The St. Tropez Lonely Hearts Club

by Dame Joan Collins

Contessa Carlotta di Ponti, stunningly beautiful and filthy rich, has finally escaped her abusive marriage and is looking to find true love in St. Tropez.

The party season kicks off with a spectacular bash at billionaire Harry Silver's palatial mansion, but tragedy soon strikes. Could seemingly innocuous events - a bad oyster, a fatal wasp sting, a faulty funicular - mean something more sinister for the bejewelled citizens of St. Tropez?

It is up to glamorous detective Gabrielle Poulpe to save the day and find the murderer in their midst or life on St. Tropez as its residents know it could be over forever. Can Gabrielle find the culprit before it's too late?

Join the wealthy and the fabulous in the ultimate playground of the rich and the famous, for sun, sin, sex and scandal as they battle a threat from within...

Genres: Contemporary

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 5, 2015

Reviews

[Mairita (Marii grāmatplaukts) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saņēmu no grāmatas tieši to, ko gaidīju - tīru bezdomāšanas izklaidi. Šis bija kā lasīt dzelteno presi sēžot pie friziera. Anotācija gan dod mājienu uz krimiķi un izmeklēšanu, bet izmeklēšana ir vienkārši smieklīga. Vispār viss romāns ir brīnišķīgi smieklīgs. Viss grozās ap bariņu bagātnieku un slavenību Sentropēzā. Vairāki tiek nogalināti, atrisinājumam no krūmiem izstumj vairākas klavieres un beigas ir klišejiskas "happy ever after". Nepamet sajūta, ka es arī šādā līmenī varētu uzrakstīt, jo esmu redzējusi pietiekoši daudz Holivudas filmu, iztēlei pietiktu.

[Sintija Buhanovska · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ja vēlaties lasīt grāmatu, kurā būs pilns ar stereotipiem, paredzamiem sižeta pavērsieniem un kā lasītājam nemaz nevajadzēs piepūlēties, lai kaut ko saprastu, tad šī būs īstā izvēle. Kaut kas no glamūra, ballītēm, norietēt sākušām, bet socializēties kārām zvaigznēm, kaut kas no mērķtiecīgi iepazīties kāriem ļaudīm dažādos vecumos, kaut kas no krimiķa un "labais vienmēr uzvar" stāsta. Tieši tik viegli, izklaidējoši un uz literāru vērtību nepretendējoši. Lietainam laikam piemēroti.

[Eric WT · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ☆ A fun and trashy romp.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to be honest and say I’ve not read any books by this author or her famous author sister either! So I am going into this book with a clean slate and nothing to compare it with. I was keen to read it as the author is obviously such a huge star and I was interested to see how her writing compared to her acting!

The setting sounded divine with St Tropez being the playground of the rich and famous. I expected lots of sex, name dropping, parties and designer gear. I did get that, which was definitely the fun part of this book, but I also got a story that didn’t really get going for the majority of the time. The murder plot was promising but I did find it difficult to take it all very seriously! All in all, it’s great for a bit of light summer reading lazing round a pool!

This book was dedicated to her sister, Jackie Collins, who died shortly before this book was published.

[Jaime LaRoche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your mug of instant will morph into vintage Krug Cristal in a vintage crystal champagne flute, as you slip between black Versace silk sheets in this adjectival orgy of azure Mediterranean, aqua sky and bleached white beaches.
Jilly Cooper’s Laura Ashley Bonkfordshire transported to a heavenly location on the French Riviera, choc full of multi-billionaire yachts and designer porn chic, with names dropped faster than Valentino panties. Chanel, Gucci, Dior, Prada - Sweetie.
Oh, and a satisfying number of stiffs.
( Is cock a very ‘70’s word ? )
Vulgar it is not, but as witty and unreal as La Collins herself.
Loved it.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a big fan of Jackie Collins work. So i thought i would see what her sisters work was like. Unfortunately it doesn't compare . I enjoyed the mystery of who was behind the murders. Apart from Carlotta and her love, i couldn't find anything likeable about the other characters. I don't really want to give anything away. In case anyone chooses to pick up a copy. I found the story dragged in a few places. But apart from that it was an OK read.

[Arto Mutka · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Joan Collins and have read nearly all her other novels. None of them are great literature but quite enjoyed in particular the intergenerational drama of Star Quality and also the 50's film set drama of Love desire and hate but this book was quite awful! Sorry Joan I really love you but it was so hard to follow, too many characters and plot quite predictable and stupid. And dare I say really poorly written. I was looking forward to this novel based on the previous ones I had read but really wouldn't recommend this one.

[Tamera · Rating 3 out of 5]

Titillating book that was an absolute guilty pleasure type of read. Although the plot lines were a bit all over the place, I nevertheless enjoyed reading it. Joan is a wonderful writer and I will definitely be reading more of her books.

[caleb gao]

i blame graham norton for this

[Tripfiction · Rating 3 out of 5]

Novel set in St Tropez, France (un peu de trop in St Tropez)

This is the second novel I have read in recent times where mayhem and murder descend on the Côte d’Azur, it is brimming with the antics of the “Eurotrash”, Russians and the British. And both novels have been written by actresses. The first was by Celia Imrie’s “Not Quite Nice” and as you can guess from the title, it is set in Nice. The St Tropez Lonely Hearts Club is in similar vein but is peppered with more rollicking action – in other words, take several ingredients, give them a quick whizz in the blender and out pops a razzmatazz of wealth, murder and wondrous (if rather mind-boggling) events.

There is the lovely Carlotta, a poor peasant who is rescued in Buenos Aires by the superbly handsome Gaucho and they marry in due course. However, he is a master of violent sexual proclivities, but fortunately for her, he pops his clogs one day, leaving Carlotta to take up a new life in St Tropez.

The characters on this exclusive stretch of Paradise in the South of France tolerate each other (up to a point), but just below the surface lurks a tumultuous nest of vipers. When a series of murders blights their often affluent lifestyles, the investigator duo of Captain Poulpe and his daughter Gabrielle descends to tackle the extreme goings-on. The Captain’s tentacles (poulpe after all is French for octopus) can be felt at the scene of every investigation as he peruses and ponders the clues, whilst negotiating the complex dynamics between the characters. These two investigators certainly have a tough job on their hands.

The whimsical role call of names continues with Francois Lardon, and the author spells our the word-play around artist Francis Bacon, should your GCSE level French have let you down….. There are any number of caricatured characters who strut their stuff, from the wizened old soak with her Latino lover (who of course is bristling to find a way out of the relationship), to Charlie the ever popular TV personality back in the UK, and more. And pop idols aplenty and indecorous Russian oligarchs (of whom veteran screen star Sophie Silvestri says:”… Saint Tropez is full of trash!… And I don’t mean those shabby-looking people wandering around in their ugly cloths. No, the real trash here are the oligarchs – those billionaires with their obscene yachts and the jeroboams of champagne that they spray all over their whores at the beaches and restaurants” – a wonderful if rather depressing image).

And that, in a nutshell is the tenet of the narrative. The question of course, that I would love to pose to Joan is how much of the story is gleaned from personal experience and how much is from the creative mind!

Cafe Sénéquier on Quai Jean Jaurès gets more than its fair share of a look-in as a background setting. Mix in a few possible royals and you have the ingredients for rollicking, ribald and rambunctious romp in the South of France, Summer 2015.

The book was published shortly after Joan’s sister Jackie, who was the mistress of the bonkbuster novel, passed away, and the book is dedicated to her.

[Sheena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this as a goodreads giveaway. A long time since I read a 'bonk buster' probably the 80's but I thought it might be fun to read one again especially as it was sunny outside and I thought I could lose myself in the South of France in my back garden. Sorry Joan it really was awful. So predictable; full of celebrity name dropping, retail name dropping and lots of sex with a pretty poor plot and I found no smypathetic or likeable characters even the 'good' ones were laughable or dull. Well what did I expect really just thought she would be able to make it better than this. It felt like write by numbers.The sex scences in the main were violent or distasteful and it felt they were thrown in to make the story more salacious and 'naughty' not to enchance the meaning or the plot or give us insight into the characters. OK this is not meant to be high literature and I shouldn't be reviewing it as such but as a romp in a glamourous and wealthly location sadly it still wasn't very good at all.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway.

I have read other Joan Collins books in the past and quite enjoyed them so started reading this with expectations of a good read, alas, I was really disappointed. I did manage to finish the book, but I found some of the incidents in it rather strange and I really couldnt find anything I particularly liked about any of the characters. This one was not for me

[Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like 3 1/2 stars. Full review: http://sleaze-factor.blogspot.ca/2016...

[Zee Monodee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of readers seem to diss this book, but I actually rather enjoyed it! It had no pretence that it was awesome, and yes, it wasn't. But it was funny in parts, totally over the top in others, and downright silly in many. But hey, love a good soapie with lots of glamour, sex, and scandal thrown in? No, it isn't more 'meaty' than this ... but if you're looking for light and fresh and downright silly even, then look no further!

[Sue Pratt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, well is all I can say! I picked this up at my golf club library and thought it would be a good summer time read. It brought back memories of being in my early twenties reading crappy books by Sidney Sheldon , Harold Robbins and other writers of this genre. I have to say I still turned every page but really cringed at the way sex scenes are described.

[Irene Paiz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entretenido.

[Noel · Rating 5 out of 5]

joan has developed a sense of humour and it shows in her writing fun and gossipy and a lovely fitting tribute to her sister jackie

[Alena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was ok, but nothing too amazing..
Unlike some of her other work - misfortunes daughters for example is one of my favourite books

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a whodunit. Fully enjoyable once you get into the book.

[Joanne Drinnan · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining trashy book, worthy of Joan Collins.

[Catherine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I nearly put it down, but wanted to know who the killer was. It was not worth it

[Amy Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok the ending seemed to be rushed fun read though

[Sophia Aouichaoui · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a truly enthralling read by Joan Collins.

Easy to follow, and very predictable.

Carlotta was the only character that I really liked and felt believable.

[Glenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

My five word review. Sun. Sea Sin Sex. Scandal

[Mel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book really fell flat. All of the characters save for one or two were unlikeable. Random celebrity namedrops and seemingly forced (and often unnecessary) modernity like Facebook trolls and iPhone 6’s pulled me out of the story. It was like a trashy novel from the 70’s mixed with a YA fiction novel written by some out-of-touch author. It pretty much sucked.

Honestly the only redeeming quality about this book is that it was easy to read but when the story line is crap does that really matter?

[Julia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm struggling to review this because I hate being harsh to authors when they've worked so hard to create something but OMG this is a terrible book!

I enjoy the odd bonkbuster but this is no Jilly Cooper or (sadly) Jackie Collins. The plot is weak (which is fine as it's the premise of this genre) but what ruined it for me is the delivery of the plot. It's badly written, there's no development of the characters and it's just painful to read.

I'm sorry Joan. I hate giving bad reviews but I just couldn't help it with this one!

[Patsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant read by our beautiful author Joan Collins.

This book was intriguing and also funny I really enjoyed it not only is joan collins a good actress but also a good author from the first page to the last I give this book 5 stars and also would recommend it to family and friends joan Collins should write more books .I was trying to work out who committed the murders it was a bit of murder mystery and suspense also very funny in some of the chapters well done .

[Jan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Abominable. I was so disappointed, it sounded so good and knowing how I loved Jackie Collins, I believed that the writing was in the genes, alas it was not, Joan Collins is wonderfully talented but this is not her finest hour. The characters were thoroughly dislikeable and the out come was predictable. Just not for me at all.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was OK, but I did struggle with it. It started off quite well, but then lost impact. I didn't really like the characters, I found them to be cringe worthy and unrealistic. The plot was too far fetched and I felt myself skipping pages to get to the more interesting bits. I finished it, but it took some time.

[Nolene Driscoll · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was given an ARC of this book via netgalley in return for an honest review.

I found this to be an enjoyable read because it was a complete change to the crime novels I had recently been reading but it didn't "set me alight" and nothing stood out to make it stand out from all other books of this genre.