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His Father Still: A Parenting Memoir
Reid Hollister was a rambunctious, handsome, and sometimes rebellious teenager. While he delighted many friends with humor and antics, he struggled as a student, regularly tested his parents patience, and chafed at efforts to guide and discipline him. As he began his senior year in a private high school, Reid suddenly found himself accused of misconduct, which he vehemently denied. Several days later, driving on a highway, Reid died in a one-car crash.
His Father Still " A Parenting Memoir" is, first, Reid s father s disarmingly candid account of the tumult of parenting Reid through his teenage years, and then confronting the unthinkable obligations of a father to a son after a sudden tragedy. But this book is about much more than parenting and grief. In the months following Reid s crash, as Tim Hollister worked to steady himself and his family, he found himself consumed by an accelerated need to answer two Had he been a good father? And in raising his son, had he struck the right balance between exposing him to life s risks while protecting him from life s dangers?
Answers came in large part from a flood of condolences conveyed through letters and emails, and also in social media posts -- which at the time, 2006, were a brand-new phenomenon. From these messages emerged a mosaic of Reid s character and personality that was barely known to Tim while Reid was alive because, as parents raise teens by letting out the tether, they see less of and know less about their kids. Thus, after Reid s passing, Tim learned more about his son than he had known while Reid was alive. While this portrait arrived too late, it was not unwelcome; Reid s crash and its aftermath eventually segued to Tim forging these new insights into the foundation of a renewed relationship with his son that was, if nothing else, a sustainable way forward.
This book is, therefore, remarkable not only for its honesty but also for its forays into a breadth of universal issues, topics that shaped both Tim s experience as a father while Reid was alive and his reconstruction of their parent-child bond after the balancing protection and freedom when raising a teen; delivering discipline; reacting to a school s contested accusation of misconduct; supervising a teen driver; writing an obituary and eulogy for a teen; composing condolence messages, especially through social media; preserving and then giving away a deceased s possessions; using the aftermath of tragedy to rebuild a frayed relationship; counting blessings; establishing an enduring connection with a loved one who has passed away; and harnessing the power of communities to care for those reeling from a sudden loss.
Tim Hollister is an environmental attorney who has been ranked among the "Best Lawyers in America." After Reid s crash in 2006, Tim became an advocate for safer teen driving. In 2009, he launched a national blog for parents of teen drivers, From Reid s Dad, www.fromreidsdad.org, and in 2013 he published Not So Fast Parenting Your Teen Through the Dangers of Driving (Chicago Review Press), www.nsfteendriving.com. In 2010, the U.S. Department of Transportation honored Tim s advocacy with the nation s highest civilian award for traffic safety, and in 2014, the Governors Highway Safety Association recognized Not So Fast with its own national public service award. Tim has appeared on the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley, the Home and Family Show on the Hallmark Channel, and Kyra Phillips Raising America on HLN. He lives in Connecticut with his wife and daughter."
His Father Still " A Parenting Memoir" is, first, Reid s father s disarmingly candid account of the tumult of parenting Reid through his teenage years, and then confronting the unthinkable obligations of a father to a son after a sudden tragedy. But this book is about much more than parenting and grief. In the months following Reid s crash, as Tim Hollister worked to steady himself and his family, he found himself consumed by an accelerated need to answer two Had he been a good father? And in raising his son, had he struck the right balance between exposing him to life s risks while protecting him from life s dangers?
Answers came in large part from a flood of condolences conveyed through letters and emails, and also in social media posts -- which at the time, 2006, were a brand-new phenomenon. From these messages emerged a mosaic of Reid s character and personality that was barely known to Tim while Reid was alive because, as parents raise teens by letting out the tether, they see less of and know less about their kids. Thus, after Reid s passing, Tim learned more about his son than he had known while Reid was alive. While this portrait arrived too late, it was not unwelcome; Reid s crash and its aftermath eventually segued to Tim forging these new insights into the foundation of a renewed relationship with his son that was, if nothing else, a sustainable way forward.
This book is, therefore, remarkable not only for its honesty but also for its forays into a breadth of universal issues, topics that shaped both Tim s experience as a father while Reid was alive and his reconstruction of their parent-child bond after the balancing protection and freedom when raising a teen; delivering discipline; reacting to a school s contested accusation of misconduct; supervising a teen driver; writing an obituary and eulogy for a teen; composing condolence messages, especially through social media; preserving and then giving away a deceased s possessions; using the aftermath of tragedy to rebuild a frayed relationship; counting blessings; establishing an enduring connection with a loved one who has passed away; and harnessing the power of communities to care for those reeling from a sudden loss.
Tim Hollister is an environmental attorney who has been ranked among the "Best Lawyers in America." After Reid s crash in 2006, Tim became an advocate for safer teen driving. In 2009, he launched a national blog for parents of teen drivers, From Reid s Dad, www.fromreidsdad.org, and in 2013 he published Not So Fast Parenting Your Teen Through the Dangers of Driving (Chicago Review Press), www.nsfteendriving.com. In 2010, the U.S. Department of Transportation honored Tim s advocacy with the nation s highest civilian award for traffic safety, and in 2014, the Governors Highway Safety Association recognized Not So Fast with its own national public service award. Tim has appeared on the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley, the Home and Family Show on the Hallmark Channel, and Kyra Phillips Raising America on HLN. He lives in Connecticut with his wife and daughter."
306 pages, Paperback
First published September 15, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
April 23, 2019
I purchased this book when it was first published in 2015. As a mother who lost a child, I couldn't get past the first few chapters. I just wasn't ready. My book club selected the book so with some angst and trepidation, I started it again.
The book is heartfelt and almost raw in places and honestly reflects his grief and loss and recovery. The author seems like an amazing person. If you want to better understand what it is like to lose a child and how to support someone in their grief, you will benefit from this book.
The book is heartfelt and almost raw in places and honestly reflects his grief and loss and recovery. The author seems like an amazing person. If you want to better understand what it is like to lose a child and how to support someone in their grief, you will benefit from this book.
January 29, 2016
This story is heart-wrenching in the beginning, as we read about the accident which took Reid's life, and the pain of his parents in the aftermath. By the end, however, you can feel the hope and continued love.
Tim speaks from his heart and gives everyone a clear view of what it is like to raise a teenager. His great love for his son, as well as his intense grief, is evident all throughout the book.
I would recommend this book to every parent.
Tim speaks from his heart and gives everyone a clear view of what it is like to raise a teenager. His great love for his son, as well as his intense grief, is evident all throughout the book.
I would recommend this book to every parent.
June 29, 2018
I really enjoyed this read. I think I am at a great point in my life to fully understand some of the complexities of this book. I have 2 children over the age of 18 and one who is 10 Tim Hollister speaks a lot about the upbringing of his son as well as the difficulties. He is honest and sincere. There was a bit more religious emphasis than I normally prefer but it is not "preachy". The outpouring of support the family received was awe-inspiring.
January 16, 2023
This book was written by a Connecticut father and we were able to invite him to speak to our book club which was a very moving experience. I remembered when the accident happened because his son was the same age as mine at the time and of course, like all parents, I worried about his being a new driver. Little did I know I would meet Reid’s father 15 or so years after the fact.
The book was also very meaningful to me because of the people in my life who have lost children and though I have grieved deeply with and for them, one can never know the depth of their pain...But we can try and reading Tim’s book is one way to get a step closer to having insight into both their pain and their journeys.
The book was also very meaningful to me because of the people in my life who have lost children and though I have grieved deeply with and for them, one can never know the depth of their pain...But we can try and reading Tim’s book is one way to get a step closer to having insight into both their pain and their journeys.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews