Becoming Phoebe

by J. Michael Neal

Eighteen-year-old Phoebe Rose spent her childhood in one foster household after another, never having a place she could feel safe or a group of friends she could say she belonged to. What kept her going was hockey. The rink was the only place she felt at home.

Now what she wants more than anything is to play on her college hockey team—where she hopes she can leave her past behind and create a new life. But she knows things are never that simple or easy.

Becoming Phoebe is about painful secrets, unexpected friendships, and joining a team so you can become your true self.

422 pages, Paperback

Published February 1, 2016

About the author

J. Michael Neal lives in Minneapolis, where he owns a house and in turn is owned by three cats. His passions are history, fantasy and science fiction, role playing, prog rock, sports, good liquor, and especially the Gopher women’s hockey team. Unproductive at home, he works primarily from various restaurants around the Twin Cities. His favorite authors include Guy Gavriel Kay, Jon Courtenay Grimwood, and Alistair Reynolds.

He has been published in By Polaris Bright, an anthology from the Minnesota Speculative Fiction Writers. His story “Living After Noon” won the Open Division of the 2013 Minnesota Geek Partnership Society Writer’s Contest, and his story “The Love of His Life” will be published in an upcoming issue of Tales of the Unanticipated.

Reviews

[Meg (booksandwinewithmeg.blog) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not really sure where to start with this book. in the beginning it just jumped around too much I was very confused. I wanted to like it because It had a strong female character who played hockey but it jumped around too much...

[Marsha Raasch · Rating 4 out of 5]

So there's a lot of hockey in the book, but reading books about sports or any other passion that I don't share has never bothered me because I ultimately read books for people's stories.
Phoebe is a foster child with all the ups and downs and horrific crimes that often implies. It is telling that one reason she has any chance of recovery is one 4 year stint with a loving family.
She has learned to utilize playing hockey as a meditation and method of survival and redemption and she bulldogs her way into a college team.
Her experiences with the team, learning to trust , learning when. not to trust, when to accept help, when to help others, in other words to function in a team/family is told in varying timelines which I found confusing and jarring but I'm sure there was a literary device in all that and it's probably just me. But the description of her CPTSD and what I presume to be attachment disorder are text book and manage to show rather than tell so you'd have to actually know CPTSD , etc to hazard a diagnosis.
The years of her learning to "be", learning to take back her power and take an abuser to justice ( it should surprise no one that he's not convicted), learning to be alone and to be with someone and how to give back.....are supremely well done.

[Boundless Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not one for sports books, because If I'm not familiar with the sport the book tends to be confusing. Becoming Phoebe is loaded with sports, but they were explained in a way that was easy to understand.

Phoebe had a really messed up past. Her earliest memories are of her knowing and stating that she was going to play Hockey. Girls playing in Hockey is not common and finding her place in this sport was hard, but she prevailed. She finds herself on the team she always dreamed of and along the way she meets people that help her find herself.

This book was written very well. It presented the reader with a young woman from a bad past who, through all kinds of battles, makes it. It provides hope, redemption, and friendship in a new light. It's funny, sad and sometimes shocking and really is a great read for anyone of any age.

If you struggles with your past this story can possibly help open your eyes to those struggles and help you be a better you despite the past...Stormi

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[Liis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid, solid read with a lot more depth and unique aspects than the blurb indicates.
I did find myself crying at some stage because I recognised and felt the inner turmoil and loneliness of Phoebe.
Phoebe is a very unique main character who, due to a confusing and difficult childhood, turns into teenager in survival mode. She is also very intelligent, insightful and driven. Of course, this is not all... but I will stop here and leave one, or two, of the biggest surprise elements for you to read about.
There is a lot about hockey (which if you're not a fan, might not be so great) and I know jack about hockey, but it wasn't tedious.
Phoebe's ability to analyze herself and the game to the most logical results is almost supernatural, as an average human is usually unable to do that.
All in all a very well built and presented story with more meat on its bones than one can expect to get out of it. I liked it.

[Michelle Goodman]

This was very interesting and well written book. It kept my attention due to the flashbacks that explained Phoebe's back story and then at the end it goes into the future to let the reader know how her life has ended up. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone.

[Spunky N Sassy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spunky N Sassy Rating: 4.0

~~~~~~~~~~Lindsey's ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Review~~~~~~~~~~~

No matter how old I am I will always love young adult books. This book is no exception.

[Jennifer Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent book. Great detail in the hockey plays. Book got a bit longer than what it probably needed to be.

[Rajalakshmi Prithviraj · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the process of reading Phoebe becoming herself, I discovered myself. I read it in one session straight.

The story is about determination and self-esteem. It is a journey undertaken by an orphan whose passion for ice hockey makes her chart a path less trodden by girls. The plot revolves around Phoebe and her tryst with ice hockey. For the why, how, when and what, you need to read the story.

Sometimes, life leads us into situations where a stage comes when we feel completely let down. There are moments that draw out the negative emotions of self-pity. Yet, it is during these trying times that strength of character comes to the forefront. It is a strong heart that heals by letting go of a past that haunts and of emotions that hold back. As you read this story, the mind automatically takes you back to those dark moments in your life where many a questions have been left unanswered.

The game of ice hockey has always been associated with men. In this story, the protagonist wants to break the glass wall by wanting to be a part of a team. By doing so, the author has subtly hinted that life is like a sport and all that one needs to do is play on no matter whatever be the sporting event. The game of hockey played on ice needs lots of concentration, focus, balance and of course, a supportive team. Michael is a master at combining both a game and life so that parallels can be drawn.

The writing is lucid. The language is simple however, there are terms associated with ice hockey that have been liberally used. Some may find this a bit difficult but reading about something new is really interesting. I am not a sports lover yet, the story appealed to me. The imageries that crop up while reading each page are amazing. They make you feel like an invisible friend that the protagonist has. I only wish someday this story gets made into a movie.

I loved the protagonist. It is Phoebe's story. She makes you laugh, she makes you cry, but above all she re-instills the belief that every cloud has a silver lining. There are other characters as well, but they all lend support to the protagonist so that there is no shift in attention.

To sum up, I simply loved this book. It made me realise that life is worth living and there is hope for better things to come even when surrounded by darkness. It is a must-read. It will pull your heartstrings, force a lump in your throat and at the same time, it will make you shed happy tears. Absolutely awesome.

P.S - I chose to read this book because of the title. This review reflects my unbiased opinion as I re-discovered my strengths while reading it. How about you?

[We Said It: Literary Reviews w/ Ts Blogging · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: Publisher Read
“Becoming Phoebe” by J. Michael Neal

Reviewed by B. Smart
4/7/16
2:04 p.m.

Meet Phoebe Rose: a tenacious teenager with a passion for hockey and a desperate need to prove herself in the world. Found walking alone on the street when she is only four years old with no recollection of her family, Phoebe is bounced around from foster home to foster home until she finally escapes the system at age 18. She leaves determined to play hockey for her favorite college team in order to break free of her traumatic past. Although she has a hard time trusting people, she eventually opens up to her fellow teammates who are able to show her the true meaning of family. Becoming Phoebe is a coming-of-age story about loyalty and betrayal, abuse and support, friendship, and redemption.

Author J. Michael Neal does a phenomenal job of creating original, emotionally complex characters whose experiences tug at the reader’s heartstrings. His first person narrative is extremely well-developed, and the protagonist’s strong personality and unwavering perseverance is inspiring to read. Filled with thoughtfully constructed flashbacks interspersed with unique, realistic experiences, this novel is rich in depth and raw human emotion.

Becoming Phoebe is a poignant, compelling read intended for mature audiences, and readers may find some elements of this novel disturbing. However, the more alarming scenes are written in a way that is more reflective than graphic. The narrator does not dwell on her circumstances, but rather she views them as an outsider looking in, and her friends help her understand her past while she grows from it. This is a story about the triumph over impossible odds and how the events of one’s life do not define them.

Those who enjoyed Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak or Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower will love this book.

I give “Becoming Phoebe” 5 out of 5 stars and deem it a Publisher's Read.

Cheers,

B. Smart
#WeSaidIt

[Melissa Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5/5

First Impressions
What initially excited me about this book was the fact that it was about hockey. A topic I am somewhat familiar with being Canadian. The added bonus was that it focused on women’s hockey. So naturally I began Becoming Phoebe anticipating to be empowered.

Inspiring
My initial anticipation wasn’t in vein as this book was full of strong hardworking young women, none more so than the main character Phoebe. Her determination and never ending effort was inspiring even despite her past trauma.

About Phoebe
I admire the author for creating a character who although made a university hockey team, wasn’t the best player on the roster. This story could have been interesting had Phoebe been a phenomenal player, but by chronicling her struggles both on and off the ice brought great depth to the book.
Phoebe is a very intense and intimidating character and for good reason. Reading this book gave me a real understanding of what a team is supposed to be; a family. The women banded together and supported her, creating lifelong friendships. Becoming Phoebe is a fairly lengthy novel that I surprisingly flew through. While I had trouble connecting to the main character, I was engrossed throughout.

About the book
Aside from my lack of connection with Phoebe, I did find organization of the chapters to be confusing at times. Divided into two parts, the timeline jumps around. In the first part the story follows her first couple of years at university and the path she took to get there. Meanwhile the second part chronicles her last years in Minnesota and the years that follow.

Caution and recommendations
Becoming Phoebe was an emotional reading experience as it touches on so many difficult and heartbreaking topics. Due to this subject matter I would suggest caution to those who may be triggered by traumatic experiences. Otherwise I would recommend it to anyone looking for a diverse new adult fiction with strong female characters.

[Books Laid Bare · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars
You need to keep an open mind with this book, not that it is going to shock you to your core, it isn’t, but it will ask you questions or moreover encourage you to examine you and yours.
The setting, the interaction that placing the main female characters in a sport that is known as being predominantly masculine was a clever twist.
Phoebe was finding her way in the world and experiencing life in all its magnificence on a daily basis.
The book was well written and the author made good use of many different story telling techniques.
I liked the fact that much of Phoebe’s story came to light as she reminisced, the fact that those details were able to illuminate her present and guide her way to the future, although sometimes what she was aiming for wasn’t always clear, but then again who has all the answers of what the future holds.
I liked the interactions that we were given the opportunity to take a peek into, not only showed how she dealt with what others imparted in her life, in whatever shape or form that might be but especially her connection with her family and her team mates, as they had the biggest influence on her.
But nobody had more of a bearing on her life than she did herself and I liked the fact that the story encouraged her to take a good hard look at herself also.
I loved the fact that the author presented me with a story that was a blank canvas, as illustration of everything that Phoebe went through and by doing this the author allowed me to paint the pictures that his words created in my own colours.
This was a colour by number read, so to speak and that made it something out of the norm and I am glad it was.
A super read that is unlike anything I have read before, will certainly add this author to my one to watch list.

[Stace · Rating 4 out of 5]

At just four years old, Phoebe is found wandering the streets on her own. As she grew older, she found herself sent from one foster home to another, until at the tender age of 18, she was old enough to grow her own wings and leave the system.

Phoebe’s childhood was marred with neglect and abuse. Her only safe pace was on the ice rink, playing hockey, in a mainly male-orientated sport. On the ice she felt less lonely and enjoyed being a part of a team.

As Phoebe flourishes on the ice, she starts to break down her own frozen wall, that she has built around herself, to become the person she should have always been – herself.

Becoming Phoebe is a page-turner of a book. There are many sensitive and delicate issues within the story which the author handles with great care and understanding. Through a series of flashbacks, you come to feel a real connection with Phoebe and have a genuine sense of love for her, and a will for her to become the woman that deep down she really is.

Phoebe is a complex character that you will instantly feel an empathy towards. Whilst her traumatic past does play an important part in her life, she doesn’t let it dictate who she is now and who she wants to be. She has learned to control her own future.

The book is about one young woman’s courage and battle to leave her horrid past behind, and flourish in the present with the help of a great team of hockey players, who she has the pleasure of calling her friends. It will leave you with a sense of satisfaction, whilst throughout it will have you breaking your heart in some places, and beaming at others.

Reviewed by Stacey at www.whisperingstories.com

[I. · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review
Found on the streets at four, Phoebe has known for a long time that hockey is her life. Because of her traumatising and confusing childhood, she has to deal with a lot of bad memories, and does not know how to break out of her default survival mode and start living. Phoebe Rose is definitely a one of a kind sort of character. She’s intelligent, loyal, intuitive, and filled with determination to never let her team down.
When I read the synopsis of this book, I certainly wasn’t expecting a story this deep or moving. There is a very original mix of characters who have their own individual voices and turn out to be a bit more complex than is hinted in their first appearances. The story is narrated by Phoebe herself, and her voice reflects her strong personality and the way she views everything around her (including herself). The well placed flashbacks are realistic, and add to the general depth and rawness of the emotions in the novel.
I like the fact that the more disturbing scenes are narrated in such a way that they come off as pensive, instead of just horrifying or graphic. Phoebe as a narrator is not one to dwell on the past. Instead, she tells it and moves on (to the best of her ability). I do think that the arrangement of the chapters made part of the reading experience a bit confusing. But once I was able to understand the pattern, things went on more smoothly.
Becoming Phoebe is a very well thought out, beautifully written story. It’s touching and filled with “realistic angst” that is not for the faint hearted. 

[Sandra Lopez · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the story of Phoebe, an orphan girl with aspirations of becoming a hockey player. Her earliest memory is about her wandering the streets at four years old with skates around her neck and a man took her to the police station. That’s where it all begins.

Sixteen years later, Phoebe is living her life in college, where she tries out for the hockey team.

Written in the POV of Phoebe, story is an earnest and succinct account of a poor, lonely girl and a dream. We’re basically reading the girl’s diary by the way it’s written, and all she talks about is hockey. Every brief snippet seems to center on hockey. Of course, I believe that girls can play hockey, if that’s what they want, and Phoebe was literally born for it. She’s smart, savvy, and tough.

Being that I’m not into sports so much, the hockey stuff wasn’t that interesting to me. But I admire stories with strong, independent women who go for the gold.

If you say, “Girls can’t play hockey,” Phoebe says, “Watch me.” You have to admire her gumption.

Still, I couldn’t help but feel that the story centered more on hockey than anything else. Of course, hockey is the central theme, but it becomes weary after a while. I personally would’ve liked to learn more about Phoebe—her past, her friends, her life sans hockey. C’mon, the girl should be able to think outside of hockey. Even in A League of their own, the girls had other things going for them besides baseball.

All in all, this was an okay story, but I anticipated it to be more than just hockey. Phoebe’s a great character and readers will enjoy watching her try and fumble. It’s hockey’s version of G.I. Jane.

[Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It's heartbreaking how Phoebe Rose (Patterson) recalls her first memory; and also the reason why the Wilsons couldn't adopt her. All the way through the novel she talks about her passion with playing Ice Hockey, I loved the way she describes her team mates; how she interacts and plays against them in hockey practice. Reading about her hockey career; from her being a player right up until she's a coach; also how she grows as a player, the transitions she goes through was a real page turner for me. One part in this novel that I absolutely LOVED, is the confrontation that Phoebe has with Brent. Abby Forrest seemed like a nice person, though her and Phoebe had a very off and on friendship, but I came to like the Forrest family; especially Jerilyn, and I was glad when Phoebe and Abby patched up their friendship. I could see where Caitlyn gets her personality from: her mother, Anne Morris. Dennis seemed to be a decent guy. When Phoebe finds out her actual family history, it would have been nice if she'd met her parents (if they'd been alive), just to get the actual as to the reasons why she was given away. I loved the writing style of this novel, and I knew I was going to give it a 5 star rating the moment I started reading it. I was given a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review. For the Amazon review go here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/review/R27O...

[Ashley Tomlinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not a sports fan so I don't know anything about hockey or any other sport for that matter. So for that reason, I found it very difficult to get into this book because it focused so much on hockey. Phoebe was a great character and I loved her attitude towards playing hockey one day. That "you can't tell me I can't play" attitude.

I felt for Phoebe a lot, especially when she was really feeling lonely because who hasn't felt completely alone at times. The author did a good job making me feel something for his character and creating this sport filled story. True, I thought it focused a little too much on hockey and not enough on Phoebe and her life. Some people might like that but that's not me.

I recommend this book for people that know and understand sports, especially hockey.

[Devan Chavez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very well written with a lot of statistics and numbers. Not what I was expecting but I enjoyed it all the same. If you care to learn about the sport of hockey this helps you for certain.

The main character, Phoebe is more complex than I was expecting, which was refreshing to me. She's not a character that I can usually connect with, but like I said, the complexity of the character was different, which I appreciated.

The only downside, the hockey statistics and explanation was a bit boring. It was tedious to get through and a couple times, confusing.

All in all, solid novel. I would recommend to a sports fan.

[Amy Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking and Uplifting

It's a perfectly paced story that brings the reader on the adventure that is Phoebe's life, the life of a foster child. She's very complex and is trying to figure her part in the world. It's a well written story and I love how the Hockey theme gets woven in the story, as an inspiration and aspiration for Phoebe, but it doesn't take it over as her only saving grace. There are deeply heartbreaking moments, and then uplifting moments. Phoebe is a character with great depth who over comes a lot in her life, where she could use her poor childhood as an excuse, and she doesn't.

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming Phoebe is a novel by J. Michael Neal, telling the coming-of-age story of a Phoebe, a college hockey player who grew up in foster care. One of the reasons why I liked this book was because it felt unique. It didn’t seem like a cliche novel, churned out of a publishing house with a predictable format. It felt “new.” The dialogue and story had a realism to them. Though Phoebe is a hockey player, Becoming Phoebe is not a “sports book” as much of a character study and philosophical examination of the human spirit.

*I received this book for review*

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engrossing from the first few pages, Phoebe's story unfolds through her love of the game of hockey. Told in flashbacks and flash forwards, at times I felt as confused as Phoebe might have been as she comes to learn who she really is. A great structure that worked to keep me reading late into the night.

[Salla · Rating 5 out of 5]

What it is to become someone? What does it take? Does it take more than it gives? Becoming Phoebe is what may give you the answers. But be prepared, this book is not so easily forgotten after you turn the last page.

Read full review here:
http://bookstoldmeso.blogspot.fi/2016/06/review-becoming-phoebe.html