Faith of a Father A Father's Open Letter to His Daughter

by Frank Barbehenn

Using his thirty-five years in clinical practice, theological expertise, and professional self-analysis, Frank invites you on a totally unique ride. Structured as a father’s open letter to his daughter Kristen, Frank’s memoir explores his magnetic draw to faith...and the spiritual maelstrom that drew him to a profound yet deeply conflicted journey with Jesus Christ. The highly readable story of Frank’s emerging faith in Jesus is a spellbinding dance among various forces in his life. In this most personal, page-turning exposé, he courageously discloses how trauma shaped his life――nearly from the moment of his birth. Beginning in infancy, he was traumatized by an extraordinarily cold, emotionless alcoholic mother. From early childhood on, he was emotionally abused by an angry disabled father. Later, in midlife, he was twice traumatized by disabilities――disabilities that emerged as a result of his childhood. He reveals utterly intimate details of how his mind was forged through those traumas――driving his unchosen but painstaking quest for spiritual truth. It’s the story of how one man found and embraced faith――not only the circumstances that engendered it, but the forces deep inside him that shaped his hypnotic draw to it. In poignant detail, he describes how that faith really looks――from the inside out――from deep within his own psyche. And it all culminates in a story Frank never fully shared with his daughter...until now...in Faith of a Father. Faith of a From Torment to Trust is a 2016 Illumination Book Award Winner and Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist.

404 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Albertus Minimus · Rating 5 out of 5]

A childhood that was affected by trauma, but redefined and reshaped by his new-found life in Christ. A very honest and personal telling of the author’s struggles, joys and purpose of his journey.

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Frank Barbehenn wrote ‘A Father’s Faith’ initially as a letter to his daughter and, by extension all of his children, describing his faith walk from childhood to date. At times speaking with raw honesty and at others with absolute joy in his ‘Pops’, the author portrays a faith that is an up-and-down jagged line, as many of us have. Most, however, have not endured what he has throughout his relatively short life to date and still been willing to seek God and grow closer to Him. Frank shares with rare insight and refreshing candor, a tremendous knowledge of scripture and wisdom to correctly apply it.

Frank was raised in the doctrine of the Catholic Church, learning and observing obedience but lacking in love. Love from his parents, and ultimately knowing what God’s love is and how to receive it. It is easy for those who have been to parochial school to understand how one is taken through commandments and confirmation classes, and approaching matters of faith almost as a subject like algebra or history. The love of God shared in many older parochial schools sadly was more head than heart knowledge. Abuse from his parents since infancy tarnished his view of love, as did the long-term, disabling diseases that took both of them from him.

The Lord had, and still has, a plan for Frank. Did He have one for his parents? Absolutely. Perhaps in the way of one who was deprived of love from an early age, Frank reached out to those who reached out to him with love and acceptance, including the pastor of the Koinonia church when he was in college and a priest from his Catholic high school, Father O’Reilly, both who became friends. Especially, the woman who remains his beautiful bride through seasons of joy as well as pain. Frank was blessed with an older brother, Herb, who taught him some of the things that his father couldn’t, even as he missed the father who could play catch when he was much younger.

It is easy to admire a man who has pursued his dreams and education no matter the cost. When studying physics and the realm of all things that could be proven, Frank was first invited to attend Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship. Only God could have orchestrated that! Frank later attended seminary, then became a psychotherapist. Years of study and degrees demonstrate his gifted, brilliant mind. Most important, his struggle to find faith in God showed how the Holy Spirit gave him a beautiful heart and spirit.

In middle age, he ran headlong into disabling illnesses, yet, Frank persisted in pursuing the Lord, and seeking Jesus. In spite of terrible side effects from medications that had helped him live, Frank chose life. He chose to be a man that God could use, over and over, a man who continues to help people and seek a quality life with his children and grandchildren.

Many daughters would give up much to receive an honest, no-holds-barred letter from their father about his life, motivations, love of his bride and family, and the unrelenting love of his heavenly Pops. Frank is a Christian brother who my Papa will continue to use in mighty ways! I highly recommend ‘A Father’s Faith’ to believers and seekers, those whose lives have been relatively smooth sailin’ and those who have endured extreme hardships. It is the kind of book that can be read and re-read, one that can be shared between fathers and children.

With a grateful heart, I received a copy of this book through the “For Readers Only” group at The Book Club Network in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own, and no monetary compensation was received for this review.

[Anne Rightler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faith of a Father is a very personal, very poignant account of the author's journey to wholeness in Christ. Barbehenn has shared his heart specifically with his daughter and ultimately with his readers. From religious roots of Catholicism, through the influence of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and Christian friends who modeled discipleship to leadership in the Presbyterian church, the reader is given an amazing account of Barbehenn's search for truth.The questions he saw in his parents' lives became his own. Does God exist? Does God care? In his 'naturally idealistic' and 'unwaveringly practical' strategy to understand life and know reality, despite a seemingly uncaring alcoholic mother and an emotionally abusive father, Frank recognized that the moral values that had shaped his life were the 'scaffolding of his identity'. Throughout the book, the author reasons his way to truth through the Scriptures and concludes his belief in God rests solely on one thing--the fact that Jesus came back to life. The core beliefs of Barbehenn resonate with my spirit as he writes basically a treatise on the meaning of sin, death and the reason or import for Christ's death and again the truth being rooted in the resurrection of Christ. As he begins the conclusion of this letter to his daughter he discusses the humanity of personal trauma, the rage, and grief, the crying out for protection and justice and the frustrating conflict that arises. The frustration that comes in trying to make sense of the hard situations that happen through no fault of the victim. The author reminds his readers vengeance and unforgiveness do not lead to freedom of the spirit. "Courage, real courage, is no quick fix. It doesn't come in a bottle or a pill. It comes from discipline. From taking everything life hands you and being your best either because of it or in spite of it." (pg 321) And in spite of the fact that 'trauma upon trauma upon trauma' was heaped on his life, Frank Barbehenn had the courage to learn to seize the day with joy and hope. He has recognized that he has loved and is loved and desires to let love fuel his hope in Jesus. This is the legacy he desires to pass on to his children and grandchildren. This is a lesson in freedom he desires to pass on to his readers.
I received a copy of this book through The Book Club Network (bookfun.org) in exchange for my honest review. I have posted reviews on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Deepershopping.com, Christianbook.com, Booksamillion.com, Bookfun.org, and GoodReads.

[Deana Dick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever read a book that touched you so deeply, that after finishing it all you could do was cry. This book was one of the most powerful and touching books I've read in a very long time on a subject that is difficult to talk about. The author had real questions about if there really was a God as he struggled through trauma growing up. I'm sure it was very difficult to have an alcoholic mother who didn't seem to care about him and an emotionally abusive father. It's hard to feel like anyone cares when you feel unloved .

I was so impressed how the author found scriptures that helped him through this difficult time in his life. He found his way to God and realized that his belief was in the truth that Jesus came back to life. With that knowledge how could he not believe that God existed? The book is a letter to his daughter but for many of us it is a letter of healing , forgiveness and hope. He explains that although there was a time he cried out for protection and a feeling of rage, that we must remember as victims it is not our fault. It is so easy to say "If I had done this differently , maybe I would not have been treated so badly." There is no truth in that and it is never the victims fault. " Courage, real courage , is no quick fix. It doesn't come in a bottle or a pill. It comes from discipline. From taking everything life hands you and being your best either because of it or in spite if it." That statement really hit home for me. Through everything I went through as a child I always tell people I would not change a thing. It made me stronger and gave me a deeper trust in God. I believe things happen for a reason.


The author endured many traumas but I admire that he was able to find courage and with it came joy and hope. His love for God, his children and grandchildren is evident as he shares his story. He has given them a legacy that shows how no matter what you go through , God is there. He loves you and He will never leave you. The book is one I will return to often to give me encouragement as I strive to overcome my childhood trauma. Thank you for writing such a beautiful book that reminds us that God loves us and we are free. We don't have to live with emotional pain, but can be set free .

I received a copy of this amazing book from The BookClub Network for an honest review.

[Nyla Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faith of a Father written by author Frank Barbehenn is an emotionally packed letter to his daughter (and children) about his life journey. It tells the story of his troubled childhood and his family life. It also tells the beautiful story of God's love and saving grace in the author's life. The book is laced with scripture from an easy to read translation. It is a 416 page paperback book.

The book is extremely well written. The material was a bit difficult to read at times for my tender heart. I grew up in a loving, Christian home. It is unfathomable that parents would treat children with so little regard. Love was withheld and abuse was given, both verbal or emotional and physical. His mother was an alcoholic. His father had a debilitating condition, multiple sclerosis. His older brother, Herb, was able to help him with some things fathers normally do with their sons, such as play ball.

This book is a message is surviving, thriving, forgiveness, hope, and love. It is a book of good coming from bad. It is a book of going after one's dreams. It is a book of lasting friendship. It is a book of a lasting marriage. It is a book about walking with God. There are many things to glean from this paperback and author.

The author's life has been an up and down one. He has had struggles and triumphs. It is inspiring to read how God has worked in his life and used him. What a precious gift this book is for his children and those who read it. I would recommend it to any adult. I rated it a 5 out of 5 stars. A copy of this book was provided in exchange for my honest review.

[Penny Marks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faith of a Father by Frank Barbehenn will leave you with a lasting impression of hope and love. It is a candid letter to his daughter describing how he became the man he is today through trauma. He goes into great detail about his childhood and the trauma he endured. I think about how I would have loved my father to have written what his life was like growing up and what life with my mom was like for him.
Frank was abused by his father and had a mother that was an alcoholic. Thank goodness he had an older brother to help when his father was nowhere to be found to do the normal things like toss a ball. He was raised Catholic but shown no love from his family. He was shown friendship and caring from teachers. He wanted answers to questions that he saw his family struggle with like, Does God exist? Does God care? Why is he letting me go through this? I cried while reading this book about how much he had to endure. Later in life he was able to realize that it wasn't his fault that he was a victim. He tells us that we need to forgive because vengeance will not give us peace. He has continued through life with challenges and learned to be courageous and have joy and hope. Jesus is our hope and joy!
I love that he has left a legacy for not only his daughter but for future generations.
I recieved this book from The BookClub Network for an honest review.

[Cheri Swalwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading Faith of a Father by Frank Barbahenn. He gave insight into the traumatic childhood he had, however, it wasn’t done in a blaming type of way. He was incredibly respectful of his parents and the faults and failings they had while staying honest and real. It was a great read and so encouraging to see how successful he has become in life - even though some areas are still very difficult for him - he has achieved success in his relationships (great marriage, children), in his field of work , and most importantly in his faith.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and enjoyed the background he gave as well about the culture in which he grew up in - that sense of community that not everyone is blessed to have grown up with.

I received this book for free from the author and Book Club Network in exchange for my honest opinion. I have posted also on Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Goodreads, and Deeper Shopping.

[Carrie Gould · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a thought-provoking and open letter written from father to daughter about his struggles and search for truth. I appreciate that this author is willing to openly share his journey and feel this book will benefit all who read it, and will meet them where they are. The author had a very difficult childhood and deals with his own struggles as an adult, but his faith has helped him overcome these difficulties. Brought up as a Catholic, he struggled with inconsistencies in that religion and finally found truth in Jesus Christ. It is a good read. It will make you look at your own life and your own faith.

I received a copy of this book from the Publisher in exchange for my honest review which I have given.

[Diane Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written in letters from a father to a daughter. Frank Barbehenn takes his experiences in life and writes to his daughter in a letter form. It shows what is on his heart and how he has learned from the experiences. It is written in the 1st point of view, which I love. He is very honest and down-to-earth in his letters. I think it is really neat that he took the time to do this and it shows his love for his daughter. This is a book to read slowly to really digest the whole meaning.

I received this book from bookfun for my honest opinion.

[Lori Weller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faith of a Father is an interesting book. It is a series of letters written by a father to his daughter. It describes his journey of life in detail, however painful it may be. It need to be read slowly to be enjoyed and understood. It is a true gift given to her.
I received the book from the Book Club Network in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-felt, poignant account of childhood trauma and coming to terms with that and finding faith. I have a great deal of respect for a man who can put this all out there to help others and he has done it in such a way as to not denigrate his parents. Having endured childhood trauma myself, this book is a beacon of finding a way through, of finding faith.