Critical Failures III

Caverns and Creatures #3

by Robert Bevan

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble... and a gnome... and an undead midget.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Audiobook, Fiction, Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Adventure

Audiobook

First published August 12, 2014

Reviews

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Critical Failures III: A Storm of S-Words (Caverns and Creatures #3) by Robert Bevan is an inappropiate, foul mouthed, AWESOME book that I laughed all the way through. The books just keep getting better. I have never played any D&D ,or in the book it is C&C, and I am a 60 yr old woman so I guess it surprises my 24 yr old son that his mother is laughing her head off listening to this story. I got the audio narration for all the books so far. It adds SO MUCH to the story! The narrator makes it even funnier with his input to the characters. I just about peed my pants so many times. I cried laughing too. I love this series. Yes, it has immature actions, foul words, farts and shit jokes, and, well, you name it. But the way it is done is so freakin' funny! Get these books, spend the couple of extra bucks for the audio narration and sit back and listen. It is cheaper than buying the book all on cd or on audio. You then get the book and audio. Win-win. You can also read/listen if you want. Give yourself a stress break, get these books! I am so glad I came across them.

[Jon Von · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Among other things, this is probably the best ad for Arby’s of all time. What is “bad taste” comedy. Let’s take a scholarly look at this.

The Critical Failures series began as somewhat grounded series about a group of role-playing nerds who gather at The Chicken Hut to play Caverns and Creatures, an obvious Dungeons and Dragons parody. Soon they find themselves teleported into the game world as halflings and orcs and wizards and stuff. They go on wacky, hard R-rated misadventures that incorporate the rules and lore from real RPGs.

In the second book they get up all sorts of shit. It is filthy, far-out, and funny as hell. It has a real ‘I shouldn’t be laughing at this’ energy sometimes. But the frequent twists and constant action make it so addictive. This guy is good at writing past-paced, frantic plots.

And in this third installment, it is a bullet train of comedy action. This series has gotten better with each book, the writing feels like it’s developing from a joke to a real things.

But there is one thing, the jokes. There is a hard-R focus on sex and poop jokes, you either ‘don’t even want to know what that means’ or you’re asking ‘what kinds of sex and poop jokes?’ More than your tiny heart could want. This is a craftsman’s level of filth. This is like catnip for degenerates and fans of shock comedy. You’re either going to hate it or it’ll be right up your sick humor ally. A recommendation and a warning.

[Colby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bevan makes me look like a goober in public again, as I burst out laughing at my Kindle at the YMCA. The third installment of Critical Failures lives up to the action and hilarity of the first two, and then some. I was kind of sweating toward the end, and not because I was at the Y. I was actually getting worried that the story was coming to a close. As I worked through the last few chapters and saw the story getting closer to resolution, I even felt a pang of regret at the characters I would no longer be reading about. Then, just when I thought it was going to end, YES! There will be a book four! Great writing again, from Bevan, CF3 is another story that you HAVE to read if you have enjoyed any of the previous books in the series.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a huge fan of this one. The fart jokes are lessening (finally), but the inclusion of the ridiculous racists and a large number of boner jokes made it slightly tedious. The cliffhanger wasn't as amazing as the last two. I'll still finish off the series, but I might need a break.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why am I still reading these...

[Dr. T Loves Books · Rating 2 out of 5]

What it's about: Finally back in the "real" world, the characters seek out the man who sent them into the game. It's a lot trickier than they thought it would be, not helped by dueling vampires, pedophile police, and the fact that none of them are in their own bodies.

What I thought: Meh.

Why I rated it like I did: If you're going to make your characters unlikable, they need to at least learn from their mistakes. But instead, these bozos just keep screwin' up, and screwin' up, and not a lick of character growth can be seen.

[Morandia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was seriously hoping this would finish the series. Sadly, it did not. It is full of 12 yr old humor, foul language, excrement, and other similar things. I quit. I don't care if they ever become human again. I don't care what world they end up in. I don't care if they live or die. I have no attachment to any of the characters. I read this far to see how it resolved, and it didn't.

[Russell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cram a whole bunch of mostly unlikable people between the covers. Swear a lot and put potty humor in almost every chapter. (There are over thirty chapters in a 220 page book) This book is for Dungeons and Dragons what the Moral Majority is for Dungeons and Dragons in the Eighties. Just the other end of the spectrum. This book makes me question why I read the previous two books in the series.

[Maria Kramer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, that was a thing. It was interesting to see our heroes(?) in the real world, messing shit up with their powers - but three volumes of poop jokes? Gets old really fast. I don't plan to pursue this series, unless my friend forces me to.

[R. S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one was funnier than the previous book, and just as good as (if not better than) the first book. It strayed into some dark territory a few times (Tim's treatment of Dennis and Ginfizzle, for example) but overall it was lighthearted and amusing.
I think the author could have easily wrapped up the story with this book, but alas, there are still four more books in the series....

[Ron · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with the previous two books, there were many times where I genuinely laughed out loud. I can't think of a series of books which have caused me to laugh so much. The content and humor, while juvenile, is perfect escapism and I never seem to tire of it.

Jonathon Sleep again nails is as the narrator and is responsible for much of the comedy due to the amazing work out into the variety of characters. The Critical Failures series is the perfect medium for an audio book.

The only component I wasn't necessarily a fan of were the various racial epitaphs used at a few points within the story, but considering the context in which they were used, I wasn't "triggered" or upset in any way. Perhaps my favorite parts were the continued world building Bevan managed to accomplish. Just when I thought I had a handle on the limits of the world(s) created in the story, Bevan managed to expand upon it in a completely natural way. The results were fantastic and the sky is the limit for this series. I sincerely cannot get enough of the story and these characters. I only hope that the main characters get back to a bit of leveling up in the next book as that is one of my favorite aspects of the story.

If you were a fan of the first two books, then this one is a no brainer and a must have.

[Beka · Rating 5 out of 5]

hahahahahhs awesome! must have more!

[Shaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funniest book of the series so far!

2020 Update: On second read-through of this series, it's still the funniest.

[Keith Chalk · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good continuation of the story. The over all story arc moves forward with more characters and interplay.

[Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is awesome, perfect.

[Tracey Kunkel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun

Great silly fun and quick easy ride, especially for anyone who has ever played a RPG. Maybe it's a little crude, but it's probably not a nominee for Pulitzer prize. Truly made me laugh out loud.

[z3r0 c00l]

03/25/22 -
02/20/20 -
02/20/18

[InexactEarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story continues to build on the humorous antics of the somewhat juvenile players as they try to deal with being their characters in the real world. Another laugh out loud sequel is that was a joy to read!

[Ross Alon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This series genera it basically meta, done in a not so subtle way as modern meta stories. It still has all the flaws of the first 2 volumes, but also quite entertaining.

[Jordan Steinhoff · Rating 1 out of 5]

What happens when the displaced players make it back to the real world?

More of the same, really, just in the real world. The gang has made it back to Earth with the help of an NPC at the end of the previous book but, they discover that Mordred's spell is not undone. They are their characters still.

This could have been a funny plot device but the author really steps on it by adding two pedophiles to the group. Not only that, by the end of the book they're fully integrated into the party. Gotta say, it's not a cool move. If there was some sort of justice/punishment (more than what is done) then maybe it would have been ok but, as it stands, they seem like they've been accepted into the party and I don't find that acceptable.

Won't be checking out the rest of the series.

[Gregg · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this scene, Dennis, a pedophile cop, is getting ready to assault Tim, who has come back to the real world as a halfling, whom Dennis mistakes as a child.

”Come on, Dennis,” said Randy. “Just let the boy go.”

“Never mind,” said Dennis. “I got one.” He kicked Tim. “Go on. Get up, boy.”

Tim stood up. “I’m warning you, you sick fuck. You’d better stay away from me.”

“Hop into the back of the van, son” said Dennis. “Randy, not a word out of you or I’ll shoot you dead and put a knife in your hand.”

“You’re a fucking police officer!” cried Tim.

“That’s right,” said Dennis, pulling a condom out of his back pocket. “And now I’m about to protect and serve.”

So bad. So, so wrong. I couldn’t help it, though. I laughed like crazy.

[Heath Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I made it through this book but it wasn't easy. After enjoying the first of the series, I tore through the 2nd and brushed off some cheap tendencies. Unfortunately, those turned out to be the bread and butter of book III to my disappointment. My tolerance for the ever-increasing abundance of juvenile reference and vulgar attempts at humor ran out about halfway through. Once you add in the devolution to what is an essentially rotating plot, any desire I had to stick with the characters dwindled to nothing. This was also disappointing, because I found them to be at least somewhat relatable and realistic.

[Josh Cheshire · Rating 4 out of 5]

I mean, these are just zany, foul-mouthed fun geared toward the RPG gamer. You're either in the mood for it, or you're not. In this case, I thought the book was less of a complete story in itself and more of a bridge between the second and (I assume) the fourth. I kept thinking I was near the end when some other madcap insanity took place that continued the plot forward.

It's fun. The whole series is fun. But it's probably for a limited audience.

[Tracy Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unexpected end to this third installment

I enjoyed this book as much as I have entries whole series from the start. So funny and it really makes me think of being in a role playing game. I have recommended this book and the series to others and I will continue to. It's hilarious and well written. Can't wait for the next book.

[Brian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I laughed. Don't get me wrong, it was still funny, but I was expecting more at this point and got more of the same. Poop jokes got old and the inclusion of two new VILE characters was too much for me. I was waiting for the new characters to meet some sort of justice but the fact that they integrated so well with the main characters was actually just as troubling.

[Lulu · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reviews are for readers.

This book was trying to be Dungeon Crawler Carl but instead it's middle schoolers trying to be edgy and cool.

Not fun enough to outweigh the annoyance- it broke my immersion in the story and I felt like I was drudging through to finish. I think there's an audience that would love this. It just isn't me. I won't be continuing the series.

The characters are idiots, and it's painful because you can literally see the consequences of their stupid plans and actions coming. Some dumbassery makes sense, but it's just nonstop and there's never any change or growth or attempt to do anything different. It feels like watching the same 5 minutes of Who's on First or Monty Python (but never witty) on repeat for days.

The characters are also really unlikeable assholes. I mean, sure, they always have been, but it just keeps getting worse. The crassness and humor in general is overdone and annoying instead of funny. I get that being childish/racist/sexist/predatory/dick heads/whatever is a genuine characterization of some people, but it's CONSTANT and from everyone, with zero consequences or growth, so you're left thinking maybe it's more just the voice of the author peeking through. And the inclusion of THOSE two characters? uhhhhh weird choice. Either way, it's just not fun or funny any more.

To be fair, this is very similar to the previous two books. I like some aspects of the story, and I like DnD. I genuinely enjoyed the first book, and felt medium about the second-- parts were getting rough and tired, but I hoped that was a fluke and this book would tie it all together. NOPE. Nothing ever changed or developed or even resolved, and the annoying parts were amplified. If you're looking for the same with remixed settings, read this book.

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Something every serious D&D player has fantasized about at some point is what they would do if they had their character’s powers in the real world. That’s most of the plot of Critical Failures 3 and since our cast of heroes aren’t the most competent group of people on the planet, the results of their efforts are quite hilarious.

To be clear, they don’t just have their characters’ abilities, they also are their character races. At the end of the last book, they thought they’d figured out a way to get back home without Mordred’s help only to discover that they could, but they didn’t transform back into normal humans. For a few of them—Tim the Halfling for example—I understood his desire to fix this problem. But for most of the rest, I’m not sure I would have been in as big of a hurry to get transformed back into a normal person again. But the characters did want to, and their efforts to catch up with Mordred provide a delightfully madcap adventure. The novel also adds three new characters and an NPC who might as well be a character to the cast.

Finally, the entire book, the reader watches Mordred prepare the four middle school kids who delight in living in a fantasy world and call themselves the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to come back to the real world and destroy our cast of heroes. I don’t think Bevan could have handled that final encounter any better. It’s amazing, and like the rest of the book, absolutely hilarious.

[Troy Neenan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book when it first came out so pardon me for being late to the party. I'll just saw that Bevan is really the king when it comes to gross and inappropriate humour. If a lot more of these books were around when I was a kid I would have seen reading as a treat and not as chore.

Plot: This book immediately follows the second one. Tim and his group of misfits have finally returned to Earth, only they aren't back in their human forms. As always the group causes more trouble than they fix as Tim inadvertently brings his vampire sister into the real world, and New Port descends into chaos. We also get some new characters.

If you haven't read any of the author's works I would point out that while well written, Bevan is not for everyone. This is gross humour with plenty of fart and bodily fluid jokes. So while parents wouldn't want their 9-year-olds reading it, this would be a way to get kids 12 years and older into the wonderful world of reading. They might even be able to learn some new words and that there are some cops that you shouldn't trust.

[Mars Woody · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’ve made it this far into the Caverns & Creatures series, you already know what you’re in for—plenty of chaotic humor, absurd situations, and an unfiltered look at a party of misfits trying (and often failing) to navigate their RPG-turned-reality. Critical Failures III delivers even more laughs, but also more cringe-worthy moments, especially with its crass humor and an increase in racist and ableist “jokes.” While these elements can be jarring, they also paint an accurate picture of the setting—Gulfport, MS, in the early 2000s—making them feel, at times, like an uncomfortable but realistic part of the worldbuilding.

One of the book’s strongest additions is Stacy. Her presence brings some much-needed balance to the group, often counteracting the crew’s impulsiveness. Her character provides a fresh dynamic and helps to ground the story amidst all the chaos.

While Critical Failures III doesn’t hold back on its signature style—crude jokes, slapstick misadventures, and RPG satire—it also pushes the boundaries more than previous books. Some readers may find that it leans a little too heavily on shock value, but if you’ve enjoyed the series so far, there’s still plenty here to appreciate.

[Tory Thai · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somehow the writing here never manages to let you be bored long enough to consider stopping.

This, one again, is some of the best and most well written garbage I've ever consumed. It's ridiculous and dark humor paired with a fast paced and always moving plot was just so much fun.

The cast is kinda big too but somehow the writing is just so good at making everyone stand out as individual that i never really get lost with who is who and their recognizable characteristics (except for the bard, Chaz I think, I always forget he's there but I think that's just part of a running joke with how useless he is).

I just had so much fun with what this plot turned into and I even managed to get anxious several times during some tense action scenes and anxious where it was going.

Overall this was just terrific and Im so happy to be invested in this well written universe and can't wait to get into it more.