Motherhood and Choice - Feminist Debates on Non-Normative Motherhood

by Amrita Nandy

As both the bedrock of human survival and an unchallenged part of the “normal” female life, motherhood expects and even compels women to be mothers—both symbolic and corporeal. Motherhood—and non-motherhood—is not just physiological. As the pivot to a web of institutions like marriage and family, motherhood bears an overwhelming and decisive influence on women’s lives. In the face of tradition and sociopolitical discourse and policies, Motherhood and Choice explores how women as embodiments of multiple identities can live stigma-free, authentic lives without having to abandon reproductive self-determination. Amrita Nandy asks the difficult questions How can women live fully? If autonomy is a basic human right, why do many women have little or no choice when it comes to motherhood? Do women know they have a choice? Through remarkable research and searing analysis, Nandy brings an important addition to feminist debates on the conflation of woman and mother, political and personal.

320 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 2017

Reviews

[Aster]

DNF at 52%

Motherhood ideologies romanticize the mother's oppression as her “sacrifice,” even at the risk of her own life and sanity.

The starting part of the book had many mentions of books which made me feel like it would've been better as a list instead. I don't see why it has to be at the start, instead of being at the end in a bibliography or appendix.

The problems with what she called mater-normativity were described well, including the ubiquity of pronatalism in Indian culture often at the cost of mothers’ well-being and oppression. I read through the childfree section of it, and some of the hate a childfree man experienced in the hands of his manager at work was… pretty brutal and cruel. At the same time, I loved one quote referred to by the author from a blog which was now set to private. It felt like a much-needed hug, warm yet forbidden. It made me (figuratively) look around cautiously before letting the forbidden embrace take me full force:

“Every woman who chooses—joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of her own free will and desire—not to have children does womankind a massive favour in the long term. We need more women who are allowed to move their worth as people.”

Watching adoptive parents subscribing to the same pronatalist ideas made me realize I've overstayed my welcome, so I'm dropping it here.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up for the sake of the section on women who choose not to become mothers but ended up reading all of it. It's a little long - not every single story needed to be included. But it's dense and thoughtful, with a ton of references for further reading. It's by far the most theoretical book on mothering and not-mothering I've encountered.

[Indrani Karmakar · Rating 5 out of 5]

A significant and timely intervention into feminist engagement with motherhood in India.