behaviour and at risk of entering the youth justice system if they didn't turn their behaviour around. Dan then managed a team of Family Intervention Project staff, as well as continuing family work himself, and worked as part of the Troubled Families programme.

Relating to his experience with hypnotherapy and the healing arts Dan has written 'Advanced Ericksonian Hypnotherapy Scripts' and 'Hypnotherapy', both have frequently been bestsellers in hypnotherapy and hypnosis categories, and he has also written a novel 'The Hypnotic Assassin', and written the self-help book 'Take Control of Your Life', and the smoking cessation book 'Quit Smoking in 7 Day's', and has contributed to many other books, including Professor Ursula James' book 'Clinical Hypnosis Textbook'.

Relating to his parenting and family work Dan has written 'Parenting Techniques That Work' which is a 'to the point' book about what works in parenting based on his knowledge and experience having worked directly with children and teens with very challenging, often violent behaviour, and supporting many hundreds of parents to create change with their children. For professionals, he has written 'Human Given's Approach to Working With Parents of Teens With Challenging Behaviour' which shares how to support parents to make required changes to help their teens behave, and also shares efficacy research Dan carried out around helping teens to stop anti-social behaviour and youth crime by working with the parents (and not working with the teens directly at all).

Following many requests from parents and family support staff Dan also wrote his bestselling children's book 'Sleepy Bedtime Tales', which is based on an approach he developed while working in residential children's homes to help children to sleep. It is a collection of eleven stories, and guidelines on how those stories are to be read to help children sleep using various psychological techniques and principles, and the book also includes additional information about helping to get children to sleep. He has written a sequel to this book 'Relaxing Tales for Children' which uses many of the same psychological techniques and principles, but to help children relax rather than to send them to sleep.

Relating to his experiences as someone with Asperger's, and someone who has extensive experience working with those on the autistic spectrum, their families, friends, carers, and colleagues, Dan has written what he terms 'an autobiography through the lens of Asperger's' - 'Look Into My Eyes: Asperger's, Hypnosis, and Me' which aims to share what life is like as someone with Asperger's, as well as sharing information based on his professional experiences. This book has been a bestseller, reaching number one in psychology biographies, living with disabilities, developmental psychology, and many other categories, and number 30 in all biographies on Amazon UK. This book is now in its second edition following feedback from readers about what would make it more helpful. The second edition has an extra 50% of content including an extensive chapter of tips and strategies, covering tips for parents/carers, teachers, friends, employers, and those with Asperger's, and a chapter by Dan's wife about her experiences of being in a relationship with someone with Asperger'

Reviews

[Helen Christmas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an absorbing, fascinating book. I haven't read anything like it since the biography of Pete Bennett, (the guy with Tourettes who won Big Brother in 2006). But with so much media attention about Asperges syndrome, it captured my interest. This is a greatly mis-understood topic. I have picked up a wide range of opinions. Often depicted as characters without a conscience, who lack social skills and the ability to 'read people' this is the type of book where you get right inside another person’s head and view the world as they do. Most of us probably know someone with Asperges and maybe it will encourage us to look more deeply at ourselves. On reading Dan Jones' experiences and thought patterns from childhood to adulthood, I could not help thinking this would be an essential guide to any parent who was worried, their child might be affected, with a range of interesting anecdotes. Dan's love of quiet places in the countryside, hiding and observing the world all around him is something I could relate to myself.

But there was so much more...

No-one can deny, this author is brutally honest. He tells it how it is and at times, it’s quite shocking. The story about a girl he didn't want to go out with at school because he thought she was ugly is an example. First reaction: one questions whether this mode of thinking could be an excuse for bad behaviour with little concern for someone's feelings. Yet there is a deeper explanation. The author mentions he was always taught to be honest. This 'black and white' style of thinking was a real eye-opener to me and explains the deeper thought processes of those with Asperges, but without condemning them. The way Dan dealt with his thought patterns and interacted with others through hypnosis is quite amazing. I really enjoyed reading this.

This is without a doubt, one of those books that will stay with me and has taught to see life through a different perspective. I think everyone should read it.

[Thyme · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating read

An interesting look into the head of someone with Asperger’s. It has given me some helpful insights into how to handle situations where someone I know seems to have similar thought patterns and approaches. It also made me realize how much we rely on social “norms.” For someone who doesn’t process social interactions in the same way, I have learned that I shouldn’t feel hurt or offended…they may just be thinking about it in a much more black and white way. A great read to highlight how “normalized” our interactions are, and to consider them from another perspective.

[Katarzyna Jezierska · Rating 4 out of 5]

Annoying, frustrating yet enlightening autobiography of an Aspie. There were moments when I was gritting my teeth in disbelief (eg. When author found it natural not to help someone who was hurt after disobeying security protocols). And still, a great read if someone from your loved ones received this diagnosis. Towards the end includes a broad list pf tips and strategies for Aspies and their families. Worth it!

[Ruthy Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look Into My Asperger’s Mind

A very interesting read which outlines the difficulties and benefits of being Asperger’s. Recommended reading for those who have Asperger’s or know someone with it to deepen understanding.